by Ember Hollis
“Come,” he flicks a finger at me, leading the way to the kitchen gardens.
“Hey,” I say as we walk. “Why did you agree to this? I mean, I don’t have any choice in the matter but you… I thought you wanted me to leave.”
“I do,” Bane says. “But I always achieve what I set out to do. And even if it means I have to take precious time out of my day to teach an ignorant whore, I will perform my duties as I’m required to, as the Senior Spellwork TA. Until you leave.”
My feet come to a complete stop at the sound of that hated word, and I watch hollowly as Bane continues walking forward down the hall. For some reason, after the Four had come to rescue me, and after what I’d seen in the forest with the resurrected unicorns, I’d gotten the impression that they’d cut me a little slack with the teasing and harassment. Maybe I was a fool to think so. Or maybe I’d done too good a job at staying out of their way. Because it’s clear to me now that things haven’t really changed, not really.
And that would have been fine, because I know now, what assholes the Four truly are. I know it all, and I should be able to accept the fact that they’ll only be nice to me if they need me… except that I can’t. They may not have changed, but I have. And I need them to know that nothing can be the same, ever again.
When Bane notices I’m no longer following him, he turns around with the kind of slow intention a predator might use to scare it’s prey. The kind that should make me hurry to his heels like a puppy and apologize for delaying us. But instead of doing that, I stand my ground, refusing to budge even though the hair on the back of my head is starting to rise, as if my spider-sense (or angel-sense) is sensing an impending apocalypse.
“I’m not going to let you teach me, not until you promise not to call me that, or any other word with that meaning,” I call out to him.
Oh my God!!! When did I grow such big balls?!
I silence the gibbering voice in my head and remind myself how I’d stabbed my own father in the heart. I hadn’t intended to make my stand now, or even to make one at all, but now that I’m doing it, I’m not going to mess it up for myself. I just can’t.
“What did you say?” Bane says in a low voice. His delicate lips are curling again, the way they’re wont to do just before he does something truly horrible, like resurrect a pack of undead animals to chase me all over the school. The sight of that smile is making alarm bells ring in my mind, and I struggle to remember that even such a devastatingly beautiful, evil being does have a weakness. He freaking likes you, Heaven! He’s head over heels for you, remember? He wants to have your babies! USE THAT!
Even with the panicked voice in my head spewing a thread of reassurances and advice, I feel like a huge bull’s eye is hovering over my head. The energy that exudes from Bane as he walks slowly towards me makes me want to sink into the flagstones under our feet, or burst like a bubble on the wind, or do anything really, to get away from where I am.
“I asked you, wha—”
“Bane.” Before I know what I’m doing, I’ve placed my hand on the crook of his arm, my seduction reflexes kicking in to take the place of whatever survival instincts I might have had, that have disappeared into thin air. “You know I’m still a virgin,” I say quietly. “I was the Unicorn Whisperer for goodness’ sake. You calling me that, is not only inaccurate, it’s an insult to the title and achievements Pandora and Chiros bestowed on me.”
Bane’s eyes narrow, and his whole body stiffens as if someone has drenched him in super glue. I stiffen too, feeling as if my hand on his arm is in a whole other dimension than the rest of me, one that allows me to sense more than the typical five basic senses. I can feel the heat of his skin beneath the long sleeves of his white shirt, and hear the tensing of the corded muscle running beneath. There almost seems to be energy coursing between us, sparking the air, and charging it with each breath we take, and each moment we spend connected.
“And, besides, it hurts me when you say that word,” I say even more softly. “I feel like we could actually get along, but every time you say that… it makes it harder to forgive you.”
Such brilliant lines, Heaven! You should just write a sitcom, why don’t you?
I stab and bury that voice within me and carry on. After all, he hasn’t killed me yet.
“Can we just… not be at each other’s throat, just during these classes?” I beg, then subside as the tension between us ratchets up even further, and I realize I’ve stepped in way too close while clutching his arm. The scent of Parnassus blossoms fills my nose and I whisper, “I really want to learn Spellwork. With you.”
As I stare deep into Bane’s eyes, I see what looks like a shimmering pink haze rise between us. At first I think I’m just imagining it, but when Bane takes a deep breath and some of the haze gets inhaled into him, I realize that I’m not imagining it.
Maybe it’s one of my angelic powers. Maybe this is why he’s listening to me. After all, it’s somewhat shocking that Bane hasn’t yet spurned me.
The thought spurs me on, and I focus on the mist, willing it to become denser and stronger.
Bane jerks his arm away from my hand and glares at me with such an intense gleam in his purple eyes, that I feel as if I’m being burned from the inside out.
Then, just as I’m sure he’s going to pull up an undead rhinoceros and have it trample me to death, he spins on his heel and walks away.
It didn’t work!
Immediately, I curl up into myself, clutching both hands to the base of my throat and holding my breath as I watch him take step after step away from me. Any moment now, he’s going to attack… I have to be ready to run… I have to—
“You’re wasting time,” he snarls, interrupting the gaping silence between us. “We have a lot to cover today, so hurry up. Heaven.”
Chapter 14: Heaven
“What’s got you in such a tizzy?” Sibyl asks that evening.
I look up from where I’ve been making happy faces on my plate with sliced tomato, mushrooms and peas, and grin at her.
“Nothing,” I say, simply. But it’s not nothing. It’s far from nothing! I feel like jumping onto the roof and singing out my joy. I’d just spent a whole hour and a half with Bane, memorizing magical glyphs and their meanings, and he hadn’t called me ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ after I’d asked him not to, not even once! It truly seems like whatever I’d done with the pink haze has made a permanent difference in how he’s reacting to me, and the thought that I now have some form of defense against him and any others who might want to hurt me makes me feel over the moon. All I need to do now is to test it against another Horseman or a mean girl or two to be sure that it works. Before then, I want to keep my new power to myself, just in case.
“I’m just really glad to reach another weekend,” I shrug, when Sybil quirks a brow at me.
Sibyl smiles. “Yes, they do come eventually. But I know what you mean, I think I haven’t had a single dull day since you came. Except for when I’d petrified myself in the forest,” she makes a face. “Anyway, do you have any plans for tomorrow?”
“Just going to Themis with Noah,” I say brightly. “I’m going to get a dress for the Dance. How about you?”
“Oh! Can I come?” Sybil exclaims, before immediately backtracking, “Unless it’s a date… is it a date?” She raises a brow knowingly at me.
“Not quite,” I laugh, “We’re splitting up once we get there, so you can totally come.”
“Yay!” Sybil squeals before she covers her mouth and looks at me. We both spill over into giggles. This is the happiest I’ve been since I came to Pandorax, and I luxuriate in how wonderful it feels.
“I’m glad you’re that excited about the Masquerade,” Christian says, pulling up a chair to sit between us. Immediately, Sybil and I freeze and exchange worried looks.
Of course, I can never catch a break.
I steel myself and turn to give him a polite smile. “Christian.”
“I was thinking about sending you a dres
s, but… I think I’m looking forward to seeing what you choose to wear for me,” he says with a smirk. “Just don’t be too much of a goody-two-shoes, little lamb,” he says mockingly, reaching out to stroke my hair. “If you’ve got it, you should flaunt it.”
‘You’re dancing with him?’
I purse my lips as Sybil mouths her surprise at me, then turn to face him. “You’re not the only name on my dance card, Christian,” I say. “And I’ll choose what to wear myself, thank you very much.” No doubt if I let him choose, he’d get something completely inappropriate.
“Oh?” He leans closer, his blue eyes sparking. “Well, whoever it is will just have to get in line.” He leans in further to brush his hand against my cheek and I jerk my face away as a frisson of desire worms its way deep down to my core. I’m beginning to learn that all Christian has to do is touch me to make me want him more than air itself. I’m pretty sure it’s part of his power, which means he’s cheating, and I have to try my best to stop him.
I reach for the pink haze, which I’ve decided to call my Soothing powers, but no matter how hard I try to summon it, not a single spark of pink appears in the air.
“You know I’m only going with you because you threatened to give me away to the harpies,” I hiss at him finally, ignoring the lick of desire churning in me. Maybe I’ve just exhausted my ability on Bane.
I focus on Christian, willing him to leave me alone, in hopes of another power making an appearance. But the longer I look at him, the more I become aware of how handsome he is. Why have I never noticed how elegant his jaw looks, with its dimple right in the middle of his chin, or how long and luxurious his eyelashes are? I find myself gazing at the delicate curve in the cupid’s bow of his lips, until Sybil kicks me and I finally manage to drag my eyes back down to my tomatoes.
“’All’s fair in love and war,’” Christian quotes, a smug smile in his voice.
“Oh really?” I scoff at my mushrooms. “And which is this, love or war? Because I’m a little confused right now. First you Four want me out of the school on pain of death, and now…” I trail off, remembering the intriguing scene I’d seen in the woods between Bane and Christian. I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of it. And after the lesson Bane had given me, which had actually been quite enjoyable… I can’t help but wonder what exactly has been going on all this while, and who the Horsemen truly are when they’re not so busy being mean. After all, if they were so eager to get rid of me, why did they come so fast to my rescue when Mikael took me? Wouldn’t it have been the ideal situation for them if he’d killed me?
“Oh, nothing’s changed,” Christian says smoothly. “I’ve always known you’d spread your legs for me… eventually,” he says, leering at me.
I stand and grab my tray to leave without a word, but Christian grabs my hand, causing one of my plates to drop to the ground and shatter.
“Stop it!” I hiss at him as heads begin to turn.
“And leave you alone?” he hisses back, his normally half-lidded eyes blazing with annoyance. “Do you even know how much I’ve done for you? You act as if I’m carrying the plague, when all I’m—”
“I don’t care!” I cry out, feeling stretched to my breaking point. I’ve tried all week to fly under the radar, and now, with just one mis-step, I’m the center of attention in the worst way, yet again! All the happiness and relief I’d felt earlier evaporates like dew under a harsh sun as dread starts to take its place. Christian was the most popular of all the Horsemen, and now that he’s actually come to sit beside me in the cafeteria, I just know that something really bad will happen to me again because of the other girls’ jealousy. The worst thing of all is that he knows it, and he’s still done it, just to force me to capitulate to his desires!
“You’re really the worst, you know,” I tell him in a shaky voice. “Malek tries to hurt me, but he doesn’t demean me the way you do. And Knox is scary as ass, but I at least understand that he plagues me to get even with whatever offense he thinks I’ve committed. Even Bane doesn’t manipulate me the way you do, he just hates that…”
That he likes me as much as he does.
Somehow, I can’t even put that into words and say it out loud… it’s just too… fragile.
“He just wants me gone. But you!” I fling the words at Christian like weapons. “You hound me everywhere I go, and you force me to be with you even against my will… it’s like you want to consume me, but I know that after you do, you’ll just chew me up and spit me out and move on! How can you even hope that I’ll actually want you, when even if you do do something remotely nice, it’s all just so I’ll sleep with you?”
I draw ragged breaths as I stare at him, feeling strangely vulnerable, while Christian looks at me with so much pain in his eyes, it’s as if I’ve plunged a dagger through him. I’ve never seen him so open before. I’ve never been so honest with anyone before… except just now with Bane, and that… that was still not quite comparable to this.
“So…” Christian says, his eyes shuttering close once again a split second later. I blink, wondering if I’d only just imagined what I’d seen. “You’re starting to like Bane.”
My jaw drops. His words, uttered in such a bland monotone, still spreads like wildfire across the hall. I look up and see everyone staring at me like I’ve just grown a second head.
“What are you talking about,” I try to laugh. “I was just saying that he’s way more mature than you.” Crap. How is that any better? “Not that any of you are that nice. Or attractive. Or remotely the kind of people I’ll ever—”
“Shut it, lamb,” Christian tells me in a voice that sends chills down my back. “You can dance with anyone on Bacchadelia. Just know that even if you prefer Bane, you’ll still have to dance with me.”
Chapter 15: Heaven
Somehow, I make it through the rest of the evening without anyone else harassing me. Then the next morning, Sybil and I head down to Themis with Noah, who feels like a bright ray of sunshine after the thunderclouds that have been hovering over me.
“I’m thinking tuxedo superhero,” he says, striking a pose right in the middle of the street once we’re in Themis. “Either that, or a dragon-rider. Or, better yet, Indiana Jones!” He cracks an imaginary whip against the floor, then sends a nonexistent hat spinning.
“Who’s Indiana Jones?” Sybil asks, wrinkling her nose while I laugh and struggle not to roll my eyes. I’d never known Noah had such a side to him, but the reference still fills me with nostalgia for the somewhat normal life I’d had before.
“Just something from Terra,” I tell her, as I exchange a meaningful look with Noah.
“You can go as whatever you want, just make sure you can dance in it,” I tell him. “Just don’t expect me to try to match you, it’s a Masquerade, not Halloween.”
“Right you are, my lady!” He sketches an over-exaggerated bow, then makes his way down to Savage Row, where plenty of shops are advertising menswear.
“I’m going to get a ball gown,” Sybil tells me. “Otherwise, one look at this and everyone will know who I am,” she says, pointing to her coiling tail.
“Are you hoping to be entirely anonymous then?” I ask, curiously. It didn’t seem like Sybil has any suitors, but I could be wrong.
“Well, there’s a naga and a half-hydra that my parents keep telling me to hang out with,” she says vaguely, “But I don’t want to date someone just because we come from the same community. I’m just going to have fun at the Dance and see what happens.”
Since I’m not yet sure what I want, I browse through the shops while Sybil gets her measurements taken for her ball gown. I’m more than halfway down the street and still at a loss as to what I should get, when I catch sight of what I can only describe as a grown up version of my childhood dream wedding dress, displayed on a model in the window of a charming little shop.
It’s a ball gown with a tulle skirt, dream catcher sleeves, and delicate lace applique in a butterfly motif running down the
bodice, sleeves and the top half of the skirt. Seeing it brings me back to idle, cold or rainy days spent snuggled up with my mom with mugs of hot chocolate and bridal magazines scattered about us. We’d laugh and piece together cut-outs to make our own versions of dresses on those ‘in-between days’, as I used to call them. Because we were in-between Mom meeting a new man, and her leaving an old one, and it was the only time when I had her all to myself. Those were the good old days. I hadn’t yet grown old enough to realize that there was anything weird or wrong about the lifestyle we were living, and that my Mom would never meet The One, or stop collecting a string of exes that could circle the globe countless times over.
I sigh and am about to leave, when a blur of motion catches my eye and I realize that there’s a little old woman in the shop waving enthusiastically for me to come in.
I smile and shake my head, but she’s doesn’t let up. Before I can take another step, she’s at the door, calling out to me.
“Come in, come in!” she says. “That dress is meant for you! You have to try it!”
I really don’t want to, but she’s already unhooking it from the model, and it seems incredibly rude to waste the little old granny’s effort.
“All right,” I say as I step into the warm, glowing interior of the shop. “Just to try it.”
Ten minutes later, I’m standing in front of a full length mirror, unable to take my eyes off how I look in the dress. There must be something magical about it, because the butterflies are gently fluttering their iridescent wings, and every inch of the dress fits me like a glove. I love it so much that I wouldn’t mind wearing it for the rest of my life and being buried in it.
“So,” the little old lady says with a shrewd smile. “How do you like it?” She gazes at me with watery green eyes, her smile making the deep wrinkles lining her face even more prominent.
