Josh gazed up at her radiant face and bright cherry hair, “But I love her so much.” His eyes pleaded with hers as he peered into her face.
“I know,” the angel said, “but you must set her free. She will come back,” she said. “You will see my son.”
Josh turned the knob and opened the clutch of the case he had just closed. He gently lifted Jackie out of the handbag and held her close to his heart. He rubbed his hand tenderly over her feathers. He looked intently into the angel’s face, “Why do I have to let her go? She’s all I have now.” He lowered his head, “My daddy’s gone and my friend Walter is gone, and I am supposed to be taking care of her for him.” He held Jackie tighter.
The angel smiled at Josh, and her eyes sparkled like crystal. He thought he’d never seen eyes that kind and that loving. Her voice was like the sound of china tinkling. “Now Josh, you must release her and set her free, trust me, Josh. She will come back, but first we need her to complete her mission.”
Josh lifted his hands that were cupped into the air and held them as high as he could, and then he felt a rustle of wings and a flutter of feathers against his skin. Then as soon as Jackie was soaring above him, he wished he could take it back and he began to scream, “No, no, no!” Just then Bradford was shaking him and asking him if he was alright. Josh looked out the window and realized he had been dreaming. The sun was setting in the sky and he was covered in sweat. The Jeep was parked in the driveway, and his mother was unbuckling Tabitha from her car seat.
“Where’s Jackie?” he said frantically, as he climbed up abruptly to look over the seat.
“She’s fine,” Bradford said, opening the door and lifting her cage out of the back.
Josh was greatly relieved to see her, but he could still hear the voice in his ears, the voice that sounded like a tinkling of glass, “You must release her and set her free.”
What’s In A NAME?
Chapter 31
Bradford was thankful that it was Friday evening, and both he and Desiree would be off tomorrow. He knew she was concerned about Walter Kendal since hearing of his escape, but Bradford felt in his heart that the man was harmless. He didn’t know why, but he just had a gut feeling that the whole encounter was a fluke. He picked up Josh, threw him over his shoulder, and thought about how different life was for people with children. He had spent his whole life alone or in relationships that seemed to go nowhere. He wanted to have Desiree over for dinner, but after spending some time at her home and dinner at her grandmom’s, his house seemed rather cold and so uncluttered. It was as if no life breathed there.
Bradford and Desiree got both the children out of their coats and into their beds and then settled in next to the fireplace. Desiree made a pot of coffee and as she sipped from her ceramic mug, she thought about the strange old man who had sat right here in her house and felt a chill. She knew Bradford was here and that she was safe right now, but what if he were to come back? Bradford kept assuring her that he would not be so careless as to come back, but Desiree still felt uneasy. She looked at Bradford and thought about the kiss he’d given her in the parking lot earlier and felt a different kind of shiver, a good one.
“Have you always been called Bradford?” she said. She wanted to shorten it to Brad something terrible but was afraid she’d insult him.
“Well, yes and no, my mother at times would slip up and call me Brad, but my father always used Bradford. He hated nicknames and would scold my mother if he heard her. When I got older and started school my third-grade teacher, Ms. Smith, asked all the children in her classroom if they had a nickname or other name they preferred to be called by. So when she came to me, I said Brad. I was all of eight years old, and it seemed like the cool thing to do at the time until I received my first report card. I remember the day I brought it home. My father looked over the notes from Ms. Smith that said things like, ‘Brad is doing quite well in his studies and it is a pleasure to have Brad in my classroom.’ Well, even at eight years of age, I could see the vein lines bulging in my father’s temple. He kept asking my mother, do we have a son named Brad? Last time I checked his name was Bradford, and he was named after my father Bradford Steven Stiltz! My father marched into her classroom the next morning and informed Ms. Smith that if he intended for his son to be called Brad he would have named him that and that my name was Bradford and he expected her to call me by it. So I have always been rather frightened of people who’ve tried to shorten it ever since.” He chuckled and looked at her and thought to himself, but I think I’d let you call me anything you want.
Desiree curled up on the couch and thought about the day’s events. Her life had changed drastically in just weeks. She ran her fingers through her short silky hair and realized she hadn’t felt this good about herself in a long time.
“So where does a name like Desiree come from?” he said with a smile.
“Well, I was almost Napoleon’s fiancé, almost, just not quite.” She laughed and wondered if he remembered Desiree Clary from his history class. “Yep, good ole Desiree Clary, you know rumor has it she went nuts at the end of her life and was said to go to sleep in the morning and then awake at night and eat breakfast. My mother’s family came over to America from France and my mother found the name unique. I think it’s atrocious,” she laughed and wished secretly that Bradford would still be there in the morning. Why, she’d stay up all night too, she thought.
Bradford knew it was growing late and he should leave, but he enjoyed every second he spent with her and her children. “You know Desiree, I’ve been thinking and I just want to tell you how much I have enjoyed both Joshua and Tabitha. I never really thought that much about children until watching you with yours. You are such a terrific mother, and Josh, he’s so clever and so boisterous. He can be a real piece of work, in a good way, and Tabitha, she’s just a doll. You have made me decide to do something I should have done a long time ago. I want to find my son. What would you think about that?”
Desiree didn’t know what to think. Every other guy that she’d met since the death of John did not want anything to do with her once they found out she had two children. She remembered him telling her about being engaged and Patti giving their son up for adoption. “Well, Bradford that could be really good if he’s receptive or that could be really bad. What if he’s happy with his life and doing well and isn’t even aware he was adopted? You could really throw him for a loop.”
Bradford knew she was right, but it was something that he could never get out of his mind. It haunted him and each time he saw a young man, he wondered what had become of his son.
“How old is he now?” Desiree asked concerned Bradford might get hurt or used in the end.
“He should be around nineteen or twenty if memory serves me correctly. I don’t think it will be too hard with public record database websites. It’s a whole lot easier than it used to be. I never wanted to pry into his life before he was eighteen because I just felt if I had adopted a child, I would want the same respect. Leave me alone and let me raise my child, you gave him up. That’s what I would have told the father.” But it has been over eighteen years and I have had this on my mind for some time now. You have inspired me. I know that the couple that adopted him according to Patti was Catholic and middle class. It has been so long ago only bits and pieces come to mind. I was so angry about her deciding to give him up that I just tried to block it all out. I do know, however, that they lived here in Kentucky. Of course, they may have moved out of state after such a long time; that’s possible. I have even thought about how he could be in Iraq serving his country. For all I know he could be dead! When I think about my weird habits, I wonder if he might have some of the same. Does any of this make since?”
Desiree nodded her head and wondered what it would be like to have a child she’d never met. They sat in silence for some time and from exhaustion began to yawn.
Bradford finally decided that he should leave. “Well Desiree, I guess I should be going. It’s been a wonder
ful day and I have enjoyed every minute of it. Your grandmom is amazing!”
Desiree did not want him to go, but she did not want to come across as needy or clingy, so she stood up from the sofa and walked with him outside. “Bradford, thank you so much for all you’ve done, I mean taking Josh to the doctor’s office and sitting with me was huge. How can I ever repay you?”
Bradford smiled as he contemplated the many ways she could repay him. “I can think of something you can do, actually two things.” He tapped her nose, looked into her eyes, then gently and carefully kissed her. “That was one way and now for number two, stop worrying about Walter and Josh. Everything is going to work out perfectly, you’ll see.”
Desiree was swooning, and for a minute, she didn’t care if the world ended right that second. She was caught off guard that he had kissed her, even though it wasn’t an open mouth kiss, it was still a kiss. This was so different than her relationship with John. With John, it was more of a comfortable feeling, a friendship, but with Bradford it was like a fiery passion erupting inside of her. Her mind had never once contemplated that all this time. What she thought was just him being nice was actually more. Her self-esteem had gone down the toilet after losing John. How could she have known he was attracted to her when she felt so unattractive?
She watched his Jeep pull out of the driveway then walked up the sidewalk and into the house. She was still tingling from the kiss from Bradford when she realized she was all alone for the night. Locking the front door, she walked into the kitchen and looked out the French double doors to the wooded area past the creek. “Walter Kendal, who are you,” she said aloud. “Where are you and why did you come to my house?”
Debbie’s Shadow
Chapter 32
Marcie was nervous about meeting Benjamin at Frank’s restaurant. She had it bad for him and he was playing with her emotions. She knew he liked her and thought she was attractive and intelligent, but there was something strange and dark about Benjamin that she just couldn’t put her finger on.
She was so sick of her mother and father trying to control her life, and at this point she didn’t care anymore. If Benjamin dumped her, she’d get over it somehow. Her hair was freshly shampooed and blown dry and she was wearing a brand new shirt; it was lavender and wrapped around her waist and tied. She had a new brown leather coat and boots to match, and when she walked in Frank’s, men and women stared at her beauty. Marcie felt self-conscious, but no one else could tell that by looking at her. She walked down to the bar and sat down next to an older man with an indention where his wedding band usually sat. He had dark brown hair slicked back like someone out of a mob movie, and he was flicking his cigarette over and over into the ashtray. As soon as Marcie pulled out a smoke, he had a flame waiting.
“Thank you,” she said smiling. He never responded to Marcie, but instead motioned with his head at the bartender and said, “Whatever the lady needs.”
Marcie was too young to drink, but she wondered if she could get by with her fake I.D. “I’ll have a Cosmopolitan,” she said. She and a friend got hooked on them after watching the show, Sex in the City. They were actually quite good and this one was free, so it tasted even better. Not that Marcie cared, she had a credit card in her purse with a ten thousand dollar limit, but it was fun to see what she could get with her looks. The kitchen was behind glass and quite a ways from the bar, making it hard to see. She could make out the white chef coats and the tall hats, but she couldn’t make out Ben.
It was almost 10:00 and Ben got off at around 10:30 or 11:00, but the bar was open until midnight. Marcie took a drag off her cigarette and took a look around the bar. There were two college guys playing trivia at a game monitor. They were talking too loud and trying to impress a brunette with short hair and a tattoo on her neck. She had a friend with her that looked old enough to be her mother, but she was dressed too young and painfully thin. There were two old men, eating peanuts and trail mix, drinking beer and talking shop and then the mob guy who kept eyeing her up and down.
“My name is Jerry, nice to meet you,” before Marcie could tell him her name, he asked her how her drink was.
“Oh, it’s great. Thank you, really you didn’t have to do that. I’m Marcie.”
“Haven’t seen you around here, Marcie. You waiting for someone?”
“Yes, I have a friend who works here. You come here much, Jerry?”
“They should have my name engraved on a brass plate,” he said, then chuckled. “I’m thinking about doing a little gambling later on the casino boat, you and your friend interested?” He smiled and looked her up and down again. Marcie loved the attention and she could tell he had money. She wondered for a second what her father would think if she brought him around. She stood up and took off her leather coat and watched his eyes travel up to her lavender top and then back to her eyes.
“I’m not sure but I can ask him when he gets off.” She knew that would put a stop to her Cosmos, but she loved playing hard to get and with Benjamin it was more the opposite.
“Your boyfriend works here?” he said, as he blew his smoke out of his nostrils, tapped his rocks glass and eyed the bartender.
“Yes, he’s a chef here.” Marcie watched as he smiled and then turned to face her.
“Darlin, what are you doing with a cook?” I can tell by looking at you that you got some class. You could do better than that sweetie, but it’s your life.”
About that time Benjamin came out of the kitchen wearing a white chef coat with his name embroidered on the chest and a white chef hat in his hand. He looked tired and sweaty, but he took her breath away. “Hi Marcie, I see Jerry’s keeping you company.” Ben smiled at Jerry and winked. “I bet you didn’t think I had it in me, did ya Jer?”
Jerry laughed and motioned for the bartender to bring her another drink. “You better hurry Ben, you’re about to lose your little lady out here. I been fighting the men off left and right, but I can only do so much.”
Benjamin leaned in and kissed Marcie on the lips in front of everyone, just to mark his territory. “Let me go change and I’ll be right back, okay.” He looked at her and smiled as Jerry patted him on the back.
Benjamin returned a little later wearing a silk shirt and a pair of jeans. His hair was pulled back and he looked as charming as usual. Marcie wondered about Ben, he came across like a redneck at times, but there was something very distinguished about how he carried himself. She knew he had a rough upbringing, but he didn’t act like it.
Benjamin’s friend Clark came out and joined them. He had short hair almost a razor shave, and he talked like he came from the streets. He was handsome in the fact that he had nice features and had a good build, but there was something about him that bothered Marcie. Pretty soon they were all playing trivia and laughing about who knew more useless bits of information.
Marcie had never been out in public with Benjamin. She had only heard about Clark and the other friends he talked about. She had never witnessed this side of Ben; this was a side of him more open than she had ever seen. He picked her up off her bar stool and swung her around and pulled her tight to him. He looked in her eyes and at one point said, “I want the whole world to know you’re with me.” Marcie felt so safe again and she had let another wall of bricks crumble. So much so that she ended up back at his apartment and back in his bed.
But, this time, it was obvious that she was going to have to compete. There was a framed picture face down on his nightstand and when Ben went to the restroom Marcie pulled it up to take a peek. She was lovely; she had long dark curly hair that traveled the length of the picture. She had dimples, large eyes, and an even larger mouth. Marcie put the photo back down on the table just as Ben entered the bedroom. “What was she like?”
“Who?” asked Ben, knowing she’d seen the picture.
“Debbie?”
“She was incredible, beautiful and I loved her very much.”
Marcie’s heart sunk and she lay there not knowing what to do. She
didn’t know whether to leave, cry or just let him get it all out. “It’s okay Marcie, she’s gone and I am with you.” He touched her nose and began to kiss her. She felt relieved but there was still a weird uneasiness. She didn’t want to be second place in anyone’s life.
Benjamin was working on a buzz, and he had lost count of the beers and the shots of tequila he’d had at Frank’s. He knew he had blown it by forgetting to put Debbie’s picture away. Truth was, he had concocted a lie partially, but there was a girl once upon a time before the wreck, who he had loved very much. He felt bad for Marcie, but he was getting drunker by the minute and she should have known what she was getting herself into.
Marcie’s mind was spinning and she was replaying the evening. All his charm and compliments in front of his co-workers convinced her that he loved her, but she never had to compete with a dead woman before.
He ran his hand across her face and traced her lips. He pulled her to him and began to kiss her softly and before she knew it she was melting into his body, and she was in heaven. He was her soul mate. Then Marcie heard two words that shattered the darkness and left her speechless. Benjamin's lips began kissing her neck and inhaling her skin. He was running his fingers through her hair and moaning softly when all the sudden he began to say two words Marcie would never forget, “Debbie, mmmm Debbie.”
A Familiar Friend
Chapter 33
Bradford awoke with a permanent grin on his face after a night filled with dreams about Desiree. He honestly felt like a teen in high school again and he loved every minute of it. He wasn’t sure how this would go over at work but he couldn’t wait to see her. Life was exciting again and he was ready to explore adventures he had all but given up on. As soon as he got to the office, he was going to get right to finding his son. He couldn’t wait to start a new chapter in his life after years of waiting and wondering. Now he had Desiree to thank for it. Honestly, he couldn’t think of a warmer, kinder, better person to bring home to meet his family. The fact that she had children didn’t bother him. He welcomed them and had actually had more fun with them than he had on any date he could remember. The stuffy, flakey women his friend Tom was forever fixing him up with were exhausting. He had finally found a down-to-earth woman with a big heart and great lips that he’d dreamed of kissing. Just the thought of it made him want to get to work early and see her. He found her new haircut extremely sexy and something about her made him feel so needed and so wanted, but not for his money. This was a new feeling and he was enjoying it.
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