“When we were married, you didn’t let anything get in the way of your career. You picked up and headed off to medical school. You vanished on me for four years when you knew I needed you with me.”
“Needed me with you to do what? Keep house? Cater company dinners? Serve whiskey to the partners from your law firm? I’m not a decoration. You knew I’d always had my heart set on medical school. You even supported me through college.” Her chest ached. Once, she had considered his financial support a tangible symbol of his love for her.
“Yeah, but I didn’t think you would get accepted into medical school.”
“And that, Darren, is the single biggest difference between you and Rowan. He helped me accomplish what I wanted even when he thought it would spell the end of our relationship. You undermined me. He built me up.”
“Undermined you? How could I possibly have undermined you when you didn’t need me at all? You could always find your own way. You never needed me, never needed anyone else.”
How wrong he was. Perhaps she hadn’t needed him financially or professionally, but she had needed him emotionally. Instead, he had starved her emotions and her confidence for thirteen years. Vera shook her head. “I didn’t come here to argue about a marriage that fell apart years ago. Rowan and I are getting married, and I’m moving to New York with Allison.”
“For Christ’s sake, Vera. You’ve known this guy for what…three months, four months? How much do you know about him? You don’t even know how he lives out there. He’s a model. He’s probably got a crazy celebrity lifestyle. For all you know, he could be shooting heroin into his eyeballs.”
“I don’t see how my choices concern you anymore.”
He sneered. “It’s not you. It’s Allison. I still have a claim on her, don’t I?”
Vera sighed. “Claim? Stop acting like a lawyer and start thinking like a father instead. You know I would never do anything to endanger her.”
“And rushing into marriage with a model doesn’t endanger her?”
“Rowan is fabulous with Allison. And all those weekends when you don’t come through for Allison, he’s there, picking up your slack.”
“You left my daughter with him? Alone?”
Vera slipped the handles of her tote bag over her shoulder and pushed to her feet. “I don’t think there’s anything else we have to talk about. I’m going back to the clinic.”
Darren’s eyebrows drew together as he frowned. “We haven’t even ordered.”
“Go back to your important meetings, Darren, and I’ll go back to mine.” Tears pricked her eyes. She had shared thirteen years of her life with Darren, and it had taken her fourteen years to realize that she had nothing in common with him—nothing, except a daughter who she loved, a darling child that she knew Rowan loved too.
Chapter 14
Vera dragged duct tape over a large moving box to seal it, the eighth box she had filled that day. She had demurred Rowan’s offer to bring in a moving company; there was little point in packing and moving stuff not worth keeping in the first place, and she was the best judge of whether something was to be kept or tossed. Of course that meant having to do the bulk of the packing herself.
She had made little headway in the past three weeks since she had gotten engaged, but with a week to go to the wedding and then the move to New York, she would have to pick up the pace. Fortunately, that day had been her last day of employment with Pediatric Associates, which left her a full week to do nothing but pack.
Rowan was due to arrive within the hour. If he suspected he was going to be spending his weekend packing up her house, well, he was right.
“House!” Allison crowed as she toddled through a maze of boxes. “Sleep here tonight!” She lay down in a perfectly sized nook created by piles of boxes.
“Daddy’s coming for you soon, Alli-naut,” Vera said. Speaking of which—she glanced at her watch—where was Darren?
Allison scowled. “Don’t want to go! Play with Roan!”
“Rowan and I need to pack, sweetie. You’ll be in the way.”
“Want to stay!”
The doorbell rang. Vera shoved to her feet, maneuvered around the boxes, and opened the door. “Hi, Darren.”
Darren’s blue eyes swept over the piles of boxes. His face was taut. A muscle in his jaw twitched. “You’re not leaving.” He snapped the words out, his voice cold. “If you try to take Allison from Fort Lauderdale, I swear I’ll take you to court and sue for full custody.”
Vera’s hand closed around the door handle so tightly her knuckles turned white. “What are you talking about?”
He snapped a folder at her face. She flinched away. The folder and its contents fell to the floor. “Your fiancé—” His lip curled with disgust at that word. “—is a sexual offender. He was arrested and charged with having sex with minors.”
“No,” Vera gasped.
“It’s all in there.” Darren gestured at the papers scattered at Vera’s feet. “I hired a private detective to check him out. I’m only sorry I didn’t do it earlier.”
“No…” She shook her head. Her heart stuttered; ice shards pierced it. “There’s got to be a mistake. Not Rowan.”
“Yes, Rowan Forrester. The only thing that’s wrong here is your judgment. Where’s my daughter?” He strode into the house and picked up Allison, who screamed and kicked her protest. Darren paid his daughter no heed as he carried her to the car and buckled her into her seat. He glanced over his shoulder to look at Vera. “If you want to see your daughter after this weekend, Rowan better be gone.”
“No! You can’t take her!” She ran after him, her bare feet scraping against asphalt, but Darren sped away.
Her chest heaving with shallow breaths, Vera stood in the middle of the quiet street, staring at the exhaust fumes left by the car. Her mind caught on a loop; Darren’s voice chanted an endless litany. Sexual offender. Sex with minors.
Not Rowan. It couldn’t possibly be Rowan.
Vera walked back to her house like a woman in a daze and knelt to gather the papers Darren had flung in her face. Not Rowan. Please, not Rowan. She dropped to her knees on the carpet in front of the fireplace and began to read.
Rowan parked his rental car in Vera’s driveway, grabbed his backpack from the trunk, and went to her door. He had caught a later flight in from New York; a photo shoot, scheduled late in the day, had run long.
Had Darren already come for Allison? Rowan hoped not. He wanted to say hello to her before she took off for the weekend. He smiled at the thought of the toddler. There was nothing cherubic about Allison. She talked in exclamation points and was more opinionated than many of the divas who dominated the modeling industry, but she was charming to the tips of her little fingers and her ass-kicking grin could melt any heart. She was perfect. He would never have thought to ask for a child like Allison in a ready-made family; his imagination was no match for reality.
Rowan inserted his key into the lock and turned it, but the door was already unlocked. Frowning, he pushed it open. “Vera? Allison?”
He dropped his backpack by the door and walked into the house, which was a chaos of half-filled moving boxes. “Vera, where are you?” He caught a glimpse of movement in the living room and found Vera in front of the fireplace, several sheets of paper spread out in front of her. Her shoulders were slumped, her eyes red-rimmed. He rushed forward. “What’s wrong?”
She shot to her feet, her teeth bared, gritted like a woman in pain. “You…you lied to me!”
“What are you talking about?”
Her fist closed around the paper in her hand, crumpling it. “Darren found it. He found your arrest records?”
“What?”
“When were you going to tell me that you were arrested for having sex with minors?”
Shock punched a fist into his gut. “No, Vera, you—”
“Don’t tell me I don’t understand. When an eighteen-year-old boy has consensual sex with a seventeen-year-old girl and the law calls
it statutory rape, I know the law is overreacting. But you were twenty-three.” Anguish raked her voice. “How could you do that? How can I possibly know Allison is safe with you? How can I trust you with her?”
The raw pain and disbelief in her question staggered him. His mind fumbled for the right words; his tongue tripped over them. “I can—”
“Explain?” She ripped the engagement ring from her finger and flung it at him. It hit his chest and tumbled to the carpet. “I don’t want explanations. Darren will sue for custody of Allison if I marry you and move to New York, and he would be right to do that! I’m not going to let anyone hurt Allison.”
“I would never hurt Allison. Please, let me explain.”
“I want you to get out of here. Now.”
“Damn it, you owe me five minutes—”
“I owe you nothing.” She folded her arms across her chest, but continued to tremble. “I told you, no more lies. I told you I needed your honesty.” Vera shook her head, and her eyes filled with tears. Her voice cracked. “I can’t…trust you.”
“Vera—”
Sobbing, she threw herself forward and pounded the sides of her fists into his chest. Her fury drove him back. He caught her wrists, but she wrenched herself free and shoved her hands against his chest. “I said get out!”
He could have restrained her, but not without hurting her. The deep sobs wracking her body tore at him. The guilt pulsing through him churned with pain, making it nearly impossible to think straight. He knew only one thing: He could not let her go. In spite of her anger slapping at his face like a winter storm, he stepped forward, his arms open, outstretched to hold her.
Vera recoiled, hunching to protect herself, as if she expected to be attacked. Her hands curled into fists, held against her breasts.
That one action, more than anything else, crushed him. Rowan expelled a shuddering breath. The chill that radiated from the pit of his stomach swamped him until he felt cold all over. “Vera—” His voice broke.
She slumped against the kitchen counter as if she needed its support to hold her up. Tears streamed from her eyes. “There’s nothing you can say. Not anymore. Just go. I don’t want to see you again.”
Rowan drove around the city in a daze, his mind churning over fragmented memories of the past hour, until he found himself in front of his sister’s Plantation home. He had not consciously driven toward it, but somehow, some part of him must have known he needed family.
He cut the engine and stared at the neat, suburban house. Light glowed from its windows. Iris, Brad, and Jordan were probably at dinner. Rowan shook his head. He shouldn’t interrupt—His thoughts skittered like a panicked animal.
On autopilot, he got out of the car, locked it, and walked up the driveway to ring the doorbell.
Moments later, Brad swung the door open, a welcoming grin on his face. “Hey, man. Didn’t expect to—” His eyes widened. He grabbed Rowan’s arm and pulled him into the house, before turning to survey the empty street as if expecting a threat. He shut the door. “What happened? You look like hell.”
“Vera…”
“Is she all right?”
Rowan’s mind stumbled over the words. He could hardly get them past his lips. “She broke our engagement.”
“What? Why?” Brad raised his voice. “Iris! Rowan’s here.”
Moments later, Iris scurried out of the dining room. Jordan, her ten-year-old son, scrambled along behind her. “Hey, Uncle Rowan—”
“Not now, Jordan,” Brad cut him off. “Go back and finish your dinner. Mom and I need to talk to Rowan.”
Iris slipped her arm through Rowan’s and led him into the living room. Together, they sank onto the couch. Her eyes searched his face. “What happened?” she asked, her tone a great deal calmer than her husband’s.
Rowan’s breaths shuddered out of him. He fumbled with the words. Why couldn’t he get them past his throat? Did he think that saying them would make the unthinkable real?
“Take a deep breath. Say it fast.”
“She called off the wedding. Darren, her ex-husband, found out about my arrest.”
“Arrest?” Iris’s brow furrowed. “What arrest?”
“Seven years ago.”
A whole minute passed before realization dawned on Iris’s face. “Oh, that arrest.”
Brad looked confused. “Wait. What arrest?”
“When the girl’s father filed charges of sexual assault against Rowan.”
“Oh, that arrest.” Brad shrugged dismissively. “Total bull crap.”
Iris looked at Rowan. “Did you tell Vera the girl lied about her age?”
Rowan sucked in a deep breath. “I tried.”
“Did you tell her the girl refused to testify against you, because even she knew it wasn’t your fault?”
“Vera wouldn’t let me explain.”
“What do you mean she wouldn’t let you explain?”
Rowan shook his head. His gaze locked on the carpet. “She’s so angry, so hurt. She’s afraid, for herself and for her daughter.”
Iris’s jaw dropped. “Allison? She actually thought you would rape Allison?”
“I was charged with having sex with a minor.”
“You had sex with a seventeen-year-old who told you she was twenty years old. Not the same thing.”
“She wouldn’t listen.” Rowan squeezed his eyes shut. A jagged breath tore out of him. “She didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”
“But that—” Iris shook her head. “I don’t understand. It’s not like her. Why wouldn’t she?”
“She said something about Darren filing for custody if she married me, if she tried to move away.”
Brad swore. “Son of a bitch.”
“She’s just trying to protect Allison.” Rowan dragged his fingers through his hair. “Between Darren and I, we’ve backed her into a corner. The only thing she thinks she can still do is protect her daughter, and that means pushing me away.”
“You could have gotten to her before Darren did,” Iris said. “Why didn’t you tell her long before she found out the hard way?”
Rowan ground his teeth. “For the same reason you—both of you—asked, ‘What arrest?’ It was so far in the past, so irrelevant, I’d forgotten.”
“Apparently, she doesn’t think it’s irrelevant.” Iris sighed and sagged into the couch. “I can call her. Maybe she’ll be willing to listen to me.”
“No, it’s my problem, I’ll fix it.”
“Right,” Brad agreed. “If she won’t relent long enough to listen to anything you say, you gotta wonder, is she really the right person to marry?”
Rowan stared at his brother-in-law. Brad was wrong about Vera. She would listen. Rowan had to find a way to get her to understand, if only because he could no longer imagine life without her.
Chapter 15
Vera’s cell phone rang its customized tone. She ignored it—she had ignored all calls from Rowan over the past week—but nothing, short of being deaf, could have dulled the stabbing ache in her chest at the familiar sound. He called several times each day; she did not pick up the phone. He left messages; she deleted them, unheard. His e-mails and text messages suffered the same fate. He came by her townhouse each day and pleaded to be let in. She sat on the couch, legs pulled up to her chest and arms wrapped around them, to keep herself from running to the door and throwing herself into his arms.
She had to be strong.
For her daughter’s sake, and her sake, she had to be strong.
Fourteen years ago, she had ignored all the warning signs that Darren and she were ill-matched and had walked, her eyes blind to facts, into a marriage destined to trail off into indifference. Her relatives had warned her she was making a fool’s choice, allowing her short-term grief over her parents’ loss to trump the longer-term evidence that she was too much of her own person to fit neatly into Darren’s definition of a wife.
She would not make a fool’s choice now. Not with Rowan.
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nbsp; Her eyes dull and puffy, Vera stared at the digital clock on the microwave as it ticked up to 3 p.m. She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. She should have been walking into the church on her uncle’s arm. She should have been walking up to Rowan.
She should have been happy. It would have been a fool’s choice, but she would have been happy, at least for a time. Vera buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders shuddered with silent sobs.
“Mama?” Allison placed her little hand on Vera’s back. “Mama cry.”
“Yes, sweetie, but it’s not you. I’m not mad at you.”
“Mama?” Allison’s voice quavered with hesitation, rather unlike her.
Vera looked up. “Yes.”
Allison held out the diamond engagement ring Rowan had given to Vera.
Vera stared at it, eyes wide. Where had Allison found it? Vera could not recall Rowan picking it up after she flung it at him, but then again, her head had been a mess of emotions and fuzzy thoughts that day. She had looked for it after that, but could not find it, and assumed that at some point, Rowan must have picked it up.
Apparently not.
Allison placed the ring in the palm of Vera’s hand. “Now Roan come back.”
Vera’s face twisted with pain. “Oh, Allison. It’s not like that. Rowan didn’t leave me because I lost the ring.”
Allison scowled. “Roan come back!”
The doorbell rang. Rowan’s voice carried through the door. “Vera.”
“Roan!” Allison raced to the door and pounded on the wood, demanding it give way to her.
Vera pocketed the ring and walked to the door to carry Allison away.
“Alli-naut?” Rowan’s voice came from a lower spot, as if he had knelt to speak to Allison from the other side of the door. “Where’s your mother?”
“Mama cry.”
Rowan was silent for a long moment. When he spoke again, he sounded as brokenhearted as Vera knew herself to be. “Vera, I don’t know if you’re there or if you’re listening. I…just came to say goodbye. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my arrest and those charges; it was so long ago and I’d forgotten. I didn’t realize how important it might be to you, and I’m sorry I wasn’t the one who told you. I…I’m not expecting you to understand or to forgive me, but I want you to know that I understand. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you for how you’re reacting.” He paused. Was he fighting to keep his voice steady the same way she was fighting to keep from crying? “You’re a great mother. A wonderful person,” he continued, a spark of warmth in his voice, as if the thought of her had managed to bring a smile to his lips. “Someday, you’ll find someone you can trust who will treasure you. Just remember what I taught you: style is not what you wear, but how you feel, and you’ll be all right.” His voice cracked. “Goodbye, Vera.”
Adored: A Love Letters Novel Page 10
