was like.
She blew her nose on some toilet paper and let herself out of the stall. She gazed at her face in the mirror, wondering why she had to fall for someone as unattainable as Adam Taylor. Why couldn't she have fallen for some nice plumber? Or a civil engineer? Nope, she had to hand her heart over to one of the most famous rock guitarists in the world. And she knew she could never have him. Not entirely.
Staring at her stricken reflection in the mirror, she realized the only way she was going to get over Adam was if she broke things off. Quit him cold turkey. And she had to do it soon; there was no point in delaying the inevitable. This would be their last night together. And she would make sure it was a night to remember so she could treasure it forever.
Heart heavy, Madison took a deep breath, straightened her spine and left the restroom to find Adam. She knew he liked when she showed her naughty side and since she didn’t want to be the only one who remembered their last night together, she’d use that to her advantage. He’d burn for her by the time he went onstage in two hours.
The sound of his guitar no longer filled the arena, but she headed that direction anyway. She wasn’t sure if he'd be in the band's dressing room or on the bus.
Or talking to some gorgeous redhead in a short leather skirt.
Madison drew to an abrupt halt, staring daggers at the woman. She wondered how intimately Adam knew her. They sure were standing close together. And the woman sure was smiling at him in open invitation. Even though Madison couldn't see Adam's face, there was no mistaking him from behind. If the rocker hair and all black attire hadn't given him away, that hot ass of his did.
Madison moved to stand behind him. You like sluts? I can pretend to be a slut. She slid her hand down his ass and squeezed. He whirled around.
“Madison?” he said, obviously astonished that she was the one giving his ass a squeeze in public. He probably would have been less surprised if some woman he'd never met had done so.
“Are you busy?” she asked.
“I was wondering where you wandered off to,” he said. He glanced at the redhead, who was scowling at Madison.
Sorry to get in the way of your good time, bitch, but he’s mine tonight. Madison narrowed her eyes at the woman.
The redhead's eyes narrowed at her.
“I had to use the restroom,” Madison said, her eyes practically closed they were so narrowed now. “I hope you didn't get too lonely without me.”
The corner of the redhead's mouth turned up. “I'd never let that happen,” she said in a low-pitched purr and ran her palm over Adam's thick-muscled arm.
Unless she squeezed her eyelids completely shut, it was physically impossible for Madison to narrow her eyes more, so she grabbed Adam's other arm and jerked him away from his predator.
“Is there anyone on the bus?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “Not sure. We can go check.” He nodded at the redhead. “Later, um . . . ”
“Sarah.”
“Right,” he said.
Madison forced herself not to give Sarah a smug look as Adam took her hand and led her toward the back of the arena where the tour bus was parked.
“You're not going to ask?” he said as they walked.
“Ask what?”
“How I know that woman. I thought you were going to scratch her eyes out for a minute there.”
“I don't really care how you know her,” she said, her spine so rigid she was surprised it didn’t crack under the strain.
He shrugged. “If you say so.”
Madison clung to his hand more tightly. She was such a liar. She did want to know how he knew her. If he was interested in her. If he'd ever had sex with her or if she'd sucked his cock or if he'd so much as kissed her, but it wasn't her business.
“Did you fuck her?” she blurted and then covered her mouth with her free hand. Where in the hell had that question come from?
“Nope,” he said simply.
“Do you want to?”
“When I have you here?” He kissed her temple and squeezed her hand.
“But what if I wasn't here?”
“That would be different.”
And that's why she had to say goodbye to him. Technically, they could continue this way—her dropping everything to be with him when he was in town and those being the moments she lived for—but she couldn't go on like this forever. She'd tell him that in the morning. She wasn't even sure he'd care. A line of women waited to take her place the second she stepped aside.
“But I am here,” she reminded him.
“Exactly.”
Madison was disappointed to find the bus jam-packed with the rest of the band, some other guys Madison didn't recognize and a group of girls who didn't seem to care who fondled what. One of the young women was obviously very drunk and completely topless. When she spotted Adam standing near the driver's seat, she staggered in his direction.
“My friend bet that I couldn't get all the band members to suck my tits. Your turn!” She cupped her breasts in both hands and offered them to Adam. “Someone take a picture of this! I need proof.”
Adam lifted an eyebrow at her. “No thanks, sugar. Some other time.”
“You guys are no fun,” she declared.
“I'll suck them,” offered some guy who was drenched in what had to be beer—he reeked of it.
“I don't want you to suck them, Henry,” SureBet said. “Force,” she called when she spotted the band's drummer coming out of the bedroom at the back of the bus. “You still haven't sucked them. What are you waiting for?”
He took one look at her, returned to the bedroom and shut the door.
“I don't want to go on a date with Katie’s weird brother,” she moaned. Pleeeeeeease don't make me lose this bet.” She stomped her foot in agitation.
“I'll take another turn,” Owen offered with a crooked grin. He sat next to ever-shirtless Kellen on the sofa.
“Okay.” She hurried to shove her boob in his face and didn't seem to care about the bet when Owen's mouth latched onto her nipple. “Cuff,” she moaned, grabbing a handful of Kellen’s long, dark hair and tugging him to her free breast. “You suck the other one.”
Madison gaped at the three of them. Had they no shame? Is that what it took to hang around rock stars? Being shameless? She could do shameless.
Maybe.
She glanced at Adam, knowing she’d decided to let him go after tonight, but the very thought of this being their last night together stole her breath. Maybe she could try being more like the girl getting her tits sucked by two guys at once. Maybe that’s what it would take to keep Adam’s attention. Maybe if she let go of propriety a bit, she’d be okay with him living the life of a superstar and with him screwing around as long as she could be his Dallas hookup.
She was so mixed up she couldn’t see straight. All she could see was how much she wanted him.
“Do you want to hang out here?” Adam asked.
She steeled her resolve and grabbed his crotch, knowing she was blushing to the roots of her hair, but she had no control over that. She did have control over her words. “Not unless you want me to suck you off in front of an audience,” she said. She forced herself to look at him and tightened her grip on the growing bulge in his pants so her hand would stop shaking.
“I would love you to suck me off in front of an audience,” he said in a low voice.
Oh God. What had she done? She'd never expected him to actually take her up on the offer. She slid her hand to his belt buckle and for a moment, as she stared up into his gentle gray eyes, she forgot he wasn’t the only other person on earth. Suddenly, she wanted to suck him off. Madison unfastened his belt, and then her fingers fumbled with his fly.
He caught her hand. “Madison, what’s wrong?” he asked. “You’re not acting like yourself tonight.”
Heart hammering, she opened the top button of his jeans. “I don't know what you mean. It’s no big deal. Don’t women do this for you all the time?”
“But isn't this what you want? A slut who gets your rocks off.”
There was none of the usual gentleness in his eyes as he scowled down at her. “If I wanted that, I wouldn't be with you, would I?”
“Are you with me?” she said loudly.
“Yeah, you see me here, don't you?” His voice was raised in anger too. She'd seen him pissed off, but had never been the cause of it. “What do you want from me, Madison? You're acting so strange.”
She realized the reason his voice sounded loud was because the bus was suddenly silent. She glanced around Adam's body to the other occupants of the bus. Everyone was staring at them. She caught Owen's eye, and he gave a barely perceptible shake of his head. Don't pressure him. His words returned to her loud and clear.
“Can we go somewhere and talk in private?” she asked Adam.
“I have to be on stage in an hour.”
“It won't take long,” she promised.
“Is there anyone in the dressing room?” Adam asked the lead singer, Shade, who like the others was watching their little argument.
“If there is, kick them out,” Shade said, looking at Adam as if he was the biggest idiot he’d ever encountered.
Adam turned and stomped off the bus. Because he was refastening his belt, he didn't hold Madison’s hand as he strode toward the venue. She wondered if he hadn’t stopped her, what she would have done. Would she have shamelessly sucked his cock just to keep his attention? She honestly didn’t know.
Adam made the two crew members taking a break in the band's dressing room leave and then he locked Madison in the room with him. She opened her mouth to speak—having already concocted the perfect line of bull to feed him about her behavior—but before she could begin, he wrapped her in both arms and drew her against him. He buried his face in her neck.
“You're going to stop seeing me, aren’t you?” he whispered.
She was so stunned that she didn't immediately deny it.
“Why, Madison? Is it because I was talking to some other woman?”
“Talking to another woman? No, I wouldn’t stop seeing you over that.”
His body sagged with relief, and her heart twisted.
She forced herself to continue. Cold turkey, Madison. It’s the only way. “But tonight will have to be our last night together.” Her heart was thudding so hard that it threated to break through her sternum.
His arms tightened around her. “No,” he said harshly. “I won't let you go.”
“Adam, I can't do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“Date you. I need to know you're committed to me. And I know you can't be.”
He tugged away and looked down at her. “How do you know that?”
“Well, because, you're famous and women chase you and—”
“They’ll always chase me, Madison.”
And who could blame them? She stared up at him, knowing she wasn’t even going to get one last night with him. This would be the last time she would see him. The last time he held her in his arms. Owen had warned her. Why hadn’t she listened?
Trying to find the resolve to walk out the door and retain a shred of her dignity, she lowered her gaze to his chest and took a deep, shaky breath. The shards of her broken heart tore through her lungs, stealing her breath. Adam’s black T-shirt blurred out of focus behind foolish tears. She squeezed her eyes shut. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t.
Adam grabbed her by the arms and shook her.
“Damn it, Madison,” he said in a harsh growl. “I don't have to let them catch me.”
All the air whooshed out of Madison's lungs and her head snapped up so she could search for sincerity in his expression. “Adam, are you saying . . . ” Already the shreds of her heart were mending. “Would you be willing to . . . ”
“Madison, you're the only woman I give a damn about. If I have to give up fucking chicks I don't give a shit about in order to be with you, what do you think I'm going to choose?”
She lowered her eyes to stare at his chest again. “I don't know.”
He released her abruptly and stepped backward. She forced herself to look up again. She wasn't prepared for the twisted look of anguish on his handsome face.
He shook his head at her. “You really don't know? Madison, I thought you were the one person who understood me.”
“I hoped. I hoped you would choose me, Adam, but I didn't know, so I . . . I was just going to quit you cold turkey without forcing you to choose. My heart couldn’t take it, if you didn't choose me.”
He fisted her hair in both hands and tugged her closer. “Of course I'd choose you.”
He kissed her—a hard, deep punishing kiss that left her disoriented and breathless.
“How could you doubt me, Madison? Doubt your worth?” he whispered against her tender lips. “You’re so much better than I am, baby.” His voice cracked.
She shook her head. “You could have any woman you want.”
“That doesn’t matter. I want only you.”
Could she let herself believe that? She wanted to. But if she trusted him with her heart, held nothing back, gave it all to him, and he betrayed her . . . She clung to him, terrified that he’d crush her heart into a pulp.
Adam released one hand from her hair. He rubbed her flank, his hand sliding up under her skirt. A soothing touch, yet so very not.
“Do you believe, Madison?”
She wasn't sure. She'd never had these insecurities before. It had to be his fame that had her feeling so uncertain of herself. And the cheating. She couldn’t stand the thought of him holding another woman like this. Touching her like this. But was it cheating? He probably hadn’t thought of it that way, but even though they’d never forged a real relationship, it felt like he’d cheated on her. And that she wasn’t good enough to hold his attention.
“Why aren’t I enough for you?” she said, her eyes swimming with tears. “Why do you sleep with other women?”
“Baby, you’re more than enough for me. It’s just . . . I have a healthy sex drive,” he said.
She chuckled half-heartedly, squeezing her eyes shut and swallowing the lump in her throat. “I am well aware of that.”
“I didn't think you'd care about the other women. They kind of go with the territory and you never said anything about it. We never agreed that we’re an exclusive couple.”
Fair enough. “I know. But I do care,” she said. Some part of her afraid that he would run from her, her fingers clenched in his T-shirt. She didn’t want him to run and she didn’t want to quit him cold turkey. She wanted what she thought he was offering. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to believe it was possible. “The thought of you with another woman is agonizing. It’s been driving me crazy since our first kiss.”
His eyebrows drew together as if he'd just had a most disturbing thought. “Have you been with other men since our first time?”
No. God, no. I only want you, Adam. I only ever want you. She couldn’t get the words out. Trying to calm down, she lowered her gaze and took a deep breath. So many emotions were churning through her that she couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh or cry.
“Who the fuck is he?” His hand tightened in her hair and he tugged her head back. He glared down at her, and Madison’s heart rate doubled instantly. Yes, she needed him to be rough with her now. All the emotions swirling within her were too much to bear. And that hand on her ass was deliciously, mind-bogglingly distracting.
“Would you spank me if I said that I spread my legs for another man?” she asked. Because lord, she could use a good, hard spanking right now.
“Did you fuck another man?” He ground his teeth together, a muscle twitching in his strong jaw.
“Did you fuck another woman?” she countered.
“Not as many as I have in the past,” he said defensively.
In other words, yes, he had fucked another woman. Or more precisely, other women. She fucking hated this.
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
Tempt Me Page 5
