by Nancy Isaak
As I lowered my blouse to show her my back, Florenza whistled in amazement—reaching out to touch my tattoo.
“Still stings,” I warned, flinching away. She quickly retracted her hand, leaning forward instead, studying the intricate design carefully. “Boy’s got his own mad skills,” she whistled, admiring. “Now I know why you want Wyatt going with you.”
“Except for Cherry, he’s the only one in our tribe who can do something like this.”
“Those wings are spooky. Like the feathers move with your muscles. Some crazy hoodoo you’re wearing there, chief. You keeping it oiled, right? Cause them wings need to be oiled.”
“Wyatt gave me some lotion to put on at night,” I said, pulling down my blouse.
“What did Jacob think?” Florenza asked. “I mean, he must of been shocked, right ‘Cause you didn’t tell him you were doing it, did you?”
“Jacob hasn’t seen it.”
Florenza’s eyebrows arched inward; she looked disgusted. “That ain’t right, Kaylee.”
What could I say?
“It is what it is,” I shrugged, trying to seem unaffected.
She shook her head. “Man, that boy is gonna’ be kicking himself when he finds out. Or maybe I’m just gonna’ do it for him.”
“Leave Jacob alone,” I warned. “If he knew where I was going, you know that he’d stop me.”
Florenza wasn’t convinced. “You think?”
I sighed, frustrated. There was no way that I wanted to continue with this topic. It already hurt so deeply that Jacob had returned to ignoring my very existence.
Instead, I reached my hand out to Florenza, palm up. “Gimme.’”
“You the chief.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small plastic container, only slightly bigger than a couple of matchbooks placed end-to-end. “You sure you want to do this, mami?”
“We need to destroy Brandon and the Foxes now. Before they destroy us. It’s the only way.”
Florenza slapped the little container into my hand, grinning. “Mami’s gonna’ clean house…you go, girl!”
* * * *
The next morning, I found Jude in a woodshop that she and a few other Locals had set up in the guest house of a nearby mansion. She was on her knees, covered in sawdust, carefully carving away at the cradle she was building.
“You know, this is Malibu,” I said, sitting down on the floor beside her. “Like there’s probably a thousand dollar crib in every second mansion around here.”
Jude nodded. “Exactly.”
“But only one Jude-original,” I acknowledged.
She stopped what she was doing to grin at me. “Exactly.”
“I have to admit—when you first started this—well, I had my doubts.”
“So did I,” said Jude, brushing off a piece of sawdust. “My first three tries sucked major butt.”
There were daisies carved into the runners of this crib—a simple design, certainly not up to Cherry’s artistic abilities—but I could see the time and effort Jude must have put in. I reached out and ran my finger over one roughly hewn petal. “Florenza and Pauly are going to love this…really.”
“Thanks.”
“So, you must think it’s a girl,” I said, tapping a daisy. “Flowers, right.”
Jude shrugged. “Just hoping, that’s all. Girls are—less complicated.”
“Have you met the Foxes?!” I snorted.
“Yeah, well…point taken.”
I returned to tracing the daisy; my fingers followed around one petal, then moved onto the next, then another after that. With a loud sigh, Jude suddenly stopped what she was doing and turned to me, giving me her full attention. “What’s up? Spill it.”
“Why does anything have to be up,” I asked, dropping my fingers from the daisy. “Maybe I just wanted to come and visit with you. Like we don’t spend hardly any time together anymore.”
“Like you’re full of crap, Barbie!” Jude told me. “And you’ve got your sneaky face on.”
“I don’t have a sneaky face!” I objected, trying to look offended.
“Whatever, dude,” she snorted, crossing her arms in irritation. “Now, say what you came to say, so that I can finish this thing before the ankle-biter arrives.”
“Well…it’s just,” I mumbled, “like…well, I’m going on expedition in a few days…and…well, I just wanted to say good-bye.”
“If you try to hug me, it ain’t happening,” she warned me.
I sat there, looking down at the floor, trying to keep the tears from my eyes.
After a few moments, Jude gave a big sigh and pushed at me. “Okay, dumbass…I’ll give you a three second hug, but that’s it.”
That made me smile. “And I need you to do something else for me, Jude.”
“Then, it’s down to two seconds,” she growled. “Because I’ve only got so much time for ridiculousness.”
I pulled a sealed envelope from the back pocket of my jeans. “Can you give this letter to Jay on the 1st of November? Not before then…exactly on that day…November 1st.”
Jude frowned. “You’re supposed to be back before then.”
“Seriously, Jude,” I groaned. “Like if anybody should know that stuff happens on expeditions, it should be you.”
The expression on her face softened and Jude reluctantly took the envelope from me. She stared at it for a moment, not saying a word, then placed it in her own back pocket.
When Jude looked back up at me, her eyes were moist with tears. “Wherever you are…you need me to come—just get a message to me and I’ll be there…promise.”
I gave her my most sincere smile. “It’s just a scavenging trip, Jude. We’ll be back before you know it.”
One small tear escaped Jude’s left eye, running down her cheek. She wiped at it, embarrassed. “Whatever, dude.”
“Two seconds?” I held out my arms for my hug. “You promised me that, too.”
But Jude held on for ten.
I know—because I counted.
* * * *
Jay was in the hallway, just outside of the Medical Clinic, filling up the condom bowl. She grinned as I walked up.
“It’s the new girls,” she giggled. “Ever since they came we can’t keep this thing full. I even saw Ethan taking a couple the other day.”
My mouth fell open in shock. “Ethan is…doing it?!”
Her giggle was even louder this time. “I think he’s just trying to be like the bigger guys, you know. He probably carries the condoms in his pocket to prove he’s a man.”
I wasn’t so certain. “Has someone even talked to him about sex?”
“That’s all those guys talk about now,” Jay smirked. “Sex and more sex. This tribe is becoming kinda’ like high school all over again.”
“Which means that you and Porter should hold sex education classes,” I told her. “Seriously.”
With a little flourish, Jay replaced the condom bowl. “Since these will most likely be gone in a few days, that’s probably a very good idea.” She plucked one silvery foil packet out of the bowl and held it out to me. “Party favor?”
“Get out of here!” I smacked Jay’s hand away.
“Trying for babies, are we?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I didn’t have the heart (or courage) to tell my best friend that intimacy with my husband was a non-starter these days; Jacob wasn’t coming anywhere near me.
And of course—that I didn’t need contraceptives, because I was already pregnant.
“You get out of my sex life or I’ll start asking about yours,” I warned.
Jay immediately turned bright red, the blush extending down past her neck.
“Ohmigod,” I laughed. “You guys are really doing it, aren’t you?!”
“Shaddup!” Embarrassed, Jay turned and rushed into the Clinic.
I followed on her heels, poking her in the back. “Like little bunnies, I bet!”
Porter was in a far corner of the Clinic as we entered,
wrapping a bandage around a kid’s bloody knee. Seeing the blush on Jay’s face and the condom still clutched in her hand, Porter quickly looked away—concentrating hard on what he was doing.
“Hey, Porter,” I yelled at him. “Just came over to find out how many more prophylactics we should bring home from our expedition. Looks like we’re running out really quickly, don’t you think?”
If anything, Porter started winding the kid’s bandage even quicker, ignoring his patient’s squeak at its sudden tightness. Like Jay, Porter turned a bright red; he refused to look up or even acknowledge me.
“Leave him alone!” Jay smacked me on the arm.
I couldn’t help but laugh again. “You’re protecting your bae,” I teased. “Like could this get any cuter?!
* * * *
Later, the two of us sat out at the cliff’s edge, dangling our legs over the side.
“You’re not going for supplies, are you?” asked Jay, suddenly.
I turned to her, surprised. “What would make you think that?”
She shrugged. “Every expedition that’s gone up since Jacob’s has had at least ten guards. Not a single team has had less than fifteen people. You’re leaving with just Nate, Erroll, and Wyatt.”
“Well, let’s face it,” I joked, “Erroll is worth at least ten guys all by himself.”
“And Wyatt?” she frowned. “Like—maybe minus two.”
“I don’t think you’re giving Wyatt enough credit.”
“Yeah, right,” Jay snorted. “I like Wyatt, but you and me both know he’s a coward. There is no way that he’d stand his ground in a fight.”
“Which is curious, don’t you think? Because how in the world does someone like Shawnee fall in love with someone like Wyatt?”
“What’s more curious is how someone like you is trying to distract someone like me from the real question, which is…what the heck are you up to?”
I sighed, reaching for her hand and holding it. “Going for supplies…and that means that I need your list of what the clinic needs for the birth of Florenza’s baby.”
“So, you’re still sticking with that just going scavenging story?”
“And anything else you think that the clinic might need should be on that list,” I continued, as if she hadn’t spoken.
“Dammit.” Jay stared out across Zuma Beach, watching the waves pound in a lazy sequence all along the sand. She seemed angry—frustrated with me.
“Does Jacob even know that you’re going up into the Valley?” she suddenly asked. “Has he figured it out?”
I stared down at my feet, too scared to look at her—afraid that she might read the truth in my eyes. “Jay,” I said, carefully, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. It’d be stupid to go into the Valley…and I’d like to think that I’m not stupid.”
“Oh god!” she groaned. Then, Jay leaned her head on my shoulder and burst into tears.
We stayed like that for a long time—until her sobs ceased and her tears dried up.
* * * *
Jay held my hand tightly as we walked back into the compound. When we turned to part—her to the clinic, me to the mansion—she pulled me into a tight embrace.
“I love you, Kaylee Michelson,” she said. Then, she pushed me back, holding me by my shoulders and looking me straight in the eye. “Do you remember the first rule of Doctor Who?”
Since I’d sat through enough of the British television show to actually be able to answer that question, I nodded. “The Doctor lies.”
“The Doctor lies,” repeated Jay. “Then, he goes out and destroys them, whoever it is—the Daleks, the Cybermen, the Weeping Angels—he takes them all out and he saves the day.”
“I’m just going for supplies. I swear, Jay. You’re getting all bent out of shape and you’ve got, like this fiction going on in your brain…but all I’m doing is going scavenging.”
Jay held up her little finger. “Swear it again.”
I linked my little finger with hers. “I swear it.”
She shrugged. “Then, that’s what I’ll tell everybody. Exactly that…that you’re out scavenging.” Once again, tears threatened; her eyes became moist and she struggled to hold in her emotions. “But the Doctor lies, Kaylee—and so do you.”
* * * *
The night before I was to leave, Jacob actually showed up in our bed.
I was moments away from sleep, when the mattress suddenly buckled and a body eased down next to mine. My back was to Jacob and it took a moment for me to decide whether or not I should turn around. Frankly, I was afraid of what I would find—no doubt, the tenseness of his back muscles, his head turned away from me.
But, when I did finally turn over—Jacob was actually facing me. His eyes were half-open and I found myself staring directly into ice-blue.
“You’re awake,” he murmured, looking happy. “I was hoping you’d be still awake.”
He’d been drinking—not a lot, but I could smell the beer on his breath. It wafted toward me, along with the scent of fresh air, salt water, and…Jacob.
“Were you surfing?” I asked.
“Little Dume…Nate and me.”
I tensed when he spoke of Nate, wondering if the secret of our expedition had been revealed. When Jacob didn’t continue, however—I relaxed.
Meanwhile, he reached out a hand, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. “Sorry I wasn’t at the Council meeting this afternoon. I should have been, being as it’s your last day here and everything before you take off on your little…expedition.”
“No worries,” I shrugged. “You’re here now.”
He leaned forward and kissed me gently on my lips. It was the first time I had felt Jacob’s touch in weeks. A soft groan escaped me before I could catch myself.
“Does that mean you forgive me?” Jacob grinned. He kissed me again, harder this time and I could taste the beer on his breath—dark and tangy.
“How much have you had to drink?” I asked, when Jacob finally pulled back; his eyes were becoming unfocused, his lids struggling to stay open.
“Too much and not enough…Want to know a secret?” he murmured, moving even closer to me. His body pressed up against mine—warm and familiar.
I nodded.
Jacob took my hand and placed it on his chest. I could feel his muscles rippling under my fingers and I felt a knot of heat begin to unfurl deep inside of me.
“Here is my secret,” he whispered, leaning forward, so his forehead was touching mine. “My wife is leaving tomorrow and I am absolutely terrified that I will never see her again.” Then, he put one finger against his lips and said, “Shhh…don’t tell her, okay?”
This declaration was followed with a large yawn. He moved back on the bed, settling onto his pillow, as if satisfied that he had finally told the truth.
I leaned over him. “If you were afraid of not seeing her, then why have you been so distant…why have you stayed away?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Jacob murmured, running his finger down my cheek, his blue eyes gazing up into mine. “Because she deserves better.”
* * * *
Whether it was because of the alcohol or my leaving the next day—whatever the reason—Jacob and I were finally husband and wife again. We stayed awake for hours, talking, kissing—making love.
He didn’t want me to go on the expedition in the morning; that much was certain. But Jacob also told me that he wasn’t going to stand in my way.
“I just have to trust that you’ll come back again,” he said—as if trying to convince himself. “Because you’re the leader now—and I think it’s important that the tribe sees you doing these kinds of things. That you’re not one of those chiefs who just sits in his mansion and lets everyone else do the hard stuff.”
“Don’t worry,” I told Jacob, between kisses. “I absolutely…positively…will be coming home again. It’s just a little while…and then I’ll be back.”
He kissed me hard, then—holding my face between his hands. “And I
want us to talk when you get back. Like really talk—work things out.”
My heart flip-flopped; I suddenly felt more hopeful than I’d been in a long time.
“I’d like that, Jacob.”
His arms slipped around me, pulling my body close. “Things are gonna’ get better now, I think,” he yawned. “With the Crazies backing off we’ll have more time for ourselves.”
The Crazies backing off?!
Was he delusional—or had he simply not being paying attention?
Or was this his version of ‘hope’?
* * * *
When I awoke in the morning—Jacob was gone.
I was more than a little hurt by his absence, but then I remembered all we had shared the night before. Most likely, Jacob was—even now—down in the compound arranging for hot water to be brought up for my bath. Or, perhaps, he was over in the food line, preparing a tray of almost-stale cereal and orange slices to be brought lovingly up to our bedside for the two of us to share.
Feeling slightly better, I rose from the bed and walked over to the window, wondering what the weather would be like for the start of my ‘expedition’.
As with the last few days, the sun shone brightly—barely a cloud in the sky.
I stretched my arms above my head, yawning. My body ached slightly, sore in a good way—from having been a tad too energetic the night before. And what a wonderful time it had been—how I had missed such ‘closeness’ with Jacob—just talking, caring, loving.
For a moment, I wondered if perhaps I should cancel the trip into the Conejo Valley—or, at least, change its objectives. Selfishly—after my night with Jacob—I wanted nothing more at that moment than to continue re-discovering my relationship with the boy that I loved.
And I might have done just that…even if it would have been detrimental, perhaps even fatal to our tribe.
Except that I heard the slamming of a door.
When I looked down, I saw Jacob descending the mansion’s massive front staircase. He was moving quickly, a smile on his face, heading toward the gate that led into the main compound. As he did, I saw a figure emerge from behind a rosebush.
