pointed at Ezequador, and approached him saying, “Hey, gimme a BREAK, man, I don’t have any experience,” then he pointed to God, “And YOU need to get off your fat ass!” God was overflowing with power, he was wearing a jersey holding a flag, and his voice was full of undying peace. He laughed at the captains tattoo- THE HUMAN TITTY, (AAA!) the eternal air in his lungs blew the cupids so hard they screamed and held on to his robe to stay with him. God is modest, so he doesn’t like people to know when he’s helping them. Suddenly, life began to deplete from the captain every time he sought to lie. Another ninety named Grad Shaky; a young black guy cuts in line and starts singing, “Baby-ooh-ughh, cut…pull my arm nigga…” Every time he starts singing, he cramps up really bad in his upper body for no reason. His arms start to contract like his bones are shrinking. Super Hat hails in, whirling and dancing. When he sees the nineties, he locked on to them. “LUCE HAS NO COMPASSION?” He changes his groove projectiles to these spiky darts attached to ordinary ropes. Every time he break-danced the darts shot at the nineties. He double clocked and all the villains got out however they could. He twisted, accelerating his smooth sliding spin across the floor, until finally yanking off his cap releasing firework chakra. A former ninety named Tablet – a young Caucasian Goth guy - who had just converted was there, and he didn’t understand the spy cherubs behavior. “Why are they snooping around behind God, as if they can rob him?”
“Behold thy grace, O false prophet, don’t just say it, do it…Bring them to justice…Behold, that is how I made them; that is how they play. They cannot get into trouble; I know what they like and that they are trying to steal the comfort from thy heart to leave me by running away with it.” God’s compassion filled Tablet. “Why do I get so mad? Where does all my anger come from?”
“That’s how strong God made you; boy that ain’t you; why would you imprison your mind? That’s the sons of Lucifer, their affect and pressure is already arranged by the things they did. Get mad, nobody cares…”
“Better be thankful for the life you got… You talk about yourself like you're a chic who's about to dump you…”
“Amen…Somebody would be happy with what you got… the body and the mind too. Let people make their own mistakes and learn on their own you can't control all people, just you…”
“Some people ain’t got no clothes to keep warm, people freezin’… those who know God would defend you and lighten your burdens… Aches are in the flesh, not the spirit – the loins, heart, head and belly… See, God still loves you no matter how much pain you’re in… The spirit is God’s business. This is God’s battle, not Tablet’s!” The Amolvians encouraged Tablet as he wept. Then, Christ appeared, stepped toward Tablet with one foot, and slid the other to him. He tapped Tablet on the shoulder with his staff. Tablet turned and saw refuge in Christ and hugged him. “Super Hat, we have discovered a new organ in Little-Azarban. Since you are training him to age, you must Gawndihowl and put on this cloak to infiltrate Ban’s secret operation to steal a cheesecake from the grand cherub. Using the unidentified organ, he can build worlds inside things he possesses and he can nuke new organs into someone instantly! We need you to possess the items listed and see if there’s any funny business going on inside them.”
“Gawndihowl morph.” A cloaked mini-man possesses an artifact that Ban regularly possesses and heads down a long white hallway inside, his little shoes spitting chakra like mini fireworks triggered by his steps. The architecture was splendid; the place had chandeliers and everything! He suppresses his chakra with tiny bionics. He held his little head down and stepped into a gathering of thumb-sized rebels. There was a stage, and four sprites were upon it in front of hundreds of others. One of them is drooling on his own belly and trying to absorb it all back up. “This is a vewy sewous mattoah…Azoahban is wate, and aww wou can do is dwool!”
“(♪sspp-smmack!♪)…HIHHMH.”
“HEY, WOU GUYS AWE SO BUSSID! (AMBUSH!) (WHIWIDOWDUH!)” When Hat yelled, a dust cloud filled the room from tiny, quaking, cupid hands. Most dragons can’t read. Meanwhile, back in the line to the white room, a dragon with a fake mustache tries to blend in by being quiet and looking straight ahead. “Sir, can you step out, please, for a second?” asked the Amolvian guards on duty. “SHIT!”
“Calm down, buddy, we just wanna search you and ask you a few questions.”
“DAMN, MAN, WHY Y’ALL F’’’IN’ WIT’ ME…? SHIT-” the dragon played the victim, briefly resisting, then re-assuming the position, facing the wall as his mustache fell off. “We gonn’ get you back in line, man, just tell us why you’re here.”
“MAN, I AIN’T TRYIN’ TO DO NOTHIN’! CAN I SEE JOELNAQ?! I’M HERE TO SEE JOELNAQ!”
“I mean, obviously, you’ up to somethin’ you got a fake mustache, man.”
“MAN…! - I’M TELLIN’ EVERYBODY ‘BOUT THIS…WHY I CAN’T SEE JOELNAQ?”
“We don’t feel like shovelin’ up snow, cause you wanna lie.”
“SHIT, MAN, THIS WALL HOT! AAH-H-HAA-AAHH!” the dragon grew annoyed. Then the guards show him a poster of Rosebush “the heart nanny” Swanigan, who kicks all kinds of ass. “Read the first line.” Her super celled skin, even though it was a photo of her, began burning the dragon’s eyes. He started jerking and yanking away from the guards. “MAN!” yelled the dragon, straining to dig his toenails into the wall and to climb up because they were holding him. ♫
LEVEL 14
Solo Objective: Scourge all the monsters
Multiplayer Objective: Race – Be the first to lead the team to victory for an extra trophy
Dark Objective: Gas the monsters for an extra life in deprivation
Highlights:
Super Replay: (♪“WE TRUSTED GOD AND HE DELIVERED, YOUR HIGHLIGHTS ARE ON THE WAY!”♪)
“The Holy-Gawnden-”:
“Meanwhile, the Dark Gawnden-”: +
♫”My daddy said I can kill a miwun men in swoe mossum…”
“Little, get the hell out of here, now!” Hat whispers in the cave entrance, the bass in his voice still echoed throughout the cave. Azarban shoved hat with his little hands, then he clutched hat’s jacket collar and said, “I’M SICK OF WOU AWWAYS BOSSIN’ ME AWOUN’, AY’S! If it woahn’t foah me wou woumn’t even be hewe! Don’t kiww a kiz dweam!”
“Nigga, if you blow my cover…hggh-Lemme go!”
“What ahh wou gonna do?” The hollow-bats howled a bit, and then calmed by the angelic voices. Vogue walks in. “King Azarban…”
“VOHHHHW!” Azarban is excited to see Vogue and drops Hat. “Hat, he’s just trying to help, why do you have to be so mean?” said Vogue with admiration toward them both. She picked Ban up, held him close, then rocked him in her hands. “Not today… No! Every time he shows up, he puts himself in the most dangerous place possible. Then, when I tell him to get lost, he starts crying for no reason and blows my cover! I’m not getting’ suspended again because of him.”
“Wou act wike buhspenson wasts foahevoah!”
“HAHA-Yeah, that’s right.” Vogue spoke in defense for the little active cupid, he crawled out her hands and runs around her shoulders as if she was a giant playpen. “Let’s go – That’s alright, I don’t even want this mission. Let’s just go…”
“Hat!” Little sniffled. Hat moved his lips and, silently, he expressed, “SEE, OH MY GOD!” setting both his hands on his forehead, somewhat lifting his visor. Vogue sat Little down on a large boulder. He started to cry really loud. “Shhh, no blessing way…What did I ever do to you?” Hat whispers to Ban, praying on his knees. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“That’s a good question; I’m on the mission of my dreams. Me and Azarban just saw the devil come in here. He RIGHT-back-there and he’s cheating again. This is IT!” Hat points to the dark passageway, floating around in the Amolvian way. “Honey, you hurt his feelings. If you would just let him help, he could-“
“Quiet…” Hat growled. Vogue covered Little’s mouth with her hand. Other than Ban
’s sniffling, only the bats could be heard flapping and screeching above within the cave. Little sat in silence, blinking his little eyes, wondering why Hat stopped complaining all of a sudden. “I sense the accuser.” Hat shares, activating a little flashlight that was built into his earpiece. Suddenly, the cave rumbled, and the shape-shifting chameleon dragon exposed himself, also being part of the boulder Azarban was sitting on! “AAA!” Little screamed as the devil morphed underneath him. Vogue had that Amolvian courage, she wasn’t scared of shit, she just stood there and waited until he was done morphing, spawning a melee bar in her hand. “AZARBAN!” Hat tried to grab Little-Azarban. Azarban bit him and possessed another boulder. The bats panicked and took various routes to shelter. When the dragon snapped at Vogue, she dodged and stuck him with the melee bar, which wasn’t charged and appeared to be a sword. Sugg double clocked and bled chakra. Then she channeled for reinforcements. Little’s new boulder began to slide off as it grew arms and legs, running toward the light. While taking blasts from a sinister blizzard, double clocked Hat locked onto the colorless blurry dragon and put together ideal break-dance combos, letting go a flurry of hollowbotic maces attached to chains. Sugg roared and escaped by an inch. He headed toward an important moon called, Radiolight. Some
Simulation (Bootleg) Page 6
