by Valia Lind
"You have to give us a minute. You just bombarded us with your plan, we're not exactly thinking straight."
"Shouldn't you have been thinking about it all along?" I throw back, and it doesn't matter to me that I sound childish. The majyk inside of me has been building since this conversation began, and now, it's just waiting to burst free and ruin everything. I have to concentrate that much harder on my carefully erected walls and the guys aren't exactly helping.
"We do have plans and we have been thinking about it," Brendan says, glaring at Maxwell over his shoulder, before turning back to me. "But Max here doesn't want to stir any waters, apparently."
"Come on, man," Maxwell says, instantly grumpy at the use of the nickname, but he does look a bit sheepish when I glance at him.
"What? What aren't you telling me?" I almost yell at them. At first, I don't think they're going to tell me. But something must've brought on this sudden need for a plan or even discussion of it, and they better start talking soon. Before I really lose it.
"Her Majesty has been in touch while you’ve been asleep," Maxwell finally says and the bottom falls out from beneath me. The last person I want to have anything to do with, and she's talking to my friends. My people.
"What did she want?" I think I manage to get the words out without any venom, but Brendan's head swivels towards me, eyes narrowing. Apparently, I'm not very learned in keeping my emotions in check around him, no matter how well I fool others.
"She's happy you're alive, and upset that William came back without you."
"As expected."
Maxwell continues as if I haven't spoken, "She's saddened to hear about Jemma and wanted to offer aid."
"And how does she propose that?"
"The Council," I'm proud of Maxwell saying that title without spitting, "has a few spies within the Glava and they have a passage we can take. Straight into the heart of their kingdom."
I mull that over for all of three seconds. "And what would this majykal ex-machina cost us?" Now there's no masking just what I think about the offer, but it doesn't matter. I think the boys know exactly how I feel about the Council's help on anything.
"We would have to return to the Royal Court. The entrance is within the walls."
Before Maxwell even finishes speaking, I'm laughing out loud. The boys stare at me, unsure of what to make of my attitude. After all, I used to be the greatest supporter of the Royal Ones. Now, all I feel is contempt.
"Cal, you've got to talk to us," Brendan speaks up, watching me carefully. I'm not sure if he's afraid I'll go off on one of my majykal tantrums or just regular ones. I'm not exactly sure either. My emotions and the majyk within me is all meshed into a tense ball, ready to snap. Taking a deep breath, I try to keep calm, but it's getting more difficult by the second. They're looking at me, expectably and I don't have a choice anymore. I have to give them something.
"The Queen," I begin, turning away from their imploring gazes, and taking another calming breath, "she is not what she seems."
"Please explain," Brendan's voice comes from behind me, when I don't continue. I want to hide behind my own walls, but I know I have to face this head on. I turn, looking Brendan straight in the eye, before I say.
"One of the biggest reasons I left alone that night in the way that I did was because of her. She, and her whole council, have been stifling Skazka for generations. They've been using the land for their own gain, for their own reasons and I was afraid that if I didn't leave on my own terms, something terrible was going to happen. Something that Skazka would not be able to recover from."
My words are met with silence. Not that I would expect anything else. I'm not even expecting them to believe me. As soldiers, the blind following we give our monarch is expected. It's like second nature. It's why we're bread as soldiers. But once again, my friends take me by surprise.
"This explains a lot, actually," Maxwell says, coming up to stand beside Brendan. My eyes seek out his and I see the wariness in them, but not of me. Of everything he's ever been told.
"It does," Brendan agrees.
"You mean," now it's my turn to sound unsure. "You mean, you've had your suspicions?"
"Of course we have," Brendan says, raking his hand through his hair. I have a tendency to drive him to the disarray. But maybe this time, it's not only me. "You and I had our suspicions long before you became secretive about them." He adds, and I don't miss the hurt in his voice. It all comes down to that trust thing again, doesn't it?
"Brendan," I begin, as he moves away. But now it's my turn to chase, and I'm the one to grab his hand before he can escape. "I know it seems unbelievable to you, but I don't know which memories in my head to trust. So much came back when we were held in the In Between, but so much didn't. And now I'm battling with two sides of who I am and who the memories made me to be. You spoke of trust, and I trust you. But I don't trust myself. Not yet."
And that's the truth of it. Right down to the core. I want to appear as the strong leader that they all know me for. I want to be that strong leader again. But every step of the way, I fight the evil inside me and the memories of a life I never had. If I don't know how to navigate those waters, I can't exactly be blamed for it. Even though I do blame myself.
Brendan surprises me once again. Instead of throwing accusations or trying to plead with me, he takes my other hand and tugs me to his chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he holds me, running one of his hands up and down my spine. My every sense is attuned to the feel of him against me and it takes incredible control not to pull him even closer. But just as usual, I hold those desires back. No matter how much he makes my body swim in sensations, I cannot allow myself to drown in them.
However, for this one moment, I take the truce, allowing myself to feel him surrounding me. This feels like a calm before the storm. Or maybe like we're in the eye of a hurricane. The quiet will soon dissipate and we'll be once again plunged into the whirlwind of madness. But for the moment, I let myself rest.
5
That night, we all decide to sleep on the ground. The majyk doesn't replenish here as well as outside of the Shadowlands, but we're so tired, we need the rest. Instead of staying on watch, we decide to set up a web of protection. It's nice having a scholar along, because he can come up with things that we wouldn't even have thought of. The web of protection isn't used under normal circumstances, for it drains the spell caster of energy, but Maxwell has found a way to use all three of ours, distributing the heavy weight, instead of having just one of us carry it. It also doesn't provide with a sufficient alarm system. We won't know someone is on us, until they're right outside of the web, but we're taking our chances.
Once the web is cast, we lay down on the ground, the three of us more tired than we've been. The boys fall asleep right away, the energy of the spell adding to the exhaustion. But I stay awake. Pushing my hands into the dirt below me, I concentrate on the web around us. With my majyk, I can see the faint lines it casts, and I wonder if I'm the only one who can. If this is part of my special majyk, or if the casters can see it as well. Special majyk. I almost laugh out loud. I guess I will call it whatever I can in my mind, except for evil.
Right now, however, I need it. I close my eyes, concentrating on the flow of energy around me. When I seem to have found an anchor, I push the majyk from me, into the web, and it lights up, so much so, that I open my eyes at the sight. The tint of the web has turned purplish. The color I seem to carry with me in my dreams. I watch it for a second, before turning to the anchors between Maxwell, Brendan and the web. With a thought, I sever the connection, cutting it with my majyk like a knife. The boys breathe out a sigh of relief, but they don't wake. At least now I know they'll be fully rested. The anchor to me grows brighter for a second, before settling into a dim glow. I close my eyes again, putting the majyk on a back shelf. Surprisingly, I don't feel drained. I feel more rejuvenated after using more of my majyk. I allow myself to relax even more deeply into the ground and then I sleep.
The routine has become like second nature. We don't speak, as we spread out and move through the forest. We've only been walking for an hour when that undercurrent of danger rushes over my skin. I freeze in my tracks, scanning my immediate surroundings. The boys are so attuned to my movements, they follow suit without having to ask.
Maxwell whistles sharply, and Brendan and I are instantly by his side. Just east of him sits the hut, facing us, as if it's been watching.
"No doubt," Brendan whispers, his voice close my ear, "it's following us."
"But why?" I ask, keeping my attention on the house. It shifts again, scooting over to the left, as if it needed a better view of us. I expect it to turn and run, but it doesn't. I come to a decision before I even realize I do.
"We need to get inside."
"What?"
"Are you crazy?"
Brendan and Maxwell exclaim simultaneously. Smiling to myself, I move forward, treading carefully. I don't go far before Brendan's hand is on my arm.
"Are you actually out of your mind?" he hisses, glancing at the house then back at me. I must look deranged, grinning while walking into danger. "Please tell me you remember who that house belongs to."
"Baba Yaga. I got it. But,"
"No buts. I don't know why she hasn't tried anything yet, but she's one of the most cunning and evil creatures in this land. If she's following us, that means she's planning something."
"Or she wants to talk."
They stare at me as if I've truly lost my mind, but I'm not backing down. Something about that house is calling to me and I'm not about to ignore that. It does put me in a precocious position, because I'm not ready to tell them my secrets yet. I have to find a way to spin this in a way that doesn't require too many questions.
"There's a reason why we're being followed," I begin, speaking quickly but firmly, "And I don't want that reason to turn into an ambush when we're about to get to Jemma. Also, who’s to say she’s with the Glava? If I remember correctly, Baba Yaga doesn’t play well with others. Either way, if we can neutralize this situation now, than that's what we'll do." There's a ring of command in my voice, and they don't miss it. When it comes down to it, if pulling rank is the only way to get things done, then that's what I'll do. But if I'm being honest, I don't mind it so much. I earned my position and Brendan is a soldier. He won't hesitate to follow my orders and Maxwell will follow my lead. I don't need them to like me right now, I need them to do what I say.
"How do you want to do this?" Brendan asks, and I feel better instantly. When I meet his eyes, I see that he's just as curious as I am and he trusts me not to get us killed. Now, I just need to make sure I can live up to that.
"We split up. I come from the front, you two flank on both sides. I don't think it'll run again if it seems me coming. But if it does, we have a backup."
With a firm nod, the boys set off in opposite directions. I give them time to get into position before I stand up straighter and walk into the full view of the house. The moment I'm in sight the house seems to grow in size, standing taller. It doesn't seem to be getting ready to bolt, but I'm not taking chances here. Placing my hands out in front of me to show that I'm no danger to it, I start to walk forward. The house shudders again, but it doesn't move. It seems to take forever for me to make it five feet in front of me. Stopping ever so often, I’m waiting for it to run, but it stays put. When I’m finally about ten feet away, I stop, studying it carefully.
Up close, it doesn’t look like much. The walls are made up off stacked wood, the windows are covered with a sort of film, that I’m not sure is dust or something else. The roof is pointed toward the sky, and there is a chimney sticking out of the right side of it. The legs the house is resting on are definitely chicken legs, yellow and dirty from all the running around.
"Hello?" I call out, trying to see inside, but the windows are blackened from the inside. When nothing happens, I take another step forward and try again, "You seem to be looking for me? Calista."
The moment I say my name, something happens. The house stretches up, shaking itself as if it's waking up, and then the front door opens. I don't see anything on the inside, but I don't hesitate. Taking a deep breath, I hoist myself up and I step inside.
It's dark inside and I wait for my eyes to adjust, but they don't. It's the kind of darkness that's a heavy blanket, a majykal heavy blanket that blocks everything out. Opening my palm, I flare up a small glow and the moment my majyk comes alive, so does the house. The darkness is sucked out as if by a vacuum and then I am standing in a spacious room. Turning on my heel, I do a quick scan of my surroundings, expecting Baba Yaga to jump out at me, but I'm alone. Before I can investigate any farther, I hear my name being called. The house shudders, as if it's getting ready to run, and I act on instinct.
"No, stay!" I command, and surprisingly it listens. It settles into a content state, and once again I glance around to see if maybe she is in here, playing tricks on me. But no, I'm still alone and the house...it seems to be listening to me.
I hear my name called out again, this time much closer, and my instincts kick into action. I need answers and I can't exactly be asking questions with Brendan and Maxwell present. My surrounding reveals nothing obvious, so I follow the logic of a sentient house which just heeded my words.
"Why am I allowed in here?" I ask, not sure what I'm expecting. But nothing happens, so I try again. "Why is the house listening to me? Why was it following me? Why were you following me?"
Still nothing.
Any second now, the guys will be here and if I'm to get anywhere, I need answers now. The majyk within me rises up at my frustration, dancing at the tips of my fingertips.
"Answer me!" I snap, my majyk fueling my words and this time, the house answers. Smoke billows from seemingly every direction, wrapping itself around my body like a snake. Before I can decide what to do, a voice reaches out to me. I spin around again, trying to pinpoint the source of it, but I'm still alone in the room and it’s coming from all around me.
"Dorogiya moya, volshebnitsia. Slushai golos moi,"
The voice is soothing, making its way over my skin and into my very being. The automatic majykal switch seems to flip on and the unfamiliar words begin to make sense. She speaks fast, one word on top of the other.
"Listen to my voice, the mistress of darkness. If he has come to you, it means that I am not there. The Masters have taken my power for their own. You must not run from you destiny, child. For the realms cannot be led by a false leader. The True Master must take the rightful place. The balance is in danger. The prophecy is knocking on the door. You must rise to your potential."
"I don't understand!" I call out.
"The house will protect you. The knowledge is there. It will lead past the barriers. I cannot help, for I am a prisoner. Don't be afraid of the power inside you, child. Don't be afraid of yourself."
With that, the smoke dissipates as if it were never there.
"No!" I yell, "Come back and tell me what to do. What does it mean?"
But it doesn't come back and I am greeted by nothing but the silence. Until I notice the pounding on the door.
"Cali! Cali, are you okay?" Brendan's voice sounds through the door and I come back to reality. I have to tell them. I need help and I cannot decipher the words on my own.
Terror fills my lungs as I consider what this may mean for us. They may never trust me again. Brendan may never stand by my side. But the more I think about keeping this a secret, the more the place where my heart used to be hurts. Brendan has never questioned me after our escape from Cornelius' torture cave. He trusted me to lead, like he's always done. I owe him and Maxwell for their loyalty.
Raising my c
hin a notch, I stand in the middle of the room and command, "Let them in!"
The door swings open without hesitation and I see Brendan and Maxwell on the threshold, weapons out as if they were planning on breaking down the door. The look of surprise on their faces is unmistakable, as they take me in.
"Come in," I say, "We have a lot to talk about."
6
Brendan rushes in, grabbing me by the shoulders and looking over my face as if his life depends on it. I try to keep my face neutral and reassuring at the same time, but I can't pretend with Brendan for long.
"Are you okay?" He asks, as Maxwell hosts himself up into the hut behind him.
"I'm okay." I reply, placing my hand on top of one of his for a second. Then, before I lose my nerve, I step out of his arms, taking a stance. Instantly, Brendan is on alert. The door shuts behind Maxwell, making the boys twist toward it.
"Crap!" Maxwell exclaims, grabbing for a handle, and not finding one.
"Stop," I say, as they ready to swing their swords at the door. The response to my command is instantaneous, and they both turn, still alert, but at the ready to hear what I have to say. "We're not prisoners here."
"What do you mean?" Maxwell asks, pointing at the door. "It just shut us in here."
Instead of replying, I take a deep breath and then say, "Open the door."
It swings open.
The boys stand frozen, staring at the now open door, before turning to me as one. The door closes behind them, but this time they don't notice, as they continue to stare at me.
"Cal?"
There's a million questions in just the sound of my name and I meet Brendan's eyes, hoping he understands. My whole body is humming with the truth and with what it can mean for us.
"Is it Znanye?" he asks carefully and just like that, I find a way around the truth.
"Yes." I reply.
The boys exchange a look, but they don't say anything else, waiting for me to continue.
