She sighed and straightened again. Not her problem. Not her issue to deal with anymore. Like he’d said. Not her concern.
Zac Taylor was out of her life and she’d do just fine. Because she was a survivor. She didn’t need Zac. She didn’t need anyone.
She’d give her notice at Anchorage Mercy as soon as she got home, put their modest little house on the market, then move with her family to California and put all this ugliness behind her. She’d get her mother set up at a nice assisted-living facility. She’d get Clara enrolled in the university of her choice near Big Sur. She’d forget all about Zac and her pipe dream of the two of them having any sort of lasting relationship.
He was a player. Carmen should have known better. Going forward, Carmen would do better.
“What doh kill does fatten.” What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Right.
Now, if she could just get her battered heart back with the program, she’d be all set.
CHAPTER TWELVE
A COUPLE OF days later Carmen was making dinner at home. She had a rare night off and hoped to make the most of it by starting to pack up some things around the house.
After returning from the conference she’d basically gone into “blinder” mode—focusing on all the tasks she needed to do to prepare for the upcoming move to California.
They’d arrived back at Ted Stevens Airport and she and Zac had gone their separate ways without another word to each other. Lance and Priya had both asked her if everything was all right and she’d explained the whole situation to them—including the fake engagement—figuring she had enough deception in her life to last her a lifetime.
Prior to leaving the resort she’d told Ellen and Liz that she and Zac had broken up. They’d felt badly for her, but had said it didn’t change their decision to hire her for the new supervisor position. She was still their top choice for the job.
The truth was out there now—sort of. She and Zac weren’t engaged anymore.
Funny, but she’d expected to feel better about that than she did.
For the past few days she’d kept her head down and her vision focused. She’d turned in her resignation at Anchorage Mercy, begun transitioning her current patients to other midwives on staff, and generally started the slow, sad process of pulling up her roots here in preparation for putting them down elsewhere.
And, yes, maybe in the wee small hours before dawn her mind might return to the weekend with Zac. To how blissful everything had been with him until it hadn’t been anymore. To the way it had felt lying in his arms, holding him close, kissing him under the brilliant Northern Lights.
But she’d firmly remind herself that he’d lied to her about his true identity. That he probably would’ve continued to lie to her for the foreseeable future if he’d not gotten caught. After all, she’d been the wronged party. She’d been the one in the right.
Then images of Zac’s gravely ill father would fill her head. So many times she’d started to pick up the phone to call, to ask him if he needed anything, but then she’d hung up. He’d walked away from her that night. He’d said he didn’t need her, didn’t want her in his life any longer. He wouldn’t appreciate her intrusion now.
Ugh. She stirred the thick soup simmering on the stove and sighed. All of it was such a shame.
She’d heard through the grapevine at the hospital that Zac’s father had been transferred to the Cardiac ICU after they’d returned. Rumor had it he was doing better, though stent surgery to open a couple of blocked arteries in his heart was going to be necessary. The procedure itself was a fairly routine operation these days, but that still wouldn’t lessen the stress on his loved ones. Anytime a member of your family went under the knife it was hard.
Speaking of families, her mama was at the kitchen table now, supervising Carmen’s cooking as usual. She might have early-onset dementia, but that didn’t stop the woman from bossing her daughters around in the kitchen.
“What’s wrong, girl?” Mama looked up from the magazine she was paging through, frowning. “Time longer dan twine.”
“I know...” Carmen leaned a hip against the edge of the counter while she stirred. Mama was right. Even the worst problems came to an end, if given time. She just wished it would be sooner rather than later. “I’ve just got a lot going on right now.”
“Hmm...” Her mother flipped another page. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with dat man you went to the resort with, would it?”
“No.” Yes. Mama had always been far too observant for her own good. “I’m busy, that’s all. Trying to get ready for the move and all. Plus, work’s been crazy, and I’m training my replacement. It’s a lot.”
“But are you happy?” Mama looked up at her, eyes clear and expression lucid. “Dis what you want?”
“Of course.” Carmen turned away and got things together to set the table. “It’s the perfect job at the perfect clinic. I’ve worked hard to get the position and I’ll earn enough money so we won’t have to worry anymore.”
“Worry?” Clara asked, dropping her backpack in the corner as she came in, then grabbing the bowls from Carmen’s hands to set the table. “What are you guys talking about?”
“I asked your sister if she was happy,” Mama said. “Since she been mooning around like a lost puppy after her weekend away.”
“You’ve noticed too, eh?” Clara looked back at Carmen over her shoulder.
That was the great thing about families—you could put on the bravest face you could and they still saw through your BS. That was also the worst thing about them. She’d never been good at fooling people, least of all her family.
Clara got silverware from the drawer beside the sink. “It’s Zac, isn’t it? You like him. I can tell. Is it serious?”
“No.” Yes. Ugh. “It’s not about him. Not really.” Carmen turned off the burner under the soup and shook her head. “He lied to me. After what Papa did, I won’t tolerate a man’s lies.”
Mama snorted. “Your father was a rogue and a rebel, but he never lied.”
Carmen filled each of the bowls with soup, then put the pot back on the stove. “Yes, he did, Mama. He walked out on us, remember?” She took a seat at the table beside her sister and across from their mother. “He never told you about his family and fortune back in Buenos Aires. Just left us behind the first chance he got.”
“That’s not true. I knew who and what he was from the start.” Mama blew on a spoonful of steaming hot soup before eating it. “There was no deception.”
The two sisters exchanged a glance. This was new information.
Carmen sipped her soup, a savory, thick mix of split peas, corn, chicken broth, potatoes, carrots, celery, thyme and pimento peppers. It was a taste of home that always made her miss the island. “Mama, I think you’re mistaken. Papa—”
“No, child. I’m not mistaken.” Mama fixed her girls with a serious stare. “My mind might be going sometimes these days, but I still know what’s true. I remember talking to your daddy the first night we met. Remember it as clear as day. He told me plain about his obligations to his family’s business and that he might have to go home someday. But we were in love and it was a chance I was willing to take. Besides, he gave me you two beautiful girls, so I can’t complain.”
“He left us,” Clara said, scowling. “What kind of man walks out on his children?”
“The kind that’s told to.”
“His wealthy family put pressure on him?” asked Carmen, nibbling on a hunk of corn from her soup.
“No. I insisted he leave.” Mama scowled. “His father had died and it was his duty to take over the company. Your papa was torn. The fact he had two different lives was eating him up inside. I loved him too much to let that happen. So I told him I didn’t need half a man. Told him to go home. Told him to take his money too. He wanted to stay, wanted to put us up in a fancy hous
e and send money every month, but I didn’t want it. Looking back, I suppose I should have taken it. But I loved my life and my independence too much.”
Carmen blinked at her mother a moment. “Wait. So you’re saying Papa wanted to take care of us, but you refused?”
“Yes. I thought I could do it all on my own. Stand on my own two feet. I don’t regret my choices, but I can see now that I deprived you girls of the opportunity to know your father and to know the truth.” Mama sighed and shook her head. “Carmen, I’m telling you this because if you care for this man perhaps you should forgive him, give him a chance to make amends. If you truly want him, don’t make the same mistakes I did. You can have love and a life too.”
“But Papa never tried to contact us,” Clara said. “He just walked away.”
“No.” Mama’s expression turned sad. “He kept his distance out of respect for my wishes. I hurt him badly by cutting him out of our lives. Now it’s too late. He died a few years ago, during a climbing accident in the Andes. I’m sorry, girls. I never meant to hide this from you for so long. But time’s short and you deserve to know.”
The sight of their mother’s tears had Carmen and Clara out of their seats and around the table to comfort her. The woman might have made mistakes, but she was still the strongest person Carmen had ever known.
“It’s okay, Mama,” Carmen said, resting her head against her mother’s shoulder. “Seems this is a time for coming clean all around.”
“Yeah.” Clara sniffled. “Me too. I...uh...got word this afternoon that one of the scholarships I applied for came through. So I can afford to stay here and go to nursing school in Anchorage. It covers tuition, books, room and board. Everything!”
“That’s amazing!” Carmen hugged Clara, fresh tears stinging her eyes—happy ones this time. “I’m so happy for you.”
“And I’ve decided I want to move into that nice assisted-living facility down the street,” Mama said after they’d finished hugging and congratulating Clara. “The one with the pretty gardens in back.”
Carmen sat back on her heels. “You just said you love your independence. Assisted living would mean giving that up.”
“I know.” She patted Carmen’s hand and smiled. “But it’s time. You go off to your fancy new job in California and be free. Beat de iron while it hot.”
“But, Mama...” Her chest constricted. The whole reason she’d gone for the position at the clinic in Big Sur was to support her mother and her sister. Without that, was the extra money worth the pain of leaving behind the place she now called home?
“Sis...?” Clara reached over and took Carmen’s hand. “That is what you want, right?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know anymore. I thought it was, but now I’m not so sure. For so long I’ve been so busy moving ahead. I never considered things might be fine as they are.”
“What about this man?” Mama asked.
“What about him?” She hadn’t seen Zac since they’d parted at the airport, and after the way they’d left things there was little chance he’d want anything to do with her again. “I doubt we can mend our ties.”
“You never know until you try.” Mama cupped Carmen’s cheek and smiled. “You are such a treasure. He’d be lucky to have you, if he’s what you want. But make haste while de sun shine, girl. Good men don’t wait long.”
* * *
Zac stood outside his father’s hospital room, hesitant about going in. He’d worked the night shift the evening before and done his best to keep busy, so he wouldn’t have a chance to brood about this conversation.
Talking with his mother in the waiting room during his dad’s procedure had helped him see things in a different light where his father was concerned, but that didn’t mean the old hurts had completely healed. They needed to have a talk, and this one had been a long time in coming.
He nodded at one of the residents who walked by in the hall, then took a deep breath for courage. Time to plunge in.
Zac opened the door and walked in to find his father looking smaller and older than he remembered. IVs and a blood pressure cuff were attached to one of his arms, and EKG wires extended out from the electrodes on his chest. The white hospital gown stood in stark contrast to his dark skin, and there was a half-eaten bowl of gelatin on the table over his bed, along with his reading glasses and a nearly completed crossword puzzle.
His mother sat in the chair beside the bed, the clack of her knitting needles keeping time with the beeps of the heart monitor.
Both his parents looked up when he walked in, making Zac halt in his tracks.
“Son!” His mom set aside her yarn and got up to give him a hug. “Come in...come in. I was hoping you’d stop by. I need a break. I’m going to take a walk down to the cafeteria and get a snack. Be back soon.”
As she passed by the bed, she gave his father a stern get your business done look.
The door closed behind her, leaving Zac and his father to stare at each other awkwardly.
“Hey,” Zac said at last, resisting the urge to fidget inside his paramedic’s uniform. He’d come straight after his shift and hadn’t taken time to run home and change. “Uh... How are you feeling?”
His father gave a curt nod. “Better. Thanks to you.”
“I didn’t do your surgery.” Zac took the seat his mother had vacated, since it was the only one in the room besides the bed. “Just handled CPR until the ambulance arrived.”
“Stop, son. You saved my life that night at the resort, from what I’ve been told.” His father clasped his hands over his stomach. “I wouldn’t still be here without you, so thank you. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy choice.”
Zac winced. Yeah, given the fight they’d had just before the quake, he’d had that coming. “I’m a professional. There was no decision to make. I save lives. That’s what I do.”
Silence fell between them once more, until finally Zac couldn’t take it anymore. He was here to make amends, one way or another. Time to get it done.
“Listen, Dad. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” his father asked, looking surprised. “I’m the one who owes you an apology, Zac. I let the bad feelings between us fester for all these years. I’m the one who’s made the mistakes here, not you.”
“But this...” He waved a hand toward his dad. “Your heart... I brought that on the other night.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve had high cholesterol for years. Been on medication for it. Not that you’d know, since you haven’t seen me.” His father sighed. “Again, my fault. Not yours. The earthquake didn’t help either. All those people to keep safe. All those repairs to make.”
Zac couldn’t argue with that. “Mom and I talked yesterday while you had your procedure. She helped me understand some things I didn’t before. I don’t condone your affair, and nor will I forget it, but I have a better picture of how things are now. I thought you should know. I’m not saying we can go back to the way things were before your infidelity, but I’m different now too. I have a life and a career that I love here in Anchorage, and I’m proud of that. But...well, I wouldn’t mind having you and Mom be a part of my life again. We could maybe give it a trial run...see how it goes.”
“Hmm...” His dad nodded, his forehead creasing as he blinked hard. “I’d like that, son.”
The last word shook slightly, as if he were holding back tears. And, oddly enough, Zac found himself battling a sting at the back of his own eyes.
“Good.”
His father smiled at last, his eyes slightly watery. “I feared we’d never get to this place.”
“Me too.” Zac sat back in the chair, the knots of tension between his shoulder blades easing. “But I’m glad we did.”
“Same.”
His father scooted up in the bed slightly, setting off the heart monitor. A nurse rushed in to check, waving at Zac before sh
e departed again.
“So, explain to me about this girl of yours,” his father said.
Now it was Zac’s turn to frown. “She’s not my girl, remember? The whole thing was a fake. We haven’t seen each other since we got back, and as far as I know she’s been busy getting ready to move her life away from Alaska.”
His father shook his head. “You serious about this girl?”
“Maybe...” Zac wasn’t sure his newfound accord with his father extended that far yet. “Why?”
“If you like her, she must be special.” His father reached over to pick up his glasses and crossword puzzle. “Where’s she moving to?”
“Big Sur.”
“Gorgeous place. Just opened a new hotel in that area a few years ago. Been looking for someone to run it for me.” His father went back to working on his puzzle. “What’s a word that starts with f and ends in s? Eleven letters? The clue’s ‘absolution.’”
“I don’t need a job, Dad. I have one. I’m a paramedic. A great one—best in Anchorage.”
Some of the knots in his stomach returned. Prior to their falling out, his father had expected Zac to follow in his footsteps. He hoped they wouldn’t go right back to that again.
“I’m happy here,” he said.
“Good.” His father looked up at him then, his expression sincere. “That’s all I ever wanted for you, son. To be happy. And if living here and saving lives is what does that for you, then I’m happy too. Truly. I just thought if you ever needed a place to stay when you came to visit your girl you’d have one at my place.”
“And who says I’ll be going to visit Carmen?” he asked, rolling his stiff neck.
Honestly, he would do more than visit her if she forgave him, but that was neither here nor there at the moment, until he talked to her and begged her forgiveness.
Zac sat up and blinked at his father. “That’s it!”
“What?” His dad scowled.
“The answer.” Zac pushed to his feet and grinned. “Eleven letters. Starts with f and ends in s. Forgiveness. Clue absolution. I need to go.”
A Weekend with Her Fake Fiancé Page 15
