I’d hate to be in Geno Sanfratello’s shoes after my father finished with him. Lorenzo sealed his own father’s fate when he disappeared like a weakling.
“I’ll gather the troops for a sit-down tonight.” Uncle Leo turned to face me, his expression more serious than I’d ever seen on him. “You make amends for what you did to Jillian, Damon. Direct your loathing at the Sanfratellos for putting Jillian and you in this predicament in the first place, but you have to work this out with her.
“Your mother—she’s not happy. Your aunt Maria—she said she’s not speaking to you, so I had to smooth things over with her on your behalf. I promised her, Damon. I promised my wife you would fix this mess and bring Jillian back into the family. You know I don’t make promises lightly, and I don’t break them, especially when they’re to my wife.”
Uncle Leo gave me an out with Aunt Maria, putting most of the blame on Lorenzo, but that wouldn’t work for me. I had no delusions of whose fault Jillian’s leaving was. That was all on me. But Uncle Leo was right, I had to fix that little problem, at any cost.
My first order had to be protecting Jillian and putting an end to any threat Lorenzo posed against her. While my crew in New York and I searched every possible hiding hole, other family men would comb the area around Jillian’s house, watching her every move to thwart any potential attack. Intrusive surveillance means would have to be put in place to protect her, and I’d catch hell when she found out, no doubt. But her safety was worth whatever tongue-lashing she had for me later.
I left my parents that night with a heavy weight on my chest. The maddening premonition that I wouldn’t reach her in time lingered in my mind, making it damn near impossible to focus. When I took a mental step back and asked myself how I’d approach this if my heart weren’t involved—a novel concept I’d never had to consider before—my path became clearer.
I’d burn the fucking city down until I got my man.
Flick my Bic…I was ready to start a wildfire.
* * *
“You have no reason to stick around,” Jillian yelled.
She placed her hands on my chest and tried to push me toward the door. But I didn’t let her move me out of the way that time. She got away with it at the doctor’s office simply because I allowed her to get in her car. But after I walked inside her house, there was no way I’d simply let her push me out of her life. Too much was at stake, and I had to make her see I understood that now. I knew where I fucked up, and I was willing to pay my penance in any way she wanted.
“No, doll.” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against my chest. “You’re not pushing me aside. Not this time. Not ever again. Even if you weren’t pregnant with my baby, I’d have every reason to stay. Because I want to be right here with you.”
She was torn between what she should do and what she wanted to do. Part of her craved my touch, urging her to relent and melt into my embrace. The strong, independent part of her needed to stand her ground, wanting the upper hand after the way we parted. I understood both sides of her personality all too well.
“Damon, what you did—keeping my mother’s death from me when you knew how much she meant to me… I just can’t forgive that.”
“Doll, that night, I got a text from my dad at the same time you got the text. When he told me before I was discharged from the hospital, he asked me not to say anything to you until he was absolutely positive it was her. Just because they claimed to have gotten to your mom didn’t mean it was true. Yes, we had reason to believe they were telling the truth, but we didn’t know for certain. I couldn’t take the chance of telling you what we thought but hadn’t verified.
“Lorenzo was setting a trap for you—he wanted you to rush in and try to save the day. He’d planned to have you both killed that night. That’s why her sitter was kept alive, so she could talk to you and tell you that story about your mom going to the doctor. They thought once you found out she’d fallen, you’d fly home right away no matter what the sitter said.
“I wasn’t even supposed to tell you when I did, but I couldn’t keep it from you any longer. Even after you tried to kill me in my sleep.”
“I didn’t try to kill you, and you weren’t even asleep!”
I smiled, knowing that would be her response. But at least she was still talking to me. “I know, doll. What I’m trying to tell you is there are family rules that just aren’t broken. No one simply ignores a direct order from my father without a damn good reason, and even then, there’s no way to know how he’d react. I can count on one finger how many times I’ve gone against his wishes as an adult, and that one time was for you. I broke so many of my own rules for you, it’s not even fucking funny. There’s only one reason why I’d even think about defying him, and that’s because I love you, Jillian.”
She shook her head and dropped her eyes to my chest. Then she stepped out of my arms, and I knew the opposing feelings tore her apart inside like a civil war. “I can’t, Damon. You hurt me so badly. The past three months without you have been pure hell, but I somehow survived. Day by day, I grew a little stronger, and so did my resolve to get over you. But now I have even more reason to protect myself from you—to protect my baby from you.”
“You don’t need to be protected from me any more than our baby does. I’m sorry for everything, Jillian. For hurting you, for not trusting you, for not listening to my gut when it screamed at me for doubting you in the first place. Most of all, I’m sorry I couldn’t get to your mom in time to save her, and for not being able to tell you about our suspicions. Doll, I promise I’ll never hurt you again. When a Marchetti makes a promise, it’s for life. Especially if it’s to the one we love. I hate that I’ve put this between us, but I’ll prove how much I love you over time.”
Jillian looked up at me, a sweet but slightly sad smile on her beautiful face. “That was a very moving speech, Damon. I’m sure you rehearsed it for a long time to get it just right. I’ll bet that same declaration of love and promises would make any other woman drop to her knees and worship at your feet. Too bad it doesn’t work on me.
“Now, you’re trespassing in my house, and I’ve tolerated your intrusion far too long. Get. The. Fuck. Out. If you ever barge into my house uninvited again, I will have your ass arrested. I’m very good friends with the chief of police in this little town, and he’d be all too interested to hear everything I know about you.”
“All right, doll. I’ll go for now, but only because you’re upset, and I don’t want to make it even worse by staying longer. But I’m warning you, Jillian, don’t think we are anywhere in the neighborhood of being over. I’ll be back tomorrow so we can spend the day together. Until tomorrow, my love.”
She opened the front door and shot me a look that dared me to defy her. Fuck me if I didn’t walk out with a hard-on the size of the fucking Chrysler Building after the way she manhandled me. The things I’d love to do to that sassy Southern mouth of hers.
She may have kicked me out of her house, but I wasn’t going anywhere. Nothing in New York held sway over me the way she did. And as long as she was out in the open, she was vulnerable to Lorenzo and his thirst for revenge and dominance in our world. And, as long as she wasn’t by my side, he would wait in the wings for his chance at retribution.
Since the moment I learned she was pregnant, I hadn’t been able to wipe the smile off my face. I knew I had my work cut out for me to convince her to forgive me, to remind her she loved me, and to show her how much I loved her, too. But giving up wasn’t in the Marchetti DNA. Losing her wasn’t an option. And allowing her to get rid of me wasn’t in the cards.
Her warning still stood the same as the day I first issued it. Once she entered my world, there was no leaving it. That was one rule I’d willingly abide by…and also hold her to.
2
CHAPTER TWO
Jillian
A fter I locked the door behind him, I plopped down on the couch and stared blankly at the small soft-sided cooler designed to carry
the baby bottles, part of my gift bag from the doctor’s office. Realization hit me like a runaway Mack truck. My baby would be a Marchetti, and there was no way I could keep Damon’s family from being involved in our lives. I hadn’t even had time to process my condition before I had to face the fact that Damon would be a hands-on father.
Even if I never wanted to see him again, that wouldn’t work in the grand scheme of parenting a child. I would keep the baby, no doubt about that. After losing my mother, being pregnant made me feel a strong connection to her again. My heart was shattered over knowing she wouldn’t be there to answer all my questions, to help me after the baby was born, to tell me how to keep my sanity when I’d been up for seventy-three hours straight. But after having my mom and dad in my life every step of the way, I couldn’t imagine locking Damon out of our baby’s life.
The sacrifices parents made for their kids was already becoming a reality for me. I had to rise above my intense dislike of Damon for the sake of my child. I reasoned with the conflict brewing inside me. I didn’t have to like him to be cordial to him. I could pretend to be on a friendly level with him so my child would never be caught in the middle of our adult squabbles.
But I would never trust him with my heart again.
His carefully rehearsed speech was meant to thaw my heart and melt my panties. He was quite the charmer, I’d give him that. But I saw the real nature of the mafia man behind the façade, the man who’d known what predicament I was in and chose to add to my pain rather than help me. Seeing that side of him altered something in me—and not for the better.
My positive outlook on life changed and was replaced by cynicism and suspicion. I didn’t want to be that person, but circumstances created the new me. I’d always wondered if people could really change or if that was just a hopeless romantic’s wish. The answer came to me in a way I never wanted. People could change, but only under immense pain and pressure. At least, that was true in my case, and it made me question if I could be the Jillian my mom knew ever again.
“Three months!” I yelled, my hurt and anger bubbling over the surface the longer I thought about it. “Not one fucking word for three goddamn months. Then all of a sudden, he shows up here out of the blue. And declaring his love for me is supposed to fix everything? It’s supposed to make it all go away, and we’ll live happily ever after now? Fuck. No. Fuck him.”
I stomped around my house, and the urge to throw something and break it into a million pieces was strong. But I stopped short of doing it, knowing I’d be the one who had to clean up the mess. I paused in my rant and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes and replaying the encounter again.
“What would he have to gain by telling me he loves me now? What’s his game?” I asked myself aloud. “It’s a little late to suddenly realize he loves me and can’t live without me. He must have a different reason.”
Three months ago, when I was in his bed and in his arms, I wouldn’t have questioned it. Even though our relationship was still new and most everyone I knew would’ve considered it too fast, I would’ve run with it. But I was naïve and foolish, thinking he actually cared for me. I fell in love with him. I fell in love with his charm. I fell in love with his family. But he left me with nothing to show for it.
Well, not nothing. He left me with our baby…and a lifetime of being connected to a man who killed any hope I had of finding a lifelong love like my parents had.
I scooped up the cache on the couch and began putting the items away. Thoughts of decorating a nursery soon crowded out the thoughts of Damon and his unwelcome intrusion, and I started to feel happy again. With my laptop powered up, the first site I checked was Pinterest, where I could borrow from the creativity of others and still make it my own. Lost in the world of the interwebs, time slipped away faster than I realized, and soon it was past my bedtime.
When I slid between the covers, visions of Damon’s face floated through my dreams. All night, my mind vacillated between reliving the most mind-blowing sex I’d ever known, to the greatest betrayal I’d ever felt. By the time the morning sun rose, I was even more tired than I’d been when I’d gone to bed. After a hot shower and a quick breakfast, I powered up my laptop and left my pathetic love life behind while I focused on work.
When the clock showed it was early afternoon, I took a break from creating a project plan for my new assignment so I could go through various sites for newborn nursery ideas. It was quickly becoming my new obsession. The need to create a happy, vibrant world for my baby was strong—one that was nothing like the real world I lived in.
The chimes from my doorbell stopped the creation of my dream nursery board cold. With my body motionless, my eyes flitted up to the door, and my heart skipped a beat from knowing who stood on the other side.
“I am so stupid,” I mumbled to myself. “Why would I even be excited to see him again?” Because I loved looking at the man, that was why. He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen anywhere—in person, on the screen, in a magazine. And, even after all we’d been through and despite how ridiculous it sounded, my stupid heart wanted to believe him. “I’ve been staring at pictures of gorgeous nurseries and the smiling faces of happy families way too long. I’m losing my damn mind.”
I closed the lid of my laptop a little too forcefully as I stood then walked toward the front door. “Who is it?”
“It’s Benny, Jillian. You can open the door—the coast is clear.”
Damon wasn’t the type of man who needed to send his right-hand man to speak for him, so I decided to let Benny in and find out what he wanted. When I opened the door, the aroma from the enormous bag of food he carried hit my senses all at once, and I nearly knocked him down when I tried to take it from his hands. Though he didn’t let me. I was sure Damon gave Benny strict instructions not to allow me to carry my food to the kitchen myself.
Everything smelled so good. There was only one person I knew who could cook like that.
“Mama Lina is here too?” I asked Benny, stepping to the side to let him in. For the food.
“She is. She wants to see you so you two can talk in person, but she doesn’t want to intrude if you don’t want her here.” Benny placed the food on the table and turned toward me, the unspoken question in his eyes.
“I see Damon is pulling out the big guns.” I crossed my arms over my chest and arched one eyebrow at Benny.
He rubbed the back of his neck, cocked his head to the side, and an uncomfortable expression crossed his face. “Damon doesn’t know she’s here.”
“What?” My arms dropped to my sides in my disbelief.
“Yeah. I’m between a rock and fucking hard place here, Jillian. On one hand, Damon will have my nutsac for keeping this from him, but I have strict orders from Vincenzo himself. Not to mention my orders from Lina. Maybe I need to take an early retirement when this assignment is over.”
“How do you win in that scenario?”
He shrugged. “Just do my best to make sure nothing goes wrong and keep my mouth shut about everything I know. When things go right, there are fewer questions to answer, less of a chance I’ll be put on the spot.”
“But if you had to choose one person’s orders to follow, whose would it be?”
“Vincenzo’s. Hands down, sweetheart. He’s the boss. I don’t question the boss about anything. No one in the family does and lives to tell about it. You’ve seen how even his grown kids don’t argue with him. They all know the drill. Damon wouldn’t be happy about it at first, but he’d understand and support me in the end. He knows the family rules better than anyone.”
My willpower waned, and I opened the bag, pulling out dish after dish of food Mama Lina sent over. Her generosity touched me, and I knew I had to speak with her. “Tell Mama Lina she’s welcome to come over anytime. I’d love to see her.”
“She’s waiting out in the car. Is now a good time?”
I was surprised, though I really shouldn’t have been. “Now’s a good time. Tell her to come inside and
have dinner with me.”
Benny smiled, and I was fairly certain I’d just been played, then he rushed outside to escort her in. But no matter. I had questions that needed answers, and something told me Mama Lina was more likely than anyone else to shoot straight with me.
“My sweet girl, I’ve missed you. How are you? Have you been eating? I was so heartbroken to hear about your mama. What can I do to make it better for you?” Mama Lina grabbed me in a tight hug and squeezed a little tighter with each question she rattled off.
“I’m glad you’re here, Mama Lina. It’s good to see you. Sit down, let me fix you a plate of this delicious food that was just dropped off at my house.” I cut my eyes at her and laughed at her obviously proud smile.
After I grabbed the plates, silverware, and drinks, she jumped up from her seat and took over. “You sit, and I will take care of you. I enjoy being a mother. You will be a good mother too. I can tell.”
Did she know? Had Damon already told her?
“I hope you’re right. I feel a little lost now without my mother here to help me. It’s scary, thinking about bringing a newborn home alone.” I watched her closely and waited for my words to sink in.
She drove the fork deep into the dish of baked ziti with chicken to scoop out my helping, then froze. Her eyes met mine in an instant, then she stumbled trying to take the seat beside me. She reached out and placed the palm of her hand against my cheek, a myriad of emotions swimming in the same dark chocolate eyes her son had.
“Do you mean you’re…pregnant…right now?” She stammered her words, just barely above a whisper but filled with so much hope.
“Yes, I just went to the doctor yesterday morning to confirm it. I thought that’s why you were here—I thought Damon had already told you.”
“Damon knows?” She straightened her spine and pushed her shoulders back. The tough, take-charge Mama Lina was back.
Warning: The Complete Series (The Vault Book 4) Page 11
