Jonas breathes through his opened mouth, his chest inflating too violently to be comfortable as he answers. “We have to find Elowen. She can fix Cary and give Valor back his conscience. Oh, and she can find the Lost River, too.” Then he looks down at his hands with utter loss painting his features. I can tell he’s upset about all of us knowing he has perhaps too much magic, but things like feelings can’t matter as much as getting to where we need to be.
“Good. If you understand the mission, then things like pain and fatigue don’t matter. Right?”
Jonas blinks at me in shock. These types of missions are all about mindset. Mother thrust Dad and me into far too many high-stakes situations. If we made it through, our reward was getting to live. There was no room for fear, sadness, or loss of focus on trips like these. Dad made sure I understood that at a young age.
I touch under Jonas’ chin when his head drops from the heavy breathing. “Cary is more important than any reason you might have for taking a break. Once you understand that, the aches and pains won’t matter as much.”
Carrigan protests my stalwart attitude, but Jonas gets up and nods that he’s ready to keep going, so I don’t backpedal. My gut is telling me we need to move faster, so I march to the front of the line and set a more rigorous pace.
“This isn’t the most direct route to Elowen,” Valor corrects me about fifteen minutes in. “We were on the right path, but now we’re off course.”
My gut argues with him, but the feeling is more petulant than certain. I motion for him to join me, but he’s going too slowly, being considerate of Jonas’ haggard state. “We have to move faster. We have to get to her as soon as possible, Valor. I’m serious. Something’s wrong.”
Valor jogs to my side so he can link his fingers through mine. For a moment, I feel like we’re twin misfits lost in the forest. “We’ll get there far quicker if we don’t have to wait for Jonas. Tell me why you’re so upset.”
I tap my stomach, panicking when Carrigan helps Jonas sit down. We’re wasting too much time. “Mother’s angry! She needs me to push harder than this.”
“Aren’t you hungry? I know the others are, judging by their rumbling stomachs, but they’re holding back because they’re afraid of that crazy look you’ve had ever since you woke up.”
“But…”
His frustration slips to the tune of a shout. “This is enough, Sophie! Jonas needs to rest.”
“Of course I’m hungry, but Mother doesn’t care about things like that! She needs what she needs, and if she doesn’t get it, she’ll…”
He holds my gaze, waiting for me to continue. “What? What’s the worst thing she’ll do?”
I’m so hungry and tired that my emotions swing hard and fast when Valor gets in my face. “She’ll take you all away from me! Don’t you get that? Now that I love you, she owns me.”
Valor’s eyebrows scrunch and he cuffs my biceps to shake his brand of sense into me. “Why would you think that? We’re not going anywhere. We won’t leave you.”
Pain chokes me around the throat, which usually locks down my words. But this time, they fling out of me like the crack of a whip. “She took away my daddy because he was a distraction! You have no idea how far Mother will go to get what she wants. I was sick for months before Dad surrendered.”
Valor steps to the right to accommodate Hagan, who also needs to stand in my frantic eyeline for some reason. “Slow it down for us. What are you talking about? Your dad left you when you were seventeen. Is that what we’re talking about?”
My head bobs. “Because I was listening to him instead of Mother! She made me so sick, I couldn’t eat for days. Couldn’t lift my head toward the end. Dad left so Mother Nature would stop torturing me. He died all alone without me years later!” I don’t want to tell them any of this, but they need to understand how dire the situation is. “Now that you’re here? Now that I love you guys so much? It’s happening all over again. If I don’t do what she asks when she asks it, she’ll find a way to tear us apart. It’s one thing for her to make me miserable, but I can’t watch her start in on the people I love. I can’t go through that again! I just can’t!”
Hagan arrests me from Valor’s grip and scoops me in his arms. “Enough. We aren’t leaving you, no matter what that bitch says. And we’ll get to Elowen when we get there. If we take longer than she likes, Mother Nature can suck it.”
My stomach roils, so I scramble to get away. “Let go!” I stagger away from them a few feet and drop onto all fours, knowing what’s coming next. I’ve been foolish enough to defy Mother before, and I know how that plays out. Though there’s not much in my stomach, vomit pours out of me so forcefully it feels like a well-aimed slap of correction. “I didn’t say it!” I plea to Mother between heaves. “I won’t stop until I find Elowen, I promise! I’ll do whatever you want.” More puke, and Valor’s at my side. I want to shove at him to get away. I’m not sure anyone wants company when they’re launching stomach acid up their esophagus, but Valor doesn’t seem to care about my pride. His hand on my back threatens to break me down completely. “Don’t hurt them!” I work out before more and more spills out of me.
Hagan swears, fumbling with the canteens to bring me water I can’t possibly choke down when everything’s still coming up. Carrigan calls from his place next to the supine Jonas, asking if I’m alright. As if I can answer. As if anything will be alright ever again.
“Take it back, Hagan!” I cry, pressure making my eyes bulge. Then I start throwing up so hard, I can barely suck down a gulp of air to keep from passing out.
Hagan is kneeling at my other side, eyes wide from the sight of so much coming out of one person. “I take it back! We’ll get Sophie to Elowen. Just make it stop!”
But Mother isn’t satisfied with that. She punishes me a little while longer just to show Hagan she can. I’m her puppet, and there’s nothing anyone can do to cut the strings she uses to make me dance.
A breeze smelling of fresh lilacs and roses hits my face, but somehow the fragrance’s sweetness is ratcheted up to a nauseating level. My stomach ceases its upheaval that very instant, and I’m so relieved I nearly collapse in the puddle of my own puke. Valor catches me, using a smattering of leaves to wipe off my mouth. Hagan splashes water on my face to clear away some of the vomit and cleanse the sweat from my neck.
Valor tips his head back, inhaling the same sickly-sweet flowery scent that stings my nose. “Elowen’s here,” he whispers, and suddenly his arms around me turn viciously protective. “Keep your wits about you. Whatever you do, don’t promise her anything.”
Hagan tips a few swallows of water into my mouth for me to swish and spit. His arms are quaking with the need to hold me. A gust flows from his lips when Valor finally surrenders my body to his care. My massive shifter sits down in the grass far enough away from my puke. He situates my limp body on his lap, where I can’t help but feel a smidgen of solace in my storm of uncertainty. He doesn’t care about Elowen. He doesn’t care that I smell like fresh barf. He cares about me. The way his fingers fawn over my face makes me dizzy with emotion. I don’t want to cry in his arms, but I’m so turned around and exhausted that a few tears escape and trail down the sides of my face.
“Easy, honeycomb. I’ve got you. I’m not worried about any of it. You hear me? It’s all fixable. It’ll all be okay. Here, drink a little more water.”
“We can’t run out of water,” I protest, but he tips it to my lips anyway.
“We won’t. I still have plenty in my canteen. Been saving it in case you needed extra. Drink.”
I feel awful swallowing three whole glugs from his canteen, but Hagan won’t listen to reason. He needs to take care of me with the same urgency that I need to obey Mother. Hagan cuddles me into his warmth, and I’m overwhelmed by how much I truly love this man. “Please don’t leave me,” I beg through my tears.
“Never,” he promises, gripping me tighter.
Valor stands, his chin raised in defiance when a rustl
e in the trees greets us from up ahead. It starts with a few rascally squirrels, but then droves of woodland creatures start spilling out, scampering toward us as if we’re much-anticipated guests.
Mother roars for me to get up, but she’s out of luck because of her own stupid impatience. I’m too weak to stand yet, so Hagan holds me protectively, growling at the little rabbits, raccoons, and foxes that come sniffing too near for his liking. Carrigan props up Jonas to sitting, his arm banded around his bestie’s chest. He gasps at the sight of the bare toe that steps out from the thick knot of trees.
Chapter Nineteen
Sophie
Though I’ve read countless stories of Elowen, I’ve never seen an image of her. She’s clothed in shreds of pink and cream gauzy material that flow in long strips from her heel all the way over her shoulder and down the planes of her breasts, stopping mid-shin. She wears a belt that has hundreds of tassels that swish when she walks. Her hair is the color of the darkest ink, which makes her look elegant and poised. The saccharine breeze tousles the edges of her ethereal gown. She looks to be maybe in her forties, but I know she’s more than a century old. Though it was Casek who kept her from aging for many years, time still doesn’t seem to have taken too hard a toll on her even in his absence. I don’t know how she’s managed to trick time so thoroughly that the only signs of aging are a few wrinkles around the hollows of her eyes, but whatever she’s done, it takes my breath away.
Hagan grips me so hard I know he’s going to leave finger-shaped bruises. I can tell he wants to take me and run, but he also knows it’s too late.
Elowen’s eyes harden but her mouth remains curved in a pleasant smile when she takes in Valor in all of his glory. His shoulders are rolled back, but his body moves in front of Hagan and me, ready to fend off whatever attack might aim itself at us. It’s a heady thing to go from Mother’s method of pushing me into harm’s way to see if I can survive, to the guys throwing their own safety out the window because I’m in danger of crashing.
When Elowen’s words slice through the air, there’s a grace to her low pitch. I have the fleeting thought that she would probably make an excellent jazz singer. “Valor, to what do I owe the pleasure? It’s been far too long, my pet. I would’ve come sooner, but I had other matters to see to.”
The way she says “my pet” sends a shiver through me. It sounds sadistic and purposefully demeaning, even though her face is still composed in that harmless smile.
Mother is shouting for me to grab my go-bag, but my movements are sluggish. It’s a chore to get Hagan to release me, but he’s so stunned by the sight of the great mage that eventually I slip from his grip.
Valor steps forward, undistracted by the woodland creatures that scurry around his feet. “I’m not here for me, and I’ll be going as soon as I get what I need.”
She lets out an airy laugh through her nose. Her breasts shake like loose Jell-O, her nipples clear through the gauzy fabric. She’s the picture of femininity with her hips curving in dramatic arcs. “Is that so? Are you to tell me how our interactions will proceed? I don’t think that’s how we work. Have you forgotten how to kneel? Shall I remind you of your place? If it’s not by my side, it’s under my feet.”
Valor’s fists clench, and I can see a crimson flush creeping up his neck to punctuate his rage and humiliation. “I am not here for you.”
“I see that.” Her eyes flick to the rest of us. “Have you made friends finally? Forgive me for not introducing myself to whatever scum chooses a man with no conscience as their leader.”
Valor’s jaw is set on edge, but he doesn’t take her bait. He holds himself in place, meeting her superior gaze head-on. “Your magic is growing weak, Ellie. Perhaps you should keep a closer eye on the things you steal from people.”
I crawl over to my bag, opening it so Mother can use whatever she needs. I’m surprised when my hand lands on the dagger, but I don’t question anything at this point. Valor’s use of Elowen’s more intimate nickname is like a lighter that’s held a bit too close to a candle’s wick. She holds out her hands, and I brace myself for whatever attack is about to reign down on him. With the knife clutched in my hand, I do my best to stagger to my feet to help him fend off anything that might blast itself in his direction.
Hagan intercepts me with ease, hooking my waist and shoving me behind his back. The message is clear: he will stand with Valor in my stead.
Carrigan snatches me down to sit with Jonas, who looks little better than I do. Mother’s yelling at me to stand, but any movement takes more effort than either of us are happy with.
When whatever tornado of doom Elowen’s conjured falls flat, she turns her hands to stare at them in horror.
Valor’s laughter is smug and borderline sadistic as I inch forward, moving to stand on his other side. “Missing part of yourself? How terrible must that be.” Then his voice turns cold. “Give me back my conscience, Ellie.”
“What have you done to my magic? Why can’t I…”
“Why can’t you ruin me all over again?” His chest expands with the pride that comes from finally holding the better hand in a deadly game of cards. “Because, Ellie, it’s my turn to ruin you. Your magic won’t work until I say so. Give me back my conscience, and I’ll give you back your magic.”
She narrows her eyes at him. “What use would you have for something so limiting? You were meant for greater things than me, if I remember your words correctly. I took away your limits. You should be thanking me.”
Valor steps forward, and I can feel Mother urging me to plunge the dagger through the side of Elowen’s neck. I hesitate, because I don’t understand it. Yes, she’s terrible for taking something so precious from Valor, but she also guards the only river that has any magic in our world. If I kill her, what becomes of the Healing River?
Mother doesn’t care. She rages inside of me to obey, so I take a timid step forward.
Valor’s voice comes at a low seethe. “Give it back to me, or live the rest of your days as a lowly human with no connection to magic.”
Elowen wavers for a few beats before reaching to her belt to feather one of the tassels that dangles there. I can see all the tendons in her hand, which is taut with barely-contained rage. “Alright. You can have your limitations back. First tell me what madness you travel with that allows you to best me at my own game.” She sniffs the air, her eyes narrowing in on me. “You seem familiar.”
Though I’ve killed before, I suddenly feel nervous, like a child holding a machete. I have no idea what to do with my hands, but Mother seems certain she should take the wheel.
So I give in to the demands of Mother Nature, and ask the world for forgiveness as my body lunges forward with the dagger raised.
Chapter Twenty
Sophie
My blade doesn’t even get close to her because Valor, of all people, knocks me out of the way. His eyes are wide with shock as he grips my wrist. “No, Sophie! You can’t kill Elowen. Twin Rivers needs her because she’s connected to the Healing River. If she dies, the river goes with her. This was your plan?”
I shake my head, confused and completely lost. “It’s not me! Mother wants her dead! I can’t control it!”
“Who is your mother that dares tell you to raise a knife to me, girl?” Elowen’s voice carries a weighty command to answer, but I’m too afraid to speak.
Valor takes in my fear, not turning his face from mine as he answers Elowen. “It’s Mother Nature. Whatever you’ve done has angered the elements, Ellie. Sophie is her conduit. She does the bidding of Mother Nature, who apparently wants your body skewered with this dagger. Whatever you’ve taken this time to add to your little trophy collection, you’ve upset something big.”
Elowen’s mouth opens in shock as my body struggles against Valor to get at her. “Help me!” I cry, worried that I don’t have control over myself at all. “Mother tells me what to do, but she’s never been able to move my hands for me like this unless I give her permission! It’s hap
pening, Valor! Don’t let me hurt anyone!”
Valor rips the dagger from my fist and launches it into the forest. I shout and thrash as Hagan and Valor wrestle me to the ground, pinning my arms down when my body tries to claw at them both.
Carrigan and Jonas aren’t much help, but at this point, I’m not sure anything can fix it all. I’ve finally become Mother’s puppet, unable to lift my hand without her pulling the strings. Hagan’s afraid; I can see it in his wide eyes. Still, he stays in my eyeline. “Easy, honeycomb. I’ve got you.”
When Elowen kneels by my head, a howl of rage belts out of me before dying to a scared whimper when Mother concedes my need to take a breath. Valor holds my chin still as Elowen brushes her sharp fingernails over my forehead so she can better stare into my eyes. She mutters a string of Latin that I’m certain is used to make concealments known, but of course, her attempts at magic are futile.
I’m afraid of too many things. I’m scared I’ll kill the great mage, which is a part of the plan that was cleverly hidden from me until now. I’m also scared that I won’t be able to kill Elowen, and Mother will never stop punishing me. I’m afraid of Elowen’s wrath, that she won’t stop to understand the details. One way or another, I feel doomed, caught in the middle of a fight that was never mine.
Valor grudgingly explains my malady, which changes the way she looks at me. She studies me like I’m some sort of insect with three wings that ought only to have two. “Very well. This is most tedious to do without magic, but I suppose I have no choice. I need saltwater and poplar buds.”
“My bag,” I offer, and Mother punishes me for helping the enemy by making me bite my tongue until I draw blood.
The scent of my blood makes Valor’s nostrils flare, but to his credit, he holds himself back. Hagan wedges a stick between my teeth so I don’t bite my tongue clear in half. Fear rattles around inside of me like a bat trying to find fresh air. But Elowen seems above the chaos—planning instead of panicking. Carrigan shouts for the guys to turn me on my side in case Mother gives me a seizure. Jonas clumsily sifts through the woods to find the cast-away dagger. Hagan is practically crushing me to keep me from rising up to murder the lifeblood and keeper of the Healing River. Valor moves down so he can hold onto my ankles, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles as he tries to keep himself away from the coppery scent coming from my mouth.
Savage Possessed: A Reverse Harem Urban Fantasy Adventure (Twin Rivers Possession Book 2) Page 12
