by Paul Bellow
“I don’t know yet. Let me think of something.”
A commotion outside the cage caught my attention.
“You’re not eating them!” a goblin yelled.
I turned to Bernard and frowned.
“What did he say?” he asked.
I shook my head and said, “It’s not good.”
“You better come up with something quick,” he said.
“We’ll fight them barehanded if we need to. No way they’re eating us.”
We both moved to face the door of our cell.
As I waited in my underwear and flimsy white shirt, the voices got louder. Bernard nudged me, and the voices got closer.
19
Are You Two Following Us?
Sarah
* * *
Instead of charming all eight goblins, I went for their alpha male.
He fell prey to my spell easily enough. Disguising myself as a female goblin had probably helped, because their leader kept staring at my chest.
“My eyes are up here, worthless human-lover,” I said in goblin-tongue. “You want to give me your prisoners.”
“We should give her the prisoners, boys,” the goblin said.
“No way,” a pudgy goblin said from the back of the group.
“Get up here,” their leader said. “I’ll teach you a lesson.”
“Take me to your prisoners,” I said. “My troops are hungry.”
“We’ve got orders to keep them here for Magi Inyontoo, but…”
He nervously glanced to the left and right.
“If he’s not here, he can’t outrank me. Take me to your prisoners.”
“You’re losing him, Kali. Be careful,” Charlotte said.
“I’ll take you to the prisoners,” the leader said. “The rest of you wait here for us to get back. If anyone comes out, kill them.”
The other goblins grunted and nodded their heads.
“After you,” the charmed goblin said.
I walked into the cave, knowing he was checking me out. With a bit of luck, I could help Bernard and Eric escape.
“You’re a fine-looking specimen,” the nasty goblin said.
I wasn’t afraid to wiggle my behind to keep his attention.
“They’ll make a good meal for my men as we march to the human lands,” I said over my shoulder.
“You’re not eating my prisoners!” the goblin yelled.
Was my spell wearing off?
I kept walking, not letting the green-skinned goon see me sweat.
After a few turns, we reached a room dug out of the stone. Half of it was protected by iron bars. I saw Bernard and Eric trapped.
“They look fat enough to eat,” I said then pointed to Bernard. “Especially that one. He’ll feed two dozen goblins at least. Let them out.”
Bernard looked over at Eric. I hoped he didn’t translate for him.
“Something isn’t right,” the goblin leader said. “You were going to give me something, weren’t you?”
“Where’s their belongings? You will give me those too,” I said. “They will be used for tribute to Magi Inyontoo.”
At the mention of the mage’s name, the goblin began shaking.
“We sent their equipment east already,” he said. “I’m helping, okay? Don’t tell him otherwise. The stories…”
I kept up my entitled aristocrat act.
“Then do as you’re told,” I said.
I turned as the goblin in charge shuffled forward. Bernard and Eric stepped back as if unsure it was really me in disguise.
“Now drop your sword,” I said, perhaps pushing it.
“Come on,” the goblin said. “You can’t take my sword.”
“Time for your reward.” I grabbed the goblin’s arm and pulled him away from the door of the cell. “Over here.”
I slowly lowered my face, lips puckered—wishing the others would hurry up and escape already. Eric grabbed the goblin’s neck.
The reality of the game hit me as he choked the poor mob who was only doing he’s job. Eric kept squeezing until the goblin fell lifeless to the floor.
“Are there others?” he asked.
“Outside,” I said, nodding, still overwhelmed by the primal savageness of the kill. “Seven more if I counted right. This battle isn’t over.”
I hadn’t seen a game notification for experience points.
Eric leaned down and took the goblin’s sword.
“Does he have any other weapons?” Bernard asked.
“None,” Eric said.
“We should get going,” I said.
Eric straightened, swinging the sword.
It almost looked like a large dagger in his hand. Was it enough?
“Can you take all of them?” I asked. “Maybe I should disguise you. We might get lucky and talk our way out of it.”
“Good idea,” Bernard said. “Do you have the…energy?”
I nodded then cast Become Unknowable Humanoid on them.
You cast Become Unknowable Humanoid x2.
You have [39/104] mana remaining
“You should’ve made me look like their leader,” Eric said.
“I can’t control it that much yet,” I replied. “Give me a break. I did just save you two. You’re both hobgoblins.”
Bernard glanced down at the undershirt barely covering his belly. Eric cleared his throat and glanced around.
“Dibs on the goblin armor,” he said.
“Aw, man…” Bernard moaned.
“We need a story for the other goblins outside the cave,” I said. “Either of you two have any ideas?”
Bernard shook his head.
Eric dropped the armor. “No way either of us is fitting in that.”
“At least you have a sword,” I said.
“If you can call it that,” Eric said as he held out the goblin blade.
“They sent your stuff east,” I said. “Maybe we can catch up with them.”
Eric, barely naked, walked toward the tunnel.
“Let’s go,” he said. “Time’s ticking.”
“Hey,” Bernard said. “Do you still have your Dawn Acid?”
I nodded and said, “Good thing we split it up.”
The priest-turned-rogue smiled. We walked to catch up with Eric.
Did he even have a plan? Could we kill seven more goblins?
I jogged to catch up with Eric, putting my hand on his shoulder.
“Hold on,” I said. “We need a plan.”
“Kill the goblins,” he said. “Simple enough.”
“You’re going to kill them all on your own with no armor and that dinky sword?” I asked. “Good luck with that one.”
“I’ll be fine,” he said. “You can help if you want.”
“Maybe we can talk our way out of it,” I said. “They saw their leader accepting everything I told him.”
“And we’ve only got the one sword,” Bernard said.
Eric took a deep breath.
“Okay,” he said. “But if it doesn’t work, we’re going with plan E.”
I tilted my head.
“Plan Eric,” he said.
Bernard chuckled, relieving a bit of the tension.
“You look like hobgoblins now,” I said. “How am I going to explain that to them? Maybe your idea is the best.”
“I’m tired of thinking,” Eric said. “Time for action.”
He took off down the tunnel.
Bernard and I followed a few steps behind.
Losing most of our equipment would set us back.
Eric reached the mouth of the cave and stopped. He looked ridiculous in his undies, but I stifled my mirth.
“Your leader is indisposed,” I said. “We need you all to drop your weapons and take off your armor.”
“Are you nuts?” a goblin a few feet away asked.
“Your leader told me—”
“I’m the leader of this group,” a well-weathered goblin interrupted. “Who are you three?”
&nb
sp; Eric turned to me, and I shrugged.
Had I charmed the wrong goblin?
I counted their heads and saw eight of them.
“You’re waking me up from my nap,” the older goblin said. “This better be important or beneficial to me.”
“Screw this,” Eric said.
He ran forward, swinging the small goblin sword. Two green foes fell to the ground lifelessly as he kept moving.
Bernard stepped forward to one of the bodies and grabbed a sword.
I waited before casting to see if they could handle it on their own.
The more mana I saved the better off we would be—unless, I needed to save the party again. Bernard and Eric kept attacking goblins.
I saw their actual leader running down the hill, trying to get away. Before he could get too far, I cast six Golden Bolts at him.
Your Golden Bolts INJURE the goblin captain for 22 damage.
The goblin captain is dead!
You have [27/104] mana remaining
I turned to check on the other two. Goblin bodies littered the ground. Eric yelled, jumped in the air—then struck the last one.
Combat is Over!
You get +450 xp divided by three party members.
You get 150 xp.
You have 24,024 xp
You need 10,976 xp for level six Wizard->Warlock
“Thanks for busting us out of there,” Bernard said.
“Yeah,” Eric added. “We were getting worried.”
“No problem,” I said. “Maybe we should hang tight for a night. I’m low on mana and could use the rest.”
Eric nodded.
“That makes sense,” he said. “Maybe Bernard and I can craft some armor out of all these pieces.”
“Do you hear something?” Charlotte asked.
I put a finger to my lips.
“Quiet,” I whispered. “Charlotte hears something.”
As Eric tilted his head to listen, his eyes widened.
“Someone’s coming,” he said. “I hear at least two voices, and they’re both getting closer.”
“We should hide,” I said. “Until we know what we’re up against.”
Eric nodded then lifted his goblin short-sword. The voices got louder as they approached.
“We’re not lost, bozo,” a familiar voice shouted.
Ewen? Had the brownies found us?
Confident in my elven ears, I stepped out from the bush. The two brownies stopped and pulled daggers.
“Whoa, hold on,” I said, raising my hands. “Don’t you remember me?”
“I don’t know any goblins,” Evan said.
“Oh, we’re disguised,” I said. “Remember before?”
“Kill the goblins,” Evan yelled, running forward. “They’re all evil.”
“It’s me, Kali,” I said.
Both brownies stopped. Their ever-present smiles creeped me out.
“Kali?” Evan asked. “Is that you? Where did we meet?”
“In Shockly Forest,” I said. “We went to Fishguard together.”
Evan lowered his knife while Ewen kept his up.
“It’s me,” I said. “Promise. What are you two doing in the Forbidden Kingdom? Have you been following us?”
“The one with the big belly looks familiar,” Ewan said.
He pointed at Bernard.
Evan ran forward and threw his arms around me.
“I missed you so much,” he said. “They kicked us out of Esterhollow until we kill enough goblins to gain citizenship.”
“What?” I turned to Eric as he walked up. “That’s crazy.”
“Sounds like the Tower of Gates,” he said. “Hey, guys.”
“You know about the game?” Ewen asked.
Eric and I looked at each other then turned back to the brownies.
“Can we join your group already?” Evan asked.
“We could use their help, Eric,” I said.
“It’s fine with me,” he said. “We need all the help we can get.”
“Fine with me too,” Bernard added.
We officially invited the brownies into our party.
Evan the Brownie Rogue Joins Your Party.
Ewen the Brownie Fighter Joins Your Party.
I shook my head and said, “Not another rogue.”
Both brownies kept smiling.
“How are you two brownies and player characters?” Eric asked. “I don’t remember that option when we started.”
“We had a choice,” Evan said.
“Not sure how,” Ewen added.
“How did you two get in the game?” I asked.
Evan glanced at Ewen momentarily.
“Tell them,” Ewen said. “Might as well.”
“We were prisoners in Nashville, Tennessee,” Evan said. “We signed up for a beta test program to get out early. The game was so hard, and we were having fun as Brownies, so we settled into it. Until you came along, Sarah. You reminded us of the real world.”
The brownie’s creepy smile continued.
“How long have you two been in the game?” I asked.
“Eighty-three years and change,” Evan said.
My mouth hung open in utter shock.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Ewen said grimly. “How long have you guys been in?”
“Over a month now,” I said. “Time is so weird in here.”
“So,” Eric recapped. “We’ve got developers stuck in here, two people from a prison, and others from a mental health facility.”
“None of it makes sense,” I said. “And who was in a mental health facility?”
“Me,” Bernard said. “I lied before.”
“What were you in prison for?” Eric asked.
“Nothing bad,” Evan said. “We were eco-warriors who protested.”
“Yeah,” Ewen added. “So, when we became brownies in the forest, we stayed as NPCs, making the best of it. I don’t think we’re meant to get out.”
“We both didn’t, until you came along,” Evan said. “We hadn’t seen a new player in so long, but you’ve given us hope.”
Ewen nodded his head.
“That’s why we’ve been following you,” he said. “Since we saw you in the forest. We thought you might know the way out.”
“You two have been following me?” I asked.
“Not in a bad way,” Evan said. “We needed to know you more.”
“This is a lot to digest,” I said. “And we still have to finish this quest.”
“Don’t worry,” Evan said. “Things will go great with us here now.”
I smiled at his naïve enthusiasm.
“About your appearance...” I said.
“What about it?” Ewen asked.
“I need to cast a spell to make you into goblins.”
“Will it work on us?” Evan asked in an alarmed tone. “Is it permanent? Will it wear off eventually? How about the smell?”
“Slow down,” I said, smiling. “One question at a time. This won’t be permanent, but it will allow us to travel more freely because we won’t stick out.”
“Great idea,” Evan said.
Then I remembered my low mana.
“I only have enough mana to change one brownie,” I said.
“We can pretend one of them is a prisoner,” Eric offered.
I turned to the brownies.
“Does that sound okay to you two?” I asked.
“I’ll be the prisoner,” Evan said. “It’s just pretend, right? That way I don’t have to look and smell like a goblin.”
“Sarah’s illusions are very potent,” Eric said then chuckled.
Evan looked at me, eyes open wide.
“You remember your real name?” he asked.
I nodded then asked, “What’s your real name?”
“I don’t remember,” Evan said.
“Me neither,” Ewen added. “Such a long time in here.”
“We’ll find a way out,” Eric said. “I’m sure of
it.”
He had more hope than me after so long in the game.
“Let’s get walking,” I said. “We’ve got a lot of miles to cover.”
The four of us continued east toward Tang Province.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but we had to keep going.
20
His Armor Sure Looks Familiar
Eric
* * *
After marching through the day and into the evening with the brownies constantly bickering with each other, we stopped.
“We’ll camp here for the night,” I said. “Any volunteers for the first guard shift?”
“I’ll do it,” Evan said excitedly. “Sarah can stay up with me.”
“No, I need some sleep, little one,” she said.
“Aw, man,” Evan said in a disappointed tone.
“She doesn’t like our kind, bozo,” Ewen said.
“It’s not that,” Sarah said. “We have other things to worry about now.”
“Yeah,” Evan said. “She and I will have more time after this is all over.”
I looked over at Sarah, happy to see a smile on her face. Having the brownies with us would make finishing the quest easier.
“What are we doing for dinner?” I asked.
“I’ll take care of it,” Evan said. “We’re good at foraging.”
“Just make sure there’s no mushrooms that make us feel funny,” I said as he left our campsite.
Evan laughed in a jolly manner as if he knew what I meant.
“We’ve not found any of those in the game,” he said over his shoulder. “But we’ve got our ears and noses open for them.”
Before Evan and Ewen left to find us food, I heard someone talking on the nearby road.
What is it now?
“Everyone hide,” I said. “We might have a fight on our hands.”
“I’ll kill ‘em all,” Evan said, wildly brandishing his dagger.
“Not until I give the word,” I said. “Understand?”
“Yeah, sure,” Evan said.
I hid behind a tree as the voice got louder.
Why only one voice? Slurred speech? A drunk goblin out wandering alone?
