“Have you ever heard of something called Euphoria?” she replied. I could hear the reluctance in her voice, but what choice did we have now? I’d put a crack in this thing, and I needed it gone if I was going to survive. I’d put her in a bit of a dilemma, the concerned aunt warring with the careful guider.
I nodded. “Alton and Krieger wanted me to learn how to do it, before my surgery.”
“Surgery?” Isadora’s voice went up an octave.
“Long story. I was supposed to get this Suppressor carved out of me in a couple of months’ time, but it looks like I’ve messed up everyone’s plans. Anyway, there’s a preceptor here who said he’d teach me how to enter a state of Euphoria, if I needed it.”
She shook her head. “You can’t learn how to fall into a state of Euphoria that quickly, Harley. It takes practice and focus.”
“You said I have days, maybe weeks before this leak starts to properly hurt me. Can I learn how to get into a state of Euphoria in that timeframe—yes, or no?”
“It’s not that simple, Harley,” she replied, her lip trembling. She looked genuinely scared.
“Yes, or no?”
“Theoretically, yes, but it will take a lot out of you. You may find that you don’t have enough energy to break the actual Suppressor, once you’re done. And, with all of this pent-up Chaos leaking out, you’ll have to endure the side effects of that, too. It’ll be too much for you to bear.” She looked up at me with utter despair.
“What else can I do, Isadora?” I asked plainly. “Let this thing kill me?”
“No, but maybe this Krieger can perform the surgery he promised to, instead?”
I smiled sadly. “The tools haven’t arrived yet; that’s why it’s taking so long. And, right now, I don’t have the luxury of time. Not that we ever did, but it looks like things just got a kick in the ass.”
Jacob nodded. “He wanted to do it sooner, but there’s all this paperwork that needs to be filled out before you can get the tools and stuff. I was there when he explained it all to Harley.”
Isadora’s face crumpled. “Well… who is this preceptor, anyway? Does he know what he’s doing with Euphoric practices? I’m not foisting you off to any Tom, Dick, or Harry who thinks he can do ancient meditation because he read it in a book once.”
A wry chuckle slipped from the back of my throat. “He studied with the Euphorics of Tromsø, if that makes his credentials any better?”
“They let an ordinary magical into their inner circle?” she gasped. “No, I don’t believe it. This charlatan is clearly bluffing. There’s no way the Euphorics would allow an outsider into their group. For starters, very few people even know of their whereabouts.”
“Nomura does,” I replied. “He’s got no reason to lie to me.”
She frowned. “Wait… Hiro Nomura?”
“The very same.”
“Oh.”
I smiled. “Does that change anything?”
“A little bit, though I still don’t like it. Hiro Nomura is very well respected in most circles and has an aptitude for Dempsey Suppressors. It’s not a common subject, but judging from what you’ve said about him and the Euphorics, common subjects aren’t really his thing. I’m guessing you already know all of this, but I’m trying to talk myself into letting this happen.” She cast me a lopsided grin, though the humor didn’t reach her mournful eyes.
“This will work,” I promised. “The only reason I didn’t do something like this in the first place was to reduce the risks of hurting people around me. That’s still my main focus. If I can master Euphoria, then I know I can keep to that.”
“I still don’t like it, Harley,” she murmured.
“You’re not supposed to. You’re my aunt—you think you have to protect me, because it’s what Dad would’ve wanted. And while I’m very grateful to have a guardian angel watching over me, I know that I can do this.” I cast her a sad look. “Plus, it’s not like I have other options, unless I want to end up with magical radiation poisoning.”
She sighed. “If there was another way, you know I would tell you.”
“I know.”
“If you need help with any of these madcap endeavors, you know where to find me.”
I frowned. “You’re staying at the coven, right? You’re not thinking about disappearing again?”
She shook her head. “I will need to speak with this Krieger, to see if he has a means of removing the spell that Katherine put on me. I’d try to do it myself, but it’s drained me of much of my strength. I suppose that was the point. Anyway, if I’m to speak with him and get this hex removed, I need to be here… temporarily, at least.”
Jacob cleared his throat. “Or, you could speak to Preceptor Bellmore.”
We turned to him in surprise.
“She’s the expert on Charms and Hexes, right?” he said. “Plus, I did a bit of digging after Katherine took Isadora. There’s definitely a reversal; it’ll just take someone like Bellmore to do it. She took a crazy strong hex off Krieger—she can do it with Isadora, too.”
I smiled. “Were you thinking of that when you snatched Isadora?”
He nodded sheepishly. “Does that make it any better?”
“Very, very marginally.”
“Plus, it means you’ll be near both of us, Isadora,” Jacob continued, though he still couldn’t meet my gaze. I found that my anger toward him had settled slightly, with the fading of the white-hot pain in my body. Isadora had been the first parental figure, aside from the Smiths, who’d treated him like he was wanted. In the moment, he’d acted on impulse, and saved the person who meant the most to him. Quetzi likely hadn’t even compared. I could understand that, in a way. Besides, my aunt was probably right about us not doing much to dampen Katherine’s determination. Even if we’d managed to get Quetzi out of there, she’d have been too strong to defeat, with all of that energy inside her.
The trouble was, even though I tried to rationalize it all, Quetzi was still dead. He wasn’t coming back. I couldn’t help but feel crushed by that fact.
“It’s a temporary measure, that’s all,” Isadora reiterated. “You know my feelings about covens in general. I don’t like to stay long in any one place, especially as Katherine will likely come after me. I’ve proven very useful to her, and I doubt she’d want to give up instantaneous travel. However, Jacob and I might get a better fighting chance if we stay here with you, at least for a little while.”
I nodded. “I get why you can’t stay here for good, I really do,” I replied, thinking of her letter. “Stay as long as you need to. I can’t promise that nobody will try and stop you from leaving when you decide it’s time, but I won’t stand in your way. And we’ll carry on taking care of Jacob when you leave so we can keep him away from Katherine. Just make sure you say goodbye first, okay?”
“I will, I swear it. No more midnight flits.”
“Good to hear. Now, I’ve got a lot to do, so I should probably let you rest up,” I said, glancing around at the watching sea creatures. They were sniffing out the raw energy in me; I could sense it. “Don’t stay here, though. Go up to the infirmary where they can see to that hex.”
Isadora helped me to my feet, though she was pretty shaky on hers. “Jacob might have made a mistake in saving me, and it might sound selfish, but I’m glad to be here.” She folded me into a hug. I let her hold me, my own arms encircling her as we stopped for a moment and let ourselves be family. A minute later, I turned my face to Jacob. “You might as well get in here, though you’re not off the hook. Wade and the others might have a couple of things to say to you, but I’ll try and make them go easy.”
He paled. “Thank you, Harley. I really am sorry for what I did… and also not sorry, because she’s here, and she’s safe for a while.”
I gathered him into our huddle, the three of us hugging it out—getting rid of all the anger and upset and pain. There was no use crying over spilt milk, and the milk was everywhere right now. I needed to calm down, or risk let
ting the Darkness take over. Already, I could feel a tingling in my body, as if something cold was making its way through my veins. The Suppressor had been cracked, and I had to deal with the consequences of that. I had to calm down, slow down, and get the bastard fully broken before it ended up killing me.
To do that, I needed to pay a visit to Nomura and then Alton. I needed to know if this was possible, not just in theory but also in practice. That Sanguine spell was in the coven somewhere, and I was going to get my hands on it before time ran out. I had some idea of where to get the blood from a powerful Light magical—that le Fay woman was rotting in Purgatory at that very moment, her blood brimming with the right kind of ferocity. Actually, getting the blood might be a little trickier, but maybe I could persuade her that I was on her side—that I intended to use the blood for nefarious means only. As a Shipton and a Merlin, I doubted it would be too hard to convince her. My lineage spoke for itself.
The Dark blood was a different story. I’d have to look into that a bit more, as I didn’t know of anyone that powerful who leaned toward the Dark. Katherine could be a potential “donor,” but that came with two issues—one, I didn’t know for sure that she did lean toward Darkness, and, two, I had no way of getting close enough to snatch some blood from her without getting myself trapped in the process. However, there was one place that called my name, louder than any other, a place that seemed to hold all the secrets I needed to explore. Once I’d managed to find the Sanguine spell located within these walls, and had a better grasp of Euphoria, there was only one city I wanted to visit.
New Orleans.
Thirty-Three
Astrid
I lay in the infirmary bed and looked up blankly at the ceiling. Ever since waking up in my dad’s arms, the life forced back into me, I’d been feeling strange and disoriented. My body was cold, but I couldn’t shiver—the cold was much deeper than that, sitting like a rock in the pit of my stomach and spreading outward slowly. It gripped my lungs and my heart, and crept all the way up to my brain, where this odd emptiness reigned supreme. I could still think and function and get my mouth to speak and my limbs to move, but there was a sluggishness to everything I did, like wading through molasses. I wanted to cry each time I thought about it, but the tears wouldn’t come—truthfully, I felt like a part of me was missing. The real world seemed too bright and too loud; the lights burned my eyes and even a whisper grated on my senses.
I came back wrong. Some of me stayed behind.
Worst of all was the memory of almost crossing over. On the last three occasions that this had happened to me, I’d had no memory of the event at all, but this time… this time, it lingered in my mind like a black fog. I remembered the warmth and the silence, reaching out toward me across a great divide. I remembered a voice, telling me it was all okay, and that I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. It had been like falling asleep and sinking into the sweetest dream, where nothing ached, and my body felt light, and my mind was free.
And then… I’d been ripped out of there, torn from the warmth and the sweetness, wrenched out of the dream. I could remember the violent tug of it, of my father wrestling with the underworld to get me back. Everything had gone black, and those voices had drifted further away, taking paradise with them.
The terrifying truth was, when everything had seemed still and calm and peaceful, I hadn’t wanted to come back. I thought of those I was leaving behind, but I knew they’d be okay without me. Selfish, maybe, but it had been so serene… until it wasn’t. Until reality barreled into me, my spirit being dragged kicking and screaming back into the real world. Evidently, my reluctance had caused this missing piece—that fragment still somewhere in the underworld, no doubt.
“Are you awake?” Alton asked, distracting my attention. He sat at my bedside, where he’d been for the past hour after disappearing for a while to Purge. He hadn’t said anything since he’d come back; he’d just sat there looking sad and exhausted.
Garrett had followed us when my father had brought me here, but he hadn’t hung around for long. I didn’t remember him leaving, but I presumed he must have gone while Krieger was running his preliminary checks. He hadn’t said anything either, just loitered in the doorway and disappeared soon after.
“I’m awake.” I shuddered at the tone of my voice. Everything felt flat and empty, as though someone had put soundproofing on everything I did and said.
“How do you feel?”
“Like I’ve just been brought back from the dead.”
He smiled stiffly, fidgeting with his hands. “I mean, is everything okay? Do you feel normal? It was much harder this time. The others—they brought you back almost too late, and I had to struggle to find you, let alone bring you back. I was worried that something might have happened, that you might not be quite—”
“Myself?”
He nodded. “It can happen sometimes. I’m good at what I do, but even the best Necromancers in the world can’t always get it right. I was still recovering from the last one, too, so I suppose I’m more worried about it than I usually would be.”
“You got it right. I’m fine,” I lied. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I felt as if I’d come back half-formed, even if it was an undeniable truth. He was my dad; he didn’t need that kind of weight on his already-burdened shoulders. He’d only blame himself, and I didn’t want that. However, the more I lay there, willing the void to go away, the more intense it became. My insides felt empty, my mind blank. There was no restless chatter in there, like there usually was, which was more unsettling than anything else. I relied on my mind chatter, and it was horribly silent without it.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I’m a-okay. A little tired, but that’s to be expected.”
“It just feels like something went wrong.”
I touched his hand. “It didn’t. I’m fine, honestly.”
“You would tell me if something was the matter, wouldn’t you?”
“I would.”
“Where did you go, anyway?” he asked, holding my hand gingerly.
I frowned. “When I died?”
“No, no, no… I mean, where did you and the Rag Team go? We tried to get in contact, but there was no answer. Another security team arrived at the site where you’d gone, but you weren’t there anymore. The cars were there, and the place was trashed, but you were nowhere to be found.”
“We went to the Asphodel Meadows. Katherine was there, performing one of the rituals with Quetzi,” I explained. “He’s dead, but Isadora should be in the building somewhere. Jacob brought her here.”
Alton gasped, visibly shocked. “You went to the dimension of a Child of Chaos? That’s supposed to be just a myth.”
“Apparently not.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “And Quetzi is dead?”
“Yeah, looks like he wasn’t so good at escaping after all.” The words came out unfeeling, my mind shocked by the lack of sentiment. I hadn’t known Quetzi very well, but he had been a fixture of this place ever since we’d been granted the Bestiary. Why couldn’t I muster any emotion at all? I hated it. It made my skin crawl.
“Did Katherine get away?”
“No idea. From what I’ve read of these Children, they don’t like people overstaying their welcome. There’s a good chance that Nyx kicked her out, once she’d finished absorbing Quetzi’s power. She’ll be long gone.”
“You think so?”
I nodded. “She’s like an octopus—she can get out of any tight spot, even if it’s a Child of Chaos kicking her out.”
“You may be right about that. No matter where she is, or what she’s up to, she’s impossible to trace. I tried to locate the source of her transmission, when she sent it through the medallion, but all I found were dead ends.” He sighed wearily. “Did Jacob come back safely? I didn’t see him with the rest of you, although I was…” His voice caught in his throat. “Well, I was somewhat busy at the time.”
“Jacob made it back, and h
e has Isadora with him,” I said weakly.
He nodded, evidently skirting around a difficult question. It took him a couple of moments to spit it out. “I’m guessing from the way the rest of the Rag Team reacted to me that you didn’t tell them about the Quetzi-Katherine-kids deal? I was expecting a tirade when you all got back.” He dropped his chin to his chest, shamefaced.
“I haven’t told them about it, but you should,” I said simply. “Sooner rather than later. You can’t play into enemy hands and then cover it all up, not with them.”
“And when I lose my place here?”
I shrugged. “Then you lose your place.”
“And if someone worse takes my place?”
“We’ll deal with that if it comes to it. I’m not saying you have to tell everyone, but you absolutely have to tell the Rag Team. They deserve to know.”
Alton seemed torn, his brow furrowed in thought. “Can I have some time to decide on a course of action? I’m not asking you to lie for me—just don’t say anything until I’ve figured out what I’m going to do. I’m sorry for even asking, but it’s necessary right now. With the coven in turmoil, there’s a lot I need to think about.”
How are you going to get yourself out of this one? My father would never give up his place in the coven, not for anything. He’d thought he was doing the right thing, in protecting me and getting the children back. I wondered how that felt to him now, as I’d almost died anyway. I guessed he was finally realizing that it might not have been the greatest idea. Still, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight to keep hold of his position as director. I could see it in his face—the weighing of options. I had expected it, to be honest. He was a proud man, who enjoyed the respect that came with being director. It would not be easy for him to relinquish, nor did I think he would. On any other day, that would have made me feel nothing but disappointment.
Harley Merlin 4: Harley Merlin and the First Ritual Page 36
