Quantum Cheeseburger

by Jeremy Michelson

  “Yeah, it’s not all business,” he said, “I shoulda never let us get so comfortable there. People like us shouldn’t ever try to hang on to good things.”

  “Why not?” I asked, “What’s anything worth doing if you can’t hang on to anything good?”

  The goon’s jaw worked. He didn’t answer.

  “We have a whole planet of things, good and bad,” I said, “It’s all we have. And I don’t know about you, but when this asshole says he’s going to kill everyone on my ball of dirt, I take it personally. Maybe it’s business to him. But not to me. It’s personal. And personally, I intend to do everything I can to stop that piece of shit.”

  The goon closed his eyes. His face was blank, unreadable. His fingers tapped on his rifle. I could almost see the gears turning in that thick head of his. I waited, wondering what side he was going to fall on. Julie was with the alien. I could sense that she was going to throw in with Bey Jodo. Through any and all means available, she had made herself valuable to the Don.

  To her, everything probably was just business. She was doing everything she could to assure her own survival, planet and everyone else be damned. She knew when this ship lifted off the ground, she’d be going with it. And staying with it. As long as she could keep Bey Jodo amused, anyway.

  The goon slapped his hand on the barrel of his rifle. He looked up at me, eyes filled with anger.

  "Damn you," he said, "You better actually have a plan."

  Seventy-One

  "Can you turn off this containment field?" I asked the goon. I waved my hand and the shimmering air in front of me hummed and crackled.

  The goon didn’t move from his seat on the metal boxes. The mostly empty hanger of Bey Jodo’s ship, softly lit with blue light, made him look tiny.

  “No,” he said, “Bey Jodo has the controls.”

  I pushed myself off the cold, metal wall and reached out to touch the field.

  “I wouldn’t–” the goon started to say.

  My fingers made contact. A crack and flash of white light. It threw me back against the wall, My head slammed on the metal. It rang like a bell. My head or the wall, I wasn’t sure which. I slid to the floor, lights dancing in front of my eyes.

  “–do that,” the goon said, “Thing’s got a nasty bite.”

  I shook my head. Tried to get my eyes to focus. I got to my feet, body crackling. Pain radiated down my arm and my fingers felt numb. Probably broke something.

  Even as I thought about it, I felt a tingling over the injured area. My little buddies were getting to work fixing me. How much of my store of energy would that take?

  Energy.

  I stepped closer to the field. The goon eyed me with an amused look. Clearly, he wasn't going to help me.

  Can you take the energy from this containment field? I asked my Dendon rider. Can you use it to charge my batteries instead of draining me dry?

  The ship trembled. A yellow light started flashing overhead.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  The goon shrugged. “My guess is Captain Tentacles is getting ready to lift off.”

  Crap. I paced back and forth. Well, stepped back and forth. There wasn’t room for pacing in the tiny containment field I was trapped in.

  “We have to stop him,” I said.

  The goon scratched at his chin. “Why’s that? You have some kind of plan?”

  “Not if this ship goes anywhere,” I said.

  A large part of my plan relied on the calvary riding in and taking care of Bey Jodo. I didn’t know what all General Mattany had left on his base, but I doubted he had any starships that could pursue a Don ship.

  “Can you stop it?” I asked the goon.

  "Why don't you stop it?" he asked back, "You're the one with the super alien whatsit."

  A voice sounded in the bay, speaking in an incomprehensible language. The trembling grew stronger. The metal plate under me vibrated.

  “Can’t you do something?” I said to the goon.

  He shook his head. “Not much point in doing anything unless you can get yourself out of that box there, chief.”

  I couldn’t wait around for someone to do things for me. I couldn’t wait for the calvary to arrive. I couldn’t wait for someone to tell me what I should be doing.

  I raised my hands to the shimmering wall of the containment field. “Okay,” I said to my Dendon passenger, “Now’s the time to do something.”

  I leaned forward against the field.

  Bright light. Thunder crack. Shock. Pain as I slammed against the back wall.

  “Yup, didn’t think that would work,” the goon said, “Looks like we’re stuck with ol’ tentacle head.”

  I stood back up, my body tingling. This whole situation was pissing me off. I turned to the metal wall behind me.

  Super strength.

  I pulled my hand back and punched the wall.

  A moment later I rolled on the floor, clutching my hand, moaning in agony. It felt like I’d broken every bone in my hand. After a couple minutes the pain subsided and I sat up.

  “Well, that didn’t work either, whatever you were doing there,” the goon said.

  I gave him a glare. He just smiled. Obviously, he was enjoying himself. But why weren't my superpowers working?

  You don’t need them now.

  I brought my head up. “Why the hell not you bastard?”

  “You talking to me?” the goon said.

  I ignored him. “Come on, tell me why I don’t need the powers now.”

  The Don will return to his home world.

  “So? What about Earth? He’s going to drop a maker bomb on it before he hits the trail,” I said, “I’d sure be nice to stop him and not let billions of people die.”

  It is unfortunate.

  I stood up, putting my hands up on my head. “Unfortunate? Unfortunate? You’re going to let him get away with this?”

  “Hey, better calm down there, chief,” the goon said, “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

  The Dendon device didn’t answer.

  Panic rose in me. Why was the Dendon not helping me? I slumped against the chilly wall, head down. The floor was covered in scratches and dark stains. Traces of Bey Jodo’s other prisoners?

  “Did he have other humans here?” I asked.

  I raised my head when the goon didn’t answer. He raised an eyebrow.

  “You talking to me, cupcake?” he asked, “Yeah, he had others here.”

  “What happened to them?”

  The goon shrugged. “Let’s just say the Don has a ‘leave no witnesses behind’ policy.”

  I shivered. Bey Jodo was going to get away with his crimes.

  Not that it mattered anymore.

  Everyone I ever knew was going to die a horrible death. My mom. My sister and her kids. Gram and gramps. Kincaid–I didn’t feel so bad about him. And...

  Liz.

  I closed my eyes. I saw her sea green eyes, golden red hair flowing around her, a half smile on her lips. She was the one. More than any woman I had ever known, she was the one. I could see myself getting down on one knee and proposing to her.

  In a way, I had already given her the ring. Something she would cherish more than a silly wedding ring. The golden disk that gave the armor.

  My golden warrior.

  Doomed.

  Something shifted within me. Heat spread out from by chest, running to every part of my body. I felt my muscles swell with power. My entire being became infused with energy.

  I straightened up. Breathed deeply. My slumped shoulders squared up.

  The goon noticed. He got to his feet, both hands on his plasma rifle now.

  “What’s going on there, chief?” he asked.

  Take the power.

  I curled my hand into a fist. I took a step closer to the shimmering field. Pulled my fist back.

  The goon shook his head. “You sure don’t learn, do you, chief?”

  I felt like a racing engine in the instant before the clutch en
gages. I pictured turbines screaming within me. Power, waiting to be unleashed. I imagined concentrated energies, flowing down to my hand. A crackling spike of power.

  I punched the shield.

  It exploded.

  Seventy-Two

  Inside the containment field Bey Jodo had trapped me in, lightning crackled around my fist. Tremendous energies flowed into me. I could feel it being drawn from the ship's heart. For a few moments, I was part of the ship itself. I raced along its nerves and looked out its eyes.

  Realized we had already left the ground.

  The ship was in the upper atmosphere. Streaking its way into high orbit. The shock of it made me pull out, come back to my own body.

  I came to awareness in my own body. I still stood in the half circle in the Don ship’s hanger. The rancid cat food smell of the place was tinged with the odor of burned cotton. I looked down. My fist was still held out. The arm of the uniform I stole was in tatters, the ends still smoking.

  “Holy crap, you did it, chief,” the goon said.

  He stood just beyond the circle, his huge plasma rifle hung loosely at his side. I stepped out of the half circle. I flexed my muscles. The energies still flowed in me. The Dendon device had taken energy from the ship. I felt like a barely contained supernova.

  Something caught my eye. At the end of the hanger I saw a blue-white curve, topped with inky blackness. The Earth. For an instant panic sparked through me. The hanger bay door was open–we were going to fall out!

  But no, we still had air, still had gravity. There must have been another containment field covering the opening.

  “The lights dimmed when you did that,” the goon said, “Bey Jodo has to know you’re out.”

  I shook my head, I needed to stay focused. “We need to disable his ship,” I said.

  I thought of the moments where I had interfaced with the ship. Idiot. I had pulled out of it.

  Can you get me back in? I asked the Dendon device.

  If I could get control of the ship...

  A door slid open near me. A blast of plasma fire sizzled out of the opening. It bounced off of me. Scattered hot plasma on the floor.

  Julie rolled out of the opening. Brought her plasma rifle up.

  “Shoot him!” she screamed.

  She loosed another blast at me.

  It didn’t even tickle.

  Touch the floor with your bare hands, the Dendon device said, I will initiate an interface.

  I started to kneel.

  That’s when Bey Jodo turned off the gravity in the hanger bay. And the containment field over the door.

  The next instant air roared past my ears. I tumbled over and over like a leaf in the wind.

  I slammed into something. A flash of red.

  My Jeep!

  The air rushed out, trying to pull me with it. I grabbed hold of the roll bar.

  Rubber squealed against metal. The Jeep skidded toward the door. Its wheels left the deck.

  Out into the night we went.

  Cold. Colder than anything I’d ever known. My skin started to freeze. My body swelled.

  Help me! I cried to the Dendon.

  The cold went away. Pressure returned to my skin. I turned and watched the Don vessel slip into the darkness.

  I saw something else, too.

  The goon and Julie, clinging to the back of the Jeep. Their faces bloated, freezing.

  Put the field around them too! Put it around the entire Jeep!

  You will expend much energy, the Dendon said.

  Do it!

  An instant later the goon and Julie crawled into the back of the Jeep. Gasping, their skin steaming. The lavender scent of Julie’s perfume, tinged with the rancid cat food smell of the Don ship, filled the bubble we were in.

  “Holy crap,” the goon said, “That son of a bitch killed us.”

  Julie looked back. The Don ship was gone. Was she missing her alien lover boy already? She turned around. Her eyes were filled with hate.

  “Why can’t you just die?” she asked.

  I glanced out the side. The Jeep tumbled slowly, corkscrewing through space. Earth rose and fell, turning us in light and shadow.

  “You may get your wish yet,” I said.

  How was I supposed to get us out of this mess?

  I pulled myself into the driver's seat. The rotation of the Jeep wanted to fling me out. I took the seatbelt and buckled myself down.

  The goon scrambled over the top of the passenger seat and did the same.

  “So where we going, chief?” he asked.

  Assuming whatever was keeping us alive could do so for more than a few hours, eventually we’d fall into the atmosphere and burn up. I’d finish out my existence as a meteor.

  Can we get back to Earth safely?

  I sweated out several seconds waiting for the Dendon to reply.

  “You still with us, chief?” the goon asked.

  I glanced at him, then Julie. She clung to the back seat. Scared and angry was the expression she gave me. I gave her a little smile and a thumbs up. She bared her teeth and snarled.

  “You piece of shit,” she said, “All you had to do blow up and everything would have been fine. You can’t do anything right.”

  And I wanted to marry that? What was I thinking?

  “Is she always like that?” I asked the goon.

  He shook his head. “Don’t ask me stuff like that,” he said.

  You cannot return to Earth safely without assistance, the Dendon device said at last.

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “Just don’t,” the goon said out of the corner of his mouth.

  I waved my hand. “Sorry, I was talking to someone else?”

  “What?”

  “Never mind,” I said.

  You do not have the energy reserves to protect this mass from impact, the Dendon said. I would be able to maintain the containment field for one individual–

  My heart skipped a beat. Abandon the goon and Julie? Granted, they had spent a lot of effort trying to kill me on several occasions, sometimes successfully. But I couldn’t sentence them to death.

  –however, the inertial forces upon impact would rupture every cell in your body, reducing you to little more than a slightly thick liquid.

  Oh well, so much for that idea.

  “Would you survive?” I asked.

  “I think they guy has lost his mind,” the goon said, half turning to Julie.

  I survived before. I will survive again.

  I sighed and rubbed my face. Light played over the inside of the Jeep as we rotated. Light. Dark. Night. Day. Stop the universe, I want to get off.

  “How long do we have?” I asked.

  Your energy supply will run out in a few minutes, the Dendon said. After that, your corpse will orbit the planet for approximately 29 days before re-entering the atmosphere and burning up. I estimate I will make planetfall in the area known as Tibet.

  Minutes? That’s all? “What about the energy I took from the ship?”

  Your cells have a finite capacity. Maintaining this large a containment field is draining your reserves rapidly. If you reduce it to just the area around your body, I would be able to maintain it in a low energy state for approximately 57 hours.

  I glanced at the goon. I could live longer if I let them die. But what were my chances of rescue?

  Already I was feeling fatigued. The energy that swelled my muscles was fading.

  Do you want me to reduce the containment field? the Dendon asked.

  “No! Keep them alive!” I said, “Keep us alive as long as you can.”

  Pointless, but as you wish.

  I leaned my head back against the seat.

  “You wanna tell us what’s going on, chief?” the goon asked.

  I quickly explained what the Dendon device had told me. The goon laughed and shook his head.

  “You’re an idiot there, chief,” he said, “Save yourself. Maybe a ship will find you.”

  “No!” Julie
cried, “Don’t tell him that!”

  The goon leaned back in his seat. “Eh, we’ve had a good run,” the goon said, “I’d have rather bought it in bed, but the view is nice. It’s not such a bad way to go.”

  My energy was fading fast. I felt lightheaded. My stomach growled and the hunger pangs hit. I didn’t want to die. Again. Something touched me on the shoulder. I looked over. The goon had his meaty hand on me.

  “You’re an idiot,” he said, “But you’re a good man. And a worthy opponent.”

  He held out his hand. After a moment I took it and he shook it. He let go and put his hands behind his head.

  “Always figured I’d buy it in some jungle,” he said, “Never figured I’d end up a shooting star.”

  My limbs felt like jelly. My grip on the steering wheel loosened. My eyelids got heavier. Consciousness started to slip away.

  I was going to die. Bey Jodo had gotten away. Earth was going to die. Had he already launched his hellish maker bomb at the planet?

  “What’s that?” Julie said.

  She was between us, pointing at something up ahead. I squinted at the windshield. Tried to focus.

  Lights. Approaching. Something loomed up out of the darkness.

  Everything blurred. I faded away.

  Seventy-Three

  All I wanted was a cheeseburger. With green chilies and bacon.

  Icy cold on my back. Bare skin. My fingers moved. Touch chilled metal. My eyelids fluttered open. Lights above me. Bright, focused beams. Beyond that, dim outlines of metal supports, far above the lights.

  “He’s coming around.”

  I turned my head, Tried to find the source of the voice. Smells nearby. A wet, rotting fish type smell. Cinnamon. Lavender. Familiar smells.

  Someone stood next to me. A white coat covering a thick body. I followed the coat to the head.

  I stifled a scream.

  Three eyes stared at me. Two normal looking eyes, then a bulbous third eye above the other two. The third eye had a large, piss-yellow iris.

  A Blinky, stinking like rancid seaweed.

  He raised his scaly, six fingered hand. Something in it. A miniature power tool with a shiny round blade. He pressed a button and it whirred to life. I recognized it then. A bone saw.