Pop music
Why did the man finish with the opera singer?
Because she was all mi mi mi mi mi mi mi
Why do children have middle names?
So they know when they’re in really big trouble
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Put a peg on his nose
What’s green and not heavy?
Light green
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big
What sort of romantic novels do monkeys read?
Mills and Baboons
Why should you never trust staircases?
Because they are always up to something
Why do football stadiums get hot after a match?
Because all the fans leave
Why aren’t fish good at sitting exams?
Because they’ll never get above sea-level
And the corniest of all . . .
Why did the invisible woman finish with the invisible man?
Because he was nothing to look at
FIND OUT MORE ABOUT
milly
johnson
Milly Johnson is the queen of feel-good fiction and bestselling author of fifteen novels.
To find out more about her and her writing, visit her website at
www.millyjohnson.co.uk
or follow Milly on
Twitter @millyjohnson
Instagram @themillyjohnson
Facebook @MillyJohnsonAuthor
All of Milly’s books are available in print and eBook, and are available to download in eAudio
Also by Milly Johnson
The Yorkshire Pudding Club
The Birds & the Bees
A Spring Affair
A Summer Fling
Here Come the Girls
An Autumn Crush
White Wedding
A Winter Flame
It’s Raining Men
The Teashop on the Corner
Afternoon Tea at the Sunflower Café
Sunshine Over Wildflower Cottage
The Queen of Wishful Thinking
The Perfectly Imperfect Woman
eBook only:
The Wedding Dress
Here Come the Boys
Ladies Who Launch
The Barn on Half Moon Hill
Now available as an audio collection called Petit Four
First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2018
A CBS COMPANY
Copyright © Millytheink Limited, 2018
The right of Milly Johnson to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
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London WC1X 8HB
Simon & Schuster Australia, Sydney
Simon & Schuster India, New Delhi
www.simonandschuster.co.uk
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Paperback ISBN: 978-1-4711-6190-2
eBook ISBN: 978-1-4711-6192-6
Audio ISBN: 978-1-4711-6317-3
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Typeset in the UK by M Rules
Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY
Simon & Schuster UK Ltd are committed to sourcing paper that is made from wood grown in sustainable forests and support the Forest Stewardship Council, the leading international forest certification organisation. Our books displaying the FSC logo are printed on FSC certified paper.
The Mother of All Christmases Page 38
