Little did Alfie know, his latest text had just helped me make up my mind. I would leave in the middle of the night while everybody was asleep and take Luca with me. I knew that was the coward’s way out, but I couldn’t face the alternative. I needed to attempt to get back to Spain. If I could make it to our apartment, I could get hold of the cash I’d hidden from Nathan. I knew from previous experience that I might not be able to trust him with the money. That amount of cash would be too much of a temptation. He wouldn’t be able to resist spending it. Although he was trying his best, his gambling habit was too deep-seated to give up overnight. I was glad I’d trusted my instincts now. The fact that I had a large sum of money stashed away was another secret I was keeping from my husband. But I didn’t feel guilty about that one.
Once I got my hands on the money, I could take Luca to a safer location. Returning to our apartment was risky because Nathan would probably check there when he realised that I’d gone. But if I just stayed long enough to pack our things it should be OK.
‘You go up to bed. I’m going to feed Luca, and then I’ll follow you up.’ I said before throwing my arms around my husband’s neck and giving him a lingering kiss. Knowing this might be the last time I got to touch his soft lips made sadness well up inside me, and I had to hold back my tears.
As Nathan held me in his strong arms, I rested my face against his chest. ‘Don’t be too long,’ he said, planting a kiss on the top of my head before walking out the door.
While I watched my husband climb the stairs, I felt my heart breaking. Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t bear to think about losing the love of my life. I didn’t want to leave Nathan, but at the moment staying with him was out of the question. When we’d decided to put our problems behind us and give our marriage another go, we promised ourselves we’d never take each other for granted again. Almost splitting up had taught us that valuable lesson.
It was hard living a double life. I hated lying to Nathan. Because of a moment of madness, when I’d had a drunken one-night stand with Alfie, we were now living a lie. I’d made a stupid mistake cheating on my husband, and I was about to pay the ultimate price. By taking the path of least resistance, I’d destroyed my relationship. My only option was to get away from here. I knew that was the right decision.
I had no intention of joining Nathan upstairs. It would be easier to slip out of the house unnoticed if I stayed down here. But I couldn’t resist seeing my husband one last time. With a heavy heart, I climbed the stairs and pushed the bedroom door open. I could see Nathan’s dark eyelashes fluttering as he slept. As I watched him, I felt like someone had knifed me in the stomach. The pain was too intense, so I turned and walked back down the stairs. This was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do.
I returned to the living room deep in thought. As I walked, I considered leaving Nathan a note, but I didn’t know what to write. Maybe I should send a text. I didn’t want him to worry, but as I held my phone in my hand, I couldn’t bring myself to press the keys. I was behaving like a coward, running away, so that I didn’t have to face up to the consequences, but I couldn’t be the one to break the news to him. He would never forgive me, and the thought of that was more than I could bear.
This seemed like the best option. Alfie’s ultimatum had backed me into a corner, and this was the easiest way out, well, for me anyway. Taking my son with me, I walked out the front door and got into our Jeep.
*
It was just after four o’clock in the morning, so I had plenty of time to catch the 08:45 ferry from Portsmouth to Santander. I’d been up all night, but I didn’t feel tired. My mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour. If I wanted to protect Luca from Alfie, I had to get as far away from London as possible.
I sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. I was scared to leave, but there was no going back. I’d made my decision, and now I had to go through with it. I would take care of Luca myself and build a new life for us. I didn’t need to depend on a man. Plenty of women were single parents and if they could do it, so could I.
I started the engine before I had time to talk myself out of it. The roads were virtually deserted at this unearthly hour of the morning, and I made it to Portsmouth in good time for the ferry to Santander. As I waited in the queue to board, I felt an ache in my heart and wondered if Nathan had realised I’d gone yet, but then I put the thought out of my mind. There was no point dwelling on it. It wasn’t going to change anything.
64
Nathan
As the early morning sunlight filtered into the bedroom, I rolled over and stretched my hand over Gemma’s side of the bed. Finding it empty, I opened my eyes and looked around the room. Luca’s quilted cradle was also empty. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. I presumed that Gemma was feeding the baby and had taken him downstairs like she sometimes did, so as not to disturb the rest of the household.
Several hours later, when I woke again, I was surprised to see Gemma and Luca weren’t back in the room. Throwing back the quilt, I swung my legs out of bed. Sitting on the edge, I reached over and picked up my iPhone to check the time. It was just after eight. I threw on some tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt that I’d left on a chair at the far side of the bedroom.
I yawned as I walked down the stairs. First, I looked in the living room. It was empty, so I walked down the hall towards the kitchen. I was surprised to find nobody in there either, but then I realised that Luca’s pram was missing. Gemma must have taken him out somewhere. I put the kettle on and made myself a cup of instant coffee. While I was drinking it, I sent Gemma a text message.
You’re up early
When Gemma hadn’t replied ten minutes later, I started to get worried, so I sent her another message.
Where are you?
When more time had passed, and there was still no reply, I started pacing backwards and forwards in the living room, peering out the window at the empty street. I dialled Gemma’s number, and it went straight to her voicemail. A sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach told me something was wrong. I ran out of the room and started calling to my dad as I climbed the stairs two at a time.
Dad stood in the doorway of his bedroom in his boxer shorts. He was in good shape for a man of his age and had a lean, toned physique. Due to his lack of clothing, the dressing on his leg was clearly visible. It was now surrounded by a colourful bruise that covered half of his thigh.
‘What’s wrong, Nathan?’ Dad asked as he ran his fingers through his greying hair.
‘Gemma and Luca have gone.’
Dad could see by the look on my face, that I was worried sick. ‘Have you tried calling her?’
‘Yes, but her phone goes straight to voicemail. I’ve texted her twice, and she hasn’t replied. Something’s wrong, Dad, I know it.’ I turned on my heel and paced along the hallway to my bedroom. My intuition was telling me Gemma was in trouble. ‘That fucking bastard must have taken them again. I’m going after them,’ I called over my shoulder.
‘Let me just throw some clothes on, and I’ll come with you,’ Dad replied.
I was looking out of the living room window when my dad came down the stairs. ‘The Jeep’s gone. Why would Alfie take our car?’
Dad shook his head. ‘Who knows. We can take my car, but you’ll have to drive.’
A few moments later, we left the terraced house and got into Dad’s Blue Ford Mondeo. I put my foot to the floor and sped off in the direction of Darkwood Manor.
‘How did Alfie get into the house in the middle of the night and take Gemma and Luca without waking us?’ I briefly took my eyes off the road and glanced at my dad.
‘I have no idea,’ Dad replied.
*
I stopped the car outside the wrought-iron gates, jumped out, and ran across to the intercom. I pressed the call button on the control panel above and waited for a response. Jethro’s housekeeper answered the buzzer. She told me to wait a moment while she went to fi
nd Mr Watson.
When the gates started to open, I got back in the Mondeo, and with gravel spraying from the tyres, I made my way along the drive. Jethro, Alfie and Knuckles were waiting for us at the bottom of the steps when the car came to a stop.
I jumped out of the driver’s seat and squared up to Alfie. ‘Where are Gemma and Luca?’ I could feel my nostrils flaring like a racehorse’s as I waited for a reply.
A look of confusion spread over Alfie’s face as the reality of my words began to register. He clenched his jaw before he spoke. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Do you seriously expect me to believe that? What have you done with them, you bastard? You better not have hurt them.’ I prodded Alfie in the chest with my fingers.
Knuckles grabbed my arm and twisted it back behind my body, holding me in an arm lock. I yelled out in pain, but Knuckles didn’t release me until Alfie gave his bodyguard the nod.
‘Don’t ever put your fucking hands on me again or you’re a dead man.’ Alfie dusted off my invisible fingerprints from his suit jacket with his hand before smoothing down his slicked-back hair.
‘Tell me where my wife and son are!’ I didn’t try to hide the fury in my voice.
Alfie put his hands in the pockets of his suit trousers and glared at me. ‘Why did you think Gemma and Luca were here?’
Now it was my turn to look bewildered. If Gemma and Luca weren’t with Alfie, where were they?
After the apathetic welcome Dad and I had received, Alfie suddenly changed at the flick of a switch. He was about to erupt; you could literally see the steam coming out of his ears as the enormity of the situation hit him like a freight train. Alfie turned on his heel and strode up the stone stairs two at a time. He burst through the double front doors, crossed the polished white marble hallway and turned into the living room. The sound of his leather shoes changed pitch when he paced across the solid wood floor. He opened up a set of double doors at the far side of the room and walked into the miniature pub. Alfie stepped behind the wood-panelled counter, reached up and lifted down a cut-glass tumbler from a shelf next to the hanging rack. He poured himself a huge measure of Jack Daniel’s and gulped it down in a couple of swallows.
He was holding on to the bar with both hands having placed the tumbler on the counter in front of him when Dad and I entered the oak-beamed room. While Alfie considered his next move, he poured himself another drink. We stood in the doorway watching him.
‘What are you two gawping at? You look like Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Go home, Nathan. I already told you they’re not here.’
I was fuming at the way he’d spoken to me, but I could tell from Alfie’s reaction that he was telling me the truth. Getting into a fight with him wasn’t going to bring Gemma back. After exchanging a glance with my dad, the two of us headed back out of the door. Staying here was wasting precious time.
65
Gemma
When I glanced up and saw a tall, blond man dressed in a suit walking towards me as I tried to open my cabin door, my heartbeat started pounding.
‘Would you like some help? You look like you’ve got your hands full,’ he said as he got closer.
I held Luca’s carrycot in the crook of my arm as I wrestled with the door. ‘No, thank you, I’m fine,’ I replied, turning my back on him, and to my relief, I felt the lock release.
As I stepped inside my cabin, I stole a glance at the man in the corridor. I couldn’t believe I’d thought he was Alfie. The man bore no similarity to him at all, apart from the fact that he was tall, blond and dressed in a suit.
What the hell had happened to me? I was a nervous wreck, and my emotions were out of control. I didn’t like feeling like this, but there didn’t seem to be anything I could do about it. I was stuck in a rut, and an overwhelming feeling of anxiety was smothering me. I was like an empty shell, and I didn’t like the person I’d become. It was as if the life had been sucked out of me. All that was left behind was a vacuum. I couldn’t go on like this. Something had to change. I needed to find the strong woman who was trapped somewhere within me. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, frightened of my own shadow.
It wasn’t acceptable that fear constantly plagued my mind. It was a basic human entitlement to feel safe and secure. I had Alfie to thank for that. I was a bundle of nerves, and wouldn’t be surprised if I was on the verge of a breakdown. The overwhelming feeling of paranoia undermined any rational thoughts I had and influenced every aspect of my decision-making.
Alfie was doing his best to come between Nathan and I. His presence was a constant reminder that I’d been unfaithful to my husband. It was bad enough for me; I could only imagine what Nathan felt about the situation. He hadn’t mentioned anything to me, but Nathan had a habit of bottling up his feelings, so I was pretty sure it would be bothering him.
Carrying the incredible burden of guilt for all this time had taken its toll on me. I’d found myself in a dark place and knew I had a desperate battle on my hands if I wanted to regain my sense of emotional balance. But even now that I’d left London, my mind was still troubled. I was terrified, especially of strangers. That poor man was only trying to help me with the door, and I’d treated him like he was an axe murderer. I felt agitated and was being eaten up by guilty thoughts.
I was stuck on this roller-coaster ride. Every time I closed my eyes, I’d experience terrifying nightmares that Alfie was going to take Luca away, so now I was frightened to go to sleep. It was a vicious circle.
After that moment of sheer terror earlier, when I’d thought Alfie was in the corridor, I’d settled down for the night. Surprisingly, I managed to drop off on the twenty-four-hour journey and woke feeling refreshed for the first time in ages. Being in the confines of a small cabin in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by water, far away from dry land, had obviously agreed with me. I’d felt safe in the knowledge that Alfie wasn’t going to burst through the door unannounced. Luca and I had made it onto the ferry. This was our first step towards freedom, and it felt good.
When we disembarked, I realised the next leg of the journey would be the worst, and I would have to be prepared to make as many stops as necessary. I couldn’t expect Luca to be cooped up in the car for eleven hours straight. I’d drive while he was sleeping and take breaks when he was awake. I didn’t care how long the journey took. I’d use the time constructively and decide where we could go so that Alfie wouldn’t find us.
An idea suddenly came to me. Gibraltar seemed like the obvious choice. It was just a stone’s throw from the Costa del Sol; you could see it from the coastline on a clear day, so the journey wouldn’t be too much for Luca to cope with. Being a British Overseas Territory, it would be like home from home and a good place to bring up my son; I’d heard violence and street crime were very rare. Nathan and I had always intended to visit, but so much had happened since we’d moved to Spain we hadn’t got around to it.
Finally, we reached the centre of Marbella, and my mood instantly lifted. I felt like I’d come home. I’d missed the smell of the sea and the sound of the gently swaying palm trees. The Golden Mile stretched out before me. I cruised along the coast road past the stunning beachfront villas and the pine forests before arriving at Puerto Banús, the Costa del Sol’s playground for the rich and famous. The luxury yachting marina, famous for its nightlife, was still a hive of activity, even in the early hours of the morning. Fantastically chaotic, the bustling marina was a very welcome onslaught to my senses. It made me feel safe, not intimidated. Alfie’s reappearance in my life had left me feeling traumatised, and I’d begun to think there was no safe place to go. I was so glad I’d come back now.
Nathan and I had been so happy here. We’d been making a fresh start and trying to put our troubled marriage behind us. We’d integrated into the community with ease, blending in with the other ex-pats while hiding out in our penthouse apartment in a large residential estate. I didn’t feel exposed here hidden behind the gat
es with twenty-four-hour security and CCTV cameras, which for once, weren’t watching me.
I couldn’t help wishing Alfie hadn’t made a reappearance in our lives. But there was no point dwelling on it; it didn’t help matters. I had to focus on the future. Things were different now. I had Luca to think of, and his wellbeing must come first. I had to admit the prospect of being a single mother terrified me, but Rosa had done it, and so could I.
I was scared of the future, but now I was away from England, I felt mentally in a better place. I was sure I’d be able to learn to adapt to my new situation and cope with everyday stress. I had to focus on all the good things in my life. I had so much to be happy about. I finally recognised I needed to change the way I was thinking to ensure I stayed in control of my emotions. I was an independent woman, and I could handle the challenge that life had thrown me.
Now that I’d broken free of Alfie, it was time to banish the flashbacks and anxious thoughts that flooded my mind. They were a destructive force and suppressed any optimism I tried to muster. My negativity had been holding me down for too long. I needed to harness the power of positive thinking and be confident in the fact that it didn’t matter how long it took, I could get my life back on track now that Alfie wasn’t breathing down my neck.
66
Alfie
Fury rose up inside me as I came to terms with the news. Gemma had double-crossed me again. I couldn’t believe she’d succeeded in taking my son away. Much as I loved her, the woman was making a fool of me. Now that Nathan had taken himself off, I could get down to the serious business of finding Gemma and Luca. I had to get to them before her pathetic husband did.
Zamir and his men had a lot to answer for. The beef between the Russians and the Albanians was taking up most of my valuable time. I seemed to spend every waking minute in that scabby warehouse these days. That was why I’d allowed Gemma to remain at Gareth’s house for the last couple of days. I wanted her to think I was giving her and Nathan some space, but that was bollocks. I needed her out of the way so that I could make my presence felt in case Zamir considered going back on his word.
Tangled Lives Page 19
