by E. H. Lyon
I feel his mouth on my neck then my breasts then back to my lips. He is going rampant as our bodies glisten with sweat and find a rhythm together.
But nothing is better than our mouths meeting when finally we come together. Collapsing intertwined and him staying in me because we are in no rush to get rid of a condom. Instead we lay lifeless on the sofa together, with hearts very much alive.
“Things seem to be going well between you and Max,” Avery nudges my arm as she fixes her display case of cakes.
“I would like to think so. He is a special guy.” I can’t help but let my face glow.
“I heard about your house. Kind of crazy, but I didn’t think it would be a dealbreaker to not get the house.”
“It just felt kind of weird to buy the house of my boyfriend’s ex-fiancée. But I also think, well, maybe there were some other feelings that got stirred and I felt like maybe it just wasn’t meant to be my house.”
“Like what feelings?”
“My mind is trying to figure it out. But it doesn’t matter, I mean, my rental is cute enough to last me a few more months so I just extended the lease.”
“I guess that makes sense. Well, it’s nice to see you both happy.” She touches my arm with a smile.
Max is at home sleeping in. Friday night, we moved from my couch to my bed where we ended up having sex three times. Yesterday we laid in bed and talked about houses. I told him that I want to wait to find a house as autumn is a busy time with school. But I informed him that my father wanted to look for his retirement/vacation home already, so Max isn’t losing any business—not that he cares. Last night, we had a romantic dinner at Forks Lore, and after, we sat in his yard looking at the stars, just talking. Finally, we made it to bed and held one another.
I look at the display case to debate what to bring Max for breakfast in bed. Figured he would need a good sleep-in after his sunrise performance. He took me from behind slowly before we found our wave and entered a new round of sleep.
“Let’s take the croissants, the carrot cake, the brownies, and blueberry muffins. Two of each.”
Avery laughs. “Whoa, are you two prepping for a marathon?”
I give her a wink. “Something like that.”
“Good for you, Harper.” Avery gives me a knowing grin as she grabs a box and begins to pack it with goodies.
“Harper?”
I turn to see an unfamiliar woman who seems to know my name. Brown hair, maybe a few years older than me. Pearls and a buttoned blouse.
“Uhm hi?”
She gives me a smile that makes me nervous.
“We haven’t met. You were going to buy my house then changed your mind. A shame, really. But I get it. Not every day you buy the house of your boyfriend’s former fiancée, right?”
Really? This is Melissa?
“Right. Sorry about that. I can imagine selling a house is stressful.” My eyes study her and don’t blink.
“I get it, I do. I mean, when I had coffee with Max the other week, it was clear he still has the ability to make you feel the future looks great with him in it, right? You wouldn’t need your own house for that. Not when you two seem destined for one another.” The way she says it, it feels almost like a warning.
I don’t like it. More importantly, I didn’t know he saw her. He never mentioned that.
“It was so good to catch up with Max. It was like old times. Going over memories and laughing. But anyways, I will let you get on your way. Have a pleasant weekend,” Melissa flicks her hair behind her shoulder and makes a sharp pivot.
“Yeah… you too,” I say faintly.
That seed of doubt in me about love suddenly creeps up again. It grows into a massive tree inside me. Partly because I think of love when it involves Max—that’s a realization. But more importantly, that feeling that I will get hurt again is too strong.
Chapter Sixteen
Max
“I think we should slow down.”
I stare at her blankly as she stands behind the counter with an unopened box of goods from Smokey Java’s.
I finish throwing a shirt on as we stand in the kitchen. “Uhm… where is this coming from?”
I step forward to interlace her fingers with mine.
She takes a deep breath. “I ran into Melissa.”
Oh, this can’t be good. What did the evil witch do?
“She mentioned how it was good catching up with you over coffee. I didn’t know you met her for coffee.” Harper avoids my eyes and looks to the side at the box.
“Most definitely it wasn’t good catching up, and yes, I did meet her for coffee to get her to agree to sell you the house.” I pull her closer to me, but she feels like dead weight and seems resistant.
“Why didn’t you mention that?” Her eyes turn to me almost with a hopeless look.
“I guess I should have, but really that ten-minute coffee was worse than a root canal at the dentist.” My thumb circles the skin of her hand to try and soothe her.
“To be honest, that really isn’t the issue.”
“Then what is?” My hands move to her face. “Hey, Harper, tell me. What’s wrong?”
She looks somber and her frown is new. “We should just maybe cool it for a little bit. I can collect my thoughts. Maybe we’re rushing.”
I feel like there’s something else. But I have no idea what it could be.
“I don’t need to cool it. I feel like fast is us.” I kiss her forehead before her palms find my chest to gently push me back.
“But maybe you wake up and realize that it isn’t the case. Space. A break, maybe. Yeah, a break is probably easiest,” she’s rambling again which means she’s unsure.
“Harper, I’m really clueless right now. I feel like I’m missing a fact.” Now I sound hopeless and my heart feels cracked. I don’t want her to slip away.
“It’s for the best.” Her eyes are welling with water.
As much as I want to fight her on this, I feel like that may push her away more. I do something that my father would have called me a schmuck for.
I let her leave.
Two days later and radio silence from Harper. I feel numb and life feels lifeless without her. Less colorful. And it’s been only two days!
I can’t even imagine how life will look if this drags on longer.
I’m sitting across from Leo at Matchbox. I’m happy my childhood friend is at last back from his travels. Now, he sits in front of me in a suit, ready to slay the world like the billionaire mogul he is.
“You really have no idea why she’s upset?”
I let my finger circle my beer glass rim. “No clue.”
“Are you sure Melissa didn’t say something to her? Geez, haven’t heard her name in years. I forgot about her,” Leo reflects.
“Me too. She’s easy to forget.” It comes out blank. “And I am sure Melissa twisted something in her words, but I got the feeling that something else is bothering Harper.”
“Possible. You both don’t know each other so well. I mean, it’s been what, a month or two?” Leo drinks from his beer.
“It feels like forever. I know that I have a little bit of a, uh, record… but with Harper it’s special. A feeling I’ve never had.” I continue to stare aimlessly at my glass.
“Love?” Leo looks at me skeptical.
I laugh lightly in the back of my throat as I think about it for a few moments. “Would that be crazy if I said yes?”
Leo’s face quickly forms a wide grin. “No. That would be good, Max. We all deserve to settle down at some point.” I know he means that statement as he has done a 180 in personality from local playboy to a man completely wanting the family, wife and all.
“Should I go speak to her or let her come to me?”
Leo shrugs a shoulder. “I don’t know. Give it another day. But if she comes to you then tell her the truth. You seem to be in love with her.” He smiles at me.
I lick my lips. “Yeah, I am.”
“Definitely don’
t give up. You sometimes have to ride them a little hard to wear them down to your charm. Be relentless.”
Now I have to smile at my friend. “Is that what you’re doing? My business partner seems to have a permanent headache due to you since you came back.”
It makes him grin with pride.
“We will all get there,” he assures me, but I can’t help but feel he’s saying it for his own benefit too.
Just then Leo’s face turns to entertained and a deep laugh comes from him. “Oh boy. Guess who’s here?”
I shake my head, clueless.
“Max!”
That voice is like glass breaking.
Staring up at the woman towering over us, I see Melissa complete with her pink lip gloss and white blouse.
Already the migraine is coming.
“Oh, Leo, you’re here too.” Melissa looks at Leo.
“Yep, and most definitely not leaving this scene,” he mutters before taking a sip of his drink.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” It’s one-toned from my end.
“Just wanted to say hi. I ran into your girlfriend, she seems, well, different.”
I look at her. “She is different. She is exactly what I need and want. We are on the same wavelength.”
Melissa’s face tightens. “Look, Maxwell, I have been thinking. I get that we are two different people. And it wasn’t nice what I did when I first said I wouldn’t let your girlfriend have the house, and for that I apologize.”
Looking at Leo whose face is confused and back to Melissa who seems like she swapped bodies with someone normal, I am totally taken aback.
But then a strange thought takes over me. What would Harper do in this situation? She would smile and put on a brave face then be pleasant. She wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt.
“Wow, someone woke up mature today,” I snipe.
Damn it, that is not what Harper would have done.
Leo chuckles slightly behind a closed mouth, and when I look at him, he shakes his head gently to remind me that I am going down the wrong path.
Taking a deep breath, I decide to be a decent man. The man that Harper would be proud of. “That is kind of you to apologize, and to be honest, I owe you an apology too. I am sure it isn’t an easy time for you. But I think you know that we are total opposites, and it was never going to work between us. I can’t regret ensuring we didn’t make a mistake.” I look at her to check she is taking in my words. It came out with full sincerity, and I see she is digesting the words.
“I know, Max. Funny, I met Harper for only thirty seconds and all I could think about is how she seems like the one you would end up with.” She crosses her arms as she studies me.
I don’t really know how to answer that.
“Anyhow. I’m off. I managed to find a new buyer, and since my divorce is final, then I am moving to Portland for work. I’m sure our mothers will keep us updated.” She has a tight-lipped smile.
I tilt my head to the side. “Probably.” There’s a pause. “Good luck, Melissa.”
She smiles softly at me before walking away.
I watch her walk away as I truthfully wonder if I entered the Twilight Zone. I’m brought back to reality when I hear a gentle slow clap. Turning my attention, I see Leo sitting there and clapping at me with a gentle grin.
“That’s called closure, my friend.”
I shake my head at him. “Least of my worries. I still have a girlfriend who is insistent on a break. That’s the problem I need to solve.”
I’ll find a way. I have to.
Chapter Seventeen
Harper
I’m sitting with Max on his couch.
After the school day, I asked if we could meet. I arrived and he immediately pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead before ushering us to his living room.
“I want to be honest with you,” I begin.
Our hands find one another to hold because they seem to have a mind of their own.
“I’m listening.”
“A year ago, I was in a serious relationship.”
His face turns heavy. “Okay, go on.”
“I thought for sure that we would get married. We were never engaged, but Kyle was always talking about how he saw a life with me. We had gotten together my senior year of college and had been together since.”
“Okay. We both have a history.”
“I know. But I want to explain more.” I take a deep breath and my hands shake slightly, which makes Max squeeze them tight. “High school was horrible to me, but college seemed to be where I blossomed. No more bullies, no more waiting to see if the popular guy liked me. Because he did. Our families met, we had joint vacations together. I thought it was love. But then we were on a trip with a bunch of friends in Vermont. We got into a fight because, well…”
Max strokes my arm to encourage me to continue. “What happened?”
“He cheated on me—a lot and for years. The girl he cheated on with, Noemi, was even on our trip and in our friendship group. What’s even worse is she was on his cross-fit team and worked at my school. I didn’t even see the signs. How stupid was I not to have a clue?” I sound almost angry at myself, and I was for a long time.
Max pulls me close into a hug. “Hey, you are not stupid. Nobody plans to be cheated on, so why would you be looking for signs?”
I pull back and nod in agreement before moving on in the story. “True. He cheated. But instead of being sorry, he blamed me. Told me he cheated because I couldn’t be normal, I always had to be strange. It was like it was my fault I walked in on them banging it out in her hotel room. But we had a huge fight, and I broke up with him, obviously.”
“You’re not strange, Harper. You’re exactly what I’ve been dreaming about.” His thumb caresses the top of my hands.
I look at him with welled eyes and I try to smile at his remark.
Pausing, I decide to move us to the next part of the story. “I was so upset and phoned my brother to come and get me. But when he arrived, we heard that Kyle had a ski accident.”
Tears fall and Max pulls me close to him again to stroke my hair.
“Harper, I’m so sorry. That must have been hard.”
“When he was in the hospital, his parents blamed me. Said it was my fault he was upset and went out on the slopes. And I wasn’t going to be the one to tell them their son was an asshole player and that was the reason we had a fight. They said awful things to me, and it shook me a lot.”
“I can imagine. Does it still bother you? Why did you ask for space?”
I look at him and squeeze his hand.
“I debated if I should feel guilty, but in truth he wasn’t that upset we ended. He was upset he got caught.” My head tilts to the side. “…And maybe he hurt his groin in the accident.”
It makes Max lighten his face and almost smile at that fact.
I continue, “I don’t accept blame for what happened to him. But he was very bitter after everything. Seeing Noemi at school all the time wasn’t great either. That whole episode affected me. It’s one of the reasons that I decided to move, start fresh.”
“Are you unhappy with that decision?” Max looks at me intently with eyes squinting as if he is afraid of the answer.
I place his hand between both of my own hands. “No, I think it was the right thing for me. Also, I think I always wanted to live somewhere else anyhow.”
“So, what else is bothering you?”
“There was always this insecurity from when I was in high school and then it slapped me in the face again when I thought I was in love with Kyle. Ever since, I doubt what I’m feeling in case I have it all wrong. And…”
“What else?” He moves his hand to rub my back.
“The last few weeks have been amazing. A completely unique feeling. But these little seeds of doubt were planted in my brain again. Your mother doesn’t like me, your ex-fiancée is still broken-hearted even after all these years which makes me scared you would also break another hear
t… mine.”
Quickly his hands find my face.
“Harper, why do you think my mother doesn’t like you?” He almost seems amused.
“I overheard her talking to you about how you should try again with Melissa. Maybe she’s better at cooking and doing your laundry. I mean, you would even have the wedding of your dreams, all your family’s dreams.” I begin to ramble, and his thumb comes to shush my mouth.
“No. My mother did say that, but you must have missed the part when she said that she sees I am happy and she’s excited to completely train you.” He is equal parts serious and joking. “She didn’t know how serious we were, and that has always been my mother’s play, to try and hook me up with anyone under 35 within a 20-mile radius. But I don’t even care what she thinks. Do you know why?”
I shake my head no.
“Because one, I never loved Melissa—as you probably could tell when you met her, she is nothing to me. Her personality and mine don’t align. She isn’t at all appealing now either. But more importantly, I’ve never felt the way I feel for you for anyone, and you know what that means?”
My eyes water and my throat feels cracked as I shake my head no again.
“You are something special. So damn special.”
It almost makes me smile, but insecurity still runs deep.
“I hope I was able to explain where my head is at, Max.” I look at our hands together then back at him. “Everything you say is right, but that feeling in me that I will only get hurt is strong. I need more time, Max.”
He pulls me close and places popcorn kisses around my face as his hands hold me in place. “Fine. But Harper, I’m not going away. I am here and not letting you go. Take time, take space, but I promise you that we are the real thing. We are the real thing, and I hope you take a chance on that.”
“How are you so certain?” I look at him, hopeless.
He holds my hands. “Because this feeling between us, have you ever had it before?”
I consider his question, and it’s true. This feeling is unlike anything I’ve felt before. It’s new, never once before experienced. But I can’t figure out what this feeling is. If it’s the right kind of love or the type of love that blinds you from thinking clearly?
