by Pat Parker
Tish: God, that sounds like something Ann-Marie would eat up. I mean talk about old school role playing and romantic bull-shit. That chile is a born freak for it.
Lucille: Come on now. I remember when we were all working at the post office. You were off into the roles a taste yourself. You were supporting that artist girlfriend of yours and expecting your dinner on the table every night. So don’t get too out there on Ann-Marie.
Tish: Lucille! That was in 1968! You know time does allow some people to grow and change. I mean then that was about all there was. Sides I never was really into the shit, but if I didn’t half go along with the program, you all would have thought I was some kind of nut or something.
Lucille: Hell woman we still thought you was some kind of nut. In fact, there is some serious doubt about you now. (Laughs) You know you was just as much into the shit as everybody else.
Tish: Bull, Cille. I remember the first time I went to one of yall’s house parties. I couldn’t believe all those women walking around in evening gowns and tuxedos. I didn’t know a damn thing about butch and femme. This woman asked me what was I and I told her I was a writer. She looked at me like I had lost all my good sense. Course once I found out that the femmes did all the housework, than I had no problem figuring out which one I was gonna be. Hell, I ain’t never liked no housework. Anyways, you getting all off the track. Finish telling me about Ann-Marie’s new thing.
Lucille: Yeah, she’s this student from Berkeley. You know the type. Young, bout twenty-two or something. Athletic, nice body, wearing the latest clothes and just looking for a sugar mama like Ann. Definitely butch, into partying hardy.
Tish: Oh God. You’d think after Tony put that child through all the changes she did, that Ann-Marie wouldn’t go near anybody under thirty again in life. I don’t understand what she sees in these young idiots. All they want is her money, her taking care of them, cooking cleaning, wiping their puke when they drag in drunk after spending her money, using her car to chase all over Oakland. I don’t get it. Young people bore the absolute shit out of me.
Lucille: Say what? I know this is the human loving person of all time talking this. This must be some kind of gist or something.
Tish: The word you looking for Miss smart-ass is ageist, which I am not, but I can’t help making the statement. I mean the problem with young lovers is that I’ve already done most of the things that they are talking about doing and I have no desire to do them twice. You know what I mean?
Lucille: I must admit I know exactly what you’re talking about. Remember when I used to go with Pam. Girlfriend, that child just about wore my ass out. Every night she was ready to go partying. And after eight, most times nine or ten hours a day trying to educate America’s youth, I was not ready for party, party, party. Plus she’d get all excited about some jive like a women’s conference and I couldn’t get her to understand that after you’ve been to two or three of those things that they…
Tish: Two or three! One is enough.
Lucille: I heard that.
(Doorbell rings. Lucille goes to the right of the stage to answer it. Voices heard off stage.)
Lucille: Hey Ann-Marie. We were beginning to wonder if you were going to be able to get out of bed and join us.
Ann-Marie: Hell, girlfriend, I had my doubts for a minute there my damn self.
(They enter arms around each other.)
Tish: Hey, hey. I hear the little bird been hanging around your house, Ms. Jolivette.
Ann: Bird?
Tish: Yeah the bird of love or lust or whatever.
Ann: Shittt. Lust honey, definitely lust. But if this lust gets any better or hotter, I may just fall in LOVE!
Tish: Well, sit down and tell me all the de-tails, please.
Lucille: You want something to drink or eat, Ann-Marie?
Ann: Yeah, you got any pop? I am dehydrated something fierce.
(Lucille goes off to the kitchen.)
Tish: So, give me the scoop. Hear you found yourself a young Adonis.
Ann: Well, her name is…
Lucille: (Walking back into the room) Hold it, don’t say a thang until I gets myself comfortable. I don’t want to miss a word.
Ann: Okay. Give me that pop quick. I think I must have sweated off ten pounds in the last two days. If we hadn’t planned this game I probably would have needed to be hospitalized for something by tonight.
(Lucille gives her the soft drink and sits down)
Ann: Well, like I was saying, her name is Theresa, but she likes to be called Terry. (Lucille and Tish exchange knowing glances) She’s a graduate student at Cal in Social Work. She’s tall and lean and a fucking machine. Ho Chile! She put some move to me that I ain’t never seen. Um Umh Umh.
Lucille: So where is she now? Why didn’t you bring her along?
Ann: So you old biddies can mess with her mind. No no. Naw seriously, I needed a break. I don’t want to do a Tony repeat. Remember she came over one night and left two weeks later to go get her clothes and move in. No. NO. I plan to take this slow and easy, but yall got to know I haven’t felt this good in a long long long time. That girl knows how to push every button I got. She even pushes some I didn’t even know that I had. Umph.
Tish: Well, I’m glad to hear you haven’t forgot Tony. I was worried you might be repeating history.
Ann: Forget Tony! Girl, sometimes I pray that I could forget that bitch. You know that woman had me ready to kill myself. Naw I ain’t going to ever forget her. She made me have to take a long look at myself. I mean she left me with no money, no car, no house, no furniture and even worse, with no self respect. I thought I was going to lose my mind because of that bitch.
Lucille: Ann-Marie, damn. Why didn’t you say something? Maybe we could have done something. I knew you were hurting, but I didn’t realize it was that bad,
Ann: Hey what could you do? I didn’t really want to be around anybody then. I needed that time alone to take a good look at my situation. And you know I didn’t like every thing I saw, but I also figured out that I’m not such a bad person. I’ve got something to offer. And sides, I recovered most of my stuff. Couldn’t recover that lost self respect for a while though. Anyway, enough of Tony. I wish the bitch all the hell in the world. You know if what they say is true about what goes around comes around then that poor chile is in for some really hard times. She might wake up dead some fine day.
Tish: Still, we could have offered some kind of moral support. I mean we thought you had everything under control. Or maybe we could have gone and personally kicked Tony’s ass for you.
Ann: Not to worry darling. I did that myself. That’s how I got my car and car keys back. You know the bitch had the nerve to make a second set of keys to my car for her sloosie. I bet she lost many points on the butch scale that night, cause I was on her ass like white on rice. Considering that yall didn’t hear anything, she must have gone into hiding until she healed and took her lover with her. I didn’t know I could be so badddd.
Lucille: Wait a minute. What do you mean you was bad? Are you sitting here telling us that you, Miss Ann-Marie Jolivette, the pride of the Alameda county Department of Social Services, allowed herself to engage in pugilistics? Naw, naw, I do not believe what my ears are reporting.
Ann: No, I didn’t say a damn thing about pug ga shit. I went over to the bitch’s house and kicked her long skinny ass until I got tired. And then threatened to kick her new cunt’s ass too. Took my car and keys and told them both to stay very clear of me for a long time. And you know all the crap they tell us about vengeance is mine saith the Lord and forgiving? Well, let me go on record as saying that everytime I fired that slime up it felt sooooo good! I damn near had an orgasm from it. Got so stirred up I had to go to the bar and pick up somebody, all sweaty, bruised knuckles and all.
Lucille: If I had not heard this, I swear…
Tish: Chile, hush. You know in the same situation you would have been out with your little Saturday night special trying to shoot somebody.<
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Cille: Really now you know me better than that. First off, I would never be in that kind of situation.
Ann: Wait just a mi…
Lucille: Hold on now, Ann. Calm down. I’m not putting you down. The fact is you and I are real different when it comes to how we handle our lovers. You’re much more generous than I am. (smiles at Tish) I’m too cautious to ever let a lover drive my car let alone let one have a key. Hey, if they ain’t got they own, then they have to ride with me or BART it.
Tish: Hey for real, the child is being truthful. I remember one time when uh, what’s her name, you know the lab tech…
Ann: Oh er Nadine.
Tish: Yeah, Nadine borrows a buck from Cille so she can get across the Bay bridge and girl don’t you know that Cille charged the girl a quarter interest.
Lucille: Tish! You are such a liar.
Tish: Naw really, in fact if the girl hadn’t been in such a hurry to get to work, she probably would have asked her for collateral.
Lucille: Tish you are so jive. Anyway, Ann tell me more about this new interest in your life.
Ann: What’s to say really. We’re just getting to know each other and taking it slowly. Like I said, she a grad student in social work, which is nice, because I rap about work and she’s really interested. The welfare department represents a career to her not just a temporary gig. She spent four years in the service so she’s not dumb about what life is, you know. She’s fun to be with right now. We have the greatest time in bed imaginable. Hey I got no complaints at this point in the game, but believe me I am going to take it real slow and easy. I have learned my lesson.
Tish: Speaking of lessons, when are we going to play cards and where the hell is Theo? I’m ready to start my classes.
Ann: Classes? Will you listen at this. Chum who do you think you selling? The way you bid over your head all we have to do is sit back and set your tail.
Tish: Well, hell as scared as you turkeys are about bidding, if I didn’t open my mouth we’d play every damn hand at 50.
Lucille: Well, it’s not our fault Tish, if you think being a radical means you got to be out in front in everything, even cards.
Tish: Wait…
Lucille: Hold on, I’m just kidding. Why don’t we play a hand or two of cut throat until Theo gets here. She’s probably off somewhere underneath her car.
Ann: Now that’s for real. I do not understand why that chile doesn’t buy herself a decent car. She’s got money to afford it.
Tish: Hell Ann, if I were a mechanic, I would do exactly like she does. She knows how to fix them.
Ann: Yeah, but I’d at least start off with something that had a chance of running. I think she buys the worst wrecks at the dump. I think it’s more of a challenge or something.
Tish: Well, the way this economy is going, we’re all gonna be down at the dump yard pretty soon. You know the got damn medical department cut the lab fees in half last week. All our labs are calling and crying the blues about their bills now.
Ann: Well, of course we know. We have to make cuts somewhere; the states are being cut back by the federal government.
Tish: Lord, how could I forget that you are one of the chosen. Give me the cards, Cille and let’s play. (Sits a the table, opens up the cards, and begins shuffling). You know Ann, the strangest thing about this new love affair of yours is that you stayed around in the bar after that cosmic freak…
Ann: How did you find out about that? Cille, damn you and your diarrhea of the mouth…
Lucille: Come on now, Ann, you know that has got to be the funniest story of the year.
Ann: Hell, you think that’s weird, I didn’t tell you about the one after that. This woman scared me to death.
Tish: Scared you, now that’s hard to believe.
Ann: No, really. See, I called myself dressing to fit the bar, so I broke out in my Calvins and a cowboy shirt with a bandana around my neck, well that was a real mistake. This big ass dyke slides up next to me and says she’s into fist too. So I looks at the child like she is strange which she was and says what?
Tish: You’re not gonna say what I think you are going to say.
Lucille: What, what!
Ann: I kid you not. The fool was into that sadistic shit, and it seems that red handkerchiefs have something to do with fist fucking. I almost choked on my drink when I realized what the hell she was putting down. And girlfriend, that child was stone serious.
Lucille: Now you want to talk about some loosely wrapped people.
Tish: Shit, it´s a lot fucking more than being loosely wrapped. Those conniving bitches make me want to murder. I mean to think that I and a lot more people like me worked our asses off for this got damn movement and assholes like that try and apply our work to some self-centered jive just makes me want to puke. Do you realize that there are some women out there who will seriously entertain the thought that they might be oppressing those women because they think the shit is sick. I just wish one of those bitches would approach me. Oh how I wish. The slimy dog better pray she a masochist, cause after I fire up her ass all she gonna have to enjoy for a long time is her pain. Jesus!
Lucille: Calm down, Tish. It´s a wonder you don’t have a damn ulcer or heart attack, the way you get riled.
Tish: Naw, Cille this shit is serious. These people are running around writing articles, publishing books, recruiting in bars and trying to pass themselves off as some kind of minority that’s being oppressed.
Ann: Well, I tell you if the woman I met the other night is an example then they are oppressed… by a case of the uglies. (They all laugh.)
Lucille: Tish, are you going to hold those cards all night or are you planning to share with your friends?
Ann: While you deal, I’ll get the drinks. Orders anyone?
Tish: Yeah, bring me a beer, please.
Lucille: Me too. No wait, do I want beer or…
Ann: I’m not a paid waitress; order now or get it yourself.
Lucille: Okay, a beer. Some people have no patience at all. (Ann goes off to the kitchen. Tish offers the cards to Lucille to cut and then deals out three hands, five cards at a time and a kitty of five cards. Ann returns and they put together their hands.)
Ann: Tish what kind of shit is this. You are one no dealing sucker.
Lucille: Amen to that.
Tish: Are yall really planning to start selling shit this early in the game? Damn!
Ann: Well, madam, I ain’t hardly jiving and to prove my point, I’m going to politely (Sits up very straight, purses her lips) pass.
Lucille: Well, now let’s see. If Ann is passing and looking at this mess, you must have dealt yourself all the cards, I wish I could run you up, but I’m not drunk enough to lie that much. Pass.
Tish: Oh naw. You jive time chums. Why the hell didn’t you ask for a new deal? I would have given it up.
Ann: But it’s so much more fun to set you.
Tish: You fuckers. Okay, I’ll call spades as trump. (Turns over the kitty.) God dammit. I’m set. I needed a queen for a marriage. Okay, I called diamonds for the sake of your meld. (throws her hand on the table)
Ann: I’ve got 32 points thank you.
Cille: Shit, I still can’t make the board.
Ann: (Writes in the score.) Minus fifty for Ms. Tish.
Tish: Bitch. That’s alright this game is still very early and as some old white turkey said, I Shall Return.
Lucille: Yea well, don’t forget what happened to that old white turkey. He got his ass fired for trying to kill off all those bloods.
Ann: Say what?
Lucille: Didn’t your folks ever tell you why Truman fired MacArthur. Cause he was getting all the Black guys killed.
Tish: Girl, where did you get that shit?
Lucille: My parents. I remember them talking about it. They said Truman fired MacArthur cause he was sending the Black soldiers to the front. They thought Truman was God’s second gift to the Black race.
Ann: Who was the first?
&
nbsp; Lucille: Roosevelt of course.
Tish: I never heard that shit about MacArthur before. I don’t think that’s real.
Lucille: Why cause you didn’t read about it in one of your history books?
Tish: Hey I’m no believer of history books, but usually you hear about this kind of stuff from another source.
