He kisses me twice and falls back onto the pillow. “You should stop.”
“When you do that…stop kissing me. It makes me miss you,” I admit. “Like I’ll never get to experience it again.”
“If you keep kissing me, and I have no space to breathe or walk away, you are going to end up taking off your shirt.”
I stifle my giggle, turning my face into my shoulder.
He pushes my hanging hair behind my ears. “You are really beautiful, Kylie.” His gaze shifts around my face. “And your smile makes me tranquil.” His thumb brushes over the dent in my cheek. “All your strengths and your flaws.”
“I don’t want us, or this, to end tonight. It’s new for me, and I don’t fully understand my feelings for you, but I’m immersed in it. And I can’t diminish this.” I lean back, sitting on his hips. “What you say, you can’t mean.”
He stares as his hands graze from my thighs to my ribs and back. He looks up to the ceiling. “I should have let you leave, Ky,” he groans.
“Don’t say that,” I complain.
“Okay.” He licks his lips. “Come back.”
Submission: the action of yielding to a superior force.
I mentally snatch the dangling line, throwing it out the window. How dare it tease me like this? Tempt me and provoke me to giving into temptation.
“You are not unaccustomed to girls being on top of you,” I say after I’ve leaned over, but before I decide to kiss him.
“No, but this is usually my limit. Just about. They usually have on less than you.”
“Not anymore, right?”
“It’s only you.” He pecks my mouth. “Watch out because this isn’t going to have a good ending.”
“How will it not?”
“Do you want me to have sex with you?”
I lean away from him, rapidly shaking my head. “Huh, no.”
“Then move. And don’t touch me for two minutes.”
My curiosity mounts at the warning. “Okay, but after you say you’re into me.” I’m forcing him, just like he forced me to admit my secrets. “Respond,” I demand softly.
He smiles, and it makes me mushy inside. His guard’s down, and he’s unblocked. I enjoy seeing him like this and that only I can make it happen. How can he want me to go on tomorrow and pretend this never happened? The memory will be murder.
He’s quiet.
“You may as well say it, before our nothing turns into nothing, and we walk around, pretending each other doesn’t exist.”
“You know I like you, Ky.” He pulls my body to his and turns us over with him over me. “Stop it.” He moves his hips against mine, grinding against my center. I gasp, tremors scattering through me. “Before you want me to stop.” He backs away and does it again. “And it becomes harder to back out.” And again.
I have to bite the inside of my cheek to hold in the excited way it makes me feel. My hands have balled into tight fists, and my knees shake. I’m holding my breath. Stopping is the furthest thing from my mind. It feels nice, and he’s the perfect weight over me. The deep rasp of his voice is alluring, drawing me in deeper and deeper with every spoken word.
“And you are making stopping extremely difficult.” He does it again, grabbing my thigh, causing an odd pressure to build in my chest and back. “Tell me to stop, Ky.” He does it once again as he kisses me and my adrenaline pumps, making this overwhelming to hold it all in.
He’s immersing me in pleasure.
Pleasure: to give sexual enjoyment or satisfaction to.
My heart thrums, my breaths rush, all as I grow lightheaded.
“Kylie,” he says against my mouth. “Tell―me―to―stop.” His hips meet mine again. “Please tell me to stop.” His kiss not only stills my lips, but my breath too. His hand travels to my waist band.
I squeeze his waist. “Stop,” I murmur, breathlessly.
He leans back, boring down at me. “Okay.” He takes my hands. “Don’t let Cory do you like this.”
“I… I couldn’t. Never with anyone but you.” Only you could be in my personal space. I only want you in my personal space. This personal, with no space. I want to say to him. But I swallow it as I try to calm down, and I drown in another kiss.
Chapter Thirty-One
Luke and I head to Jord’s office. “What did you and Marc do last night?”
A nervous pinch in my back makes my eyes widen at his interest in my evening. There’s no way he knows, but I blurt out, “Nothing, we talked. Why?”
He shrugs a shoulder. “I’m making sure you didn’t do anything more than talk.”
“We didn’t,” I defend, brows drawn taut. “Back off!”
“What’s wrong with you? Why do you have an attitude?”
I watch a dust twister whip up to the sky, and feel bad about snapping. It’s not Luke’s fault. “Sorry, Luke. I just. Ugh, I just don’t—” I need to tell Luke so he can help me cope with this. “Last night, Marc told me. No, last night, we decided whatever we didn’t have will end today. I have to act like none of it ever existed. And we’re to treat each other like we do everyone else.”
“You were catching feelings for him, weren’t you?” he accuses. But he doesn’t sound like he disapproves like he did with Cory. It sounds troubled, worried.
“Caught,” I say, in correction.
He shakes his head. “We talked about this, Ky. I told you that would happen, and you knew your limitations. You two ending it was best for the both of you. For all four of us.”
“I know, Luke. I know that.” I kick the ground, and dust flies up. “But me admitting it doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“I get that, Ky, but you know the outcome and the reason our feelings shouldn’t be involved in others. We have one true purpose. Stay focused on that.”
“I don’t even see how you can still say that with everything we have found out recently.”
“Drop it,” he says, seeing Jord lean against the post by the door of his office, watching our approach and the buses pulling in around us.
Luke came into Marc’s room right before the sun came up this morning. He called me from the door, seeing me curled up next to him. Marc’s arms were wound tightly around me, and the last thing I wanted to do was move away from him. To break our relaxation. To end our beginning before we created an end. But I left without waking him and didn’t look back.
“Cory was removed from his placement and requested to give up his position,” Jord says when we make it before him. “Luke, you will replace him. There is no training required, you will have more responsibilities and be required to follow up with the multiple leaders of Separation.”
“I understand,” Luke states.
“Marc will be taking the place we assigned you yesterday. And Floyd will take his spot as second. Do you have any questions or concerns about this change?”
“No, sir,” Luke responds.
“That makes Marc your direct partner, Kylie.” Of course it does. The moment we end our relationship is when we’re forced to be around each other almost every second of the day. Jord continues, “It’s not ideal that it’s not your twin, but Luke won’t be far off. You two were exceptional yesterday. Thank you for helping us.”
Luke and I nod.
“The Normals of Separation are pouring in. You should go out for greeting and introductions,” he says to Luke.
Luke nods and leaves.
Jord enters his office and sits in the chair behind his desk. I remain near the door, awaiting dismissal. “It was not ignored that Cory had an attraction to you, Kylie, one you may have shared with him. I would advise keeping your distance. He will remain here but as a disloyal participant in Separation, all under wraps.”
I nod when his eyes meet mine.
“Did he come see you last night?”
I wait to answer, going over what Cory said. Nothing along the lines of me not saying he did come see me. “Yes, sir,” I answer evenly.
“Did he tell you what happ
ened?”
I will not release the extent of our conversation, that Jord and Seits are suspects of housing insertions. “He informed me he will be stepping down and Luke will replace him, sir. That he is now lowest ranked.”
Jord nods. “Nothing else?” he asks with a turn and slight rise to his head. Suspicion for my response, a clear reveal he may not believe me.
Confidently, I reply, “He didn’t want me to lose my trust in him. But I see him as a traitor, a snake that tried to provide inside information to others, sir.”
“Good.” He stands. “Meet your group, Captain. Take them on a run. Tomorrow there will be more of them.”
“I understand, sir.”
Fein runs to me as I’m stepping from the general’s stoop. “Hey, where you headed?”
“To gather my group and take them for a run. You want to come?”
“Yes, that’s a good idea.”
“You and Collins had a fall out?”
I adjust my rear holster that is harboring my gun. “No, we’re fine. We’re over her tiff.”
Sean runs up next to us. “Hey, where are you ladies headed?”
“The groups’ rec hall,” Fein answers.
“Ky,” someone yells from behind us.
Pfeifer’s running our way, her long fire-red hair whipping behind her.
“Fire,” I say excitedly. She’s taller and not as upset as I thought she would be about being here.
We greet with a hug, and she eyes Sean. “Marc?” she questions skeptically.
“Yes. Hi, Fire,” he says, impeccably mocking Marc’s raspy voice. Sean’s voice is smooth with a pinch of base. It’s not heavy, and because he finds the world and everything in it amusing, it fits his lightness.
“Hey,” she chirps happily, flashing him a smile.
I shake my head, punching Sean in his stomach. It hurts me more than it hurts him because my fist hits his vest. “He is not Marc,” I say through my teeth as I punch his arm. I turn to Fire smiling. “That’s Sean.” I chuck my thumb in his direction. “You can tell by their expressions. Marc’s is serious, Sean’s is goofy,” I say wryly.
“Hey! I am not goofy,” he retorts with a push to my shoulder. “I’m lighthearted.”
“Hey, I’m Feiney,” she cuts in, smiling at Fire. “Everyone calls me Fein.”
“Hi Fein,” Fire says. “Nice to meet you. I better get back, just wanted to say hi, Ky.”
“Okay, I’ll ask Luke to put you with me. Wouldn’t want you to end up with Sean,” I say with a smug smile, nudging his arm.
Sean turns his head and spits on the ground. “Hey, I’m a good leader.”
“No, tell him to put me with Marc,” Fire says flirtatiously.
Sean cracks a shoulder-wide grin as he waggles his brows. “Yeah, Ky, tell Luke to put Fire with Marc,” he says slyly. “They look like they’ll work well together.”
I step back, and with a slight jump to my left foot, I kick my right foot into Sean’s chest, sending him hitting the dirt. “Shut up!” I say, looking him over.
He laughs as he picks himself up from the ground. “Whoa, Ky, calm down.” He smiles wide. “Everyone already knows Marc’s—”
“Marc’s what?” Marc asks, joining our banter.
Jitters burst through my stomach, causing my skin to tremble so badly it itches.
“You—” Sean begins.
“Shut up, Sean,” I say, cutting him off. He throws his head back, laughing even harder. It’s not that amusing.
“Hey, Marc,” Fire greets sweetly.
I pull Fein to leave with me. “See you later, Fire. Eat dust, Sean.”
Sean yells behind me, “Love you, Ky!”
“You don’t want Fire to know about you and Marc?” Fein asks.
I watch my feet as we stride to the group’s rec hall. “There’s no such thing, Fein. So, there’s nothing to know.”
Fein huffs a disbelieving laugh. “Since when? Everybody knows you’re the only girl here capable of seizing Marcain’s time.”
My trigger finger twitches and I ball my fists to stop it. “There just isn’t, okay? Stop talking about it.”
She nods and follows with a shrug.
The dirt roads are getting crowded with the last of Separation coming in. It’s going to get a lot louder around here, and noise attracts the Zombies. I hope Jord has a solid plan for those things.
We enter the rec hall and gather everyone from our groups. “We are going to run together,” Fein announces.
“Just a jog, no challenge,” I add. “Respond!”
“We understand,” they reply.
Fein and I turn around running into Luke and Marc as they enter.
“This is another recreation hall,” Luke says as he’s pushing open the door, leading a group of fifteen that’s crowded around him. “What’s going on?” he asks, acknowledging our banded group.
“Going for laps,” I answer.
Luke nods. “Most of you know Kylie and Feiney, and some of you may end up in either of their groups.”
Fein speaks, “Hello. Looking forward to meeting you all more personally soon.”
I hold my peace, training my eyes away from my distraction.
“Move aside so they can leave,” Marc says.
I’m the first out the door, keeping my gaze trained on a target at all time. We jog to the track and run laps until the Normals’ traffic settles down.
Chapter Thirty-Two
It’s hot out, and the clouds are coming in. We’re due for a storm. I can already smell the wet mud and feel the beads of rain falling on my head.
Fein and most of my group left the track when I called it a day, but five keep at it, including Jesail and Amber. I’m enjoying their momentum and drive. They’ve matured so much over the past couple of weeks. If they keep at it, I’ll be putting a good word for them to become leaders.
“Be in before the rain,” I tell them before leaving.
Cory’s at my side, heavy steps matching my jog. “Going to lunch?” he asks.
“Yes.
“Did Luke hear us last night?”
I slow to a walk and frown, wondering if Luke might’ve said something. “No, why?”
“The way he looks at me.”
“In his eyes, you’re a traitor and a thief. How do you expect him to look at you? Wave and smile, maybe offer you a big hug?” I shrug.
“I don’t know, it just feels off.”
To someone who conspired against us, it would. “You just feel guilty for what you did and being caught.”
He twists his lips to the side and knits his brows. “I guess. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to talk to you.”
We enter the mess hall and grab trays already loaded with food. As I’m finding a seat with Collins, Floyd, Sean, and Fein, Cory joins us. Cory being with us draws stares and mutters.
“Why aren’t you greeting?” Collins asks.
“Why aren’t you minding your business?” I ask her.
She glares at me through her lashes with an angry edge. “You can’t have both, Ky. And you don’t need to talk to me that way.”
“Watch your mouth, Collins,” I tell her, looking back at my plate. She’s pushing her luck with me and this plastic fork.
“Yeah, Collins, please don’t say the wrong thing to Ky today. You know, mention any names that rhyme with bark. She’s in a mood,” Sean says.
I look at my fork and back at him. “Do you want to see how fast this fork can end up in your eye?”
An evil grin takes up his face as his eyes light up with interest. “I would like to see that actually. Hold on.” He stands. “Let me go get Marc.” He smirks, looking down at me.
I know Marc told him we ended things, and he’s teasing me, but it’s not funny. He’s being a jerk and is also working on seeing how talented I am with turning a fork into a weapon.
“What are you doing?” Marc asks, taking the empty seat next to me. He looks over my shoulder at Cory and back to me. I scoff. How
dare he question me? And sit next to me?
I swallow the yell rattling my throat and the anger boiling in my head. “Nothing,” I answer.
“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.”
“I’m doing exactly what you asked me to do, Marc.” I shrug a shoulder. “Nothing.”
“Fine,” he declares, getting up. I watch him walk away. My legs nervously twitching under the table is the only thing keeping me seated because I want to follow him. I have never felt this frustrated about something or someone, ever. Last night, when he stopped me, I should’ve just left.
Why, Ky, why didn’t you leave? Why let him touch you like he did, knowing today would be like this? He told you before you laid down that was it, and you laid down anyway. Let this go! He needs you to let it go. Please. It’s not good for either of you.
“Ky,” Luke calls, cutting into my thoughts. “What are you doing?”
“That seems to be the question of the day,” says Sean, now seated.
“I’m eating lunch,” I state, gesturing at my tray with open hands. “Isn’t that what it looks like.”
His eyes shift around the table. “Let me talk to you about something, outside.” He looks from Cory to me.
I throw my fork down as I stand. I bump him with my shoulder as I pass him and march toward the doors. “What?” I angrily shout after we’ve made it outside. “What the hell is so important?”
He points his finger in my face. “You need to calm down, Kylie. You’re the one making a mistake.”
I smack his hand out of my face. “A mistake about what, Luke?” I ask in a lower tone.
He looks around him at the few people walking in and out the mess hall. “You know,” he mutters through his teeth.
“Luke, I’m not doing anything. I’m not alone with him. We are around everyone else. What’s the problem?”
“You shouldn’t be around him, period. He openly told you he was a traitor and tried to put the blame on someone else to justify his reasoning. You would still associate yourself with him?”
“Time out, Luke, why are you even here? Don’t you have a bus to greet and a group to lead someplace? How did you even know I was here with him?”
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