by Rosa Swann
I’m about to get up and put Destin’s plate and things away, when the door opens, making me still. I nervously wait for Mia’s upbeat voice announcing her return, as she always does, but it doesn’t come.
Instead, after long tense seconds, she silently steps into the living room, her face troubled as she looks over to us in the kitchen. First, there’s a flash of disappointment when she looks at Destin, until her eyes fall on the plate next to him, the plate he very obviously ate from, and her face falls. She looks up at me and I squirm under her gaze.
Crap. I should have been faster cleaning them up. That was supposed to be my dinner... Mia left the tub with pasta and sauce in the fridge for me before she went out this evening, so that I could easily eat something. But I hadn’t yet, I wasn’t hungry, like most days lately. And it would have been a waste to just leave it, so it seemed like a good idea to give it to Destin instead.
Mia’s been on my case that I’m not eating enough, so... Yeah... Me having given my dinner to Destin, who she very much does not like at the moment, is not something she can appreciate. Crap.
“Hey, Destin.” Mia’s voice is forced light. “I thought I recognised the piece of junk in front of the apartment. I didn’t expect you to stay this late.” She comes over, her eyes on me hard, before they go to him. “I think you’ll have to leave soon, if you still need to drive home and have to get up early tomorrow morning for work.”
I swallow hard, biting on my lip as I try to keep the tears inside. Mia is not happy, and she’s right that he’ll have to leave soon, but I also don’t want Destin to leave, not now he’s finally here.
“I’ve got tomorrow off, so you don’t need to worry. I’m in no rush.” Destin’s voice is cold but I can feel his eyes on me, even when I avoid his gaze. Not the right answer, Destin, not the right answer...
“You can’t sleep here. I’m sure Seb has told you that already.” Mia’s voice is sharp and I almost take a step back from her, even though I’m sitting down.
I try to make myself as small as possible, looking down at the floor, hoping they can just fight without putting me so obviously in the middle of it. I don’t want to be in the middle, I don’t want this. Please, don’t make me do this...
“I don’t think you’re in charge of who sleeps here. Seb can decide that for himself, you don’t get to choose for him.” Destin stands up and then he’s behind me, his hand on my shoulder, holding me. Oh, no. This isn’t good.
“Seb.” I watch Mia’s feet as she takes a step back. “I’ve been keeping your secret because you promised me that you wouldn’t see him. If you let him stay then I’m telling my dads.”
Destin’s hand on my shoulder gets tighter. “No. You wouldn’t break Seb’s trust like that. You wouldn’t...”
“Try me.” Mia’s voice is sharp and she takes a few more steps back. “Seb, I expect that Destin leaves soon, or I’m telling my dads in the morning. This is up to you.” Then she turns around, storming off to her room, closing the door with a loud bang as tears start streaming down my cheeks. She’s right, she’s so right, but I don’t want to have to be apart from Destin again, not now he’s finally here.
“Who is she...” Destin growls and I carefully try to get out from under his hand. I don’t want him to be angry with her. She’s just following the rules, no matter how much I hate it.
One condition of us living here, free of cost, getting everything paid for us so that we can fully focus on our studies, is that we’re not allowed to have boyfriends or girlfriends sleep over. Our dads didn’t specifically specify it, but having mates stay over is going to be a definite no-no. So, while it would have been fine for Destin to stay over before, it no longer is, no matter how unfair it feels.
“She’s trying to protect me, trying to protect both of us, from making stupid choices and doing things we shouldn’t be doing.” I turn to him, looking up at him, at his sad eyes.
“I can’t just leave you here.” He shakes his head, his voice rough. “I can’t stay away from you. I can’t not talk to you. But every time I’m near you, I want you to be mine.” He starts picking at the scab on his hand again and I softly take them in my hands, trying to make him stop hurting himself, even if he doesn’t notice it.
“I am yours.” My voice is quiet, because I feel the exact same way. Even knowing that it’s just four years, that we promised each other to try to stay away from each other for four years, it doesn’t take the pain away. Four years feels like way too long. If I already feel like this after two weeks, what’s four years going to be like?
“Now I know that you’re my mate...” Destin’s voice drops and he looks at our hands, running his thumb over my hand. “I want different things from you, just talking to you is no longer enough, not that it ever really was.” He gives me a tight smile. “I need to have you with me. I need to be with you, near you, be able to touch you.”
“I want to be with you too. But I don’t see a way to make that work.”
“I know.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me close to him, kissing the side of my head. “I’ve been wracking my brain over how we can do this, see each other, be near each other, but not mate yet. But I’m coming up empty.” His arms tighten around me. “Please, let me stay, just for the night. Just until the morning... I need you.”
I swallow hard, my heart pounding. I need him too. “Mia is right, you can’t stay here. We’re not allowed to have boyfriends or girlfriends stay the night, and... And if you’re my mate, that means you can’t stay. Even if we wouldn’t have...” I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “Even if we’re not having sex or if you’ll sleep on the couch in the living room, we’re breaking the rules. I can’t do that, not on top of everything else.”
It feels silly, trying to stick to this rule even though we could easily shrug it off, pointing to the ridiculousness that he could stay here all he wanted a month ago, but now suddenly can’t. But I want to be able to tell my parents that I kept to their rules, that I’m still acting somewhat responsibly, even though I know I’m about to do something we really shouldn’t be doing.
Destin nods slowly, nuzzling the side of my head, his body tense, his arms around me tight. He really doesn’t want to let me go. “We can’t go to my place either. Maddy will be there, and the guys are too. I’m in no state to explain anything to them. And I might not have agreed to the same rules but I don’t want our siblings around when we’re still trying to figure things out.”
“Right.” I try to think quickly, but my mind is a blur. I’m exhausted, so exhausted. “What about a hotel or something?”
“A hotel?”
“Yeah. We can get a room in a hotel, or a B&B, or whatever. That way we can be together, but we’re not here, or at your place.” Yes! That makes sense. Getting a hotel makes a lot of sense. That could actually work.
Destin nods and I feel a small spark of hope. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Okay.” I carefully untangle from Destin. “You go downstairs, that will at least get Mia out of your hair. I’ll just grab a change of clothes and a few things and I’ll come join you.” He seems about to object, but I reach up, pulling him down slightly and give him a quick kiss. “I’ll be right down.” My cheeks flush slightly, this is our first kiss since that night in the orchard...
For the first time in weeks, I feel a spark of hope and I can’t let it go. No matter how angry Mia will get, or how bad of a plan this is. She has no idea how much pain I’ve been in. She has no idea how painful it has been to be away from Destin all that time. I need him. I need him so much. Going from talking every moment we have to not talking at all, just because we found out that we’re mates... It’s too much in one go.
If we just get a weekend together, a weekend where nobody will disturb us, we’ll be able to come up with a better plan, a plan that might actually work. If we work together, instead of trying to come up with plans separately, we should be able to make this work.
Chapter Three
>
Destin
My heart races as I’m waiting in the truck. Every few seconds, I have to stop myself from getting out of the car, because I want to go up to the apartment, grab Seb and take him with me.
Every few seconds, the thought that he told me to go ahead of him just to get rid of me shoots through me, and I have to physically stop myself from getting out and barging back up there. Telling me to go ahead of him is a great excuse to get me out of the apartment. Maybe he didn’t really want to see me, no matter how desperately he was holding onto me earlier.
After what feels like hours, but according to my phone is only a couple of minutes, Seb walks out of the front door of the apartment building, a bag slung over his shoulder.
He’s dressed differently. Earlier, he was wearing sweats and an old shirt. An old shirt of mine, if I remember correctly, but he liked it better, so before I could even wear it once, he’d already claimed it. Now, he’s wearing jeans, a thick hoodie and his leather jacket.
There’s an angry energy in his steps as he comes over and climbs in on the passenger side, dumping the bag at his feet. When he looks my way, his eyes are red and his jaw is set. I reach out to him, almost touching him, but he shakes his head quickly, his eyes blazing, then he looks to the end of the street, like he can’t wait to be out of here.
I look up to the apartment building and spot Mia standing in one of the windows of their apartment, a dark figure against the light. They must have gotten into another fight before he left. I hate that I’m the subject of their fight, that she’s angry with me over something that Seb and I have no real choice over.
I’m sorry Mia, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for putting Seb through this pain, I’m sorry for making you lie to your parents. I’ll make up for it, somehow, someday. I promise.
“Just go already.” Seb’s voice is harsh and he roughly puts his seatbelt on. “I just need to be away from here for a couple of days, away from her. I’m not going back home until the weekend is over. No fucking way.”
I nod quickly and turn the truck on, driving towards the closest main street. “Any particular direction?”
He shakes his head. “Just away.” He’s so angry that he’s shaking, his words short and choppy.
I have no idea what Mia said to him, but I rarely see him this upset. Sure, Mia would be especially against what we’re doing right now, that we’re taking this chance, because she knows well how wrong it could go.
When she was born, she was way too small and her daddy nearly didn’t survive the birth. He was way too weak after years of abuse from his first Alpha, who he married and mated right out of high school. When Seb’s dads found out about it, they took Mia’s daddy and her siblings with them, getting them out of the situation.
I understand that she might be scared that that could happen with us too, but she should also understand that if things go well between mates, that they can go really well. Her biological Omega father found another Omega he fell in love with and they both fell in love with an Alpha who has been amazing for all of them. She loves her new Alpha father, no, she adores him.
Then I remember the way Seb looked when I arrived at the apartment, how my heart hurt seeing him looking so bad, and maybe Mia isn’t just angry over our mating. If she’s been looking after him for weeks, and I, the source of Seb’s pain, suddenly show up and whisk him away with no regards for that. Yeah, I’d be pretty angry too.
I have to make things right this weekend. I have to make things right. I have to make sure that when I bring Seb back to the apartment, we’re in a much better place and he won’t revert to that depressed state again. Yes. That’s what I’m going to do, that’s what I have to do.
We’ve been driving for a while when Seb lets out a deep breath, seemingly having calmed down some. “If you find a spot, could you park?”
“Sure.” I look around, but it’s not that easy to find parking places in the city. In the end, we park in the parking place of a grocery store that’s closed for the night. When the car is quiet, I turn to Seb. “What do you want to do?”
He takes out his phone, tapping at a few things, and then he takes out his laptop, booting it. “Find us a place to sleep. While I know that the bed of the truck is big enough to sleep on, it’s way too cold right now, and it’s not like we can sleep in the back in the middle of the city.” He gives me a slight smile.
Last summer, we spent many nights sleeping in the back of the truck. It was way too hot in the house, so we slept outside. I’d park under the apple trees and we’d sleep under the cover of the leaves and the starry sky. It was awesome and definitely one of my best memories of last summer. We felt so free, sleeping out in the open like that. Almost like we were on holiday or something, in our own back yard.
“Is there a way we can... You know... Maybe stay somewhere that isn’t in the middle of the city?” He knows I’m not a city guy. Seb grew up in the city, he’s used to it, but I’ve always lived out in the countryside.
He nods, searching for a few things and then he pulls up a website. “There are a few places at the edge of the city, and a B&B in the next town over.”
I take a look at the page, but none of it tells me much. “You decide. You seem to know these things better than I do.”
He smiles slightly. “We’re lucky that it’s off-season right now, so there are loads of places where we can stay.” He checks the time. “Though not everyone will appreciate that we show up in the middle of the night.” He clicks around on his laptop a few more times. “Okay... Let me try this.”
I simply watch him. If you give Seb something to do, something to work for or work towards, he can push everything else away and only focus on that. He still looks like hell, but at least he seems to be more ‘here’, for however long that’s going to last. But it also worries me. I was in a bad place for the last two weeks, but he’s very obviously been in a much worse place... I can’t let him get back to that after the weekend.
Two phone calls and some cursing from Seb later, we’re driving onto the grounds of some holiday park. He puts a code into the box next to the gate and then navigates us through the park.
“It’s not much.” He shrugs as we stop in front of a small bungalow. “But it’s ours until Monday.”
I reach out, taking his hand in mine and I hold him tightly. “I don’t care. I just really want a bed right now.” At the way his eyes grow, I quickly keep going. “To sleep in. So we can sleep. Hell, if you want me to, I’ll even crash on the couch or in a different room. I just want to be sleeping in the same place as where you are, knowing that you’re nearby. That’s all. I just want to sleep knowing that you’re nearby.”
He nods and I don’t know if I’m imagining it or not, but it almost looks like he’s blushing, or it might be from the orange tinge from one of the streetlights nearby. “Of course, right. I also really would like to sleep.” He lets out a low chuckle, his body relaxing some. “Fuck. I’m exhausted.” He rubs his empty hand over his face and I feel like he might just fall asleep right here if we don’t start moving.
“Okay.” I nod, letting him go. “Let’s go inside.” I’ve been in my truck for long enough today.
I get out and stretch, waiting as Seb packs his bag again and then climbs out. He goes over to the door of the bungalow and puts a code into the little box near the door. Then he takes a set of keys out of the box and opens the door.
The bungalow smells stale, like nobody has been here in weeks, but I really don’t care. I turn the light on and we’re greeted with decor that’s even a little too ‘old school’ for me, everything a drab brown with orange and green elements.
“Not what I would choose, but we can’t be picky.” I close the door behind us and then take Seb in my arms. Just holding him is enough for now. Just holding him is enough to make me feel better.
That’s when his stomach loudly rumbles and when I look at him, he’s definitely blushing.
“Hungry?”
He nods slig
htly. “Maybe a little?”
“We drove past a fast-food place on our way here. It was still open, as far as I could see. I’ll get us something to eat, if you turn the heating on here, and open a few windows so we can actually breathe.” I lean closer, almost kissing him. But the moment I hesitate, he bridges the distance between our lips and kisses me hard, before pulling back, his eyes dark with something we really shouldn’t be exploring right now, at least not before he’s eaten something...
We’ve always been quite physical, always hugging, sitting close together, being near each other, but this kissing thing is new, something we still have to get used to. It feels so natural, to go from hugging to kissing, like it’s just another part of what we do, another part of who we are. I like that. I like that it feels so natural.
It also felt natural when we finally gave in to our feelings that night in the orchard. I was scared that it would be strange, that it would feel strange to kiss him. But it doesn’t. It feels so natural, and so right.
I lean to him again, giving him a soft kiss. “I’ll be right back.”
Then I leave the bungalow, which is just as cold as the outside world, and get back in my truck. No matter how much I wanted to leave the truck just minutes ago, it’s also a little scary to be in the bungalow. Not just because we’re hiding from our family or because nobody knows where we are, but because it feels so grown-up. Renting a bungalow for the weekend, to get time away, just the two of us. It feels grown-up, it feels like something that mated partners would do. And that makes me feel like I might be in over my head and I don’t like that.
Chapter Four
Seb
I look around the bungalow, the only thing I could get at a short notice that wasn’t too far away. It’s not very big, just a living room with the kitchen on one side and then a short hallway with two bedrooms and a bathroom where they even managed to squeeze in a tub.
