Her smile faltered. She stared at his hand as if it were a circling barracuda. Her fingers finally lifted to his, and they stepped down to the dance floor.
J.D. and Dahlia cheered, but Maggie’s face crumpled.
What could he do to help her? With her hand still in his, he twirled her then dipped her back. Low.
J.D. giggled. “Do it again, Daddy.”
With Maggie gazing up at him, Josh fought to get his bearings. An almost smile lifted her full lips. Good grief, the urge to kiss her seized him like an undertow, sweeping away the last of his good sense. He pulled her up close to his chest. She still fit nicely there, like she always had. Warmth spread through him, familiar as home and the sea and the tides, yet tantalizing and terrifying as a waterspout traveling straight toward him. Before he realized it, the song ended.
Maggie pushed away, curls hanging across one cheek. Her chin dipped. “Can you take everyone home, say prayers with Dahlia? I need... I want to go see Cammie now.”
“Of course. I got this.”
“I’ll go tell them goodbye.”
And as quickly as an anchor dropping in deep water, she disappeared.
Chapter 12
SHADOWS STRETCHED ACROSS the hospital parking lot between the hazy glow of streetlights. Maggie parked and let her head drop against the cool steering wheel.
Oh, Josh. Why do you have to be so stinking wonderful?
The way his arms had laced around her, strong yet gentle. The way he made her laugh. The way she fit right into the crook of his shoulder. The few moments tucked there set her heart adrift aimlessly into that hollow sea of the past.
Tonight had been yet another glimmer of the life she might’ve had. Was it the knowing or the not knowing that dealt the harshest blow? She’d need a mountain escape once their lives got settled. If they did get settled. Maybe someplace in the Smoky Mountains away from the oceans and tides. Like Gatlinburg. She hadn’t been there in a while. Or North Carolina. Someplace with a lawn chair on the porch of a remote cabin, someplace she could stare out into the cool mist of a fog-laden valley.
Last time she’d taken Cammie and Dahlia, the cabin she’d rented had a hummingbird feeder. The tiny colorful creatures had entertained them for hours. That and the hot tub. She could do that again, add a little hiking, and the plan sounded perfect for forgetting this whole mess. And Josh.
Of course...Cammie may not ever hike again. The realization rolled over Maggie like a swollen mountain river. No. She couldn’t think like that. They had to get Cammie well. God needed to heal Cammie. He owed their family that much.
She’d already lost her parents, her home, and the love of her life.
Not Cammie, too, Lord. I’m begging you. I need her to heal. I need her to make it.
Headlights flashed across the lot, and Maggie lifted her head. She should pick up the pieces and go inside, not sit in the parking lot like a weirdo. Sucking in a breath which raised a bit of the residual turnip green aroma, she exited the car and retrieved her computer from the trunk. A Gulf breeze kicked up and caressed her cheeks, almost soothing the war raging inside her. Funny how deceptive the wind and water could be. One day a gift, another day, they blasted until you were bent and broken and empty.
She made the familiar journey to the ICU waiting room and plopped into a seat. She had thirty minutes to wait until they let the families back. That would give her time to decompress and check the forecasts at the National Hurricane Center, as if those two things were possible simultaneously.
“Hey. I heard you were looking for me.” Angie appeared from seemingly nowhere and sank into a chair beside Maggie. Instead of scrubs, the nurse wore jeans and a T-shirt. “I thought I might catch you here. We should exchange cell numbers.”
“They said you were off today. I hope you didn’t make a special trip.” She hadn’t left a message for her. Maggie swept a glance over Cammie’s high school friend. No makeup and her red hair in a ponytail.
“My son has a stuffy nose, and I needed to run out to pick up a decongestant. It wasn’t out of the way. Can I help you somehow?”
Stuffy nose? Maggie’s stomach lurched, and she scooted away to allow a few more inches between them. If Cammie caught something, it could be dangerous. “Is it contagious? The kids played together.”
“No fever, so I doubt it.”
She doubted it? Where was the hand sanitizer? They better get this conversation over quickly, so Angie could leave with her germs. “I wanted to ask you about Dr. Castro. Nurses usually hear things, right? Is he a good doctor? A nice guy?”
“The best. I’d want him for my doctor. He’s a very nice man, too. Well respected in the community.”
Whew. “Great. That’s all. You can go back to your little boy.” Maggie gave a little wave. “Thank you.” See you later. Don’t go near Cammie.
“You’re welcome.” Angie inched forward but didn’t stand. “You know, Graham says Josh is the best pilot he’s ever worked with. It’s like Josh has a special sense about the sea. He’s meticulous. In tune with the river. If there’s a rescue, they want Josh leading the way.”
And why did Angie feel the need to share this? “That’s all he ever wanted. To be a pilot like my father.” More than he wanted anything else.
“But you want him to give it up?”
Really? This was none of her business. They weren’t that good of friends. Angie had always been close to Cammie. Maggie checked the time on her phone. Still twenty minutes before she could escape to visit her sister.
Angie hadn’t moved. She sat there waiting.
“The Gulf stole my father.” Bitterness surged through Maggie’s veins like toxic waste burning and poisoning her attitude. “My boyfriend, who was also my best friend, left the family he claimed to love when we needed him most. To become a pilot.”
“Hadn’t he already left for the Merchant Marine Academy before Katrina hit?” Angie’s cross-examination was becoming more and more maddening. Each question dredged up additional wreckage from Maggie’s past, laying open the festering wound she’d covered for so long.
“He’d barely gotten started at Kings Point when the hurricane made landfall.” A lump formed in Maggie’s throat. “My family had always been there for Josh growing up. My dad was like a father to him. All those years. Then when we needed... I needed him...”
“Oh.” Chewing her lip, Angie gave a slow nod. “We lost our house, too, but no one from our family. I’m sure it was a tough time.”
The understatement of the decade. “It was.”
“Maybe staying the course was his way of honoring your father.”
“Maybe.” Maggie checked the time again. Since when did the clock move so slowly? “What does it matter now?”
“I remember how close y’all were. Josh is a good man, and that J.D. is a doll. Circumstances have thrown you together again. The way he looked at you the other night... You two might have another chance if you could let go of the past. Move beyond the anger and the fear. The resentment and bitterness have to be getting old.”
“Resentment and bitterness?” What had Cammie been telling people? Or was it Josh?
“It’s obvious you’re still holding onto that anger. Forgiving him for not being there for you could free you from all that baggage. It could free you to move forward. Maybe even forward with him. Together.”
So now she looked like a bitter bag lady. A twinge of guilt warred against her defensiveness. She hadn’t really wanted to forgive Josh even after all this time. Blaming him for her hurt kept her from turning her anger to more dangerous places.
Possibly unholy places.
And if she forgave Josh, it opened her up to deeper digging into that place where blame and hurt had hollowed her out... Her throat tightened. If she forgave Josh, she’d have to allow the questions to come again. Questions like why God had allowed such death and destruction to be unleashed. Why weren’t her prayers answered? She’d cried out for God to weaken the hurricane. She’d begged for i
t to dissipate, to miss her hometown, her house. She’d pleaded for her father to make it home.
And His answer had hurt. Still did. It had wounded her faith. Hadn’t her family been devoted servants? They’d tried to follow Him. Follow His Word. Didn’t He love them? Didn’t He hear their cries?
“I can’t do this right now.” Maggie covered her face with her palms, tears stinging her eyelids. “I have to be strong for my family.”
“Sometimes, you can let other people be strong, hold you up. You don’t have to do everything yourself. I go to the same church as Cammie. I can set up meals for y’all, some help with Dahlia, Ruth, the store even. And you can let Josh help while he’s here. Let that wall down you’ve got built up about him...about coming home.”
Good grief. Why was the woman stuck on Josh? Maggie’s jaw clamped shut. She didn’t need Angie’s psychoanalysis, and there were plenty of restaurants in downtown Ocean Springs where they could buy dinner. And the store? How would they know if they could trust someone in the store? Cammie wouldn’t allow that.
“Come on, Maggie.” Angie’s tone softened. “At least let me set up the meals a few times a week for Dahlia and Ruth.”
Dahlia and Aunt Ruth needed decent food. “We can exchange numbers if you want. I’m sure a lot of people are traveling for the holidays, though, so if you need to wait on starting the dinners, I understand.”
“Let me worry about that.” Angie touched a few buttons on the screen of her phone and held it out. “Type your information here. I’ll get something going.”
Maggie complied, and Angie left promising to set up a couple of dinners the following week, if possible. If not, then after Thanksgiving.
How long would Cammie need her to be at the Coast? The doctor had said several days in ICU, then a room, then rehab. Maggie did a quick calculation. She’d need to take a leave of absence from work. Again. How often did they allow family leave? She’d worked hard to move up in the ranks since her mother’s passing, and the Weather Service would hold a job for her, but maybe not the same position.
The door opened to the ICU, and Maggie stood. It didn’t matter what job she held. Cammie’s health was most important. Family was what mattered. And the idea of letting God’s people help out lifted a bit of the weight from her shoulders.
She followed the too-familiar faces of the other families down the hall until she reached Cammie’s room. Dr. Castro sat in a chair beside the bed, smiling like they hadn’t a care in the world. The man sure did visit his patients an awful lot.
And the blush on Cammie’s bruised cheeks indicated she was enjoying the visit. A lot. Their gazes seemed to be locked on each other.
“Knock, knock.” Maggie spoke quietly but felt the need to announce her presence since neither Cammie nor Dr. Castro had glanced her way.
“Oh, hey.” The doctor stood and swept his hand toward the chair he’d vacated. “Take my seat. I should finish my rounds anyway.” He smiled once more at Cammie. “See you in the morning. Keep up the good work.”
“Wait. What’s the news? What work?” Someone needed to give her some specifics. This affected too many lives not to know.
“Your sister has been compliant and still, which has allowed the swelling to go down. Then she allowed me to stick her with a needle.” His grin broadened. “And she felt it.”
Her sister’s tired eyes twinkled. “I moved my toes a little bit, too.”
Hope surged inside Maggie’s chest. “Now that does sound like good news.” Maybe God was answering their prayers this time.
“It’s great news. See you tomorrow.” The doctor left them alone to the sound of beeps and whirs of machines.
Maggie took his place in the chair. “So he’s really...friendly.”
“He’s wonderful. If I have to go through this junk, at least the staff is nice.”
“Angie came by a minute ago. She’s setting up dinners for us, starting soon.”
“Perfect.” She took a small gasp of air. “That’ll help. How’s the store?”
“It’s fine. Should I board up the windows soon? Josh helped with the ones at the house, although he still hadn’t covered his own the last time I looked.”
“No. Do not board the store.”
“Why?”
“Not unless you see the bakery down the street close. They’re always the last one.” She sucked in a shaky breath. “Need the business open.”
“Whatever you say.” And if the store got wind damage, maybe insurance would pay it off, and they’d finally move up to Jackson. “Can I bring you something from home? Or the gift shop? It’s still open.”
“Brush my hair? They put toiletries in the nightstand.”
“Sorry. I should’ve thought of that.” Maggie opened the drawer and grabbed the small brush. It wasn’t like she hadn’t cared for a hospital patient. “You look pretty, as always.” She fought the tremble in her hand as she ran the brush gently across the silky honey-colored strands, the color their mother’s had been before it grayed, then was lost due to the chemo. There was an intimacy in caregiving. A bittersweet closeness that bore into a person, forming a sad but indescribable bond. “I can wash your face, put lotion on your hands and feet, if it’s okay with the nurses.”
“They gave me a sponge bath. No need to worry about the rest for now.” Her eyes widened. “Unless I smell bad or something.”
“You’re fine.” She laid her palm against Cammie’s cheek. “Always beautiful.” She smiled and tweaked Cammie’s nose. “And smelling fresh as a flower.” Her father’s favorite saying popped right out.
“You’re a good baby sister, you know?”
“Best one you’ve got.”
“Josh is helping you?”
That came out of nowhere. “Yeah.”
“He’s a good guy. Always has been.”
“Okay.” Where was this going?
“Go on back home now. Give Dahlia a kiss from me.” Her sister’s lips quirked. “Maybe give Josh one from you.”
“Stop. Not happening. The Josh part anyway.”
“You can at least be friends now, right?”
“That I’m taking care of business is all the business you need to know.” She pressed a kiss on Cammie’s forehead. “I love you, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything.”
The halls seemed quieter as she retraced her path to the front door. Melancholy stole over her despite the good news about Cammie. She’d hoped before, prayed before, trusted before. The fall from the heights of hope hurt something fierce. Better to keep expectations low. She pushed that small parcel of emotion back to the closet cloaked in shadows where it belonged. Out of the glaring brightness of disappointment.
Back at the house, light spilled from the corner of the boarded windows, illuminating the wooden panels at odd angles. Brightness shone from Josh’s house too. Everyone must still be up and awake. Should she share the news of Cammie’s improvement or keep it to herself? Just to make sure they weren’t crushed with disappointment later.
The door of the house opened as Maggie approached.
“How’s Mama?” Wrapped in a pink leopard-print fleece robe, Dahlia stepped onto the porch.
Behind her, Josh stood with J.D. snuggled close to his shoulder, the boy’s eyes barely open. Josh’s penetrating gaze and serious expression held the same question Dahlia had just asked.
“She’s good. I saw the doctor, and your mother’s improving.”
“Like how?” Dahlia’s big brown eyes searched hers, likely looking for some kind of miracle. Maggie knew that look. Had lived that look.
“She feels a little better.” True enough.
“God’s taking care of her. And you.” Josh wrapped an arm around her niece. He kissed her head. “Goodnight. See y’all tomorrow.”
Of course, he’d keep reminding her.
Quietly, with light steps, he came off the porch but paused by Maggie. “I’m here for you.” His blue gaze intensified with the words.
Wa
rmth spread through her at the simple phrase. How long had she waited for those words?
Too long.
Chapter 13
“SURE, ANGIE. I’LL TAKE care of them for the weekend. My little buddy and I will come up with something good.” Josh said goodbye, ended the call, and laid his phone on the coffee table. He and J.D. had gotten dressed for the day and had been talking about making an early morning trip to the grocery store. What would Dahlia and Ruth want for dinner Saturday and Sunday? A more frightening question was what would Maggie have to say about the assignment? Angie insisted that Maggie had agreed to let the church bring dinner, but that didn’t mean Maggie would be expecting him and J.D. to be the first official deliverers.
“Who was that, Daddy?”
“Miss Angie wants us to make dinner for Dahlia and her family tonight. What do you think would be good?”
J.D.’s face lit up, eyes wide. “Captain cereal with bananas. That’s got fruit, so it’s healthy.”
“Enough with the cereal ideas.” Sweeping his son into his lap, Josh tickled J.D.’s ribs. “We need a good hearty supper that’ll put some meat on their bones. Like right here.” He dug in just hard enough to make him laugh without hurting him.
Giggles poured from J.D., bursting through Josh’s trepidation about the dinner like sunshine in the midst of a hail storm.
“Stop, Daddy.” More chortles. “Stop.”
“Okay.” He stopped, set J.D. on the floor. “So do you have a better idea than cereal now?”
“Um, you could make boiled strimp and batatoes in the big pot.”
“Mmm. Good one, buddy. So we’ll skip the grocery and get a few things at the seafood market.” He wasn’t really in the mood for a big shopping trip anyway. Josh stood and grabbed his keys from the coffee table. “Let’s shove off.”
Forty-five minutes later, J.D. had examined all the crabs, oysters, and shrimp, and they’d picked out what they needed from behind the counter and stood in the long line to pay. Now that he’d loaded up the seafood and veggies, he should let Maggie know. He punched out a text while he waited.
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