“I don’t think you need to worry, Lana. Duncan will be ecstatic. He’ll want to mate with you.”
Lana mopped her tears with the white hanky. “That’s the problem. Jamie loved me. I know he did, but he hated me working. He wanted me to stay at home and I couldn’t do that. Toward the end, our arguments were so bitter. If he hadn’t died, I think we might have parted by now. He didn’t know I took the Pill to prevent pregnancy.”
“Oh,” Emily said. “You can’t not tell Duncan. Felines love children…” she trailed off, and they stared at each other in pained silence.
“Jamie thought I couldn’t get pregnant because I always rushed around at work and didn’t relax enough.”
Emily snorted. “I take it sex wasn’t a problem.”
“No. It’s a problem this time,” she said glumly. “I should have remained celibate and then this wouldn’t be happening. It’s just that I hadn’t had sex for so long and I craved a man’s touch.”
“I understand that. You know I was married to a human before Saber?” At Lana’s nod, she continued. “He cheated on me. I hadn’t had sex for months and came to attend the Middlemarch ball because I wanted to have fun and get laid.”
“What happened?” Lana asked.
“I met Saber, and we had sex. I missed the train back to Dunedin and stayed with Saber. The man convinced me we were meant for each other and I’m still here.”
“Are you trying to have children?”
“Not yet,” Emily said, unperturbed by the personal question. “Saber said he wanted me to himself for a while and that it wouldn’t hurt to practice, but we’ve discussed it again recently.” She shook her head and grinned. “We’ll see. The man sure does like to practice. You know Duncan and Saber are alike. I’m sure if you talked to Duncan you could work something out.”
Lana sighed. “I know I need to talk to him.” She hesitated and swallowed. “I’m frightened. I can’t see any alternatives.”
“Do you love Duncan?”
“I’ve tried not to think about it. All I wanted was a weekend of good sex. I didn’t even mean to see him again.”
“But you have,” Emily said, a twinkle in her eyes. “Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“That feline men are persuasive.”
The front door of the restaurant opened and firm footsteps sounded. Saber strode into the kitchen, coming to an abrupt halt.
He frowned at Lana’s tearstained face. “Everything okay?”
“We’re fine,” Emily said. “You’ll stay the night, Lana? Sly and Joe are at home and you’ve met them before. They’ll enjoy the feminine company.”
“But—”
“You can see Duncan tomorrow,” Emily said.
Early the next morning Emily waved Lana off with parting advice.
“Tell the truth, everything, including your fears.” According to Emily, they couldn’t fix potential problems between them if they weren’t honest with each other from the outset.
“Okay.” The reply came automatically to reassure herself as much as Emily. Fear stalked her mind already at the thought of confronting Duncan. He was feline male and Jamie’s cousin. Like the rest of the feline males, he possessed instincts to protect and nurture. He’d want to offer security, which for a feline meant mating.
Trapped.
Lana suppressed a shudder and started her car, backing from the driveway. With a last farewell wave at Emily, she drove toward the township and her visit to Duncan. No matter how Emily spun this pregnancy as positive, Lana couldn’t help seeing disaster ahead.
The morning sickness hit around the usual time. Lana pulled over on the side of the road and vomited on the dry grass verge. Breathing deep, she waited out the worst of the sickness before rummaging in her bag for the dry crackers Emily had given her after she’d refused breakfast. Fifteen minutes later, stomach settled, she continued her journey. The miles ticked over and her nerves increased until her stomach lurched with sickness again.
Trapped.
Tears stung her eyes and one escaped, rolling down her cheek. Her hands clutched the steering wheel with a white-knuckle grip. Lana swallowed and indicated left, pulling onto the road where Duncan lived. Unable to ring because in her fragile state she thought she’d start blubbering, she’d arrived early and hoped she’d catch him before he started his chores for the day. A breath eased out in relief when she saw his SUV parked outside his house. A second SUV, one she didn’t recognize, had parked beside it. She pulled up and switched off the ignition, inhaling twice, hoping to settle her nerves. With trembling legs, she climbed out of the car.
“Lana!” Duncan’s smile was broad and welcoming. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” He strode toward her, arms outstretched, and grabbed her in a hug before pulling back to kiss her.
Some of the panic inside eased at his touch and obvious pleasure in seeing her. Since learning of her pregnancy, she worried how he’d react. Now the fear started to grow about how to tell him. She didn’t want to blurt it out.
“Have I come at a bad time? You have visitors,” she said.
“Lana, you’re welcome to visit any time you want. Come inside so I can say hello properly.” His eyes gleamed and amusement washed through her at his obvious thoughts.
“You have visitors.”
“Leaving,” he said, his tone curt. “I tried to ring you yesterday and last night. Ended up leaving messages.”
“I’ve been busy.” Lana walked at his side, the weight of his arm around her shoulders soothing her agitation.
“How long can you stay? I have a load of cattle arriving in an hour.”
A small squeak and a blur of movement attracted Lana’s attention. A half-naked Jennifer stood in the kitchen, her arms crossed over her bare breasts. “Oh, I didn’t know you were bringing your visitor inside,” she said.
A streak of pain stabbed Lana straight through the heart, and in that moment she knew this thing with Duncan was more than friendship. She cared enough that he could hurt her, had hurt her. She glanced past the counter and her gaze settled on a flimsy royal blue robe draped over a chair. It didn’t belong to her. “I’m in the way. I’ll go.”
“No, Lana.” Duncan grasped her arm and halted her retreat. “This isn’t what it looks like. Jennifer, what the hell are you doing? Get dressed.”
The woman pouted and dropped her arms to her sides to grab the robe. “Duncan, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to bring anyone into the kitchen.” After belting the robe at her waist she turned to Lana. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
Lana’s mouth dropped open in shock before swirling chagrin and anger formed a solid ball in the pit of her stomach. She wrenched from Duncan’s grip and backed toward the door.
“Jennifer,” Duncan snapped.
“She should go,” Jennifer said. “She’s spoiling my announcement. I wanted to be alone, but I might as well just tell you. I’m pregnant! You’re going to be a daddy.”
Lana turned and fled. Shock held her together while she started her car and whipped down Duncan’s driveway. In her rear-vision mirror she saw Duncan run out of the house. Seconds later Jennifer joined him, cuddling up to him like a sex kitten. The honk of a horn dragged her back to the present, and she slowed, pulling over to allow a stock truck to pass on the narrow road. With one last anguished glance at the couple standing in front of the house, she concentrated on her driving so she made it back to Queenstown without having an accident. A baby counted on her. For five minutes she held it together before the tears flowed. Her vision blurred, her chest ached. Lana pulled off the road and gave in to the tears, screwing up her face and chest heaving with the strength of her sobs.
The scene flashed before her eyes. Duncan and Jennifer. She’d seen them together several times and never guessed. Her entire body stiffened, agony flooding mind and limbs. The idea of Jennifer laughing behind her back…it shouldn’t have mattered. It did. Had he been seeing Jennifer all this time while he’d been sleeping with her
? She clamped her eyes shut, curling her body over the steering wheel, a whimper squeezing past the lump in her throat.
The ironic thing—one that crystallized in her mind—she’d fallen for Duncan harder than she’d either wanted or suspected and it was too late. She couldn’t have him.
* * * * *
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Duncan snarled at Jennifer. He pushed her away from him and she returned like a magnet, her hands reaching in an attempt to cling. “I haven’t slept with you since the bull ride carnival in South Auckland. Six months ago.” He removed her hands again and stepped out of range, restricting himself to glaring when he wanted to wring her neck so badly his hands shook. “I’ve told you. I’m seeing someone else and I’m not interested in you.”
“You will sleep with me,” Jennifer said, flashing him a brilliant smile while thrusting out her chest enough to make her robe gape. Her air of self-confidence grated and made him want to lash out.
“No, I’m not.” The need to wring her neck increased, and he spat out a pithy curse. The creamy curves did nothing for him, not when he ached for Lana. God, her expression… He brushed past Jennifer, heading inside to grab his keys. Lana would listen to him. She had to.
Almost inside, the approach of a vehicle grabbed his attention. Damn, the cattle truck. He wouldn’t be going anywhere for a few hours.
“I’m going to unload the cattle. Make sure you’re gone by the time I get back.”
“I love you,” Jennifer said.
“Bullshit,” Duncan spat. “One last time. I don’t want you. I’m not interested.”
“What about your reputation? How do you think people will react when they learn I’m pregnant and you’re refusing to take responsibility?”
“I don’t give a fuck,” Duncan said, and he spoke the truth.
“I’ll tell everyone.”
“Do your worst.” Duncan didn’t think things could get worse. Lana thought he’d lied to her, that he’d slept with Jennifer and made her pregnant. He turned and walked away without looking back.
* * * * *
Duncan walked into the restaurant shortly before closing time. Good. With only one table still occupied, Lana couldn’t pretend she didn’t have time to talk to him. He knew the second she spotted him. Her body tensed and the stack of dirty dishes she held went flying. They crashed to the tiled floor, attracting the attention of the remaining customers and her staff.
“Are you okay?” Duncan hated the signs of distress on her face, hated knowing he’d caused so much anguish.
“Go away,” she said in a strained voice. “I don’t want to talk to you.” She pushed through a set of double doors and returned straightaway with a broom and dustpan.
“Let me help.” Duncan stooped to pick up several of the larger pieces of china.
“There is nothing between us. Please just go away and leave me alone.” Her words were thick with tears.
“Do you need a hand, Lana?” a young male waiter asked.
“Yeah, I’m clumsy.” Lana swept up the shards of china and scraps of food.
“Please, all I want is a chance to talk. Ten minutes, and after that if you still want me to leave, I will.”
Lana refused to meet his gaze and gave a jerky nod instead. “Wait for me upstairs.”
A good decision because he didn’t intend to leave until they’d talked. He studied her bent head for a little longer before standing. Duncan left because he thought she’d prefer to have their discussion away from customers and staff.
Up in her apartment, he prowled from room to room, pausing to pick up a magazine only to toss it aside. His ears strained to hear what was happening in the restaurant. The murmur of voices. The slam of a door. He circled the room again, wondering how he could make Lana believe him. He should come clean and tell her how much he loved her. Something twisted in his chest, a sense of bitterness and raw, primitive grief. He’d missed out on his chance with Lana before because he’d stood aside for Jamie.
He couldn’t—wouldn’t—do it again.
God, if only she believed him. He wanted, craved her so much. When they weren’t together, he thought about her. They were meant for each other. He didn’t want Jennifer and hadn’t looked at another woman since hooking up with Lana at the rodeo in Middlemarch.
Halfway through another restless circuit of the room, he heard the creak of the stairs. Lana appeared seconds later, her expression guarded and her body drooping with exhaustion. An ache stirred in the region of his heart and he wanted to go to her, but she raised her hands as if to ward him off.
“No, don’t touch me,” she said, reinforcing her body language. “Tell me what you have to and leave. I’m tired and I want to go to bed.”
“Would you like me to make you a cup of tea?” Duncan made the offer, expecting her to reject his suggestion.
“Thank you. A cup of chamomile tea might help me sleep.”
Nodding, Duncan walked over to the kitchen and plugged in the jug. Surprised she’d accepted his offer, he went through the motions of making the tea while observing Lana. Exhaustion weighed down her slender body, her shoulders slumped into the brown couch. He noted the purple shadows beneath her closed eyes and the pale face. Her clear vulnerability tore at his heart. The urge to close the distance between them and gather her into his arms almost got the better of him. He had to force himself to remain where he stood, hating the inactivity because he always fixed things. Something told him this wouldn’t be quite as easy.
When the water boiled, he poured it over the tea bag, dunking it several times in the mug before discarding it. Under normal circumstances she’d chide him for not letting the tea steep long enough. Tonight he wondered if she’d even notice.
“Here you go.” He handed the mug over, frowning at the tremor of her hands and the way she refused to meet his gaze. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes.” Her voice cracked, and the tremor spread to her lips. Duncan’s scowl intensified when she tried to hide it by taking a sip of her tea. What the hell was going on with her? He’d never seen her like this before.
He waited for her to say more, expected it, except she seemed content to sip her tea. A deep inhalation did nothing to settle the disquiet flickering through him.
Bugger, Jennifer. He’d never encouraged her, although he’d slept with her twice. Obviously where he’d made his mistake—allowing his cock to rule good sense. Luckily he’d wised up.
“It’s true I’ve slept with Jennifer before, not since we met again in Middlemarch though. I have done nothing except talk to her for the last six months.” His mouth tightened at her clear disbelief. “I’m not a bloody monk. I like sex, so shoot me.”
“Jennifer says she’s pregnant. What are you going to do?”
“Didn’t you hear me? If she’s pregnant, it’s not mine. I’m willing to take tests to prove it.”
Lana glanced at him then, her face shrouded with pain, her beautiful eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I thought you’d be like every feline male—ecstatic at becoming a father.”
Duncan’s mouth dropped open in shock. The accusation, the pain and acres of hurt in her voice made him silently curse his cousin Jamie. Damn the man for messing with Lana’s head. It was obvious to him that Jamie had stuffed up big time, causing a few mental scars in his wife.
“Of course I want kids,” he said, striving to give her honesty and wanting to ease her mind. “That doesn’t mean I fuck indiscriminatingly, intending to populate the world with my feline offspring. I always use condoms.” Usually. Except with Lana. “As for Jennifer, I’m not about to bring her into the feline world when it’s obvious she’s lying. Lies are no foundation for a relationship.”
“You didn’t use condoms with me.”
“No.” Shit, he could hardly tell her he’d wanted to get her pregnant, subconsciously at least.
A tear overflowed, swiftly followed by another. She squeezed her eyes shut. The tears didn’t stop. Her chest rose in a so
b, the sound escaping despite her effort to retain it.
To hell with this. Duncan moved swiftly, taking the tea from her hands and setting it aside. He sat beside her and hauled her against his chest. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He smoothed his hand over her back, relieved to have her close enough to touch and take into his arms.
For a long time she sobbed, and he held her, murmuring nonsense and stroking her back. Finally the tears stopped coming, and she quieted.
“Jamie wanted children. He wanted children before we married. I wanted to wait because of my restaurant. I loved him although toward the end things were bad. He wanted me to sell the restaurant and stay home. We argued the day of the accident.”
“I knew it had to be something like that.” Which was the reason he’d taken a cautious approach even though everything in him had chafed at the delay.
“Are you going to marry Jennifer?”
“For the last time, no. If she’s pregnant, it’s not my child. I don’t love her and this stunt of hers has dropped her in my estimation. I’ll be steering clear of the woman.” Duncan meant every single word.
“Oh.” Lana started crying again, and he reached the end of his patience.
“What the fuck is wrong? Spit it out and I’ll fix it,” he snapped, putting her away from him and standing.
“You can’t fix it.”
“Tell me.”
“I’m pregnant,” Lana said, glaring at him with belligerent eyes.
Shock rippled through Duncan and he dropped to the couch again, his knees suddenly too weak to hold his weight. “How?”
Lana gave him a mocking smile and didn’t pull it off. “The usual way. I had the flu and forgot to take my pills.”
“Who—”
Lana leapt to her feet. “The only man I’ve had sex with is you. I’m not like you. I don’t sleep around. That makes you the father,” she ended on a screech.
Shock turned to acceptance and acceptance to excitement. A baby with Lana. Hell, he couldn’t have planned better. “Good. Marry me,” he said.
My Determined Suitor Page 13
