“No one would tell me where you were,” he said after wiping his hands on a napkin. “Wait…this was your first one?”
“Yeah, I’m a late bloomer,” she blushed. She was able to talk to her brother about anything, heat included. They’d been through so much together since being abducted all those years ago. “I’d been feeling weird and stopped by to see Harold after what I thought was a fever. Turned out, it wasn’t.”
“I don’t know why you didn’t tell me.”
“If I’d told you, you would’ve been there, and I was in no condition to deal with you or Taze, or anyone for that matter,” she explained.
Malaki looked at his plate and dug into another piece of chicken, never replying to her comment. She wanted him to keep the peace with Taze. “Look, I know you hate him.”
“I don’t like him, that’s for sure, but I don’t necessarily hate him,” her brother admitted.
“What?” she gasped. This was new information. “What did you two talk about?”
“He cares for you,” Malaki grumbled. She could tell it took a lot for him to acknowledge it. “I can see it in the way he talks about you.”
“We do care for each other, but I don’t think I will ever be able to mate him,” she replied, feeling the heat rise on her face.
“I’m not going to encourage you to find a mate,” he mumbled. “Hell, as far as I’m concerned, no one is good enough for you.”
“Ah, thanks,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re taking the big brother roll a little too seriously.”
“Am I?” he pressed. “I have every right to protect you, Calla. It is my duty as your only family to make sure you are cared for.”
“But I don’t need you to coddle me and hold my hand through everything, Mal,” she sighed, reaching across the table to take his hand into hers. She gave it a little squeeze and hoped it was enough to get her message through. “I’ve grown…a lot.”
“You have,” he agreed as she released his hand to resume eating. “We went through a lot during our captivity…you especially. I will forever be protective of you, because I know…I know.”
His breath hitched, and she felt a shiver of fear roll up her spine. There would never be a time she would be able to live without remembering that experience. It was obvious he was dealing with the same issues.
“We both have PTSD from that,” she stated, narrowing her eyes when he sat up straighter in his seat. “You have not addressed, or even dealt with, your issues behind our kidnapping, Mal. We were drugged, collared, and…well, yeah. I think we should talk to someone. Harold has been good to us, and I think he has a suspicion we never told him, or the alpha, what really transpired in that cabin.”
“I’m a Guardian now,” he reminded her. “It’s not something I’d like to repeat.”
“So, you’re just going to try and forget it?” she asked, her eyes wide. “How do you sleep at night? Do you not have flashbacks in the middle of the day?”
He chewed some more, drank his water, and tossed his napkin on the table. The questions she asked were solid ones, and from his nonresponse, she knew he was dealing with it, too.
“I do, okay,” he blurted as he stood. “I’m dealing with it my own way.”
“By making life hard for me?” she pushed, knowing she’d struck a chord when his eyes glowed amber.
“You’re worth more than Taze Malone, but I know how matings work,” he said, changing the subject. “If he is good to you and loves you, that male better understand everything.”
“Are you telling me I should come clean with him?” Calla was surprised her brother even mentioned Taze and her possibly mating. He was still an asshole, but it appeared he was coming around. If they could just get along, things would be so much easier for her. “Because, I am considering going over to his place this afternoon.”
“I’m telling you that he better treat you with the respect you deserve, or I’ll end him,” he warned as he grabbed his keys off the table. “I have to go back to work.”
“Please think about talking to Harold, or even Talon,” she urged. Malaki needed as much help as she did when it came to their past, but he wasn’t going to get help willingly. Maybe she needed to take the first step and reach out to the healer.
He mumbled a goodbye and was out the door before she could say anything else. A lone tear escaped her eye as she watched him walk away with his shoulders slumped.
Taze had slept the entire day. It was right before dusk when he made his way into his kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he ran his hand over his stomach. He hadn’t eaten that morning, because he’d spent time with Calla. She’d been in her own little world as they ran through the property, and he was content for the first time in ten days.
She’d admitted to always being in control while in her panther form, and it bothered him she was not allowing the panther to be itself. The back and forth between the human and animal was a constant struggle, but there was always balance. If you didn’t let your beast be in control while it roamed, it would drive you mad.
He checked his phone and was glad there were no messages from his alpha or the other members of his team. Calla hadn’t contacted him at all, either. He wondered what she’d done all day, and he found himself going to his front window to look at her tiny house to make sure she was still there, but what he found had him lunging for the door.
“Calla? Why are you sitting out here?” he gasped. The female was sitting in a chair on his front porch, reading a book. She had a blanket over her lap like she’d been sitting there for a long time.
“I was waiting for you to wake up,” she said, tucking a strand of her short, blonde hair behind her ear.
“You could’ve knocked,” he scolded. “I would’ve woken up.”
“I wanted you to get your sleep…” She paused and looked up into his eyes. “Can I come in, Taze?”
“Yes, sure,” he stammered, moving out of the way so she could enter. “Come in. I’m making coffee and need to build a fire. Wrap up and take a seat on the couch.”
My gods, how long had she been sitting out there? The tip of her nose and the tops of her cheeks were pink.
He hurried through getting a fire started and grabbed a cup of coffee after she declined one of her own. Taking a seat in his recliner, he blew across the top of the cup and took his first sip. “How long have you been waiting for me to wake up?”
“For about an hour.”
“Don’t ever do that again,” he scolded. “Call me or knock on my door. I’ll wake up.”
“I just wanted…I just wanted to see you,” she confessed. His panther prowled in his mind, and he noticed when she caught his mating scent. “Your scent is stronger.”
“It is,” he admitted. “Is there something you want to talk about?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think,” she replied, but paused once again. The female was having a hard time getting her words out, and he wanted to show her patience. He wanted Calla to feel safe at his home and with him. The fact she’d been waiting for him to wake made him hopeful she was feeling more content with him.
“Take your time, Calla,” he urged. “I have hours before I have to go into work.”
“I’ve been so confused all day,” she began. “It was weird not knowing what my panther was doing while we were on our run today. When I finally got home and you’d left, I realized how much you helped me, and then my panther kept pushing at me to come find you.”
“If I’d known…” He paused when she held her hand up for him to be quiet.
“You told me that I had to come to you and initiate any physical contact,” she reminded him.
His heart stopped, then galloped. “Um, wait, what are you saying?”
“I don’t know if I can,” she replied, twisting her hands around each other. Her eyes cast down to the floor, and she froze for several minutes. He couldn’t figure out what she was saying. Did she want to touch? Tonight? “I don’t think I’m the female for
you, and it’s not fair to you if I stay around.”
“Are you planning on leaving?” he asked, trying his hardest to keep his beast at bay. They were not official mates, but if she was leaving, he would have something to say about it.
“I really don’t know, Taze,” she replied. “To be honest, I really don’t want to leave.”
“Do you want to tell me why?” he asked, hoping she would feel comfortable enough to talk to him.
“I do,” she sighed, “but I’m afraid it’ll scare you away.” Taze watched as her body relaxed after scenting the air. Her panther responded with a burst of her own mating scent, and he had to clamp down on his desire.
“Then let me be your friend, Calla,” he urged. “Tell me what’s been bothering you, and start from the beginning.”
“Do you have something stronger than coffee?”
“I have whiskey,” he replied, standing when she nodded. He poured her enough to hopefully give her the courage to speak what was on her mind. Glancing at the clock, he made a mental note that he had seven hours before his shift. He had a feeling they were going to need all of it to get through whatever was on her mind.
“My brother knows I’m here,” she stated as she took a healthy sip of the drink.
“Okay,” he drawled. Malaki was a problem, and if he knew she was here, Taze was going on alert, because that male might burst through his door at any moment. Only this time, if he stepped into his domain, Taze wouldn’t let the male get away with sucker punching him as he’d done the last time they squared up.
“First, I want to tell you why I left for ten days,” she began. “I went to see Harold because I wasn’t feeling well. It turns out that I was going into heat.”
“You went through that alone?” he gasped. A female in heat was miserable until she was sedated or filled with her mate’s seed. His panther clawed at his mind, knowing he should’ve been there for her. “I should’ve been there for you.”
“No, Taze,” she frowned. “I had to do that on my own.”
“I know you have your reasons why,” he sobered. “Will you tell me everything?”
“I have untreated PTSD,” she admitted and tightened the blanket around her shoulders. “We all know that.”
Taze nodded. He didn’t want to break the connection between them. She looked so fragile as she turned in on herself. Calla wasn’t the strong female he’d known her to be in that training facility, and that scared him.
“I am going to talk to Harold tomorrow and ask him to help me find someone to talk to if he can’t provide the treatment I need.” The fire crackled as the room warmed. She never removed the blanket, and he wished he was the one wrapped around her to keep her grounded.
“I think that’s a good idea,” Taze replied, hoping to urge her to keep the lines of communication open between them.
“When we were taken,” she gritted her teeth. “My pride was murdered in front of us. Thirty-seven pride members, including our parents, were lined up and shot at point blank range.”
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he growled, feeling his heart crack at the admission.
“The wolves collared and hog tied us, making my brother and I watch as they killed them. I will never forget my father trying to get to us. He looked Malaki dead in the eye and mouthed “protect her” right before they killed him. My mother kept eye contact with me, repeating her love for me as they stuck a gun to her forehead and pulled the trigger.”
“My gods, Calla,” he gasped and made a move to take her into his arms, but she held out her hand for him to stop. He couldn’t hear anymore, but he promised to be there for her no matter what. He knew she’d lost her family and pride, but he didn’t know the extent of the carnage.
“They blindfolded us and stuck us in a van. When we were taken out, we had no idea where we were. The cabin they kept us in was secluded, and even if we were able to get away, we didn’t know where to go. They blindfolded Malaki when they’d bring him here to spy on Talon and Liberty.”
“I knew he was helpless against them,” Taze said.
“He was,” she said as she nodded. “My brother uses his protection of me as a coping mechanism.”
“I would probably be in the same position as Malaki, too,” he declared, feeling the pain in his chest tighten. She wasn’t done with her story, and he had a feeling it was going to get worse.
“They started out by threatening to harm me if he didn’t do as he was told.” She breathed deeply, wiping away a tear as her eyes filled with emotions.
Taze felt utterly helpless. He knew what was coming…he knew what she had to say was going to be earth shattering for both of them, but he hung on every word.
“When he would be picked up and brought back to the cabin with no information on the pride, the wolf alpha would kick me as punishment. After the first week, things changed,” she cried.
“Tell me, Calla,” he said through his thickening canines.
“Oh, gods, it hurts,” she mumbled as she pushed her fist into her stomach. She was trying her best to ward off another panic attack, and Taze was ready to partially shift to get the alpha involved. She covered her face for several seconds while she tried to get control of herself. When she finally looked up, her panther was fully in charge. Her eyes were glowing amber and her canines were thick in her mouth.
“They would…they,” she paused to catch her breath. He saw the panic in her eyes and fell to his knees at her feet, begging her to tell him. “Taze, they raped me in front of my brother when he continued to return with little or no information. It was a few days after when I became weak and was dying from not having an alpha around. Malaki finally made contact with the pride the next time they brought him to town, and well, you know the rest.”
In that moment, his world crashed around him. The hardened front he’d built for himself after training with the Guardians was gone. Every bit of emotion regarding the female for the past few years came rushing to the surface. Tears poured out of his eyes as he leaned his head back and his beast roared at the top of his lungs.
Chapter Twelve
Talon grabbed the back of the kitchen chair when he felt the pain from his Guardian, Taze. Liberty shot up from her seat, gasping when he fell to his knees. “Who is it?”
“Taze,” he choked out. His mate knew what was happening, because she’d seen it many times before. The pain of his people was felt through the magic he’d been given at his conception. It was a gift from his father and his father before him, but he was never ready for each time it struck. “Call the healer…I have to go.”
Liberty put her phone to her ear, and Talon stumbled to the back door, using his beast to help him recover from the blast of pain he felt coming from the male. When he made it to the road leading to Taze’s home, Harold rushed out and pointed across the road. “He’s at his house with Calla.”
If the pain could’ve doubled at hearing the cause of the male’s distress, then it did. Calla had been masking her pain for years, but he didn’t know why. With her training, she’d gotten better…a lot better, but since she’d hit her twentieth birthday, she’d changed, forgoing the training program and enrolling herself into the human’s college. She’d even taken a job away from the pride, but Talon allowed it due to her desire to give back to her people by learning, and possibly changing, their laws.
The moment he and the healer burst through the door to his cabin, Talon found Taze on his knees with his face covered by his hands. Calla was on her knees as well, but they were a foot apart. They were both curled in on themselves, and she was openly weeping.
“Calla? Taze?” the alpha called out, hearing Harold rushing to put on his gloves.
When Taze jumped up at the mention of their names, the male’s eyes were glowing and his nose had recessed enough to show his panther was present. He immediately moved his body in front of Calla and let out a low warning growl.
“Easy, Taze,” Talon ordered softly, holding his hands up as a show of peace. He gave a little
push of his power to calm them, but when Taze didn’t relax, he narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me give you a full order.”
A full order would’ve been mind control, and Talon refused to do that, even for a male who’d gone feral due to the pain of his mate. As far as he knew, Calla and Taze hadn’t touched yet, and since she was still distanced from him, he was certain they hadn’t officially mated. Having the knowledge of your mate, and not taking the steps to seal the mating by touch and bite, could be just as dangerous as if they’d already completed their union when the mate was hurt or in distress. Males were protective the moment their panthers acknowledged their companions.
“Please, alpha,” he begged through gritted teeth. “Leave us.”
“No,” Talon replied. There was no way he would be backing out of that cabin.
“Don’t do this to her,” Taze pleaded. “Not now…please?”
Talon frowned at the male, casting his eyes toward the female. She was still on her knees with her face covered. Her weeping had quieted, but she was frozen to her spot.
Harold made a move to get closer, and Taze roared in his direction. The healer held his gloved hands in the air to calm him. “I know she has panic attacks, Taze. Please let me give her aide.”
“No,” he snarled, again. “She is mine, and I will care for her.”
“She is not yours,” Talon reminded the male, pushing out his power as Taze made a move to defend. He didn’t think the male would attack, but you never knew with a distressed Guardian. “Stand down and let the healer check on Calla.”
Taze froze in his spot even after the alpha had given his order. The distress Talon felt coming from the male was slowly easing. They needed to wait it out for Taze to finally come to his senses and allow the healer to assist her.
“I promise that you can be at her side the entire time,” Harold added. “She’s in shock, and I need to check on her. Please, Taze. She needs medical assistance.”
At the healer’s words, Taze’s eyes finally cleared. He shook his head and backed away enough for the healer to pass. He never took his eyes off of Talon, and that was exactly what the male was supposed to do. Talon held his magic while Harold knelt next to Calla. He spoke soft words into her ear and finally coaxed her into moving to the couch. Talon didn’t miss the moment Taze repositioned his body in a protective stance in front of her new location.
Taze (Rise of the Pride, Book 11) Page 10
