But when I opened my mouth, I realized with a sudden jolt that I had no idea how I felt.
“How is it going?” Xavier shouted into the empty air, the wind carrying his voice far, far, until I couldn’t hear his words anymore.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered. “What do I say?” I looked up at the sky.
Freedom.
I should’ve faked my own death. Xavier seemed happy solo, but I couldn’t stay away from someone to give me commands for long. I was always sucked back into working under someone, and I hated that.
“I hate myself!” I shouted. The cold wind snatched up my words, howling from the pain in them, and tossed them away. “I want to be free,” my voiced lowered to a whisper. “I wish I were someone else.”
“Who do you wish you were?” I turned to see Xavier watching me with his bright eyes. His hands weren’t covering his ears.
“Just . . .” I turned my face. “Not me.”
Xavier sighed. “I’m glad you’re you.” And just like that, the weight tumbled off my chest.
SIXTEEN
I helped the shipwright load up the last of the cargo, and turned to us, giving a little bow.
“I wish you the best.”
Isabel returned the curtsy, heading up the board and disappearing into the ship. Her blond ponytail bounced as she walked, her black pants and tunic similar to Jax’s.
“Thank you,” Jax said, appearing by my side. He stretched out a hand for Henry to take, which he held onto firmly.
“Come back safely,” Henry said, taking a few steps back. Jax nodded, his eyes meeting mine. He scowled and turned away, making his way up to the ship.
I crossed my arms over my chest with a huff of annoyance.
A day ago, we had an argument. I told him he had to stay back, and he continuously persisted until a vase was “accidently” knocked over, thanks to Isabel who finally had to shut us up.
“We’re going, so there’s no point in arguing,” she had said, stubborn as she was. And that’s how they were on the ship, packed and ready to go before I was.
“Assassin,” Xavier snapped his fingers, crashing my train of thought. He approached me as two men carried his things to his cabin, “why aren’t you inside?”
I stepped forward and held out a hand. The men jerked to
a halt, looking questioningly at the ex-prince.
“What are you doing?” Xavier asked with a smile, baring his pearly teeth. He crossed his arms over his chest, eyebrows raised.
“I understand why Jax and Isabel wanted to come, so I let them tag along. You, on the other hand, have no business there. You’ve done enough to help, so thank you. I can take it from here.” I waved the men off, and turned to make my way up to the main deck where everyone was waiting. Xavier reached out, grabbing my arm and spun my around to face him. His honey eyes were serious, squinted, nose inches from mine.
“Are you stupid? We already discussed this. I’m coming with you. And besides, it’s not your call to make.” He stood that way for a few seconds, and let go.
My hand dropped to my side.
Xavier was right. We had discussed this, but I didn’t want him to tag along. The voyage was dangerous, and I was afraid—although I hated admitting it. I was worried inside, my stomach twisted.
He raised his eyebrows at me. When I said nothing, he motioned for the men to follow him up the gangway. It was after he reached the main deck when I realized I’d been holding my breath.
“Adalia.” The princess’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Yes?” I asked, still staring after Xavier. My chest felt tight.
“Be safe, alright? I want to hear the news from you when you come back. In one piece, please,” she added. I faced her with a smile.
“I’ll try. Take care. The guards I posted will keep you safe. Don’t stray too far.”
“Of course.” She nodded. Without looking back, I turned
and made my way up the gangway.
“Isabel, careful,” Jax warned as she leaned over the edge, heaving. He grabbed a fistful of the back of her tunic and pulled her gently.
“Did you know she was one to get seasick easily?” I asked him, and he shook his head, appalled.
“I’ll be fine,” she moaned, batting at his hand. I patted her back, standing on her other side. Jax shrugged at me eyes wide.
What if she’s like this the whole time? he mouthed.
Then we throw her overboard. No distractions, I smirked, and he laughed. Grinning, I searched the deck for dark curls and a pair of honey gold eyes.
There.
Xavier was chatting away with the captain at the helm, leaning against the rails. His arms were crossed, wind whipping through his hair. His face was bright, relaxed.
I swallowed, tearing my eyes away from him.
“Everything alright between the two of you?” Jax asked.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” I shrugged nonchalantly. Jax narrowed his cold blue eyes. “We’re fine,” I rolled my eyes. “I just need time to adjust.” My eyes flickered to where he was standing again, and to my surprise, Xavier’s eyes caught mine. He smiled wide. Isabel’s head popped up as she wiped her mouth on the back of her sleeve, blocking my view.
“I’ll be okay, thank you for asking.” She glared at the both of us, storming away as I tried to catch Xavier’s eye again. But he was too busy at the steer, turning it with enough determination to pass as the captain himself.
Falling asleep wasn’t a problem. The waves were almost calming, the sound of water serene and soothing.
The problem was the thoughts.
It was as if my brain didn’t want me to fall asleep. Every second, I expected the explosion of a cannon signaling a pirate attack, or shouts and the pattering of rain before a storm. Travelling by ship was one thing I’d barely done before. There was never any need to sail the seas, especially this far.
Everything could go wrong.
I turned on my other side, where Isabel lay.
“Are you asleep?” she asked. I hummed a response, too tired to speak.
Silence.
Then, “How long have you known him?” For a moment, I didn’t know who she was talking about. Then I understood.
“Why are you asking all of a sudden?”
“I don’t understand him,” she said, almost as if she were talking to herself. She shifted, facing the ceiling. “He lost everything, didn’t he?” She took my silence as a yes. “How can he be so happy?”
“He’s not happy, Isabel,” I snapped. “He’s hurt. Don’t jump to conclusions so quickly.” I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from continuing. It wasn’t her I was mad at, it was Xavier. The front he was putting up wouldn’t last long. The act was what bothered me.
“I’m sorry, it was just an observation.”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
“How did he die?” she asked. “Before he came back to life again.”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen. Someone took him by surprise.” Images of Clarice flicked through my head. She’d been hungry for power, and that was her ultimate downfall.
“Since you’re in the mood to answer questions, I’m going to ask you some until you get angry. Got it?”
“Fine.”
“Is he a good dancer?”
“Isabel,” I warned.
“Well?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
“Were you two close?”
“I would say, yes.”
“So did you like him?”
“I’m angry now. Stop asking questions.”
“Did you like him?” she pressed.
“Come on.”
“Just answer it. Please.” I turned my back to her. “Please,” she urged.
Fine. “Yes.”
“In a friendly way, or . . .”
“Isabel.”
“Alright, alright. Goodnight, Adalia.”
“Goodnight.”
I couldn’t remem
ber when I fell asleep.
Day One.
“Your move, Assassin,” Xavier said with a smirk. “Check.” His queen stood proudly before my king. “You’ve already lost, love.”
“How many times have a told you not to call me that?” I pointed at him. He grabbed my index finger, pushing it down.
“Stop stalling, Adalia. You know you’ve lost.” A line of dark chess pieces lined the side of the board. White pieces were scattered around us, thanks to Xavier. He thought it was funny to flick my pieces off the board when they were killed.
I yanked my finger back and dragged the bishop diagonally on the checkered board, protecting my king.
“Your queen will die. Are you sure you want to make this
move?” he asked. “Last chance.”
“I don’t have a choice. If my king dies, the game is over. Or did you forget?”
Xavier barked out a laugh. “If only forgetting was that easy, Adalia,” he said, as he flicked off the queen. She crashed to the floor.
I smiled.
“Check,” I said, as I cornered his king, “mate.”
Xavier’s jaw dropped. “You cheated. I saw you move the pieces when you thought I wasn’t looking.”
“That’s not even possible,” I scoffed.
“Liar,” Jax said, appearing behind him. “I was watching. She won fair and square.” He raised his hand and I smacked it with mine in triumph.
Xavier scowled.
“Honestly, they should switch the roles of the king and queen. The game should end when the queen dies. She’s got more power, and can move easily as well. The king just moves a space at a time,” I said, gesturing to the black piece.
Before Xavier could argue any further, the ship jerked, and the pieces went rolling along with the board. We tilted, Jax falling sideways onto Xavier, who was caught off guard, toppling off his chair. The ship creaked strenuously.
“Jax, get off me,” Xavier said with a scowl, pushing him off. Jax staggered to his feet.
“What was that?” he asked, confusion on his face.
“It felt like we were hit by something,” I said, a tinge of panic coloring my voice. “Stay down here.” I turned to leave the cabin, throwing open the door. Behind me, I heard the thumping of footsteps. I spun around. “Stay.”
“Get out of the way,” Jax ordered. He brushed past me, Xavier close behind. Knowing I couldn’t win this argument, I followed them up. The bright light from the sun blinded me for a moment, and I blinked rapidly, trying to adjust my vision.
Xavier started to laugh.
“It’s your friend up there,” Xavier pointed at the helm.
Jax crossed his arms over his chest, glaring daggers at his sister. I squinted. She was steering the ship.
Isabel waved. “I did it much better than the prince!” she shouted.
“This isn’t a game,” I scowled, looking at Jax. “Get her down from there.”
“She probably charmed her way up,” Xavier scoffed. “I told you we should’ve hired the older captain.”
“We did hire the older captain,” I muttered under my breath.
“Don’t talk about my sister like that when you were doing the same thing moments ago.”
Xavier started towards him, but I latched onto his arm, pulling him back.
“Alright, you two, that’s enough.” I stepped between them. “Jax, go get Isabel.” Jax squared his shoulders, avoiding Xavier, and stalked off. “Xavier,” I grabbed his arm when Jax was out of earshot, “don’t act immature.”
“I wasn’t acting immature,” he yanked his arm away. “Your friends are too sensitive.” He looked over his shoulder.
“Jax has always been like that,” I raised my hands, trying to calm him down.
“He’s been this way since he found out who I was. He’s picking fights where there are none. Jax is a little too protective, don’t you think?” There was no trace of a smile on his face. His features were hard. “If he can’t handle his jealousy, someone will end up bleeding.”
Day Two.
“I’m suffering,” Xavier said as the hammock he laid in lazily swung back and forth. Isabel and Jax lay sprawled out on the floor, a deck of cards scattered between them.
“We could’ve played something if you hadn’t lost all the chess pieces.”
“It’s not my fault Isabel’s such a terrible captain.”
“Hey,” Isabel scowled.
“I’m hungry,” Jax groaned into the fan of cards in his right hand.
“We just ate.”
“Too much food can make you queasy,” I added. “And it’s only the second day. We have to save up for emergencies.”
Jax sat up, straightening his back. The ship lurched, and Isabel pressed a palm against her stomach.
“I have an idea,” Jax said.
“Uh-oh,” said Isabel, making a face.
The crew stood around as I pulled out my sword. Xavier rolled up his sleeves. To my surprise, there was a long, jagged scar running right across his left forearm. I wondered how he got it.
To his right stood Isabel, and to my left, Jax. The crew had already started betting. Jax said it would be entertainment for them, and would pass time for us. We hadn’t practiced in a while, either.
Jax moved towards Xavier, and I focused on Isabel. She pulled out her knives. As I lunged, she sidestepped and caught my arm. I slid my leg around, catching the back of her knees. She bent only slightly, regaining her balance and retaliating with a sharp blow to my elbow, the first thing she could reach. Tangled up, I reached for her hair.
“Cheater!” she shouted, and I laughed.
“You signed up for this.” I grabbed the back of her ponytail and yanked. She rolled onto the floor, trying to free herself from my grip. She kicked at my knees. My grip on her hair loosened, and she flicked her knife, grazing my bicep.
“This was a new tunic, Isabel,” I groaned.
“You signed up for this,” she smirked. Swords clanged behind us. Isabel looked over my shoulder, blowing loose wisps of blond hair out of her eyes. She lunged forward, knocking the sword out of my hand with her boot. The heel of her boot slammed against my knuckles. I let out a gasp of pain, clutching my hand.
“Are you alright?” Xavier called out. Again, I looked behind me. Jax was in a headlock. Turning back, I saw Isabel reached for my sword, a triumphant look on her face.
I leapt forward, rolling, and pushed her back with my boots. She grabbed my ankles, pulling my legs towards her. I stretched out my arm, the tips of my fingers brushing the cool hilt.
Straining, I reached forward with aching knuckles and grabbed onto it. I spun around and pressed the knife to the skin above her collarbone.
She put up her arms.
I laughed through heavy breaths, letting the sword fall to my side. Isabel reached out a hand which I took, getting to my feet.
“They’re still going at it,” she said, nodding her head towards Jax and Xavier. I picked up my sword and slid it in its sheath, keeping an eye on them. Jax seemed flustered, although he was doing well against Xavier.
In all of our spars, I’d never won against Xavier. He’d been my unofficial teacher for a while, but then we’d grown apart. I hadn’t had a complete spar against him for a few years, so the fact that he could still beat me or not was un
known.
Xavier kneed Jax in the stomach and Jax groaned, taking a step back. This was hurting him physically and bruising his ego.
Just before punches could be thrown, Isabel shouted, “Stop!” She walked towards the two boys and picked up their swords, using the hilts to jab them sharply on each shoulder blade. “That’s enough. This was for fun, not a fight to the death.” She glared at Xavier. “You should know better than to act like this.” Isabel turned to her brother. “What’s gotten into you?”
They both rubbed their shoulders painfully.
“I’m sorry.”
“It won’t happen again,” Xavier said, shooting her a smile. Isab
el crossed her arms over her chest.
“You should hope not.”
Today marked Day Four.
I was sleeping when they woke me up. Xavier stood over me, shaking my shoulder gently.
“Adalia, wake up.” I sat up, alert but confused.
“What’s going on?” I asked. A jerk shook the ship, metal and wood creaking.
Another thud rattled the doors. I grabbed Xavier’s arm to keep myself from tipping over as I jumped out of bed. “Where’s Isabel?” I turned my head, noticing her empty hammock, swinging with each jerk. “Is she steering the ship again?” I asked skeptically, pulling on my boots.
Xavier set his hands on my shoulders to keep me in place. Slam. I crashed into him, losing my balance completely. Xavier landed on his back with a groan. I placed my hands on either side of his shoulders and pushed myself up.
“It’s a storm,” he grunted. I rolled off of him, getting to
my feet. I helped Xavier up. His hands seemed almost numb with cold, and I realized he was soaked through, dark hair falling in his eyes. The loud pattering of rain got louder. Xavier kept a tight grip on my hand. “Wait,” he said as I tried pulling away. “It’s bad. Stay close to me. I can’t lose you to the sea, alright?”
“Fine.” I gave his hand a squeeze and then pressed my free hand against the cabin doors.
“Brace yourself,” he warned.
“I can handle a storm,” I said, and pushed it open. The feeling of one thousand icy needles pattered against my skin, through the loose fabric of my tunic. The rain soaked me, lightning cracking above our heads.
“All hands on deck!” Captain Carac shouted. Two men stood under the mast, closing the sails. A wave pushed us up, and then dropped as if the ship had no weight. I scanned the faces and saw Isabel near the edge of the ship.
Jax stood beside her with a large bucket in his hand, throwing out the seawater that was pooling on the deck. I made my way to the mast, grabbing a rope.
“Heave!” one of the crewmembers shouted, and we pulled down the sails. The ship was thrown against the waves again, and I felt my stomach drop. “Heave!” they repeated, and we pulled harder.
“Help!” someone yelled above the roaring waves.
The Four Kingdoms Page 12
