by L. Loren
“Roast, what kind of name is that?”
“It’s a nickname. I promise if you lay still, I will tell you all about it. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“Cool. Now before I begin, I need your name.”
“My name is Pilar, but my friends call me Pia.”
The man was quiet for a long minute. At first, I thought he left, but then he reached in and took my hand. He sighed and then started speaking again, but now his voice was different. He sounded nervous all of a sudden.
“Okay, Pia, I am going to get you out of this mess. Don’t worry about a thing.”
I guess we were friends now. I mean he did call me Pia. I needed to distract myself from the pain, so I began humming the first song that popped in my head. It was mad inappropriate for the situation. In my head, Alicia Keys was mocking me singing about a girl being on fire. Rude!
“Umm, Pia, that’s kind of a weird song to be singing right now. You wanna switch stations there?”
I giggled before replying. This guy was funny.
“That’s the only song I can think of at the moment. How about I stop singing all together and you tell me why they call you Roast?”
“Yeah, that works for me. Well, you see, as a probie, that’s what they call you when you’re new, I was tasked to cook dinner for the entire station. Now, I have been cooking for myself since I was a kid, and my specialty is pot roast. You can imagine being new and wanting to impress my co-workers. Me being me, I decided that I would brag about my culinary skills to anyone who would listen. I had talked up my recipe and bragged about how mouth-watering and tender my roast was.
“As you can imagine, things around the firehouse get boring and the guys love to play practical jokes. Well, they decided to prank me by altering the temperature gauge on the oven. What should have been a slow and low process, turned out to be fast and furious. I cooked that roast for hours and it smelled wonderful until it was time to take it out.
“I served up that platter of meat all pretty using the best China we had. It was going to be a fine dinner, indeed. I noticed everyone smiling and laughing, but I thought they were just excited to eat my roast. I strutted to the head of the table, all full of myself. I mean you couldn’t tell me nothing. I snagged the electric knife and commenced to cutting into my masterpiece, all while boasting and bragging about how great of a cook I was. I was even cocky enough to announce my food. I stood there in front of the entire house and flailed my arms talking about ‘I give you Roast!’ When I looked down at what was on the platter I almost died. I tell you I wanted to sink into the floor.”
“What happened?”
“The meat cooked alright, but the outside was charred, and the inside was raw. I was so embarrassed that I stomped out of the room to a chorus of my friends yelling ROAST! They started chanting it and it stuck like glue. At first, I hated it, but after a few months, it kinda grew on me. That whole experience taught me a lesson in humility, that’s for sure.”
“OMG! That was a crazy story. I don’t think I would have stayed at that job. I would have left so fast they would have seen smoke.”
“Don’t think I wasn’t tempted to flee, but I knew there would be nowhere to hide. It is such a small town I would never be able to get away from it.”
That man sure was entertaining. I just wish I remembered what he looked like. His face was never clear because of the smoke and the angle in which I was hanging. By the time he got me out of the car, I had passed out from pain and exhaustion. When I woke up, I was in a sterile bed with tubes running up in places most men had never seen. I attempted to get up but was quickly reminded that my body was not capable.
“Ouch! What the hell?”
“Watch your mouth, little girl. You’re not too big to beat.”
“Mama? What is going on? Why does my whoo ha hurt?”
“Calm down, baby girl. That’s just the catheter the doctors put in since you were unconscious. I am sure they will remove it now that you’re awake.”
“What happened? Why am I in the hospital? And why does my face feel like someone took a cheese grater to it?”
“Don’t touch!” I hadn’t seen my mom move that quickly in years. She swatted my hand away from my face before I could feel what was happening with my own face.
“You were in a car accident and there was a small fire. You have some... Well, you have some burns on your face, but you aren’t to touch it. You know, because germs.”
That “B” word set panic loose in my heart. What did she mean some burns? Was my face going to be disfigured or was it just a little spot that I could cover with makeup once I was healed?
“Mama, what do you mean burns on my face?”
“Now calm down. I didn’t want to tell you, but I guess there is no way to avoid it. You will have some permanent damage on the left side of your face, but don’t worry. You will always be my beautiful little princess.”
Mama calling me her beautiful princess sent me on high alert. It wasn’t just her word choice, but also the tone she used. I knew right then I would never be the same. If the damage was minimal, she would have told me to stop being silly, given me a mirror and told me to look for myself. Mama was hiding something.
“Mama, give me a mirror, please.”
“What? Why would you want a mirror? Besides, your face is bandaged. You wouldn’t be able to see anything.”
“Mama!”
“Pilar, calm down. You are overreacting. You need to relax. Think about your blood pressure.”
“You are changing the subject, Mama. Mirror, please.”
I held out my hand for her to place the mirror in it, but she avoided eye contact. Grief wracked my body and I burst into a fit of tears. Now, I never cried, but I couldn’t help it. I knew if Eugenia Coates was refusing to give me a mirror, my face looked like something from a horror movie.
“Where is Daddy? Why isn’t he here?”
“Now you know good and well that your daddy would not let his baby girl be in the hospital without him being there. Can’t you hear him over there calling hogs?”
Sure enough, when I looked across the room, I spotted my daddy laid out on one of those make-shift beds that look like they were made by chiropractors to drum up business. His head was back, mouth wide open and his arms were across his chest as he snored like a freight train. The sight brought a smile to my face.
Two
Gryphon
“Roast! Roast! Roast!”
My team chanted as I put the finishing touches on my signature dish. It had been one hell of a shift and I was ready to eat a hot meal, take a hot shower and get some much-needed sleep. Apparently, twenty-four hour shifts back-to-back are a little tiring.
Placing the last platter of roasted meat on the table, it was a miracle I kept all my limbs intact with those hungry wolves fighting for their dinner. Stabbing a chunk of the roast with an oversized fork, I plopped it on my plate along with plenty of potatoes, carrots and mushrooms. Unable to wait until I sat down, I shoveled a huge portion of food into my mouth just as the guys started in on me.
“So Roast, are you coming out tonight with us? We’re going over to Gordan’s to have some drinks.”
“I’ll pass.”
I grumbled with a mouth full of food. I would rather cut off my left nut than to go to a bar and hangout with my co-workers. Don’t get me wrong, I like each and every one of the people I work with. However, I detest going out for drinks. There is nothing fun about that whole scene. I am convinced that alcohol is the devil. It has ways of turning the nicest people into assholes.
“Man, you never hang out with us. I’m starting to think you don’t like our company.”
My closest friend on the team, James “Doc” Johnson was always asking me to join in their afterhours fun, and then complaining when I declined. He was the only one who could make me feel something close to what I think guilt feels like. Unfortunately for him, I did not subscribe to the idea of feeling bad for not doing somethi
ng someone else wanted me to do.
“And I never will. I told you a long time ago, I don’t do bars, drinking and the like. If you stop asking me, you’ll save yourself the disappointment.”
Doc eyed me up and down while scowling. He had a habit of bullying people into doing what he wanted them to do, but his antic never worked on me. I was just as stubborn and even more determined than he was. When I was younger, I always gave in to other people’s will. I promised myself when I turned twenty-one that I would never do that again. I maintained that I would always stay true to myself. I didn’t care if people hated me for not bowing to their will. It earned me a reputation as a badass, but I don’t know if I agree with that.
“Fuck you, man. I don’t know why we want to hang out with you anyway. You’re always in a mood.”
We both started laughing as he clapped me on the back with his bear claw of a hand. The man had some mitts on him, that’s for sure. For anyone on the outside looking in, they would think we were actually engaged in fighting, but if you knew us, you would know that is just how we get along. If we weren’t arguing, fusing, or busting each other’s chops, there was something wrong.
“I’m not in a mood. I just don’t like bullshit.”
Before Doc could respond the siren blared ending all conversations. Ladder 27 was needed to help save one of the good people of Haywood County, NC. We shot into action. Our food forgotten. The only thing we had on our minds was getting up the mountain to provide fire and rescue services to whoever may be hurt or injured. Throwing our safety gear over our uniforms, we jumped into the trucks and headed out on our next adventure.
When we arrived on the scene, we discovered a single car that had flipped over an embankment and ignited on fire. Thank God the driver was the only occupant. Typically that would make for a quicker extraction, but not today. Our Captain barked out orders and everyone sprinted into action.
“Roast, I want you on the driver. Make sure she gets out in one piece. Grab the jaws and be ready to get her out as soon as the fire is doused.”
“Copy that, Cap.”
I sprinted to the truck and located the laws of life. That was the tool I loved using the most. Not only did it allow me to extract people from deadly situations, but it also allowed me to live out my inner child’s desire to destroy things. Little did I know the very same tool would be putting my life back together. As soon as I approached the car, I could tell the woman trapped inside was injured. When I took a closer look, I discovered I knew the victim. She was the one woman I never got over. I had even more motivation to get my Pilar out of that car and onto the road of healing.
Three
Pilar
“Get me out of here!”
I screamed at my childhood friend Keisha in frustration. I was sick and tired of being in the hospital. I wanted out and I wanted it now! Keisha had gone to nursing school right after we graduated and was now the charge nurse on the burn ward where I was confined.
“If you don’t stop yelling at me, I am going to talk to Dr. Newton and ask him to extend your stay by three weeks!”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Try me. Now stop complaining and start being appreciative of these beautiful flowers that you got.”
I looked at the arrangement that was sent to me by the Haywood County Fire Department. This one was a colorful bundle of daisies, lilies, and baby’s breath. Not one week has gone by without a fresh vase of flowers being sent from them. I thought it was a sweet gesture to show their concern. However, I was a little suspicious as to why they continued to send them after the first week. I figured the first time was a department thing that they did for everyone, but Keisha informed me that was incorrect.
“Keisha, who do I need to contact over at the Fire Department to thank them for these flowers. It is so nice of them to send flowers every week. They must have one big budget.”
“Girl, please. The card may say from the HCFD, but I can assure you they are not from the department. They like never do this.”
“What are you talking about? If they didn’t send them, who did?”
“My bet would be that sexy ass Gryphon Long.”
“What? Why would Gryphon be sending me flowers from the fire department?”
“Well, let’s see. He not only pulled your worthless ass from the car wreck, but he came to visit you every day while you were unconscious. Your mom was not happy once she recognized who he was, so she made him leave. After that, the flowers started arriving.”
My heart started racing at that news. My mom never told me Gryphon was the one who save me. I remembered talking to a firefighter and that he felt familiar but had no idea it was him. She certainly never informed me that he was coming to the hospital to see me. I knew my parents didn’t like Gryphon when we were younger because of his parent’s financial status, but that was ten years ago. We were children. Why would she keep this from me now?
“Well, as soon as I get out of here, I am going to make it a point to thank him for his kindness.”
“Kindness? It sounds more like he’s interested in getting back in your life.”
“You’re crazy. Look at me. Half of my face is melted. There is no way he wants me. He’s just being nice.”
Keisha looked at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen in life. I could feel the hurt radiating from her. I know she felt bad for me, but I didn’t want her pity. I was simply trying to face reality. What hot firefighter would be caught dead dating a monster? None that I knew.
“Who’s to say Gryphon doesn’t like melted? For real, Pilar. I really think he is trying to get to know you again. Just contact him and have a conversation.”
“Don’t do that, Kesh. Don’t gaslight me into thinking Gryphon would want me. Maybe when we were younger, but definitely not now. Plus, with his looks, I am sure the women are all over him. I am no competition for them.”
“Whatever, Pilar. I don’t care what you look like. Gryphon would not be sending you flowers every week if there wasn’t something there. You just need to talk to him. Stop assuming things and let him tell you for sure.”
“You have been smoking a little something if you think I am going to put myself out there like that. Nope. Not gonna happen. I would rather burn the other side of my face off. At least then it would match.”
“Don’t say that, Pilar. You have been beautiful all your life and you still are. You just need to pull from your internal fountain of beauty.”
At that point in the conversation I was finished talking. I wasn’t any where near beautiful anymore. I knew it and so did everyone else. I appreciated what Keisha was trying to do, but it wasn’t working. I knew what I looked like, and it was anything but pretty. To add insult to injury, my mom walked in with a huge makeup case on rollers.
“Look darling, I am going to give you a makeover. Aren’t you excited?”
I looked at Keisha as if to say HELP! There was no way I wanted my mom giving me a makeover. She was the over-the-top type that didn’t know when to say when. With my luck I would come out of that makeover looking like Tammy Faye Baker. I would rather look at the melted skin on half of my face than to do that.
“Hi Mrs. Coates. I am pretty sure Pilar’s injuries won’t allow her to put anything on her scars except the antiseptic that the doctor has assigned her. “
“I don’t think it will hurt her any. My cosmetics are hypo allergenic. Two hours and I’ll have her looking good as new.”
I can’t tell you what came over me. All of a sudden, every bit of the anxiety I was feeling, about my face being ruined, turned into anger. If I looked anything like I felt, I resembled a madwoman.
“Mama, I love you, but if you come anywhere near my face with that mess, I am going to scream bloody murder and have you removed from the hospital.”
“Child, what are you going on about? It’s just a little makeup. It will do you worlds of good. Besides, this is a practice run for the annual HCFD Charity Ball. This year’s theme is Masquerade an
d I have it on good authority that you will be out of the hospital in time to attend.”
“Have you lost your mind? There is no way that I am going to a ball. Wild horses couldn’t drag me there. Nope, not happening.”
Four
Gryphon
“The answer is Hell no!”
“Aww, come on Roast. You are the top choice to represent the single firefighters at the ball. You don’t want to let the entire county down, do you?”
I looked at my captain like he had lost his ever-loving mind. In the five years I have been at Firehouse 27, I have never participated in the charity auction. Sure, I have donated to the fund each year, but I have never even attended the ball. The devil himself couldn’t drag me to one of those bougie events to deal with the people who tormented me all my life. Nope! Not for a million dollars.
“Cap, you know me better than that. This is totally not my thing.”
“Listen, Roast, I need you to do me a solid on this one. I am getting all kinds of pressure from the higher ups to get you on board. Apparently, there is one person on the charity committee who is requesting your presence. They will not take no for an answer.”
“They don’t have a choice in the matter. I do not...”
Before I could finish my sentence declining the request to participate in the charity auction, in walked the one person in the world that would make me commit murder. I swear if I could get away with it, Sia Darlington would be buried somewhere deep in the woods. The woman made my skin crawl.
“Gry – phon” Sia screeched in the most irritating voice you can imagine. I hate when people stretch out my name. Just say it regularly. Or better yet, don’t say it at all. Glaring at the ridiculous woman, I turned to see what she wanted.
“What do you want, Sia?”
“Now is that any way to greet an old friend?”
