No one had hurt her like Josh.
He’d found love and moved on. When the news came about his marriage, her heart died a second death. She’d secretly mourned for over a year. Wondered how he could’ve fallen for someone when she hadn’t. Then insisted that no one update her about him or even speak of him. Her eyes stung at the memory.
Since their talk at the hospital, they’d shared meals, played games with the kids, and taken turns running household errands. As if they were a couple. Josh hadn’t pressured her for more kisses.
Warring emotions tussled over that missing element. Was he giving her space? Or did avoiding kisses make it easier for him?
Because that one kiss haunted her day and night.
The phone sounded again.
I’ve got Elf or National Treasure.
That stinker. He’d picked two movies they’d first seen together, and he knew she’d loved them both back then. Still did.
Just like she still loved him.
The thought smacked her like a hard slap. She did love him. Of course. So how did that affect her answer now? Letting him back in her life in a romantic way would blast open the last bastion of this Pandora’s Box, exposing her heart.
Her fingers hovered over the screen, at last pressing one letter before sending.
K
One letter. One letter that could shred her heart.
She slid off the bed and shoved her feet in her flip-flops.
When she passed the mirror on the dresser, she did a double take and groaned. “That will not do at all.” Between the humid air and wallowing on the pillows, her hair had formed a gigantic snarled beehive. She captured the disobedient mass and twisted until she had it tamed enough to fit in a clip.
Mashing her dry lips together, she grabbed a lip gloss and spread a shiny layer around. No sense looking totally gross. Mouthwash might help, too.
A few minutes and a tooth-brushing later, she sucked in a minty breath and ran across the sloshing yard, up the steps and onto Josh’s porch. She tapped lightly on the door. She didn’t want to wake J.D.
The precipitation had slacked enough for her not to be totally drenched, but her flip-flops and feet dripped from splashing through a puddle or two. She lifted each foot and shook it, as if that would help. What was taking Josh so long? Should she go on in? She stared at the rain flowing through the yards and streets. The scarred live oaks stood tall and strong, bearing the storm well enough despite their wounds. Much better than her scarred heart, which seemed to be beating out of her chest at the thought of simply watching an old movie with Josh Bergeron.
HOW HARD WAS IT TO open a door? Josh steadied his shaking hands near the knob.
Just watching a movie with Maggie Marovich. No big deal.
But he still couldn’t believe she’d said yes. Well, in not so many letters, but it was a start. He glanced around once more to make sure everything looked clean enough. Not perfect, but he’d hustled to sweep and dust the living room before he’d sent the text. Then he’d made popcorn. He reached for the knob.
Lord, help me to...just help me, please.
He opened the door to find Maggie staring up at the rain and the trees. The sight of her profile outlined against the downpour unlocked pain and hope and memories, punctuated by the scent of the salty Gulf air. “Hey, there.”
The muscles in her strong, beautiful jaw ticked before she turned and offered a hesitant smile. “What took you so long?”
“Making popcorn with real melted butter to pour over the top. I seem to remember someone liking to drench her popcorn.”
Her eyes flashed before she rolled them. “I gave that luxury up when I started sitting at a desk all day, or else my grandmother’s hips would show even more.”
He couldn’t stop his gaze from raking over her. “Your hips are fine. And please don’t refer to them as your grandmother’s. Ever.”
A chuckle bounced through her, lighting up her entire face. “Sorry for the weird visual.”
Not much could stop him from enjoying the picture standing before him. “I’ll let you in anyway. So, no butter?”
One shoulder lifted as she strode through the door. “Go ahead and throw it on. I’m living dangerously already.”
Boy, he liked the sound of that. “Have a seat on the couch. Greasy popcorn and Coke coming your way.” In the kitchen, Josh dumped the snack in a big bowl and drizzled the butter around. How many times had they sat on her parents’ sofa, snuggled as close as possible to watch movies? The memory made his hands and lips tingle, and he hurried back to the living room to plop down next to her. Not as close as way back when, but as near as he dared. “Here’s your Coke.”
Her brows scrunched together as she studied him and took the drink. “There’s a whole couch here, you know.”
“We can both reach the bowl this way.”
“You only own one?”
“No, but—”
“Just hand over the popcorn.” The slight smirk made her lips quirk as if she were trying not to smile.
“Figures you’d start hogging it already.” He placed the bowl on her lap.
She huffed. “Because you eat way too fast.”
“You’re right.” He winked and grinned.
“Of course, I’m right. Play the movie.” She threw several pieces of the buttery snack in her mouth.
“Which one?”
“You know I like them both, so you pick.”
He grabbed the remote and punched play. “In honor of the start of Christmas season, I put in Elf. J.D.’s not old enough for some of the plot yet.”
The music from the previews blared, and he lowered the volume.
Maggie slowed her eating. “Probably not the best one for Dahlia yet, either.”
“Especially with her questions about her father.”
“Wait.” Her head jerked toward him, and she set the bowl on the table. “Press stop and explain.”
Complying, he rehashed the conversations he and Dahlia’d had recently about fathers.
Maggie shook her head. “So unfair.”
Josh swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’m sure J.D. will have the same kind of issues over his mother at some point.”
“What’s with his mother anyway? What happened? What’s she like?” Maggie’s arms waved around in her typical dramatic fashion. “I don’t understand. She must’ve been nuts. Even with all my hang-ups, I’d never leave that little boy.” She scoffed and nodded toward the window. “No matter what the stinking weather was.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” And he didn’t really want to talk more about his ex-wife. He wanted to talk about him and Maggie. “About not leaving... What about me? Have you thought more about us?”
“Josh, I was asking you about his mother. I want to understand. Is she anything like me?”
A bitter laugh slipped through Josh’s lips. “She’s a woman.”
Her gaze nailed him. “I’m being serious.”
Trisha. He may as well get this over with. But how could he describe his ex without diving into a deep black hole of anger. “Not like you. She makes a great first impression.”
Maggie’s brows scrunched, but she didn’t say anything.
Way to flatter, knucklehead. “That didn’t come out right. It’s just she was quite a socialite. We met at the gym, and I ran into her a few times at events at the yacht club. She invited me to several high-dollar fundraisers for charities as her date.” His jaw tightened. Why had he fallen into her trap? “I was lonely, I guess.”
“So you married her because you were lonely?” Her head shook like that didn’t compute.
“Well, she was attractive, too.”
She sighed. “Attractive. Got it. Then what?”
Then the real Trisha surfaced. “She lived for the Coast society life. I mean, pilots make good money, but she could blow through our accounts fast. We had talks, more like arguments, about how I didn’t believe in going into debt. I wanted to live within our means.” He shru
gged and clucked his tongue. “It never made any difference. The pregnancy came soon after we married and was an accident—she’d been on an antibiotic. I tried even harder to make things work. She wasn’t happy about becoming a mother. While she continued to live at the gym, I worried about the baby.”
“Oh, Josh. I bet you did.” Her hand covered his, her warmth comforting him.
Was she actually sympathizing with him? Maybe they did have a chance.
“Once J.D. was born, she started traveling with single friends. Going to social events while I stayed home with J.D. It didn’t take her long to find a new, wealthier husband.”
Maggie shook her head, looked at their hands, and then met his gaze again. “I’m sorry for dredging this up. I just wanted to understand.” She let out an extended breath. “At least I know the basics, not that I totally get it.”
Neither did he. “That’s the short version.” In a way, it was good to get his past out in the open with Maggie. She knew him better than most, even though they’d been apart over ten years. Would she let him closer...let him back into her heart? “So?”
“What?” She cocked her head.
He inhaled a shaky breath. “I love you, Maggie. Always have. Could there be an us again? It’ll be brutal being around you otherwise. Not that I wouldn’t suffer through it for J.D.’s sake.”
Mashing her lips together, she stared at the stilled image on the TV. “I don’t know. If something happens to you out there while you’re working, I just don’t know how I’d go on if we...”
His free hand traveled to her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. “You can’t keep your heart buried in the wreckage. Don’t let fear chase your life away. You’ll only end up alone.”
Moisture gathered on her long dark lashes. “Josh, I do love you, but—”
The phone on the table broke the moment.
No. Not now.
It was the ring he’d designated for his boss. Maybe it wasn’t a crisis, but with the rain, the cold front, and the likely fog at sea...
He stared at the aggravating invention.
“Just answer, Josh, or they’ll keep calling like last time.”
“Promise me you won’t lose that thought. Except maybe you could forget the ‘but.’” He grabbed the cell and accepted the call. “This is Josh.”
“We’ve got an emergency. Need all hands on deck if you have someone to watch your son.”
His chin dropped to his chest. “What happened?”
“Loaded cruise ship is in trouble. A lot of fog out there and shifting northwesterly winds. We really need you.”
“Hold on.” He glanced at Maggie and pressed mute. This would make or break things for them, no doubt. “A cruise ship in trouble.”
Her mouth dropped open, and her hand slipped away from his, cool air replacing her warmth.
“I won’t go if you don’t—”
“Do what you have to do.”
The thought of leaving split him in two.
Her gaze fell to the floor. “Do you have a will? Who’s J.D.’s guardian?”
“Yeah, my mother. But, Maggie, nothing’s going to happen.”
“You don’t know that. Just go do your job. I can’t talk about anything else right now.”
The phone weighed his hand down like an overfilled tanker, but he pressed the button to unmute it and lifted it to his ear. “On my way.”
Chapter 25
LETTING JOSH WALK OUT that door released a chilling fear deep in Maggie’s bones. A fear that swept over her like a rip current grabbing hold and pulling her under. She struggled for air, anxiety locking down her lungs. It sent her sinking to her knees like a heavy chest plummeting to the bottom of the ocean’s floor.
Tears flooded her vision, cascaded down her cheeks. She longed to beg and scream to God for Josh’s protection, but she couldn’t wake that sleeping angel in the back of the house.
Josh...so much like her father. Duty bound. Brave. Strong.
Her heart squeezed at the memory, and her chest shook. No longer able to keep the sobs inside, she rose, made her way to the front door, and stepped out onto the porch of Josh’s house. Leaning over the railing, she spoke into falling rain. “Please, God, don’t let his life end the same way as Daddy’s did. Place your hand of protection over Josh. Still the wind and the waves at just the right time. God, J.D. can’t lose him. I can’t lose him.”
More words and pleas and groans flowed from her lips toward the heavens. The harder she prayed, the more big fat raindrops fell, like tears from heaven.
“Maggie?” Above the downpour, a scratchy voice called from next door. “What are you doing out? You’ll be sick again.”
“Aunt Ruth?” Maggie turned and squinted to confirm she wasn’t imagining things. Through her tears, she focused on the elderly woman standing in the entryway next door.
“Come here, child.” Her aunt waved her over.
“I can’t leave J.D.” Her voice quivered. “Josh got called out.”
“Just come to the porch then.” Aunt Ruth’s fists went to her hips. “Don’t make me walk over there.”
A sigh worked its way through Maggie’s teeth. “Just for a minute.” What was so stinking urgent? Had something happened to Cammie? Or to Dahlia?
Cold and clammy, Maggie ran through the yard, sloshing water on her feet and legs. Breathless, she reached the top step. “What’s wrong?”
“You need me.”
“I need you?” Had Aunt Ruth finally lost it? Or was she sleepwalking?
“The Lord sends me nudges sometimes. I try to follow when He does.”
Still not helpful. “Okay.”
“I was snoozing in my bedroom with the TV on, and He nudged me. Nothing audible, but clearly I was to go onto the porch and help Maggie.”
“A nudge?”
“That’s what I call them. It’s like an urge from above.” Aunt Ruth held out her arms. “Come here, darling girl.”
Her aunt hadn’t ever been super affectionate or mushy—more a steady, comforting presence all their lives—but Maggie stepped closer. “I’m wet.” She searched Aunt Ruth’s face. Did her aunt see her swollen, red-rimmed eyes?
“I won’t melt. Let someone comfort you.”
Comfort did sound good. Shoulders quivering, Maggie moved into the embrace. Her emotions were too raw to hold back the tears, and they flowed onto her aunt’s shoulder. Her nose stung, but warmth and love flowed back from the thin woman who had always been there for her family.
“Magnolia.”
“Yes?” Maggie sniffled and lifted her head.
“Your faith can’t keep tossing and turning with the wind.” Aunt Ruth rubbed up and down Maggie’s shoulder. “Sooner or later, you must decide, ‘Though He slay me, still I will trust Him.’ Know that He is with you when you pass through the rough waters of life.”
“I know you’re right, but I don’t know how. It’s so hard to let my heart hope.”
“Let your hope be in the Lord. Let your faith come from knowing He loves you, no matter what kind of storm whirls around you.”
Maggie swallowed the panic strangling her and allowed her aunt’s words to seep into her soul. Everything her aunt said made sense. Maggie took a cleansing breath. Living out that kind of faith took such trust. A trust she would strive toward. “Thank you. Thank you for being faithful and listening for those nudges.”
“You’re welcome. I love you like a daughter.”
“I love you, too. Like another mother.” And she did. Maggie released her and took a step back. “Pray for Josh. And me. I need to get back inside. J.D. might wake up.”
“I pray for you every day. Always have. I’ve been adding Josh and that sweet boy, too, for some time now.” The door hinges creaked as her aunt pushed it open, but then she stopped. “Listen for your own nudges from the Lord, sweet Maggie.”
“I’ll try.” The warmth of her aunt’s words enveloped her as she splashed back across the puddles in the grass. Inside Josh’s house,
she shut the door against the wet, cold rain and shook off her flip-flops. Water dripped from her skin. She hadn’t left anything to change into here, so she’d have to raid Josh’s closet for a dry T-shirt and gym shorts.
Tiptoeing down the hall, she peeked in on J.D. The child slept curled in a ball, the nightlights revealing a sweet smile on his lips. He had no inkling his father was gone, possibly in danger. Maggie moved on to Josh’s room and found one of his shirts, then slipped it over her head and snuggled under the covers. The sleep of trust. How she longed for that.
THE CRUISE SHIP TOWERED over the pilot boat like a dark, jagged mountain in the fog. It had been a long, wild ride out on rough waters, and transferring to the large vessel would likely be challenging. A ship this size would be difficult to control in heavy winds. They’d called out tugboats to assist, and even with the help, there would be a chance of losing control of her or having her break loose from the towing cable. In that case, she would be at the mercy of wind and seas and, in these waters, probably grounding or washing up on a rock jetty. With a full ship of travelers, Josh couldn’t let anything happen on his watch.
Once Graham was safely aboard to pilot the lead tug and they’d confirmed the radio connection, Josh secured his harness to the railing and wiped the moisture from his eyes. Visibility wasn’t zero, but it was bad enough.
Lights shone from the tugboats alongside and in front of the stranded vessel, but bobbed out of sight when the giant swells rolled between them. The engine fire that left the ship and its passengers stranded had been put out, and no lives had been lost. Yet. The violent wind and waves had come up quickly and pulled them into this quagmire, otherwise no pilot in their right mind would attempt to navigate the pass. Now they had no choice but to make the attempt. Tugging the ship into safe harbor would be hard enough without the monster waves crashing around them. Josh was well acquainted with the crew and captains on the tugs, though. Good, experienced men. And they all understood the risks.
Magnolia Storms Page 20
