“Thanks.” Her eyes reflected the flames. They glowed bronze and red as she peered over her shoulder to where her daughter now lay curled up beneath the towel beside her pony.
Lullu looked up sleepily and smiled, “He’s my soul mate,” she said, as her eyes fluttered closed.
“She asleep?” Ray nodded toward the sleeping beauty and her steed. His eyes hugged her bundled form. She was a part of him, no matter what anyone said. So perfect, so precious …
“She’ll never be a part of your life, Ray.” Mina’s voice, though softer, cut him like a jagged sword.
“I deserve your anger. But will you be able to forgive yourself when the sun comes out tomorrow?” He pointed a heated stare right at her. “I made a choice back then, a hard one, but one that saved you and our daughter, and it cost me everything. I’m no longer sorry that you can’t grasp that fact.”
She bit her lip. God she was driving him insane, emotionally and hormonally.
“Why? So that you can feel better about yourself?” She leaned forward on her knees and hands as though to challenge him.
Ray shook his head. “No, so that you can move on, and my child can have a father.”
“You’re a convict and a drug addict.”
“One who’s working his goddamned arse off to make up for a past I can never change.” He focused on the flames dancing in the old stone hearth.
She sat back on her bum, her expression softening. “You’re right. I’m sorry. But … I don’t know where to start. It’s different with the inmates.”
“You don’t know them. They haven’t hurt you. I have.” Ray swallowed hard.
She was right; he was a coward, but he was also tired of running from it all.
Turning so that his body faced her and his back was to the fire, he crossed his legs and cupped his knees. “It was my fault. But I had to protect you.”
“So you’ve said, half a dozen times.”
Inhaling deeply, Ray closed his eyes and tried to centre his thoughts.
“Protect me from who, Raymond?”
“From Karl and his cronies, Benzile and Jantjie, Coach Stein, and the fucking rest of them,” he shot back at her, then looked straight over to where Lullu still lay, asleep and exhaled.
Mina stood and paced the room, folding her arms around her. “I knew it was them.” She stopped and glared down at him. “Why not tell me? We could have sorted it out together, gone to our parents …” She stopped and drew in what sounded like a deep, painful breath.
“Calm down please. I’ll get you back to the farm the moment the storm eases.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” she shifted closer to the fire.
Ray, so tired from the years of hiding from his pain, wiped both hands over his face. “Why didn’t you tell me, Mina?” He pointed to their daughter.
Tears drowned her beautiful chocolate gaze. “Because of what you said.”
Ray shuddered as the memory of calling her a kaffirs kind reverberated through his body.
He reached for her, but Mina pulled away. He dropped his arms at his side and they both stared at the flames devouring the pieces of wood they’d been fed. It didn’t matter how hard he tried; she’d hate him forever.
“I shattered my own heart that day, sold my soul to the devil. I was afraid that if I told you, you would confront them. Mina, you have no idea what they would have done to you. They were a bunch of entitled, hate-filled bastards, and the only way I knew how to stop you from being hurt was to …”
“Break my heart too.” Her voice trembled.
She closed the space between them. “Yes. It was the only thing I could think of to keep you safe. I should have gone to Pa, but he was old friends with Coach. I thought he’d turn me away too.”
Ray turned to face her. A flash illuminated the room, and a sharp crack echoed out across the heavens. Mina jumped and Ray pulled her into him.
She was warm and fit so perfectly in his arms, the way she always had and he wished she always would. Mina didn’t fight his embrace but gripped the collar of his jacket and leaned her head away. “Fuck you and thank you, Ray.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks and over her plump mouth. Ray was drawn to her lips like the ocean to the shore. Leaning his head down, he gently touched her mouth with his. Her body tensed then relaxed, a soft sigh brushing his face. Ray only deepened his kiss when her hand brushed up the side of his neck, coming to rest on the back of his head. She pulled him in to her.
The years and the pain between them seemed to melt away as her sweet taste overrode both his senses and better knowing. Ray allowed his hands to glide up her back and cup her neck. His lips touched her cheeks and stroked her jaw, following the silky path down her neck …
The couple jumped apart. The rustling of Lullu stirring reminding Ray they were not alone.
“Sorry,” he apologised, suddenly afraid of what might or might not happen next.
“She’s perfect.” Mina twisted where she sat huddled on his lap, and looked from her daughter’s sleeping form to him. “And so much like you it hurts to look at her on the hard days.”
“The only good thing I ever did.” His voice croaked.
“No. You have done many good things, but she surely is the most perfect. You’re more than the sum of your past, Ray. You were bright, beautiful, and hungry to live life before … and your sins are in the past. It’s time to move forward.”
“Is that the speech you give all the inmates?” He winced at his own words.
“Actually, it is. But they’re true, and you need to hear them too. I saw the Ray I’ve always loved tonight. You’re in there, coming back to life. Don’t give up … please.” Her plea almost broke his heart all over again.
“What now?” He had to know.
Mina shrugged. “Let’s get through this storm first.” She snuggled up to him, laying her head on his shoulder.
“That simple, eh?”
“No. I’m still pissed at you, and I’m still afraid of what you’re capable of, but …”
Ray shifted his head so he could see her face. “But?”
She bit her bottom lip, her eyes brimming with tears and fear. She sat up, cupped his face, and held his gaze with her own. “It scares the shit out of me, but I never stopped loving you.
10
Mina groaned. She’d confessed her love like a lovestruck teenager. What the holy fuck?
Ray said nothing. He only stroked her lips with his index finger. The sensation quickening her blood. His hand travelled across her cheek, and cupped her face. Leaning with his forehead against hers, the tips of their noses touched, “I love you too. I can be brave for both of us.”
Convinced lightning had penetrated the tinned roof, striking her, Mina gave herself over to the electricity zinging through her body. She shifted forward and straddled Ray. His hands found their place beneath her shirt. The touch of his rough palms on her skin sent her heart galloping as she gripped the back of his head and kissed him so hard, she feared her lips might bleed.
The spot between her legs rubbed against his hard flesh. He groaned his pleasure into her mouth.
The damn horse whinnied, and they were once again reminded of their daughter laying asleep on the floor behind them.
“Uhm…,” she cleared her throat, “We should probably…” she pointed with her thumb over her shoulder.
Ray grinned the same boyish grin from years ago. “Ja. Come, lie beside me. Tell me about our daughter.” He slid down on the cold tarp, pulling her back into his front and stretching out an arm for her to rest her head on.
Mina woke with a start. A wet, sticky nose huffed in her face. “What the …?”
Boesman’s whinny was accompanied by a soft giggle.
“Eeeew! Boesman!” she chastised, and placed a flat hand on the side of the horse’s face, pushing him away as she tried to sit up. Her body was cold and stiff from a night spent on the floor. Her arm wouldn’t budge.
“You both smile when you
sleep.” Lullu came to stand beside her pony, grinning brightly down at her.
Mina turned to look through sleepy eyes to see why her left arm wouldn’t budge and gasped as she found it tucked neatly beneath Ray in the early dawn light.
Shit!
With force, she ripped it away, and Ray jumped up, alert and on the defensive.
Lullu’s horse whinnied and shook his head.
“Shh, Boesie. It’s okay,” Lullu calmed him.
Mina leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. How was she going to explain this to her daughter, and what the everlasting heck had gotten into her last night?
“We better get back … dammit!” She stood and searched her jacket and pants pockets.
“What?” Ray brushed his hands through his hair, avoiding eye contact with both his daughter and her.
“I left my phone at home. Ben’s probably got the entire police force out hunting for us.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. Boesman and I will ride ahead. I’ll explain everything to Oom Ben and tell him you and my daddy are on your way in the bakkie.” Lullu stepped forward and gripped Ray’s hand in hers. A tsunami of emotions threatened to overwhelm Mina. Looking to Ray, his sapphire blue eyes rimmed with tears. He bit his quivering lip as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his neck.
“I look forward to getting to know you.” Lullu smiled, returned to her pony, and flung an arm around his neck.
Mina Stood frozen to the spot. Ray didn’t move either as Lullu flipped herself onto the horses bare back.
The pair were out of the room and shot through the front entrance, galloping across the sands before either Mina or Ray were able to understand what had just happened.
“When did you tell her?” Ray asked.
“I didn’t.” Mina wiped her hands over her face trying to digest what had just happened.
“Very intuitive for a thirteen-year-old,” Ray mumbled, more to himself than Mina.
“Welcome to my world.” She shook her head as she grabbed the tarp from the floor.
Mina clung to the vehicle’s steering wheel as she allowed the gravity of last night and the morning’s happenings to sink in. Her knuckles blanched, and her jaw ached from gritting her teeth.
“Did she figure us out on her own?” Ray’s voice was rough and thick with emotion.
“Must have. She’s not like other teens her age.”
“Clearly,” he replied, looking out the passenger window.
Mina pressed down hard on the petrol pedal and the bakkie sped across the old, rarely used dirt road. There would be a world of shit waiting for her at the farm house.
“Look. I don’t care what was said last night. It doesn’t change how I feel. When we get back, you need to return to your cabin and your duties. It’s important you complete the program; it’s the law.”
“And then, Mina? Where do we go from here? What will happen once I’ve completed the program? Don’t get me wrong. I want to move forward. But with both of you in my life, and I’m not sure how to do that.”
Mina slammed the dash. “Goddammit, Ray. You’ve brought nothing but chaos back into my life. Just give me today to fucking sort out the world of kak we’re returning to, okay? Can you do that one thing for me?”
Ray pushed back into his seat and the pair sat in silence for a moment.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to lose my shit like that. I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed.”
“You and me both,” he replied as they drove over the last mound and the farmhouse came in to view.
“Agh, my goedigge vok!” Mina took in the chaos stationed around the back of her home.
Cars and flashing lights stood parked around the back of the house and stables. Mina could make out Lullu and Boesman. Ben was standing beside the horse, and Abbe and a constable were chatting to couple she recognised immediately, and by the way Ray shifted in his seat beside her, he did too.
“Your sister and Thomas are here.” Mina sighed as she pulled up to the circus awaiting them.
She brought the bakkie to a skidding halt and sucked in her breath as both Abbe and her constable aimed their weapons at Ray.
“Put your hands where I can see them, Inmate Le Roux,” Abbe commanded.
“Put that away!” Mina yelled out her open window to Abbe and her colleague. Ray remained sitting in the passenger seat, hands raised in surrender.
“He’s been with me, and we are fine. He had permission to leave the inmate area last night.”
“That’s what I told them Mom. But no … I’m a kid. Who believes me?” Lullu waved her hands in the air.
Abbe cocked her head as Ben stormed toward them.
“Ben! Calm down, now.” Mina ordered and the burly man skidded to a halt, huffing and fixing his fuming gaze on Ray.
“Everything’s okay. Lullu ran off after Boesman last night. We followed and found shelter in the old farmhouse. Now, Abbe, I am sure you and your constable have better things to do.” Then, she turned to Ben. “Leave him be.”
Abbe and her constable replaced their weapons. “If you’re sure.”
“I am. Thanks.” Mina waved.
Ray slowly alighted from the car as his sister, Rochelle, and her husband, Thomas, walked up to them.
“Well you really didn’t have to summon the cavalry for our arrival.” His brother in law joked.
“See you two have reconnected.” Rochelle nodded toward Ray then embraced Mina, “It’s been a while.”
Mina gave the woman a quick hug then stepped back. “Sure has. Thanks for coming.”
Ray stepped forward holding out his hand, “Hello Sis, Thomas. It’s good to have here.”
Rochelle stepped back, her gaze guarded and cold, but her husband took Ray’s hand and shook it. “Good to see you, Raymond.”
“You need to get back to the camp, please.” Mina said.
“On my way.” He proffered a shy smile.
“You okay?” Rochelle placed her hands on Mina’s shoulders, “you’re wheezing.”
“Okay,” holding out a hand, “Hello sis, Thomas. It’s good to have you here.”
Ray zombie-walked back to his cabin. He wasn’t sure what he felt, but the understanding that he had something more important than himself to fight for raged against his current situation.
He was a father to a girl with the spirit of a wild mare. Not only that, the woman he’d always loved and would always love still loved him too.
Where to from there? He had no idea except that he would work his soul and his fingers to the bone to be the best he could for them both. He’d never lose them again, ever.
“Le Roux!” the familiar voice rumbled across the air like a stampeding bull elephant.
Ray turned and came nose-to-nose with an angry Ben Meintjies.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Ben grabbed him by his shirt.
Ray’s instinct took hold. He slapped both his flat hands against the man’s chest. Ben, caught off-guard, stumbled backward, skidded, and, like a bull aiming for a red muleta, raced at Ray.
“You think you’re the bee’s fucking knees.” Spittle splattered across Ray’s cheeks as Ben grabbed him once again by the collar.
Sensibility settled Ray’s temper, and he bit back his retaliation. Ben was big, but bullies were always driven by their anger; he’d easily take him down except that the last thing Mina needed was him getting into a fight with her manager.
“I have work to get to, sir.” Ray gritted his teeth, took hold of Ben’s hand, and forced him to let go as he stepped away.
“Work? You think you still have a place left here after the shit you just pulled?” Ben yelled. “Pack your bags. You’re done.” Ben pointed in the direction of the farm’s gate.
“I’m done when the boss says I’m done,” Ray replied and tried to walk past Ben, who placed his hand on Ray’s chest.
“Are you stupid or deaf? I said you’re outta here. This is my farm and those two”—he pointed towa
rd the farmhouse—“are my responsibility. And I believe you’re the reason this farm was targeted. I’ll protect them, which is more than I can say for you.”
Ray’s temper rose. He clenched a fist he badly wanted to land squarely in the man’s face. “Just let me get back to work, sir.”
Ben’s grip tightened around the fabric of Ray’s T-shirt. “Pack your blerrie things. You have no place here or in their lives. Lullu doesn’t need a piece of shit like you as a father.”
Ray’s head snapped to the side. He met Ben’s dark stare with one of his own. “It’s not your decision to make, nor is it any of your business.” God, he wanted to—no, needed to put this asshole down, but that could cost him dearly, and he wasn’t about to lose everything he’d fought so hard to regain.
Ben pulled back with his free arm. His large hurtled toward Ray’s jaw. Ray ducked, swung right, and retaliated with sharp jab to the man’s sternum effectively knocking the wind from his sails. This was the one of the few good moves he’d learned over the years drifting in and out of prison—how to fight and fight dirty.
“Enough!” a voice whipped across him as Thomas and Mina hurried toward them.
“Ray, get cleaned up and go to work. Ben, to my office, now,” she instructed, helping Ben up from where he’d fallen flat on his backside, heaving and spluttering.
Ray felt the smallest sliver of envy as Mina slid her arm beneath the burly bully’s and helped him to stand.
“You okay?” Thomas’s genuine concern caught Ray off-guard. He waved the man away.
“Yeah.” Ray nodded and returned to his cabin where he grabbed his toiletries and work uniform.
He’d have to watch his back from here on out. With Ben gunning for him, he wasn’t safe.
Hot water soaked the flesh of his stiff body.
While every one of his dreams had come true last night, the tarp had not made the cold concrete farmhouse floor any more comfortable to sleep on. The shower relieved some of the stiffness, but his back and neck still complained as he moved.
Road to Redemption Page 9
