by steve higgs
Anthea ran over to help me get it off my back where the makeshift strap had tangled with the hood of my coat. ‘Here,’ she said as she freed it. ‘Where are the darts?’
‘Yeah. About the darts.’
‘What about the darts?’ she demanded. Both Hilary and Big Ben turned their heads to hear my answer.
‘Well, it’s about the number of them that we have,’ I replied as I knelt in the snow to rummage in the bag.
‘Why? How many are there?’ asked Hilary.
‘There’s only one, isn’t there? said Big Ben. ‘You could only make one so we have one shot at this and have to get it right the first time.’
Anthea put her hands to her face. ‘Oh, my God. I knew you would get us all killed. You only have one dart?’
‘No, no. Not one.’
‘Thank goodness,’ she exhaled.
‘I don’t have any.’
There was a stunned silence as Big Ben, Hilary and Anthea all stared at me. I grinned since I couldn’t think of anything else to do. Then the Yeti slammed into the roller door again and Big Ben shouted, ‘It’s just broken the door. I can see daylight through it now.’
I reached into the bag, pulling out what I did have. The problem with making a dart was that it required a complex mechanism that would force the fluid in the syringe out only once the needle had penetrated the target. I just didn’t have the components or the tools to make such a device. After hours of scratching my head I had accepted that I couldn’t solve the problem and had approached it from a different angle.
In my hand, I held a clear plastic bag filled with condoms. Inside the condoms, which were tied at the top with a knot, was the drugs which I carefully measured out using my eyeball and luck. The condoms were strong enough that they flew without exploding but would break on impact. All I had to do now was convince it to swallow the medicine like a good little Yeti.
Big Ben’s eye flared. ‘You are going to feed it those aren’t you?’ he asked, his voice incredulous.
‘Yup.’
‘Cool. For a moment there I thought you were going to have something difficult to do.’ He turned his head to shout through the window, ‘Hey, snow beast. Here beasty, beasty, beasty.’
‘Insane,’ murmured Anthea. ‘You’re both mad.’
The Yeti had stopped smashing against the roller door, but two seconds later, it was back at the window. This time though, when it smashed into the wall, the brickwork shifted. Fine dust settled on the snow below as cracks appeared all over the area of wall around the window.
Big Ben uttered a rude word. I had to agree with his thoughts on the matter though. We were going to run out of time really soon if I didn’t get the drugs into the beast now.
‘Ben, get behind me and help me line the weapon up.’ He rushed to comply. ‘Hilary, I need you to take Ben’s place and call for it to attack the window.’
‘WHAT!’ shouted Anthea, but her husband was already moving.
I lined up the gun on the window. ‘We need it to open its mouth,’ I shouted. I was going to fire the drugs straight down its throat.
It slammed into the wall again, the brickwork shaking again as more of it moved. It wasn’t going to take much more effort from the Yeti to break its way out now. It roared but I couldn’t get a clear shot because it was moving too much.
Hilary saw the problem, and stupidly brave as I knew him to be, he offered the Yeti his arm to bite. He just stepped toward the window and thrust his arm toward the hole. I opened my mouth to scream for him to get clear but then the Yeti charged and I saw my chance. From the shadows of the building, into which it kept disappearing, it darted forward to fill the window with its giant mouth as it tried to bite the arm it could see. Hilary threw himself out of the way.
I pulled the trigger.
The condom hit the creature square on its tonsils and burst open, the liquid hitting the soft flesh of its mouth and disappearing down its throat. The Yeti’s snarl choked off but it was not able to change its trajectory, smashing into the wall once more and this time breaking through it.
The window flew out, striking Big Ben and me as we were stood right in front of it. Bricks tumbled to the snow as the giant beast continued to smash its way out. The hole it had made wasn’t big enough for it to fit through. Not yet, but it was tearing at the bricks with its dinner-plate sized paws and would be free soon.
I backed away, herding Big Ben as I went. Hilary had already scrambled across the snow, Anthea with him as they hurried back to the Ski-Doos. Their efforts would be futile if the Yeti got out though. It would cross the snow far faster than a human and the Ski-Doos were two hundred yards away. Big Ben and I realised that at the same time and stopped our retreat. Better to face it together and hope we could evade it until Anthea and Hilary could grab the Ski-Doos and maybe rescue us.
‘I have to admit, I have never fought anything that big before,’ said Big Ben. ‘But, one swift kick in the nuts though ought to account for it just like anyone else.’
‘That’s assuming it has nuts.’
‘I tell you what,’ Big Ben said as the Yeti broke off another chunk of wall, ‘you hold it and I’ll hit it.’
I smiled despite the desperate situation. We were in trouble this time and I wasn’t sure we could both get out of it in one piece. Another piece of wall went, but this time when the creature roared, it also shook its head. It looked like it was confused about something.
The drugs were kicking in!
Big Ben nudged me. ‘Do we run?’
‘Yeah, I think maybe we do. It’s going to run out of steam soon, lets give it some distance to travel.’
Running in deep snow isn’t the easiest thing to do though. What we could achieve was a hurried shuffle. Hilary and Anthea were safe though. They were almost halfway back to the Ski-Doos, so if the Yeti didn’t pass out before it got to us, they could escape while it was chewing our faces off.
I didn’t look back when I heard more bricks falling onto the bricks already on the ground, but I did look back a few seconds later when I realised I couldn’t hear anything else.
The Yeti was down. It was laying on its front just beyond the fallen masonry and didn’t look like it was getting back up. It wasn’t unconscious yet; its eyes were open and it was moving its head about a bit. We had done it though, and the new hole in the side of the building had given me a great idea.
The Man That Caught a Yeti. Friday, December 2nd 1105hrs.
Now that the Yeti was incapacitated and we could get close enough to inspect it, I could see that it was a polar bear beneath the tusks and horns. The face had been altered to add brow ridges that changed the shape of the face and made it look more fearsome and the tusk and horns had been surgically added, grafted to its skull and jaw at some point. It made me angry that this creature had been subjected to such poor treatment so that people could make money.
Anthea and Hilary were continuing on to the Ski-Doos. Big Ben had shouted the message so they were going to get the machines and bring them to us. Now he and I were trying to work out which of us was brave enough to check the creature was unconscious and safe to touch. It was huge. So big in fact that I had to believe the one-thousand-pound estimate was on the low side. I had added in a fudge factor when I was calculating how much drug I would need to knock it out, but my math was shaky when it came to estimating how long it might be asleep.
We needed to move it, that much was certain and it had started to snow; thick, white flakes gently settling all around us like a promise.
‘Where are we going to take it?’ Big Ben asked.
‘To Harvarti.’
He eyed me quizzically. ‘You want to take the giant beast to the village?’
‘Yup.’ Then I explained my plan. Hilary and Anthea arrived riding a Ski-Doo each and I explained it again to them.
As usual, Anthea had some questions, but to be fair, my plan wasn’t without holes. ‘Will it be unconscious for that long?’
‘I really don’t k
now. If it wakes up, we can cut it loose though.’
Hilary said, ‘That sounds risky. If it gets loose, it could roam anywhere.’
I nodded. ‘The dose I gave it should be good for a couple of hours. Ben found some rope in the building so I say we get to it and get moving. Once people know what it is, they will be able to relax. The Yeti threat will be neutralised so they can reopen the mountain and we can find people to do something about this poor creature.’
Everyone nodded; however, it was with reluctance that we began to hogtie the polar bear. The climbers ropes Big Ben had found had to be part of a mountain rescue kit because they were brand new and there was plenty of them. Let me tell you though that lifting a polar bear’s leg to pass a rope beneath it is not an easy task. We used up fifteen minutes tying its legs and arms and muzzle but now, if it did wake up, I was fairly certain it would not be able to break free and bring havoc to the community. It felt cruel but it was still the most humane thing I could do.
With ropes from the bear tied to the back of the Ski-Doos, Anthea and I pulled away from the building towing the bear across the slope while Hilary was attached behind as an anchor in case the bear’s mass built up speed. Between us, we tentatively headed back to the resort.
It took a while to get there, but we were spotted before we reached the outskirts. Windows facing the mountain undoubtedly allowing anyone looking in our direction to see what we were towing. By the time we were halfway through the small resort, people were spilling from the buildings to see the spectacle and when the first person cheered, it started a ripple that spread through the crowd as it grew.
I turned in my seat to indicate to Hilary that we were stopping, then eased off the throttle to let the machine come to rest. The poor bear was still out cold, something I was thankful for, but I wanted a veterinarian to check it over as soon as one could get here.
I went to check the pulse in the bear’s neck, an act that drew a collective gasp from the crowd as they realised we hadn’t killed it. They still thought it was a Yeti and were keeping their distance. But despite the reluctance to get too close, the circle around us was closing as people at the back tried to get a look and forced the ones in front of them forward.
An insistent voice cut above the general din of noise as Francois the police chief forced his way through. ‘Move aside, I said. Make way.’
When he got to the leading edge of people and separated himself from them, I crossed the distance to him. ‘Francois, I need somewhere secure to put the bear and I need a veterinarian to look after him.’
‘Hold on, you said bear.’
‘Yes, it’s a long and complicated story and we need to get to the wake. Suffice to say that this is not a Yeti. It never was, but it is responsible for killing several people at the hands of its owner.’
‘Its owner?’
‘All in good time, Francois. Will you help me?’
‘Of course, I don’t know where we can put it though. It’s just so big.’
’Do you have a fenced area where we can keep people away from it? It will have to be transported down the mountain over land. It’s too unwieldy to get into the cable car and we are too high for a helicopter so we will have to get it far enough down for a heli-lift I guess.’
‘There’s a lock up for the Snow Cats at the back of the Imperial. We can take it there,’ he suggested.
‘Sooner rather than later I think, and you will need to put a guard on it. Is the cable car working yet?’ I looked across the side of the mountain where I could see the cable trailing away into the distance. It was too far away to see if it was moving but I thought it was.
‘They are still testing it but have reported no damage was found. It should be operational later today.’
Just then, Jagjit and Alice broke through the crowd. ‘Tempest,’ yelled Jagjit as he screeched to a halt. ‘We saw… oh, my God, is that the Yeti?’ he squealed as he noticed the enormous white lump behind me.
‘You were saying you saw something?’ I prompted.
‘Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God,’ he said as he lost his focus once again, ‘that is the scariest thing I have ever seen. Is it dead?’
‘No, the tranquiliser worked like a charm. I just don’t know how long it will be out for.’
Behind me, Francois was having to shout at several young men that had plucked up some courage and were trying to get selfies next to the Yeti’s head.
‘Mr Michaels,’ he called. ‘We need to move it to the compound. Right now.’
I looked around. He was right. I hadn’t thought this part of the plan through. Not at all. The Yeti was attracting way too much attention as tourists crept ever closer. Thankfully, the bear chose that moment to twitch. It didn’t even move much, but it was sufficient to scare those that were looking. Screams lit the air as the crowd tried to implode. Those nearest the beast were trying to run away, while those at the back were trying to push forward to find out what the excitement was all about.
‘Let’s move him, shall we?’ I said to Anthea and Hilary.
Francois forced a hole in the crowd as Anthea, Hilary and I mounted our Ski-Doos again. As we pulled away, Jagjit called out, ‘Hey, where’s Big Ben?’
The Funeral. Friday December 2nd 1300hrs
By my reckoning, we had arrived back in Harvarti right about when Hubert and his wife were skiing the slope by Marie’s favourite spot. The intended Yeti attack would never happen though and the bad guys, because I liked to think of them as bad guys, would now be all flustered trying to work out where the Yeti was. The snow would have done a good job of covering our tracks so they would have arrived at the building they had stashed it in to find a wall busted down and the beast gone.
They would learn that it had been captured the second they returned to the village, but they would remain calm and confident because they had gone way, way out of their way to cover their tracks, so to speak. They had sewn a trail of misdirection to ensure the blame for the deaths, all of them, would be left at someone else’s door. However, I was going to wreck their calm and spoil their day.
Even though it had only been three days, it felt like I had been in this snowy wonderland for weeks. The case had looked impossible two days ago when the man in a suit turned out to be nothing of the sort but once I found the first piece of the puzzle it was like picking at the edge of a piece of Sellotape: once I had prized the first edge up, it got easier and easier until I could grab hold with both hands and yank it free. I didn’t know everything yet, but with what Jagjit and Alice had seen while I was up the mountain, I believed I knew enough to close the case.
The wake was being held in the Constantine Hotel in a private function room closed off to guests. A private ceremony for friends and family had been conducted at 1300hrs at the bottom of the Augille du Rigardi. Hubert would ski the run with his wife and arrive at the service while other attendees were being driven there in Snow Cats. I imagined there would be one or two faces at the service that would be thoroughly shocked to see Hubert and his wife arrive unscathed.
Since I was confident the threat to my client had been nullified, I was waiting for the wake itself where I had a couple of special guests to present. With a small amount of time to kill, I had sent invitations to the special guests, with a mild threat enclosed should they choose to not attend. I had also enlisted Francois to escort them to the wake since they were not officially invited. He had been only too happy to help, his curiosity to hear what I had to say almost bubbling over into a demand because he was the police chief and had a right to know, dammit.
The dogs were pleased to see me when I got back to the room and were even more pleased to be allowed to run around outside. It was warm today, the sun trapped between the buildings of the resort reaching a comfortable sixty degrees. They scampered and played and chased each other since there were no birds to scare from their lawn or squirrels on the fence. I walked them around to the enclosure Francois had put the Yeti in, their little noses beginning to twitch long before t
hey could see anything; they could smell something unfamiliar.
I wanted to make sure the bear was being left alone. I didn’t like that it was still tied up, but it wouldn’t break a sweat escaping the compound, so the bindings were necessary; it was just too dangerous. Thankfully, the poor bear was still unconscious when I got to it. Francois had deputised a couple of hotel staff, big men that looked capable to warding off potential idiots that might try to get close to it. There were people nearby, but all were keeping a respectful distance from the fence. Then I noticed that among the onlookers was Vermont. Stefan and Arthur were elsewhere, the tall American man without them for the first time that I had witnessed.
Bull barked at the sleeping bear. It was his warning bark, the one tinged with promised aggression should it not be heeded. He didn’t know that he was the size of a shoe and about as dangerous. Of course, his dopey brother joined in because they are a two-fer; one dog barks, the other will join in purely from a sense of brotherhood. It didn’t matter what was being barked at; the point was to bark.
I shushed them, but they had drawn Vermont’s attention and he was walking across to speak with me.
‘You are a surprisingly resourceful man, Mr Michaels.’ I inclined my head to acknowledge his compliment. He was staring wistfully through the fence at the bear. ‘I am not used to being wrong and somehow this is twice that I have misjudged the nature of the quarry when I have had dealings with you. I cannot decide if you are very lucky or if I am losing my touch.’ He smiled at himself. ‘A polar bear. I never would have guessed.’ Then he turned away, pausing for a second to make a parting comment over his shoulder, ‘Until next time, Tempest Michaels.’
I watched him go, glad that I had got to the creature first, though I had to wonder if Vermont would have got himself killed in his quest to take the bear’s head. It was unimportant now. I could see that the bear wasn’t being abused and for now, at least, there was nothing more I could do for it. As I started back toward the hotel, I called Big Ben.
