I don't say a word in response.
I don't tell her I got us this apartment in the first place by bartering with Theo.
I don't tell her she and Scott are the ones who should leave.
I merely nod and walk to my bedroom on shaky legs, haphazardly throwing my things in a beaten-up suitcase. I'm leaving. There's no way I can stay here.
Sending a message to TyrantDaddy, I beg him for some money, just so I can find a place to sleep. I'm broke as fuck.
But no message comes back. He must be busy.
Desperate, I scroll through my other messages which I have been studiously ignoring since TyrantDaddy has been my only client. Now, I find myself desperate, and I fire off a few replies hoping to get somebody's attention and a couple hundred bucks to my name.
I get out of the apartment without throwing one last look at my former best friend. I stand in the street with nowhere to go and no money to my name when a message finally comes through.
It's not from TyrantDaddy – it's from one of the others I finally replied to. The app tells me he's in New York, and in his text, he's asking me to meet up. I reply with shaky fingers, telling him to get me a hotel room near where I am and meet me there.
I take another moment before I move from the sidewalk.
Memories of my life before New York rush through my mind.
Dove, Nox, the boys. Mercy, before Scott did this to her – to us!
And Raphael.
Raphael, whom I've forced myself never to think about. Raphael, who would surely know a way out of this situation, who would make me feel better, who would kill the men who hurt me tonight.
But Raphael doesn't want me. He made that clear a year ago.
Picking up my suitcase, I start my trek to the hotel where I agreed to meet the guy from the sugar baby app.
Mentally, I've completely checked out already. I know I'm going to have to sleep with this guy, when I haven't slept with anybody in a year.
Well, I suppose that's not true now.
I remember the flash of the camera, that stranger's dirty words, the way he violated me. He turned me into a whore. A piece of meat used for pleasure and to get off.
I don't have a choice now. I picked the wrong path at a crossroads, and there's no going back.
Maybe I deserve this, for doubting Nox, for leaving my loving family. They'd never take me back now if they knew everything I've done. Everything that's been done to me. I'm dirty now. A slut.
And a good girl.
My bottom lip trembles as I continue my trek to the hotel, but I walk with resolution. There's only one goal ahead of me now, and that's survival.
No matter what I have to do to make it happen, I'm going to survive.
Chapter 24
Raphael
I needed you and you weren't there.
I stare at the message on my phone after coming home from a walk with Austin. What the fuck is this about?
I try texting back while Elise puts Austin down for a nap, but the message won't send. I start to realize maybe Willa's blocked my number.
Fear and trepidation make my fingers shake. I can't let this happen. I can't let her sever our ties once and for all, even though she doesn't know we've been talking for the past year.
I walk into the nursery, seeing Elise with our son and feeling only numbness as I watch them together.
"I need to go to New York."
"What?" Elise hisses, turning to face me. "Now?"
"Now," I nod. "It's urgent."
"What about tomorrow's play date? And the dinner we're supposed to go to?"
"I don't give a shit, Elise," I mutter. "I won't be here."
I walk into the closet and start packing my stuff while she watches from the door frame, arms crossed and lips thinned into a line.
"You can't just leave me. What am I supposed to do with Austin? Can't you take him with you?"
"Call the nanny. Just deal with it." I close my suitcase.
"Wow, Raphael. Just wow."
I ignore her, carrying the suitcase through to the hallway. I have never once backed away on a promise when it comes to Austin. And I've done more than my fair share of baby duty. She'll be fine for a few days on her own, it's about time she finally changed a diaper on her own.
But Elise isn't done yet, and the next complaint leaves her lips in a low hiss.
"You're just going to abandon us? When are you coming back? Your son needs you."
"I don't know, a few days," I mutter. "But things are changing when I get back."
"What the fuck do you mean, Raphael?"
"I fucking mean, I'm going to move out," I hiss. "I'll support you and Austin financially, but I'm not going to pretend like we're a happy couple."
"You're a monster," she tells me. "You want to ruin that boy's childhood?"
"No, I want to improve it," I tell her coolly. "And the only way to do that is to leave you, Elise. I'm sick and tired of this. I need to go."
I'm on the way out the door when she grabs me by the forearm and attempts to kiss me, but I pull back, frowning at her as I ask, "What the fuck?"
"Just admit you want me already. You've wanted me all along," she says, a hint of desperation in her voice. "And now we have a baby together, Raphael. What's the point in resisting this any longer? I've given you everything you've ever wanted, haven't I?"
She is so ridiculously mistaken I want to laugh, but I force myself to stay quiet.
"I need to go."
"You can't go." She clings to the sleeve of my jacket. "Please don't leave us, Raphael."
"Do you know where the nappies are and the bottles? You do know how to prepare Austin's bottle, right?"
"That doesn't matter right now," Elise cuts me off impatiently. "We matter right now, Raphael. You and me."
"There is no you and me."
"But there should be," she insists, that note of desperation in her voice growing more and more prominent. "We belong together. I had a baby for you."
"A baby I didn't want."
"How can you say that?"
"You tricked me, Elise."
"Because it was what we needed."
"What we need is for this to be over," I grunt. "I'll set up an appointment with a lawyer to discuss alimony and child support."
"You can't do this to me!"
"What the fuck did you expect, Elise?" I growl. "You forced me into this situation and I can't take it for another second. I'll do what's right by my son, but I don't owe you a damn thing."
I touch the doorhandle when she screams, "You need to do what I want!"
"Or else what? Are you threatening me?" I approach her, eyes burning with hate. "No matter what you do, Elise, you'll never make me want you, or love you. You need to accept that now."
"Fuck you," she spits out. "You only stayed for Austin."
"Of course I did," I reply firmly. "He's my blood, my son."
"No, he isn't."
"What?"
She smiles triumphantly. "He isn't your son. I went to the clinic and went through with the procedure just to fool you. I was already pregnant before you broke up with me."
The impact of everything she's just told me hits me like a ton of fucking bricks.
I've lost everything before.
Once with Dove, once with Willa. And now my life is breaking into pieces in front of my eyes again.
"You lied to me?"
She grins. "You believed everything. And I know you won't walk away now. You love Austin."
I shudder from the impact of her admission. I feel numb, fucking numb.
"By the time I return from New York, I want you out of this place."
Her mouth falls open as she says, "You can't be fucking serious. Where the hell am I supposed to go, Raphael?"
"I don't fucking know," I smile coldly. "How about paying Austin's real father a visit?"
With those words, I walk out and slam the door behind me.
The plane ride to New York is fucking excruciat
ing. My thoughts are racing with today's events, everything from Willa's cryptic message to Elise's horrible confession.
I took care of her and the baby for a year, convinced he was my child. I turned my entire life around to accommodate a new life, a baby I didn't want, but was determined to raise right.
My heart fucking hurts at the thought of Austin alone with Elise. Another loss, another hit I've taken, and there's absolutely nothing I can fucking do about it now.
I've been a fool. A fucking fool who got caught in Elise's trap, blindly trusting everything she told me.
My hands form fists as I take the lift up into the building.
I tracked down Willa's address by alerting the app to a possible danger. It's actually fucking frightening how fast they gave away her IP location when I offered them some money. And now I'm here.
I stand in front of a door with a crooked apartment number on it, knocking on it firmly as my heart races at the thought of seeing Willa once again.
Everything else is forgotten. My heart beats only for her.
But when the doors open, there's no Willa on the other side, and it takes me several moments to recognize the waif-like creature with hazy eyes.
"Mercy?"
"Yeah?" She cocks her head to the side. Her eyes are weird, almost black, and I realize she must be high as fuck on something.
"Do you remember me?" I ask urgently. "I'm Raphael Santino."
"Oh, fuck," she mutters, running her skinny hands through a messy mop of dark hair. "Did she tell you?"
"Tell me what?" I shake my head impatiently. "It doesn't matter. Is Willa here?"
"N-No," she admits. "She... she left."
"Where?"
"I don't know."
"When is she coming back?"
"I don't know."
"What the fuck do you mean?" I hiss, making her take a terrified step back. "I'm sorry, Mercy, I just really fucking need to find her. I think she might be in danger."
"We had a f-fight," Mercy manages, her eyes seemingly far away.
I need to snap her out of this but I don't even know if that's fucking possible. When I take a better look at the dark-haired girl, I noticed the little bruises littering her arms, the veins visible, angry and blue.
Jesus fuck. What have these girls gotten themselves into?
"Please, Mercy." I take her hands in mine, turning my pleading eyes to hers. "I know something's wrong. I flew in from LA, I came straight from the airport. Where would Willa go?"
"There's a hotel," Mercy mutters. "Two blocks away. It's the nearest one. It's fancy though, she probably couldn't go there... We're broke."
I nod, ignoring what she's saying but filing it away to worry about later. They can't be fucking broke – I've been giving Willa money. Where has it all gone?
Mercy's dazed gaze speaks for itself and my heart tightens as I wonder whether Willa is as messed up as her friend.
I get her to tell me the location of the hotel and slide a business card into her hands before leaving.
"If you need anything Mercy, call me," I tell her firmly. I don't want to say it outright, but I can already tell this is a fucked-up situation. "I can help you."
"I'm fine," she mutters defensively, moving to close the door before changing her mind at the last second. "Will you tell Willa I love her?"
When she asks that question, she sounds like the little girl I met three years ago at a club with Willa. An intense feeling of sadness renders me unable to speak, and I merely nod before sprinting to the elevator.
With Mercy's instructions, I find the hotel fast enough. The desk won't give me Willa's information until I give the receptionist some money. Finally, she gives me a room number and a key.
My heart pounds with expectation as I head to the floor where her room is. Am I really going to see Willa again in mere minutes? And just how bad is this going to be? Seeing Mercy has alerted me to the fact that something's clearly not right here. I can only pray Willa is doing better than her friend.
I knock on the door but there's no answer. I hear voices inside, and they're making my stomach turn.
I use the key card to get inside the hotel room and storm inside, discarding my suitcase at the door.
I see the man first, blocking my vision. He's sitting on the bed, but he turns his head at the sound of me entering.
"Hey man, what the fuck?" he says in way of a greeting.
"Where is she?" I storm past him, looking for Willa.
"What the hell, you can't just walk in here like you own the goddamn place," the man barks. "Get the fuck out or I'm calling security! Willa, get the phone."
My gaze goes to the bed and I see her for the first time in a year. She is so small and frail, I almost missed her tucked under the duvet. But there she is. Looking tiny and fragile, she makes my heart hurt.
Willa's eyes find mine and they’re the same bright blue I remember. A choked sob escapes her lips as we stare at one another, and I remind myself not to get too emotional.
I notice a cup-a-soup on the nightstand table along with the spoon. What the fuck was happening in here before I arrived?
I look back at the man just as Willa's lips part and she brokenly mutters my name.
"You know this guy?" the prick next to her asks. "Who is this fucking clown, Willa?"
"Who the fuck are you?" I hiss in response, wanting answers before I fucking kill the guy.
He flexes, smirking at me. "I'm Willa's stepfather. We're just having a little reunion. Aren't we, my good little girl?"
All the stories Willa told me about this man come flooding back. He isn't a good guy. He's a fucking monster. And somehow, he got his claws back inside my sweet girl.
Willa stares wide-eyed as he touches his filthy fingers to her cheek.
"Step away from her," I demand.
"Are you fucking deaf, man? I'm her stepdad. Who the hell are you?"
"Me?" I smirk, cracking my knuckles in anticipation of breaking every bone in his body. "I'm her daddy, you pathetic piece of shit."
Chapter 25
Willa
The crunch of bone under Raphael's fists brings me back to reality. Everything that's happened comes dripping back. Coming to the hotel, realizing my stepfather had tracked me down yet again. He kept me here for a full day. I was so shocked and shaken up by his reappearance I went along with it. Besides, I had nowhere else to go.
But as Raphael knocks my stepfather out, I retreat somewhere in the recess of my mind. It's safe here, in the darkness where nobody can hurt me anymore.
I feel like I'm on autopilot as Raphael throws my stepfather out of the room and pulls me into his arms. As happy as I am to see him, I can't react, can't give him what he needs. I merely shiver in his arms and pray that one day I'll come back to reality.
"I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner," he whispers against my hair. "I have so much to tell you. Are you okay?"
Wordlessly, I shake my head. The past two days have wrecked me, and it feels like my voice and my mind are both gone. I can't speak. Can't tell Raphael the truth. I remain mute but grateful for the embrace he holds me in.
"What can I do, Wills?" he asks, his caring voice sending butterflies fluttering in my stomach despite the horrible situation. "Do you want to go back home?"
I think of the home I had in LA. Nox, Dove, and the boys, with Raphael on my speed dial. Yes, I want that. I need that. It's the only way I'm going to heal from everything that's happened here.
"I'll take you home," he promises. "I'll make sure everything's okay. I'm here now, Willa. I'm not going to leave your side ever again."
Tears of gratitude flow down my cheeks as I listen to him, and I lean my head against the crook of his arm, letting him take care of me, just like he always does.
I need this, need him. I just hope he'll still want me after he finds out everything that's happened while we've been apart.
We're in the car in front of Dove and Nox's house. My parents are standing on the lawn, Dove nervou
sly twisting her arms while Nox attempts to talk her down.
"You ready, trouble?" Raphael asks in his soft tone reserved specially for me, and I find myself nodding. I'm still not talking, still sometimes losing myself in the darkest corners of my mind.
Softly, Raphael opens the door. Dove clutches her chest while he helps me out of the car. My feet hit the sidewalk and I get out on shaky feet. Before I've taken a single step, Dove's body slams against mine and she lets out a sob as she envelops me in a hug. Nox is close behind, hugging us both as I shiver in their embrace. Silent tears slip down my cheeks, and when Dove pulls back to look at me, I just hope my eyes convey the apology I can't force myself to say.
"Welcome home, Willa," Dove whispers and I manage a shaky smile.
"Thank you for bringing her back," Nox mutters to Raphael. I can tell how difficult this is for him, thanking a man he wants to hate. But he's trying, and that means everything to me. "We've got it from here."
"You don't need to be so cold, Nox," Dove mutters, glancing at Raphael. "We're incredibly grateful to you, Raphael."
"Thank you," he says with a firm smile. "I did what I could. I would like to check on Willa weekly though, if you agree."
I can tell this pisses Nox off, but I nudge him with my elbow and nod, not giving him much choice.
"Fine," he mutters. "Once a week."
"I'll be back soon," Raphael says to them, nodding before turning to face me. "You sure you're going to be okay, Willa?"
I nod silently. I haven't told Raphael what happened in Theo's apartment yet. I'm too ashamed. But I hope as the weeks pass and I slowly regain my life, I'll be able to trust him with the truth.
But Raphael, on the other hand, has told me everything.
He told me about Elise and Austin, and her shocking confession that kept us apart for a year. I cried for him, for the months we could have been together and for the life we both threw away. But now, things are going to be better. I'll never make the same mistake again.
Raphael also told me he was behind the TyrantDaddy username, which completely melted my heart. He found a way to help me and stay a part of my life, and if he hadn't, God knows what would have happened in that hotel room. I'm eternally grateful to him for that.
Tyrant Daddy: An Age Gap Forbidden Romance Page 16
