by K. N. Banet
Lani hit my chest, giving me four bloody red lines. I hit her across the face, knocking her down. Zuri came up beside me and tried for a killing bite to Lani’s soft underbelly, only to be met with Lani’s back legs kicking out. Zuri roared in pain as one cut her face. I was dizzy as I landed on my front paws and tried to focus, going for Lani’s neck but moving too slow. Lani batted my face away with ease and was back on her feet before Zuri and I could do any more.
Zuri and I went side by side, stalking toward her as she backed off and tried to circle us. I lunged, striking out at her back leg, but not able to grab hold. Zuri turned fast to stop Lani from getting at mine, snarling as she raked her claws over Lani’s face. Lani screamed, and I went for her back leg again, this time grabbing hold and using it to yank her off her feet.
“Back off, Zuri. She’s mine. I need to do this.”
My sister stepped back, leaving the fight and moving to a good position to watch. Lani hissed at me, realizing I must have wanted her to myself. I directed what I said next to her.
“I don’t know if you’re right or wrong about Hasan and my family, but this wasn’t the way to do it, Lani. Trying to kill everyone I care about was the wrong move if you wanted me to sympathize with you.”
Lani snarled again, and I let her stand. We started circling, finally getting to a point where it was an even fight. This was it.
“You resorted to cheap tactics. I can’t see how you think you’re better than them. My family might have made some tough decisions and mistakes while ruling the werecats, but they’re honorable. At least they have been when I could see them. Zuri and I didn’t come here to blow your home up while you slept. We weren’t going to stab you in the back. You could have had a fair fight, and it would have been over. You did this.”
I didn’t know what she was thinking, I just felt the need to talk to her as we circled, knowing the next attack was the last.
“And I might have made mistakes, but I’m trying to do good, Lani. I just want to do good. I’m sorry my definition of good isn’t the same as yours. Obviously, my definition of loyalty isn’t the same as yours. You must think you're loyal to the werecats of our world, but all I see is someone who forgot the meaning of it.”
She roared and charged me. We met, rearing up and clashing, claws ripping out fur. She dropped onto her front paws first, and I dragged my claws down her side as I fell, making her stagger enough for me to knock her over and take a fast bite at her throat.
It was over, my saber teeth sliding through her jugular and windpipe. I didn’t tear out her throat. I felt her blood pump into my mouth as her life faded.
When it was over, I released her and started walking away, overwhelmed.
I’d done it. I’d killed Lani, once my only friend.
Even dead, her betrayal still cut deep.
Zuri followed me in silence.
I was limping by the time we made it back to the car, exhausted. I could have let any of my healthier siblings do this. I could have let any of them go after Lani and end this.
I thought I could carry the burden, but it hurt. Deep in my soul and through every muscle of my body, it hurt.
Changing back into my human form took time. Zuri handed me a first aid kit from origins unknown. I was almost annoyed that she was in so much better shape for all the shit that had happened in the last two days.
“Let me wrap some of those,” she said softly.
“I’ve got it,” I mumbled, grabbing a bandage to handle the worst of it on my right side. I was weak from blood loss but not down and out yet. I didn’t want to be coddled.
I had just killed my once only friend. Comfort was the last thing I wanted from my sister.
It took thirty minutes for us to get into the car, and I let Zuri drive.
“Let’s get you to the hospital—”
“Take me home,” I ordered in a whisper. “I’ll survive. You know I will. Just take me home.”
“Jacky…”
“Please. I just want to go home.”
She nodded in the dark car. I closed my eyes and drifted into a light sleep.
30
Chapter Thirty
“Jacky.”
I opened my eyes, groaning as the car slowed down and parked. I looked out the window to see a burned husk of a building and wondered where Zuri had taken me.
“We’re here. Do you want me to walk you home? I don’t feel comfortable just letting you go without looking over you, and…” She sighed. “It doesn’t get easier when it’s this close to home. Being alone isn’t a good idea.”
“She wasn’t even a good friend,” I said softly. “I was so angry with her. I wanted to kill her from the moment I saw her with Mikkel. And then…”
“And then you killed her. I know.”
“She was my only friend,” I whispered, the emotions threatening to choke me. “There was a time she was my only one.”
“I know.”
“When I wasn’t talking to any of you, and none of you wanted to talk to me, I had Lani. When I was called to Duty, I had her to talk to. And…”
I killed her.
“She tried to kill you first,” Zuri reminded me. I hadn’t realized I’d spoken that last part out loud. “In time, the hurt will ease. You’ll get up one day and remember you did the right thing. And she was no true friend.”
“She said as much.” She had pitied me, being all alone. And in the end, I was just nothing more than a scheme her lover could exploit.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay alone?”
“I need to be alone.” I opened the door and got out, stumbling a little. I held up a hand before Zuri could get out. “I’m fine. I can treat everything and get some sleep. I’ll be okay.”
“Hasan is going to kill me.”
“He can come here and fight with me about it,” I growled weakly.
I didn’t want Zuri taking care of me. I didn’t want anyone. I pushed the door closed and waved at her, then started the slow walk around Kick Shot into the woods behind my home.
It felt longer than usual, and everything seemed different. Maybe it was the evidence of the fire Lani left behind, an obvious mark on my property, like the one she left on my soul—a dark streak of destruction.
The metaphor fit, and I hated it.
I staggered into view of my home and sighed. Going inside seemed like a bad idea, but I knew I needed to get in and clean up so I could get some sleep. I needed to sleep, so I could wake up tomorrow, a new day, and make a meal.
And try to pretend like my home hadn’t been violated. Like my trust in my own kind hadn’t been destroyed. Like my faith in the loyalty Hasan commanded hadn’t been broken.
I made it through my front door, almost freaked out by how nothing was out of place. They hadn’t ransacked my house. Everything was just as I left it, with a little bit more dust. It felt wrong. It felt lifeless and sterile.
I realized with a sudden need, I didn’t want to be alone, and Zuri was gone.
There was one person in my territory, though. One person I trusted to treat my injuries like he had now a few times.
I found my spare car keys and staggered back out of my lifeless house, heading for my car.
Heading for Heath Everson.
I rang his doorbell, even when the sound was obnoxious and hurt my ears. I didn’t have the strength to knock hard enough to get his attention.
I heard him walking around, coming toward the door. It opened immediately, and I stared at grey-blue eyes, eyes I hadn’t realized I wanted so badly to see. The moment they were there, framed in dark curls, I wanted to cry.
He took one look at my body, his nostrils flaring as he scented me and cursed.
“Jacky,” he gasped, grabbing my elbow.
“She’s dead. I killed her.” Helping me cross the threshold of his home, I leaned into him for strength. “And Zuri brought me home.”
“And she left you alone like this?” he growled. His arm snaked around my waist, a
nd his body heat felt good.
“I asked her to. I thought I wanted to be alone, then I was alone, and it wasn’t what I wanted, and…”
“You came here,” he finished for me. “I’ve got you. Let’s get you cleaned up, cat.”
He helped me walk to his living room, and I sat down without a fight on his ottoman, not his couch. I didn’t want to get blood on his couch. I would have preferred not to be on his carpet at all, tracking everything on me around.
He stepped back and frowned.
“No…you need a full shower. What did you do? Run into a burning building?”
“She tried to blow up her house with us in it,” I answered hoarsely. “Apparently, the first time worked so well, she wanted another go. She didn’t want to die without taking one or both of us with her. In the end, she ran out of the house, trying to catch us still inside.” I coughed at the end of that, holding my ribs.
He picked me up, cradling me as he carried me up the stairs into the back bedroom. We passed through into what must have been the master bathroom.
“We’ve been naked around each other before,” he stated plainly. “So, please don’t fight me. You need to get all of this off, so I can treat everything properly. I’m worried I can’t get everything cleaned out.”
“Okay.” I didn’t have much fight left. I lifted my arms, and the shirt came off. He growled softly as I undid my pants, and he started unwrapping the terrible job I had done with the bandages.
His warm, calloused hands were familiar to me now, totally professional as they worked. I appreciated them. They reminded me of bad times, sure, but there were good moments during bad times. Maybe they could help me get through this.
Once I was naked in his bathroom, I noticed a slight shake to those hands as he surveyed the damage.
“You should have gone to a hospital,” he murmured, his fingers barely grazing the long, terrible lines of my fight with Lani and the bite marks and cuts from my fight with Fiora and my escape. I looked down to see in his bathroom light, some of the bruises from my beating had never really faded, still the light, sickly yellow.
“I know,” I said, swallowing. “I didn’t want people around.”
“Well, I’m here for you. I’ve got you now,” he reassured me. He reached into his shower and turned it on. “Tell me when the water feels good.”
I got in without bothering to check, wincing as it started out frigid. Then it heated up to near blistering, and that made me happy. He helped me clean off; soot, dirt, and blood went down the drain. I couldn’t believe I’d walked through a hospital with a lot of this on me. I couldn’t believe Tywin tried me at all when I was in Dallas. I was glad I never looked in a mirror.
When Heath grabbed his shampoo, I frowned. I tried to step away, and he got into the shower, letting the water soak his clothing.
“We’re not done until I say we are,” he growled at me.
I let him lather my hair with the shampoo and rinse it as well.
Finally, the water turned off, and a large, soft towel was given to me.
“I’m burning these clothes,” he said, kicking them out of my reach. “You can borrow something of mine.”
I didn’t fight. I had none left in me. If he wanted to put me in clean clothes, that was okay. That was one of the reasons I think I came here. He wouldn’t bend like Zuri. He wouldn’t accept my independence, not when I genuinely needed him. He would force his care on me, and that was okay.
He didn’t pick me up this time, guiding me back into the bedroom and making me sit on the edge of his bed. He ran out and brought back a first aid kit, getting to work, making sure everything was clean, stitched if needed, and bandaged.
I needed him. At that moment, I had desperately needed him, and he hadn’t turned me away. He hadn’t considered a werewolf shouldn’t help a werecat, or a werecat shouldn’t need his help. He didn’t make anything awkward, even though the attraction had been impossible to deny before everything happened.
He just helped me.
“You never said goodbye,” I reminded him as he worked. Something to make the feelings in my chest remember he wasn’t perfect. No one was perfect.
“When?” He frowned, looking up.
“When I was leaving with my family. You went upstairs with Carey, and you never came down and said goodbye to me.” I didn’t know why I held this expectation he would or even should, but I held it against him that he didn’t. “Actually, you barely looked at me once we made it back to the safehouse.”
“I was trying to be careful. With your family there, I thought maybe I shouldn’t be right next to you. I didn’t want to slip. I’m so careless around you now, Jacky. I didn’t want them to know how I…” He ran a hand over one of my bare hips, and there was nothing professional about the touch. It brought goosebumps as he added just a small amount of pressure and growled softly. The scent of his arousal filled the room and dissipated.
“Oh.” He didn’t want them to notice the barely contained, small flame between us.
“Yeah…” He leaned over. “Let me finish this so you can get dressed, please. I can’t do much more of this and continue to be a good friend.”
Friend. That word. It changed my mood in a split second.
When he was done, I got dressed in his clothes, a pair of sweats and a hoodie much too big for me, and we sat on the edge of his bed together.
I noticed everything now. How our shoulders were touching. How our thighs met. We sank together, thanks to the mattress.
But my mind hovered on the word friend like it was a curse.
“I killed my only friend tonight,” I whispered.
“She wasn’t your only friend,” he said, seeming hurt. “I’m your friend.”
There was a small lie to the words, just a tiny one, hidden in the feelings swirling around.
“No, you aren’t,” I said, swallowing.
“Really? What am I? Because I really thought we were friends.”
“Liar. We both know what you are.”
“Tell me. I’m a stupid man. Please tell me what I am,” he said, something teasing to the words.
“Off-limits,” I murmured. I leaned over and decided I wanted to see. I wanted to see if his lips were as soft as they looked. I wanted to see if maybe that bit of physical interaction would make me feel better.
He didn’t move as my lips found his. When I tried to pull away, my mind trying to rationalize what I was doing, he leaned in, keeping our mouths together. I caught my breath as he wrapped one of those warm hands around my back and pulled me a little closer.
Whatever coldness and pain was in me disappeared for a minute as my body came alive during that kiss. It was like a spark accidentally hit tinder left too close to a can of gasoline. What should have been a small attraction became overwhelming. Whatever we had tried to ignore was now consuming.
When he finally stopped, his eyes were wide. I was certain mine were too.
“I should go,” I said quickly. I struggled to stand up, my body sore. Everything was bandaged tightly, reducing my mobility.
“Jacky, wait, please…”
“I’m leaving. We…” I shook my head.
What did I just do?
“You shouldn’t drive,” he said, trying to stop me, but I was glad he didn’t put his hands on me. I didn’t know if I had the strength to resist melting back into him. “Jacky…“
“I’m going home,” I said, trying to put weight behind it. “Don’t send Carey to me next Monday. I need…I need time. Okay? I’ll let you know when I’m ready for her. Please? I’ll figure out where to put Dirk and Oliver as fast as I can. I just need some space.”
He looked despondent. Slowly, he began to nod.
I took my chance to run.
31
Chapter Thirty-One
March 23rd, 2020
I woke up, sighing heavily as I stared at my ceiling. Last night, a statement went out from Zuri, well, from the family. Niko was now secured on Hasan’s
island, deep in his territory and away from the world. Hisao was healed. I was healed.
And the world of werecats knew not to fuck with us. Not any time soon. Any threats would be met with deadly force by all of the able members of the family. There would be no bargaining, no games. We would destroy them.
With that out there, I knew what today meant.
Today was the day I needed to get back to my life.
The first thing I did was text Heath. I’d had my time to rest. I wanted Carey back. If I was going to face a Monday like it was any Monday, I wanted to do it with my favorite person—a charming, nearly thirteen-year-old with a strong, big heart.
Today, when I looked in the mirror, I considered what had happened as I did every day. It still hurt. It all still hurt too much, but I hoped every day it would hurt a little less. Zuri was right. Eventually, things calmed down, and life came back. The hurt would fade too. The hurt from Shane had faded, and it helped, knowing Hasan truly couldn’t have saved him and hadn’t just put him through more pain by trying.
I was in the shower when my phone rang the first time. When I got out, I frowned when I saw the call was from an unknown number. It started ringing again before I had the chance to put it down. I answered, standing in my bathroom, dripping wet.
“Jacky Leon speaking. May I ask who’s calling?”
“I’m Coyotl, son of Tenoch, and I’m a werecat living in Mexico. I just wanted to make it clear to you, Jacky Leon, I am sad to hear of your recent troubles. Please, also send my good wishes to your father. I respect him very much and would like that known.”
