by Ava Miles
“It couldn’t have been easy for you to hear it,” he said. “I realized that after I settled down a bit. It was selfish of me to run off. I should have…held you…or something.”
She tugged him off the sidewalk and out of the light from the lampposts, grateful darkness had descended so rapidly. “You can hold me now.”
His arms came around her. Gently. She rested her head against his chest, listening to his heart.
“I was afraid to tell you the whole story,” he whispered. “That’s why I didn’t say anything in my letters. Not that it’s the kind of thing a person should write in a letter, but you know what I mean.”
“I do,” she said, caressing the tight muscles in his back. “Noah, you didn’t have to be afraid.”
“Martin took the bullet meant for me,” he said. “Before Henry died, he got in my face pretty good. He told me I needed to stop dwelling on that because I could still take a bullet anytime. We all could. He died the next day, and it took me weeks to shake that last conversation with him.”
So she’d been right about the timeline of Henry’s death. “I’m so sorry, but he’s right. Martin did what he did in that moment because that’s who he was. You would have done the same for him.”
“Henry said that too,” Noah whispered, pressing his face into her neck. “We all would have. It’s what you do for the guys you fight with.”
Again, she could feel nothing except admiration for him and for the rest of the boys fighting over there. “Oh, Noah, you all did the best you could. Under horrible conditions. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Martin wouldn’t want that.”
He edged back. “I must have broken your mother’s heart tonight. Did I make things worse?”
She thought of the keening sounds coming from her mother’s room. And her refusal to let Anna in. “Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe it will help her find the end of her grief, if there is such a thing.”
His arms pulled her against him again. “I wish I could have given your brother back to you. Anna, I feel like I failed.”
“You didn’t fail. Martin died, and it’s horrible. But so have thousands of other good men.”
“I miss him,” Noah whispered. “When I was fighting, I didn’t have a lot of time to think about it, but being here…with you…and where he grew up… I keep wishing I’ll see him walking on the street in front of your house or playing ball with some kids in the yard.”
“He loved playing ball with the younger boys,” she said, clutching his uniform. “We’re going to miss him for a long while, I expect, but he’d want you to stop feeling guilty. I know that in my heart, Noah. He’d want you to live a full life and be happy. With me…”
Noah leaned back and touched her cheek. “I didn’t tell you before, but I started falling for you before we wrote to each other. I looked forward to your letters to Martin as much as he did. That’s why he started reading them to me. I think he knew I liked you.”
So her brother had been a matchmaker—even while fighting in the war. “He was the best.”
“Yes, he was,” Noah said.
“Now it’s our duty to honor him by going on and making the most of this life we’ve been given. Noah, you’ve said this is your second chance. I’ve already told you it’s mine too. And as I stand here on the church grounds, I promise you I’m going to make the best of it. Will you join me?”
She stepped away and held out her hand, the first rays of the moon a silver light on her skin. Noah clasped it and brought it to his heart.
“You have my word I will.”
And he sealed that oath with a kiss.
Chapter 11
Noah surveyed the crowd dancing a jitterbug to an old Count Basie favorite. Soldiers in uniforms were locked in step with girls in bright dresses. This was where Anna had been volunteering? Seeing the twelve-story USO in downtown Chicago had shocked him beyond belief. For some reason he couldn’t move past the…glitter of it all. That was the word for it. There was a bowling alley, for Pete’s sake. He’d imagined it so differently. He’d thought the USO would be more like a tiny dance hall with a fold-out table in the corner holding a punch bowl. He knew this place was designed to maintain morale like the others he’d seen with Anna, but did no one remember the war was still going on?
“You’ve been frowning since we first arrived,” Anna said, coming up beside him.
She’d asked him if he’d wanted to dance a while ago, but he couldn’t make his feet move. Not here. Not like this.
“I’ve never been much for this kind of party,” he replied, not wanting to hurt her feelings. He respected her part in the war effort.
“Do you want to leave? I could ask Mrs. Allen about heading out early. She’s glad you’re home and safe. Thinks you’re quite a catch, by the way.”
Margaret Allen was a gracious woman, and from what Anna said, she’d done a superior job as the USO Mama.
“I don’t want to interfere with your service,” he said, fighting the urge to shake his head in disgust as a soldier toppled to the ground, clearly inebriated from something other than the fruit punch the USO served. Another soldier was clearly interested in more than dancing. Anna had written him about needing to fend off cheeky officers, but seeing it first-hand raised his protective instincts.
“Alice says you don’t approve of all this,” Anna said, stepping in front of him and looking into his face as if searching for confirmation. “It’s like the officer’s club on the lake that we saw, isn’t it?”
“Not my cup of tea,” he said. “I didn’t mind getting a drink with the guys every now and again, but I was never into carousing.”
Not that they’d had much time for it. Sure, some of the guys had sought out whores, but Noah had never joined them.
“I’m going to talk to Mama about leaving early,” she said, rising up and kissing him on the cheek. “It’s a nice night out. We could take a walk.”
He nodded, looking forward to the fresh air. The smoke was thick, and the war talk unwelcome. Alice, Anna’s friend, had let it slip about him serving with Audie Murphy, and boy, hadn’t a few of the privates almost lost their shit. He’d been quick to walk away from those conversations.
Talking about Martin had brought back a lot of memories, and it had made him feel more than he’d bargained for. Hell, it was the first time he’d ever sought solace in a church. If he could have found another quiet, secluded place in the neighborhood, he would have, but the church had seemed like his best option. Thank God Anna had found him. Their talk had made them both feel so much better. Whether her mother felt better was still a mystery. She’d barely said three words to him since their dinner a couple nights ago.
That was fine with him. It had given him an excuse to take Anna on a field trip to the library. They’d done some reading about possible careers for him. Though he hadn’t come to any decisions, he’d narrowed the field a little. When Anna had suggested the possibility of a medical career, he’d immediately gone queasy. He’d seen enough guys’ guts to know he didn’t have the stomach for it. She hadn’t liked his pun, and truthfully, he couldn’t blame her.
A private appeared beside him and pointed to the dance floor. “That dame over there said you just got back from Europe. Are you planning on joining our guys in the Pacific? Me, I’m still thinking about it. Don’t much like standing around and dancing while those guys are fighting the Japs.”
Noah shifted his weight until he was facing the soldier. “I feel the same way. I’m giving it until the end of August.”
“That’s a sound plan,” the guy said. “I’m Garrett, by the way.”
He liked the informality of his introduction. “Noah,” he said, and they shook hands. “Let me ask you something since you alluded to standing around. Does all of this…fluff bother you?”
The guy gave a single shake of his head. “You bet. I’m only here because my buddies wanted to come, and truth be told, everything is free.”
Noah took in the crispness of Garrett’s
uniform. The man might be a private, but he conducted himself with respect. “I might not be popular for saying this, but it seems kinda immoral to me, partying like this when others are off fighting.”
Garrett slapped him on the back the same way some of his buddies in the unit used to do. God, he missed them.
“Here’s how I see it,” Garrett said. “These guys have probably seen the same kind of action as we did. They just happen to be the kind of people who were raised on that Bible verse. You know the one. Let me see. ‘Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.’ It’s in Corinthians or one of those epistles.”
“You Catholic?” Noah asked.
“Isn’t everyone in Chicago?” Garrett joked. “Wait, you’re not from the Windy City?”
“No, but my girl is.” He scanned the room for her, but she was still off on her mission. “Private Garrett, you’ve given me a lot to think about. I appreciate it.”
He slapped Noah on the back again. “Who me? Sergeant, you’re breaking my heart. Good luck with the girl. Maybe I’ll see you in the Pacific.”
As Noah watched him walk away, he had to contain his thoughts. God, he hoped not. For both their sakes.
When a few other soldiers offered him a cigarette and tried to engage him in speculation about the war in the Pacific, he politely excused himself. What was the point of talking about it? No one knew anything solid. The radio broadcasts were useless, and Noah felt increasingly frustrated.
“Anna says you two are leaving,” Alice said. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed her walking toward him.
“Seems so,” he murmured. “Anna mentioned the guys here get fresh with you sometimes. I know you take care of each other, but if someone makes you uncomfortable, you let Anna know. I’ll take care of him.”
The brown curl on her forehead bobbed when she laughed. “Oh, I like you even if you don’t approve of what we’re doing here. I have since Martin started writing Anna about you.”
“Thank you, I think,” he replied. “As for the disapproval, you have a private to thank for helping me see all of this”—he gestured to the elaborate party—“in a different light. I still don’t like it, but…perhaps I’m too set in my ways.”
Truth was, before Garrett had set him straight, he hadn’t seen these revelers in wrinkled uniforms as soldiers. He hadn’t imagined them fighting the Jerries like he had. The realization that he’d misjudged the situation, at least partially, made him feel small.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re kind of an egghead, aren’t you?”
She had her head tilted to the side like she was trying to see inside his skull.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess, since most of my schooling came from books and not an official classroom.” The orphanage had been rather lax in that department, focusing more on discipline, hygiene, and keeping them occupied with woodworking and other projects.
“Another reason you should marry a schoolteacher,” Alice said.
He didn’t like to share his business, but she was Anna’s friend. “We’re talking about it.”
She leveled him a look. “Talking! That’s what Anna keeps saying. Who has time to talk? Did the war teach you nothing, solider?”
He stood taller in his uniform. “Excuse me?”
She was bold, but it was little wonder—she was Anna’s friend, plus she’d chosen to work at a defense plant to help the war effort.
“Oh, don’t pull that with me,” she said. “I know it’s none of my business, but this war has taught me there are more important things in life than being polite. You really should marry that girl. And I mean, right away. There’s a war still going on. Who knows where we’ll all be tomorrow? If the Japs can invade Pearl Harbor, who’s to say they can’t get to Chicago?”
Noah thought of Garrett’s biblical quote. “You should meet Private Garrett.”
“Huh?” she asked.
He couldn’t find the private when he looked around the room for him. “Never mind. So you think I should marry Anna? Right away?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling at a soldier as he gave her a saucy wink on his way past them. “She’s solid with a heart of gold. You aren’t going to find better, trust me.”
“I know that,” he said simply, wishing Anna would return. Her friend was a little intense for him.
“Seems some boys can’t wait to get hitched, hoping it’s going to save them from dying. Some do it because it’s the only way they can taste the goods, if you know what I mean.”
He stared at her. Had she really said that out loud? And to a man?
“Some do it because they want to leave something behind, even if it’s a widow. Or a child. You’re a different egg altogether, and I find myself liking you more because of it, even if you are way overthinking this.”
“I believe you already called me an egghead.”
The orchestra switched to something slower, and the couples closed in, many of them dancing cheek to cheek. Noah wondered if Anna had danced like that with any of the soldiers who’d frequented the USO.
“There’s more than one kind of egg,” Alice pressed, fitting her hands on her hips. “Aren’t you going to ask me what other kind of egg you are? You’re an honorable egg. Even if you are too much of one.”
“I didn’t realize that was possible,” he said, steering her out of the way of a couple who was weaving toward them, so in tune with each other their radar was gone. “You’re either honorable or you aren’t.”
“Like I said, you’re thinking too much,” Alice said. “Anna mentioned you’re still trying to decide what to do with yourself. Anything wrong with going back to bartending? My dad owns a bar on the North Side. I could ask if he could use an extra bartender even though it’s a bit far from where you’re staying.”
“That’s a nice offer,” he said, “but I’m just back from the war. I want to give myself some time to make sure I’m moving in the right direction.”
He’d met with the Army representative, who’d walked him through the provisions of the Servicemen’s Readjustment Act. If he went back to school, the government would cover it, with certain limitations. The sergeant he’d spoken with had also offered him to help find a job once he had more direction.
There was another aspect of the Readjustment Act that had piqued his interest—he was guaranteed a loan and discounted mortgage rate on a new home. Even though he hadn’t asked Anna to marry him yet, he’d been thinking about their life together. They would need to find somewhere to live. It wasn’t like they could live with her mother. Even if she were more amiable, he wanted privacy for them. Right now, he wasn’t sure he could afford a place in her current neighborhood, and he didn’t like the thought of making Anna move too far. She was one of them, and her job was right there. Didn’t seem fair.
“What direction are you considering?” Alice asked, proving she was as nosy as she was bold.
He wasn’t a man who shared his musings lightly. Even Niall had left him to his thoughts, only offering him a college pamphlet. Of course, his new friend had joked about him becoming a priest and given a good belly laugh, saying he’d get into more trouble with the bishop than Niall did. Noah had joined in, and it had felt good to be so light-hearted.
“I imagine Anna will share that information with you when she knows it,” he simply responded.
“You’re like an onion,” she said. “But I’m patient when it comes to peeling them.”
He’d never liked onions much. He also couldn’t see Alice being very patient. She’d likely cut the onion in half and mince the hell out of it. “Good to know.”
“Anna’s coming back, so I’ll leave you with this.” She poked him in the chest. “Marry that girl. She’s over the moon about you and clearly you feel the same. Now that I’ve seen you, I’m completely certain you were made for each other.”
Did this woman ever stop talking? The Jerries might have surrendered early just to shut her up.
“You
might ask yourself if Martin would want you to be this honorable.”
A chill touched his spine at the mention of his friend’s name. Even though he’d shared the details of his death with Anna and her mother, he’d never thought about what Martin would want him to do beyond looking after his family. Would he want Noah and Anna to marry? Would he approve?
Martin had known he liked Anna, sure, but marriage was different. It was forever. This was something to think on. Then he caught Alice’s look and almost grimaced. He could hear her thinking, egghead.
“You two look like you’re having a serious conversation,” Anna said, worry pinching the corners of her beautiful eyes.
He took her hand to reassure her. “Alice was only shooting the breeze with me. Can you go?”
Leaving held even more allure now. The onion peeler might take her knife to him a little more if they stayed.
“Mama said sure, since my fella is back,” she said, squeezing his hand. “You’ll have to hold down the fort for me, Alice.”
“Have fun you two,” she said, “and Noah, you remember what I told you.”
He fought back a retort. The woman didn’t mince words, something he usually appreciated, but not about something so personal. Still, he’d think on what she’d said about Martin.
Anna and Alice hugged each other fiercely, and he nearly jumped when Alice popped forward and pecked his jaw. She was a touch on the short side, so she’d practically had to launch herself at him to reach his face. He’d almost grabbed her arms in a hold before stopping himself.
“Bye, Noah,” she said with a mischievous grin as if she’d enjoyed riling him up.
When he and Anna emerged on the street, the summer breeze was still warm on his skin. Anna took his hand again and led him off to the right.
“How about we get the car and go to this spot I know by the lake?”
If it involved some serious parking, he was all for it. He didn’t feel right kissing her the way he really wanted to in her own home, what with her mother sitting upstairs in disapproval. The park beside the school was too public, and the rectory library where Father had told him to invite Anna…
