by Paul Bellow
The Golden Bolt INJURES you for 14 damage.
You have [637/811] health remaining.
I dispatched the imp spellcaster with Thor’s Hammer for an additional thousand experience points. After it went down, I pulled out the Scroll of Fire and Fury. Time to light it up. After reading the arcane words I pointed my right hand. A fireball whizzed over the armored yak then flew toward the large zoo. Flames exploded in the room.
+1000 xp
+2000 xp
+3000 xp
+500 xp
+500 xp
I grinned at the kills even though I hadn’t seen them. Screams of pain filled the hallway as I kept creeping backward, my eyes on the zoo’s entrance.
A giant, white snake slithered over the pile of bodies and came toward me. With no decent wands from the tent shops on the level above, I hefted Thor’s Hammer.
I ran forward and swung, saving the three chain lightning spells for something tougher. The mighty war hammer smashed the head of the snake—hard.
You DECIMATE the giant white snake for 35 damage.
You DEVASTATE the giant white snake for 49 damage.
You MAUL the giant white snake for 29 damage.
The giant white snake attempted to retreat, so I attacked again.
You MAUL the giant white snake for 29 damage.
You WOUND the giant white snake for 18 damage.
You MAIM the giant white snake for 60 damage.
The giant white snake is dead! (+1000 xp)
“Bring it!” I shouted.
Tabby my trusted companion had given her life for me. I couldn’t let her down. Something yanked the armored yak backward, opening the hallway. A group of orcs rushed forward. I triggered Thor’s Hammer to send a chain lightning toward them. The electricity hit the first one then jumped from one to another. All of them fell to the floor.
+500 xp
+500 xp
+500 xp
+500 xp
+500 xp
+500 xp
Minor creatures. I guess it could’ve been worse.
Before the next wave appeared, I dipped into my store of healing potions.
You feel better!
You have [811/811] health remaining.
Maybe I can outlast them all. Fighting in the hallway is helping.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw that it continued. A sinister cackle from the zoo got my attention. I raised Thor’s Hammer and prepared myself as I turned.
Tabby, now a zombie cat, shambled down the hallway toward me. A necromancer in the zoo? Is that why they pulled the armored yak back? This is not good.
As the cat got closer, I pushed my emotions aside. Time to win this game. I used all three attacks, bashing her to a hopefully more permanent death. When she only gave me a hundred experience points, I glanced up, getting angrier. The armored yak, also raised from the dead, stumbled down the hall.
Five more imp spellcasters followed the big sack of flesh, shooting spells over its body and using it for protection. I stumbled back as another dozen Golden Bolts hit me. Then the yak reached me, opening its mouth to bite me. I swung Thor’s Hammer then activated the second of my three chain lightning spells for the day.
Once again, the yak fell to the ground. The lightning took out all five imps too.
You get +1000 xp
You get +1000 xp
You get +1000 xp
You get +1000 xp
You get +1000 xp
You get +1000 xp
I couldn’t wait until the end of the battle. Would I level again finally?
“Bring it, dirty necro!” I yelled.
The damn thing laughed at me. I considered running into the open room to take him out, but I still had no idea of the total number of monsters in the zoo. Better to stay in the hallway. I gripped the new leather handle of Thor’s Hammer and waited for more creatures to come for me. After taking out so many, I felt confident about winning the entire encounter.
Three large, rabid rabbits hopped down the hallway toward me. I wanted to save the last chain lightning for the necromancer in the zoo room, so I swung the hammer instead. Bunny screams filled the hallway as we battled. They bit with giant buck-teeth while I brought Thor’s Hammer down on them. One after another they fell.
I took some damage, but I had plenty of potions. You could never have enough healing potions in a roguelike. I quaffed one and brought my health back up to full. As a huge, thick alligator crawled toward me, I took a few more steps back. Maybe I could get more of them to line up and use the last chain lightning.
My reasoning was sound, but the eclectic mix of monsters had other ideas. I felt trapped in a crazy module written by Gary Gygax in the early days of role playing games. The alligator shimmied around the giant rabbits as I continued walking backward. Behind it, I saw an owlbear and green troll appear. A huge, floating nose floated at me next.
I zapped Thor’s Hammer. The last shot of the day needed to be effective. After hitting the alligator, the chain lightning leaped to the other monsters in the hallway. The owlbear dropped, but the troll and floating nose kept moving forward. The necromancer laughed in the distance. Maybe I should run away to fight another day.
Wanting to live, I turned and took off at full speed down the dark hallway. Why hadn’t I waited before coming down so deep in the dungeon? My stupid mistake at the Graveyard might cost me my life. The hallway twisted and turned a few times as I kept running. The sick sounds of the monsters followed me close behind. I pushed myself harder.
After running for several minutes, I spotted a literal light at the end of the tunnel. Safety? I rushed toward the brightly lit room, holding Thor’s Hammer with both hands. When I reached the doorway, I stopped. My heart sank and I felt sick to my stomach. Dozens of monsters turned from the far side of the huge room that curved.
I’d come all the way back around to the zoo without finding a staircase down to the next level. The tiny imps and gremlins didn’t concern me too much, but the monsters who had been chasing me through the hallway did as they got closer. I scanned the room for any sign of the necromancer. Was he the toughest mob?
Better to stay in the tunnel. I turned and ran back into the darkness. Time to take a last stand. I swung at the green troll as he appeared. He stayed up. Something scurried behind me. I whirled around, ready to face anything…except for a cockatrice. The scaled beast with the head of a chicken rushed forward.
I swung Thor’s Hammer, hitting it two times. On my third attack, I missed. And that would prove to be fatal. The cockatrice, barely alive, brushed against my bare forearm.
You turn to stone.
Everything faded away.
()xxxx[:::: Chapter 17 ::::>
Speedrunning Levels
I went through many other characters before having another run with the possibility of winning. Some of the most memorable included those listed below.
Level 1 Scribe – Died by sneezing too hard in mold storm on level 3 (-150’).
Level 3 Apothecary – Died by mixing up bad potion on level 2 (-100’).
Level 1 Arctic Druid – Died of heat exhaustion on level 0 (0’).
Level 13 Psionicist – Died of Exploding Brain Syndrome on level 12 (-600’).
Level 2 Berserker – Died of alcohol poisoning in tavern on level 0 (0’).
Level 15 Dandy – Died in hidden tavern on level 12 (-60’).
Level 1 Thug – Died fighting orc clan on level 2 (-100’).
Level 1 Bard – Died playing harp on level 2 (-100’).
Level 2 Bard – Died playing banjo on level 1 (-50’).
Level 1 Bard – Died playing flute on level 0 (0’).
Level 24 Rogue - Ruthlessly murdered by Ruth on level 27 (-1350’).
Level 3 Wizard - Broke leg kicking at the air then fell down stairs on level 1 (-50’)
Level 1 Tourist – Zapped by DemonSpawn sword on level 1 (-50’)
Level 9 Ranger – Choked on a semi-rotten egg on level 7 (-350’)
Level 6 Knight – Fiery death by Wand of Fire explosion on level 5 (-250’)
Level 2 Mage – Tickled to death by angry hobbit on level 3 (-150’)
Level 5 Barbarian – Killed by shopkeeper on level 6 (-300’)
After so many failures, I ended up with a strong Valkyrie with a white, miniature unicorn companion named Gloria. She cast spells and could tip a close melee battle too. With her help and a bit of luck, I leveled up quickly, descending to record depths in the latest random dungeon: The Pit of Magwa.
I searched for Dwarven Valhalla and The Graveyard, but neither special area of the game appeared. Ready to finish the final levels of the dungeon, I walked down yet another set of stairs with Gloria right behind me. A notification screen popped up as I reached the bottom of the steps and stopped.
You are on level 76 (-3800’).
You are a Level 78 Valkyrie.
Your alignment is dubious.
The room we entered held nothing, so I called up my stats.
Name: Orange Seeker
Class: Valkyrie
Race: Dwarf
Level: 78
XP: 28,500,000
XP TO LVL: 500,000
Health: 1,472 hp
Magic: 711 mp
Alignment: 15 (Dubious)
Armor Class: 95 (Nearly Invincible)
Attacks per Round: 4
STR: 99 (+10 damage)
INT: 96 (+10 mp per level)
WIS: 77
DEX: 82 (+30% Dodge/Ranged Attacks, +4 AC)
CON: 103 (+15 hp per level)
CHA: 77 (+15% haggle/bargain)
One-Handed Blades -> Basic Level 10 of 10
One-Handed Blades -> Advanced Level 2 of 5
Use Magic Items -> Basic Level 8 of 10
Languages: Common, Dwarven
You are Carrying:
a) Canteen – [32/48 ounces]
b) Wand of Fire Bolt [21/145 charges]
c) Bullseye Lantern (2130 minutes)
d) Huge Sack of Holding
e) Backpack of Storing
1) 22,232 gold coins
2) Trail Rations x21
3) Platypus Eggs x4 (+10% to hit, +10 damage, lasts 3 hours)
4) Sturdy Climbing Rope (60’)
5) Potion of Cure Major Wounds x20
6) Potion of Cure Poison x
7) Potion of Blindness x5
8) Potion of Cure All Wounds x8
9) Box of Never-ending Bread (refills once per day)
10) Brass Wand of Digging [0/21 charges]
11) Birch Wand of Trap Detection [0/14 charges]
12) Blessed Porcupine Statuette (500 gp)
13) Oak Staff of Cancellation [0/4 charges]
14) Bell of Opening
EQUIPPED
Wielding: Ancient Carolingian Sword (+60% to hit, +50 damage, 2d100 damage)
Left Finger: Ring of Extra Attacks (+2 attacks)
Right Finger: Ring of Major Fire Resistance
Left Wrist: Bracers of Deflection (+10 Armor Class)
Right Wrist: Bracers of Speed (+1 attack)
Around Neck: Diamond Necklace of Endurance (+5 CON)
Light Source: Nightvision
On Body: Ancient Plate Mail (AC70 – Well Armored.)
Shield: Nothing
On Head: Helm of Distraction (+15 AC)
On Hands: Leather Gloves (+5 AC)
On Feet: Sandals
Ranged Weapon: Sling
In Pouch: 24 Stones (+20%,+25,2d10)
SPELLS:
Tier 1 Spells (Level 1 – 9):
Golden Bolts (2mp)
Identify (5mp)
Minor Sleep (8mp)
Tier 2 Spells (Level 10 – 19):
Lava Clumps (10mp)
Illusion of Stone (5mp per square foot)
Aura of Lesser Triumph (10mp per AC point)
Tier 3 Spells (Level 20 – 29):
Basic Magic Mapping (20mp)
Screamers' Charisma (20mp)
Tier 4 Spells (Level 30 – 39):
Better Magic Mapping (40mp)
Lance of Lightning (40mp)
Tier 5 Spells (Level 40 – 49):
Advanced Magic Mapping (50mp)
Minor Fireball (50mp)
Tier 6 Spells (Level 50 – 59):
Minor Word of Healing (60mp)
Berserker Summoning (60mp)
Burning Axe of Ooze (60mp)
Tier 7 Spells (Level 60 – 69):
Better Word of Healing (70mp)
The Four Runes of Fighter Seeking (70mp)
Tier 8 Spells (Level 70 – 79):
Major Word of Healing (100mp)
Magic Deflection (100mp per tier of spell to be deflected)
The most important part of my latest character build? Not a single inch of my body was exposed. If I ran into a cockatrice again, I’d be ready. After clearing five zoos on my descent into this dungeon and still not seeing one, I expected one to pop up at any minute.
“I smell magic, but we shouldn’t get distracted,” Gloria said.
“You’re one to talk.” I smiled. “Remember that side-quest on level forty-two?”
She laughed, her single horn glowing brighter.
“I sense someone coming,” she said. “Be ready.”
Sword in hand, I turned to the only door in the room. In the distance, someone cried out in distress. The screams got closer as I watched and waited. The door swung open, and a woman in a simple, white dress ran in. She screamed when she saw me. Blood drenched both of her hands.
“It’s coming,” she said. “Please save me.”
This must be another quest. I’d been getting a lot of them.
“Sure,” I said. “We’ll help you.”
An armored yak with a spear sticking out of its side barreled into the room. Blood squirted from the wound. The woman shrieked then ran to the stairs.
I stepped forward to attack as the injured creature advanced.
Your slash MANGLES the armored yak for 279 damage.
Your pierce DEMOLISHES the armored yak for 302 damage.
Your slash DISEMBOWELS the armored yak for 119 damage.
The armored yak is dead!
Combat is Over!
You have [28,505,000/29,000,000] xp.
Leveling is becoming so difficult.
“Not enough experience,” I muttered.
“We’ll find bigger monsters,” Gloria said.
“That unicorn is talking,” the woman with bloody hands said as she pointed to the unicorn.
“My name is Gloria,” my companion replied. “Nice to meet you.”
“She won’t hurt you,” I said as I put my sword away. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Lady Thornburg,” she replied, then burst into tears again.
“You’re okay,” I said, stepping over and handing her a cloth. “Clean your hands. Did you attack the yak?”
“Yes.” She sobbed as she wiped off the blood. “I had no choice. They killed my mother.”
“Who are they?” I asked.
“The monsters,” she said. “Including that stupid yak!”
No game notification about a quest had popped up, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen if I followed her around. She dropped the bloody cloth to the ground.
“Thanks so much for helping me avenge my mother.”
“Hold on,” Gloria said. “We didn’t mention anything about avenging anyone.”
“I need your help.” Lady Thornburg turned away dramatically. “You’re my only hope.”
“Are you going to give us something if we kill the monsters who killed your mother?” I asked. “You know, like a magic sword or special set of armor?”
Gloria’s eyes narrowed as she turned but said nothing.
“I know of a magic amulet,” Lady Thornburg said. “I’ll give it to you if you help me avenge my mother.”
“Where are the monsters?” I asked.
She smiled. “This way.”
I followed as she walked to the door she’d come through.
“Please hurry,” she said. “There’s not a lot of time.”
Why the sense of urgency? Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Can you tell us about the other monsters?” I asked, peering into the hallway.
“There’s more ancient yaks, and I don’t know what else,” she said.
“How many monsters do you remember?” Gloria asked.
“I don’t know…”
Lady Thornburg stopped to sob some more.
“You’re fine,” I said, walking past her. “Follow us.”
I walked into the hallway and saw an open doorway in the distance. We stopped at it and peered out into an immense cavern with numerous exits leading in every direction. An entire herd of ancient armored yaks stood in the center of the room. I backed up into the hallway, hoping none of them had seen me.
“There’s too many,” Gloria whispered. “We should go.”
“No,” Lady Thornburg whined.
Both Gloria and I turned to shush her. She dropped her chin to her chest, sniffling, as I stepped forward and peeked at the herd of ancient armored yaks. When Lady Thornburg cried even louder, one of the massive, hairy beasts looked in our direction. Here we go. I stepped back and turned to Gloria.
“Keep her safe, but be ready to back me up if necessary.”
“Okay, Alex.”
I stroked the back of her neck a moment then ran into the cavern.
