by Quirah Casey
He shakes his head but jumps down into the basement, forgoing the stairs. Levitsky goes next and I pause.
This would be the opportune time to turn on them both. Close the trapdoor and lock it so they can’t get out. But I don’t, can’t. Maybe I’m slipping off my game, maybe I’m an idiot, but for all their faults, I kind of…like these guys. Or at least need something from them. That’s it: Uytre, the locator that will finally lead me to the man who fucked up my life. I need that. And until I get my hands on it, I’ll tolerate these men. Then I’ll leave them for dead in a locked cellar. Perfect plan.
“You coming, Pudding?” London’s voice travels up to me.
I smile slightly to myself and jump down to join them.
The basement is one room, about twenty feet across each way. It’s grimy, windowless, and the walls are covered in dried blood. This was clearly a dungeon of sorts, a place Tarae could lock up her byurtids when they pissed her off.
“What happened to that guy who was here last time?” London asks as we look around the dank cell. “Roetresias was his name, I think.”
I frown for a moment, then remember the imp. He was the one who attacked me to protect Tarae.
“I have no idea. I completely forgot about him,” Levitsky says sheepishly.
“I’ll put a alert out on him with my people, see if we can get anything back,” I offer as I bend to examine the chest in the center of the room. I pull out some clothes, throwing them to Levitsky and London. “Check the pockets.”
As I continue to rifle through the chest, I hear London humming in satisfaction. “Found something.”
I turn to find a piece of paper dangling from his fingers. I snatch it, finding an address scrawled across the scrap.
“We should check the place out,” Levitsky says.
“We will, tonight.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The warehouse is in the middle of the town’s factory district. All the factories are closed for the night, the workers gone home, making the street eerily quiet. The warehouse is a big one, though after decades of wear and tear, it doesn't look great.
A shiver goes up my spine as I feel the dark presence that has only come before or after something bad happens.
We’re definitely in the right place.
“We’re just doing surveillance,” Levitsky reminds London and me for what feels like the millionth time. “We’re not engaging with anyone, just scouting.” The agent seems on edge tonight, looking over his shoulder every five seconds and rubbing at his neck.
London frowns. “We heard you the first time you said it, Levitsky. And the second, and the third, and th—”
“I get it,” Levitsky snaps.
London raises a brow. “What’s riding you tonight, mate?”
Levitsky sighs, looking around again, though nothing has changed since the last time he did it. We’re standing under a tree in the middle of a vacant neighborhood, cloaked in shadow. “I don’t know, there’s this presence. It’s making me feel a bit…unnerved. Do you guys not sense it?”
So I’m not the only one who feels it?
“Yeah, feels like death,” London says, his nose wrinkling.
I consider telling them that I’ve felt the presence before, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. I’m not used to sharing information with anyone other than Mel. And I’m still not sure I can trust these men. I decide not to say anything.
Levitsky steps forward. “Let’s just get this done. I don’t want to linger around here too long.”
“We’re going to have to go in through one of the doors,” I tell them as I start toward an entrance.
“What the hell? Wait,” Levitsky hisses, “I could have sworn you two just told me that you’d heard me the first million times I said we were not going to engage.”
“Oh yeah, I heard you. But, unlike you two idiots, I’ve already scouted the place from the outside, and there are no fucking windows. So we’re going to have go inside to actually see what’s happening in there.”
“No.”
I sigh, gritting my teeth. “We need to go in and look around. We’re not going to see anything otherwise.”
“She’s right.” London backs me up. “You can’t get much surveillance info from a windowless building, and if we don’t go in, this trip will have been pointless. We’d be letting a lead slip right through our fingers.” I appreciate the backup, but really, I don’t need it. I’ve already started leading the way to the doors.
“They’re going to be locked. Surely you realize that.” I wave at Levitsky dismissively as I crush the lock with my other hand.
“You really like doing that,” London notes, smirking.
“Why? Just why?” Levitsky hisses, narrowing his eyes at me. “Now you’ve created evidence that we were here.”
I tilt my head, looking at him innocently. “Calm down, Agent, do you think I’m stupid?” I pull a charm from my pocket and wave it at him. “I came prepared. This charm will repair the lock.”
“Why didn’t you just bring a charm to unlock the door?” London asks.
“Because I like to break locks by hand. It helps relieve my anger. Now come on.” I pull the shadows around us as I push the door open. I haven’t told London and Levitsky that I’m a shadow master. Let’s just say we…don’t have the best reputation.
“I brought an invisibility charm with me,” I lie, “so we can’t be seen. Just try not to fucking bump into anything or knock anything down.” This is a relevant warning anyway; even though the shadows make us invisible, we're still technically solid, and running into shit would give us away.
“Where do you get all these charms from?” London questions.
“It’s a trade secret.” My vision sharpens as we move through the darkness, and we fall into silence. We’re in a long, narrow hallway with multiple doors. A flood of smells hits my nostrils: blood, alcohol. Wolves.
I continue down the hall toward the sound of voices and laughter, gesturing for London and Levitsky to follow. Light streams from an open doorway, and I’m soon standing outside a room where at least fifteen creatures have congregated. I recognize a good majority of the chöąts in the room—some because they’ve visited the club, others because we’ve done business before. Or, more accurately, I’ve done business with their urewts.
I’ve never seen any of them in such high spirits. The life they’ve been leading away from their urewts seems to be a hell of an upgrade from the slums. Some of them are sitting around a table playing an intense game of cards, while others giggle on a sofa, watching TV.
So this is what the headquarters of my enemy looks like? A fucking playground. I’m not sure whether to feel disrespected or happy. I mean really, if you’re trying to take on the fucking Blue Devil, you should have your defenses ready at all times. You should take it seriously. You shouldn’t be sitting around having fun and shooting the shit with your buddies. I’m a bit disappointed. I thought I’d finally found someone who could challenge me.
The room’s occupants are a mixed bunch: wolves, vampires, pixies, mothoms, and more, males and females. Yet none of these people are the boss. It’s clear; these are all low-ranking members of society, not powerful leaders who could put together and command an army against me. The person I’m looking for is smart, powerful, and definitely not a byurtid.
I feel a body press against mine and turn my head to find London standing right behind me. He opens his mouth to speak, but I shake my head. They’ll hear us. Levitsky watches us intently.
I jerk my head back the way we came, then lead London in that direction. Once we’re outside, I’m the first to speak. “The leader wasn’t in there.”
“How do you know?” London asks.
I let out a humorless laugh. “None of the people in that room are powerful enough to execute the shit we’ve come up against so far.”
“Shit.”
“We still need to attack, though. Send a message to the leader.”
“Wa
it, what are you talking about? Attack?” Levitsky asks, his fists clenching. “That’s not what we’re doing here. Plus, we don’t have backup.”
He can’t be serious. “We don’t need backup. The three of us could easily take down the people in there.”
He shakes his head. “This isn’t one of your vengeance side projects, Blue. We’re doing this the legal way, and going in there and killing all of those people to send a message to their leader is not legal. Besides, we only looked into one room out of a couple dozen. We can’t rush in with limited information. I’ve let you talk me into a lot of shit over the last couple of weeks, but not today.”
“Blaine is right,” London chimes in, nodding. “We can’t just go in there and kill those people. The leader would still be out there, no doubt with more henchmen to take the place of anyone we take down. Not to mention that Levitsky would lose his job.”
I throw my hands up in frustration, making London take a step back. “Fine, then how about we take them hostage, but leave them alive.” That’s more than reasonable.
Levitsky blows out a breath, his muscles tensing. “No,” he says firmly. “We’re not doing that, and the fact that you’d suggest such a stupid thing really makes me question your judgment.” He shakes his head vigorously, his jaw clenching as his dark eyes meet mine. “You don’t think before you do anything! All you do is storm in without a fucking care in the world, with no thought as to how it’s going to hurt others.” Looking into his eyes, I know his next words aren’t going to be anything I like, but still he opens his mouth. “For fuck’s sake, you’re a mo—”
“Don’t say it,” I cut him off sharply, taking a step back as every muscle in my body tightens. My heart starts to race, red blurring my vision.
How dare Levitsky try to bring up Quest and Journey, especially after saying he wouldn’t.
“Whoa, I don’t know what just happened, but I think everyone needs to calm down.” London steps forward, holding out a hand. He meets my eyes intently, but I’m too far gone, too pissed to give a shit about Levitsky’s fucking job, his access, Uytre. It’s not worth it anymore. He’s crossed a line, and the fact that I haven’t ripped his head off is as good as his luck is going to get tonight.
“This is bullshit and you both know it,” I growl, trying my best to push Levitsky’s comments to the back of my mind. The truth is, his words hit pretty close to home. If I continue to think about them, I’m liable to completely flip the fuck out.
Levitsky’s jaw clenches, but I know he won’t take his words back. “It doesn’t matter what you think is bullshit, Blue. We’re not going to go back into that building, not to kill, not to take hostages, not to do anything else, and that’s final. The CDA has jurisdiction, and they are the ones who need to handle this. I’ll call my captain, he’ll get a team together, and we’ll go from there. Hopefully one of these people will give us their leader’s name.”
I grit my teeth as Levitsky’s unfinished sentence continues to ring through my head. For fuck’s sake, you’re a mother and you don’t deserve to be. The words echo a sentiment that I’ve told myself before. It feels like I’m fighting a battle on two different fronts as I try to keep our verbal argument and my mind from the girls.
It’s hard to speak as my throat tightens. “So what you’re saying is that, despite the fact that we did all the work, the corporate jackasses of the CDA should be the ones to finish the job and get all the credit.” My skin starts to ripple and take on a bluish tint as my scales rise to the surface.
Levitsky blinks as he takes a small step back and studies my body language. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he says cautiously, as if he can feel the brewing storm.
I take a step forward. “No, what I know is that I never should have trusted a fucking CDA agent.” My eyes narrow, becoming serpentine.
Levitsky stands his ground, though there’s a tic in his jaw as his eyes hold mine. “I think I’ve made it pretty clear that the purpose of forming this team was to help all of us. Including you, Blue. But also including the CDA.”
Why am I even bothering to argue with this man? It would be so much easier to kill him and get the whole thing over with.
My vision blurs as the darkness finally starts to descend in full. I can’t be here right now. I’m losing it, and I may not be able to pull myself back if I cross the line. I’m too angry for this to go any other way.
“Fine. Do what you want, Agent, but don’t expect shit else from me. And watch your back.” Then I pull my eyes from him and find London watching me, his eyes far too soft for a man I barely know. The lump in my throat grows bigger.
Get the fuck out of here.
I turn on my heel and run.
Visions of Quest and Journey flash through my mind, their smiling faces quickly replaced by their sad eyes when they find out that their mother is leaving them.
Again.
I gasp out a breath, stumbling as pressure mounts in my head like a thousand drums pounding at once.
The images of Quest and Journey are replaced by a vision of Ru, a scream roaring past her lips.
I failed her too, failed to protect her, and even now I’m failing as I keep her far away.
The pressure in my head worsens and my vision blurs. I’m aware that I’m running, but I don’t process my surroundings.
I gasp for breath as my vision finally clears and I find myself in Oltinie.
I stop outside an abandoned shack, bending over and resting my hands on my knees as I continue to take deep breaths. Chöąts don’t have to breathe nearly as much as humans do, especially not shifters, but I’ve found that, in moments like this one, when I’m losing myself, breathing is a good way to get grounded. Especially if Mel isn’t around. Especially when I’m not even sure I want to be grounded, when I think it’ll be best for everyone if I let the darkness take me until it kills me, putting me out of my misery.
The darkness has tormented me most of my life, growing worse over the years. It’s driven me out of towns, destroyed relationships, burned bridges. But for all that, it still tempts me. There are times I find myself yearning for it, practically begging it to take over, because when it does…it feels good. No more consciousness, no more emotion, no more responsibility or memory or guilt or pain. I can just…be.
I haven’t let the darkness overtake me completely for decades. There have been blips, but I’ve fought for control and won every time. I don’t have a choice; I have other people to think of, and when the darkness comes it knows no one, nothing except destruction. Reeling it in and coming back to myself is a bitch, a torment. But it’s worth it. For Mel, for my daughters, for my town.
I’m not surprised Levitsky’s words have set me off, but still the vigorous reaction was… more than it should have been.
Is there a reason it’s been easier for the darkness to seep through lately?
At the snap of a branch nearby, my thoughts are interrupted and I stand up straight, stiffening my shoulders. I feel a presence roll over my skin, soft and familiar, but it doesn’t make me relax. It makes me more tense if anything.
“Blue.” My name rolls off London’s tongue, quiet, tender. Not a pet name, not this time. His golden eyes glow through the darkness as he watches me, moonlight highlighting his tan skin skin.
“What do you want?” I snap, thinking of the way he took Levitsky’s side.
“I just wanted to check on you,” he says cautiously as he takes a step forward. “Do you want me to call Mel?”
“How did you find me?” If he was looking for me, logically, the first place to go would be the club, not a random, forgotten house in Oltinie.
“I followed you here. At least, until I couldn’t keep up.” He shrugs. “Then I followed your scent and presence the rest of the way.”
“Go away. I’m not in the mood for company,” I grit out.
He doesn’t listen. “You threatened Levitsky. That wasn’t smart.”
“It wasn’t an empty threat, London.
I’m going to kill him. And if you don’t get out of my face, you’ll be joining him.”
“I don’t think you mean that, but I do think you’re going back to that warehouse.” He’s not wrong. I can’t walk away from those people after the shit they’ve done to me, not when I know where to find them. Maybe I won’t kill them, but the opportunity to use them to real in their leader is too good to let go.
“Don’t do it, Blue.” He sighs. “You’ll be fucking Blaine over. He’s a good guy.”
I cross my arms over my chest. Levitsky crossed a line tonight, and while London may not come right out and say it, he’s smart enough to put together context clues and know what Levitsky was going to say earlier. He already had his suspicions about me having kids, even if he’s wise enough not to bring it up right now. Still... “And this from the guy who came up with the plan to double-cross the agent.”
He shakes his head. “I only wanted to use his codes to get to one thing. He wouldn’t have gotten fired from his job.”
“You don’t think stealing his accesses and breaking into the CDA evidence office would get him in trouble?” I throw back.
“Oh, please. You and I both know that could easily be written off. If you go and kill those people and the CDA finds them, Blaine will have no choice but to turn you in and incriminate himself in the process.”
I shrug. “I don’t fucking care. The only things I care about are myself and my people. Levitsky isn’t one of them.” I go to step past him but he grabs my wrist, sparks radiating from his touch.
“Blue, don’t do anything stupid,” he says lowly.
“Get your fucking hands off me.” I shove him against the decrepit house, hard. He smashes into the decaying wood, sending dust and splinters flying through the air. When he stands up, there’s blood dripping from his head and his expression has grown dark, bitter. “Stay the fuck away from me, London, or you won’t live through our next encounter.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I return to the warehouse less than an hour later. I come armed with a backpack, weapons, and a bad attitude. The overwhelming desire to lose myself to the darkness is gone, but my bad mood won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
