Kirby rested her palm in his, and he wrapped her in his arms. Her bare skin against his was always tempting, but now it also amplified his desire to protect her. If he could hold her like this forever, maybe she wouldn’t die again.
Gwydion stood close, hand on her back. The concern on his face matched Min’s.
“Are you able to talk about it?” Min would let her do whatever she wanted, as long as it made her happy and kept her safe.
She shook her head. “I don’t know what it was. But...” She shuddered. “I don’t want to find out. And I definitely don’t want to sleep again.”
“I have a solution to help distract you.” He wanted to help calm her. He crouched enough to sweep his arm under her legs, and lift her up.
Her chuckle was strained. She hugged his neck, and leaned into him. “Are you going to carry me away from reality?”
“Something very much like that.” His desire was still there. A constant vibration that wanted more from her. To make up for all the nights they’d been apart. But his concern was stronger. Kirby needed to be looked after.
He carried her into the bathroom and set her on her feet by the shower. Gwydion joined them.
She hugged herself, and a tremor ran through her. Lingering traces of the dream, or an onset of modesty? The second one wasn’t like Kirby.
Min turned on the water, and gave it enough of a magical nudge that it was the perfect temperature for Kirby—a hair below scalding.
He took her hand and they stepped over the lip of tile. When all three of them were in the shower, he slid the glass door shut.
She turned her gaze to her feet. “I’m not up for sex.” Her voice was quiet.
“This is about comfort, not arousal,” Min said. “But you don’t have to stay. And if you don’t like it, you can leave any time.”
She looked up. Shadows of whatever haunted her marred her face. “You’ve told me that before.” She was starting to remember.
“I always tell you that. And I always mean it. What do you need?”
“I need...” She let out a shaky sigh. “I need to not be alone with my thoughts.”
“We’ll help with that.” Min grabbed the bar of soap from its dish, and a worked up a lather. He handed the bar to Gwydion, who stood behind Kirby, then glided his hands down her chest.
As he worked his fingers along her skin, he applied light pressure. Enough to gently massage. To keep her grounded. He washed her stomach and her legs. Caressed her arms and her shoulders. Gwydion performed a similar ritual.
Kirby’s skin was soft under his touch. The flutter of her eyelids as she began to relax was a stunning tie to the past. He grew half-hard when he slipped a hand between her legs, to clean her.
But he didn’t linger.
They stayed under the water until the knots faded from her muscles, and the fear vanished from her eyes.
When they stepped out, he and Gwydion gently patted her, and themselves, dry with towels, then wrapped up on white, fluffy hotel robes.
Min lifted her again, and carried her back to the bed. Feeling her cradled in his arms clenched like a vise around his heart. The familiarity of it all, and the lingering fear of what may come next, disquieted him.
But her calmness and soft body pushed that away.
Min sat with his back to the headboard, and Kirby lay with her head on his outstretched leg. He trailed his fingers through her hair. The blond strands were silken against his fingertips.
Gwydion sat next to Min, legs crossed. He stroked Kirby’s hip with his thumb.
“The dream wasn’t all bad.” She spoke more calmly now. “Until the end it was... Wow.”
Wow. Min appreciated the sound of that. “Would you like to offer more detail?”
She laughed, and sat up. “You were there.” She pointed to Min. “And you were there.” She looked at Gwydion. “Just call me Dorothy. Dreaming about guys in my life.”
“Pretty sure the Scarecrow never seduced Dorothy,” Gwydion said.
“I’d ask how you knew what I was dreaming about, but you lived it with me, didn’t you?” She studied her hands. “It was so real. All of it. They’re memories. Everything you said earlier was true. You’re really a god?”
Min nodded. “I’ve been many things to you, as you have to me. However, I’ve never lied.”
“Who are you?” she asked Gwydion.
“I’m a god of art.”
“And a trickster god.” Kirby furrowed her brow. “You... used to tell people you were King Arthur.”
Gwydion nodded. “And no one believed that I wielded supreme power just because some watery tart threw a sword at me.”
Kirby laughed. It was good to see her relaxing, despite what must be spilling through her mind. “It’s all in there. Some of it’s clear, and some of it’s not there, but the more threads I tug, the more the knots unravel.”
“Do you know who you are?” Min rested his palm on her cheek and pulled her gaze back to him.
She studied him, so many questions reflected in her blue eyes. “No. I remember you. Both of you. And someone else. I remember loving you all intensely. I feel that passion, bright and vibrant.”
“You lived all of that,” Gwydion said. “Several lives. Since meeting you, we’ve looked for you in each life. That love is real.”
“What if I don’t want to love you?” Her question cut Min to the core. But he heard it each time they found her. She wanted to choose and love for herself, not for some past life iteration.
Gwydion’s expression remained neutral. “Then you don’t have to. You’re not a separate person. It’s a new body, but every life is you. That doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind, or grow in a different direction.”
She pulled from Min’s touch, turning her gaze back to the blanket. “What if I don’t want you to hurt me?”
“I would never...” Min stalled on her question. “Why do you believe that’s a possibility?”
“There’s something else in my past, the thing that scared me in my dream, it’s tied to knowing the two of you. It always happens after I meet you.” Her voice had gone quiet, and she clenched her hand in tight fists.
KIRBY WAS CONFLICTED. Her memories said both of these men were good and wonderful. She felt their love for her, and her adoration for them in return. It was so potent it threatened to stop her heart. Lifetimes of love and affection.
But there was also pain. Terror. A shape she couldn’t define, but that cut through her soul like razors.
“Do you trust me? Us?” Gwydion asked. He didn’t look upset by her revelations. Min tried to hide his reaction, but she saw his hurt. “Nothing we say will matter unless you do.”
“Yes.” Kirby didn’t know why, but she did. Her mind insisted she was an idiot, and her heart sang a beautifully persuasive song that she was right to give them her faith.
“I can’t say for certain what’s there, but I can guess.”
I was a starting point. “Tell me.”
Min frowned and worked his jaw. “In order for you to have lived so many lives, you’ve had to die that many times. We always look for you. To help you remember. To save you.”
“We always find you before you die, but we’ve never been able to save you,” Gwydion said sadly.
“Oh.” It made sense, but it was still difficult to process. Hearing that she’d died... How many times had it been?
“Twice now we’ve seen you remember everything.” Min’s voice was thick with regret. “It's never easy on you to go through that. Considering the past is coming back to you again, the death is probably what’s threatening your dreams.”
Kirby thought she understood, but didn’t want to put it to words. Because it was one thing to accept she’d lived before and was remembering loving two gods, but it was a whole new universe to relive what killed her. “But you try? To save me?”
“Of course we do. Always.” The way Gwydion watched her, concern in his eyes, reinforced the words.
And she
saw the reality of what he said. The memories were there. Fifteen hundred years and they’d never given up on her.
“We fall in love with you again and again,” Min said. “You’re the same person, but each life teaches you more. Enhances how distinctly you you are.”
Kirby focused on him. “But some things about me, and you, are always the same.” She could almost grasp this sensation. It was that second fear that only came from knowing Min. It wasn’t the same kind of suffocating terror. This was a gnawing sensation that made her question who she was.
“It’s true.” Min let out a long sigh. “The person you are at your core never changes. And that means each time we meet, some things keep us apart at first. What else did you dream?”
She wouldn’t be distracted by his question, but she needed to better put her thoughts together. “Passion. Love. Desire. Decades of it. Over centuries.”
“What else?” The way Min watched her, he was waiting for her to pick at and delve into whatever scared her when it came to him.
Chapter Nine
Min expected this, but that never made it easier for him to hear Kirby was scared of any part of him. “You fear me because I demand things of you that you’re reluctant to give.”
And as much as it was in her nature to hesitate, it was impossible for him to not require it.
She frowned. “Demand? Totally sounds like something I’d be opposed to. What are we talking about? That I walk ten paces behind you at all times? That I surrender my life to live the one you choose for me?”
“Something far simpler, and much more complex.”
Her scowl deepened. She was getting impatient.
“Everything,” Gwydion said. “He demands everything.”
It was blunt. Not nearly as eloquent as Min would prefer. But it was honest.
Kirby scooted back on the bed and pulled her robe tighter around her. “What does everything mean? You’re okay with me loving others. So you must define the word differently than I do.”
Min ached to reach for her. To kiss the back of her knuckles. To brush her hair from her face and worship her—mind, body, and soul. He’d settle for explaining. “It’s true; I don’t have a problem with you loving Gwydion, or anyone else. But in the part of your heart that you set aside for me, I want it to be all for me. I don’t want there to be a disclaimer or an exception on it. If you love me, I want you to completely love me. To completely give that part of yourself to me. And I offer you the same in return.”
“That’s a lot to ask.”
“It is.” Hence the term everything.
She flexed her fingers and worked her jaw. “I remember loving you. I feel those same emotions. And I know you say I’m still that person, but I still feel a divide between those lives and this one. Right now, I can’t give you that.” Her voice cracked. “Does that mean I lose you?”
“No, my huntress.” He hated the ache in her voice, but he loved the strength that required her to choose her independence over all else. “I’m not demanding that you offer yourself up to me right this moment, or else. My requirement is that when we do reach that point, when you’re able to say sincerely that you love me, that we both give it our all.”
Some of the tension drained from her shoulders and she slumped. “Until then?”
“Until then, and after, and for as long as I have you, I show you what you mean to me.”
“That’s almost sweet and awe-inspiring.” Teasing sarcasm lined Gwydion’s voice.
Min shook his head. “I am always awe-inspiring, and have rarely been accused of being sweet.” He moved to Kirby, and grasped her fingers. “Let me worship you, my huntress.”
KIRBY DIDN’T EXPECT Min’s explanation to alleviate her fears, but his words rang true. They tied to the bits of her past she remembered. And the men were right. The images that danced in her mind, the vivid splashes of pleasure, didn’t feel like separate lives. They were more like one long life, with several intermissions.
She didn’t see anything of herself in the past that she disliked. And everything she saw of Min and Gwydion floated to her carried on love and devotion.
Min’s touch was light but deliberate as he removed her robe. As in the shower, he grazed his fingers along every inch of her body. But with her fear addressed and placed aside, arousal could rush in at the contact.
He stroked along the inside of her elbow. Kissed the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder. Nibbled down the inside of her thigh, to lick behind her knee. Everywhere he explored summoned a new spark of want. He drew gasps from her by teasing body parts she never knew were erogenous.
His attention was different that Gwydion’s. While they both focused on her pleasure, she felt more frantic with Gwydion. It was intense, but light-hearted. Playful. Uncontrollable.
Was it because she’d found Gwydion first in this life? No. It had always been this way between the two of them. Unhinged in the best way possible.
Min moved back up her body, drawing his lips along her chest and then her collarbone.
“You’re not always this gentle,” she said between gasps. She’d expected that to be what would scare her, but the knowledge unfurled in her belly and tugged a cord that ran through every nerve ending.
“No.” He cupped her breasts and grazed his thumbs over her nipples. “I like to leave my mark. But I enjoy everything we do together, as do you. Pleasure and pain are so intricately intertwined...” He shook his head. “We’ll get there. Today though, I want to taste you, as I would honey. Sweet and pure.”
He dipped his fingers between her legs, and brushed his mouth over hers. He swallowed her groans, stroking her clit, coaxing her toward climax until her head swam and her heart wobbled.
He circled her core until she came. The orgasm clenched through every inch of her, tingling in each spot he’d touched, drawing her into a tight line, until he eased away.
Gwydion grasped Min’s wrist and drew a finger into his mouth, sucking her juices from Min’s skin. She watched, captivated and hungry for more.
“If the two of you are gods, do you need condoms?”
They shook their heads.
“We do it for your sense of security,” Gwydion said. “But we don’t get sick. We don’t carry disease. Pregnancy doesn’t happen unless we will. Which would be never, without your permission.”
Kirby liked the sound of that. “Neat trick.”
Min lowered her back to lie on the bed. He spread her legs apart with his knee, and knelt between her thighs. When he penetrated her, she gasped silently at the way he stretched her out.
The way he glided in and out of her was as gentle and methodical as everything else he’d done today. It was a new level of teasing. A promise of what happened when he stopped holding back. A slow burn of anticipation that made her pulse race.
Gwydion knelt next to her, and lowered his head to her breast. He scraped his teeth lightly along one nipple, before nibbling harder.
She needed to feel more. To touch more skin. She wrapped her hand around his shaft and stroked in time to Min’s thrusts.
When Gwydion sought out her clit, the new touch jolted through her entire body. His touch wasn’t calculated. He circled her swollen nub with abandon, and she gripped his cock in response.
She pumped him harder, setting the pace for how he pleasured her. Their frantic exchange clashed and blended with the slow glide of Min inside her.
Gwydion came, squirting on her stomach. Coating her skin and hand. He didn’t ease up on the attention he paid to her clit. He pressed his body into hers, getting cum everywhere.
She swore everywhere the slick stickiness touched she felt more... everything.
He coaxed her to orgasm, and she clenched as climax gripped her. She wasn’t used to having something inside her as thick as Min, and her body hovered on the edge of discomfort and pleasure.
Her peak seemed to tear away his restraint. The slow, smooth strokes were gone, as he pounded against her. His passion was raw and all-en
compassing.
He spilled inside her, and she felt it. Like his energy mingled with hers, and spread through every inch of her. The intense fucking slowed to a stop. He slid out of her, leaving her feeling oddly empty.
Gwydion caressed her side with a lazy touch.
Min kissed her still sticky stomach. The lack of shame in the room was another kind of desire. He licked a path up her chest, to press his mouth to hers. Gwydion’s taste lingered on his lips.
She devoured his kiss.
If this was every life, no wonder she was terrified of losing it.
Chapter Ten
Knives shredded Kirby’s gut.
Flame licked at her skin.
Water filled her lungs.
And fear stole her reason.
A sword pierced her heart. An explosion tore her to shreds.
Odin’s curse echoed in her skull.
She was dreaming again. She had to be. It was the only thought she could grasp outside of agony. Death devoured her again and again. A dozen times or more. All compressed into the same bubble of time.
She screamed and forced her eyes open. Her skin was still hot. She couldn’t see past the agony.
Someone touched her arm, and she swung wildly. Needing an enemy to fight. A way to stop the torture.
“Kirby.” Gwydion’s voice drilled through the chaos in her thoughts. He grabbed her wrists, holding her tight, despite her thrashing. “It’s us. You’re all right.” His tone was cool. A salve on a million wounds. “You’re alive. You’re here with us. Focus on my voice. On my touch.”
She was trying, but it was so hard. Death threatened to consume her.
“You’re all right. You’re here with us.” Gwydion repeated the words until her terror faded.
She sobbed and jerked away from him.
He cupped her face and forced her gaze to his. His attention, his icy blue eyes focused on her, helped drive away more of the memories.
Min wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. He held her close enough his heart beat against her back.
She wanted it to be soothing. She couldn’t completely shake the dream.
Hearts in the Sand Page 5
