Or maybe she shouldn’t get too far ahead of herself.
But he did mention forever, so…
“Dammit, Pops!” she cried, slamming her hand on the ground. “This is just all too much! Why couldn’t you have talked to me about this first? Told me what you were planning? Maybe if I had some advanced warning that you were considering leaving me the shop, I would know how I should have prepared!”
Even as she said the words, Mallory realized how unreasonable she was being. Pops did something wonderful for her and it wasn’t his fault that she was having a hard time figuring out where she was supposed to be.
They have computers in Magnolia Sound, sweet pea. It’s not just a New York thing.
And that was something she had been telling herself for the last several days. She’d be giving up her job with the company she had been with for two years to start over somewhere new. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, right? To be able to live where she always wanted to live and be near her family and Jake…well…wasn’t that worth it?
There was another tiny voice in her head that wouldn’t shut up, reminding her of how important it was to work hard and be successful. The constant chatter of how hard she’d worked for her degree and all the hours she’d put in to get to this point in her career, along with the prestige of getting this promotion…
Ugh…she wished that damn voice would just shut up!
Quietly, Mallory finished her lunch and then looked around her. Even the cemetery was beautiful. Everything was peaceful here and as much as it made her heart ache, she knew this was the perfect resting place for Pops.
She reached into the basket and pulled out the envelope Richard had given her the day the will was read. It was something she’d been avoiding, but now seemed like the perfect time to read it.
My sweet Mallory,
Boy this is some pickle, isn’t it? I feel like I should be sitting under one of our magnolia trees holding your hand and talking to you rather than doing it like this. It doesn’t feel right. One of my greatest joys in life was sitting and talking with you. You were always so smart and insightful, but more than that, you were more than happy to sit and listen to the ramblings of this old man. Thank you for letting me relive my glory days every time we sat down together.
You have grown into such an amazing young woman and I am proud to be your great-grandfather. I have to admit, I never understood all that crazy technology stuff you prattled on about, but you are passionate about it and I knew you’d make a success of yourself doing it. Just remember this–all the success in the world means nothing if you’re alone. Your mother misses you, your cousins miss you, your brother needs you, but most of all, Jake needs and misses you. He don’t say it much, but I can tell. Trust me, I never thought I’d be the kind of person to butt into other people’s business but I just thought you should know that.
I know you’re hurting and I know why. And I understand why you didn’t come home this summer. I missed you, but I understood. I’m sure you’re beating yourself up over it but that’s not what I want. You’re a grown woman who is entitled to have the time and space you need. You always called and we talked all the time.
By now I’m sure you know what I’ve left for you and I want you to know I’m not going to explain myself. All I’ll say is that damn shop gave you so much joy every time you came to visit that I thought you should have it. As for what I left to Sam, well…promise me you’ll keep an eye on him and convince him to work with it. He’s not as smart as he thinks he is and I know a career change will be good for him. He never would listen to me but maybe he’ll listen to you.
Sweet pea, remember all of our picnics. Remember holding my hand as I explained what all the flower names are. Sit out on the deck and enjoy the sounds of the waves. Take time to watch the sunset. These are some of the things I never took for granted and I don’t want you to either. Be happy in this life and know that I love you. And this isn’t goodbye. We’ll see each other again someday.
Love, Pops
Hugging the letter close to her chest, she cried anew. It was the most perfect thing he could have done for her and the fact that she chose to read it now made it feel like they were really having one of their picnics together.
“I miss you so much, you know. Every day. I walk around the house and I keep waiting to hear your voice. Then I go outside and look at the gardens and they’re all torn up and I imagine seeing you working to put them all back together.” She paused. “It’s so hard when it hits me that none of those things are going to happen ever again.”
She sat there for a long time before she started to pack things up. When everything was folded up and put back in the basket, Mallory stood and said a silent prayer. “I’ll miss you every day. And I promise to do everything I can to make you proud,” she said quietly. “I love you.”
With her head hung low, she made her way back to her car and put the basket on the back seat. The drive through the small cemetery was done through a sea of tears. Before turning onto the main road, she took a minute to compose herself. Looking at herself in the mirror wasn’t an option–she already knew she was a mess–but the only thing she wanted to do was get back to the house.
When she pulled in the driveway a few minutes later, there were construction vehicles everywhere. It wasn’t anything new, but she really hoped to get into the house without anyone stopping to talk with her. Luckily she didn’t see Jake’s truck anywhere so she knew that was one less person she would have to deal with. Weaving her way around the workers, Mallory opted to go around the house and out to the yard. She glanced at the newly-completed deck and smiled before heading down to the pier and to the boathouse. Both still needed some minor repairs, but right now, she hardly noticed.
Once inside the boathouse, she turned on the small A/C unit, closed the shades and curled up on the sofa. This was her place–her little hideaway from the rest of the world. Exhaustion had her almost asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She kicked off her sandals and pulled the soft afghan that was draped over the back of the sofa over her as she curled up on her side. There would be time to think about work and job decisions later, but for right now, she just needed to rest her eyes and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.
Whenever Mallory couldn’t be found in the house, it was common knowledge that she was down in the boathouse. Jake had gone looking for her when he was done with work for the day and after both he and Susannah couldn’t find her, he knew exactly where to go.
The property was finally quiet now that everyone was gone for the day and it felt good. Nice. Exactly the way things used to be before the hurricane blew through and turned life upside down. Jake made a note of the few boards on the pier that still needed to be replaced and when he reached the door of the boathouse, he lightly knocked so he wouldn’t startle Mallory.
When he stepped inside, it was dim and cool and he could see her curled up, sound asleep on the sofa. Closing the door, he stepped closer to her and kicked off his shoes. Unable to help himself, he crouched down in front of her and gently combed her hair away from her face. She hummed softly in her sleep and he could tell she’d been crying.
He rested his head on the edge of the sofa and sighed. Even though he had no idea what exactly had caused her tears, he was sure all the pressure she was under was part of it. And what was he doing? Adding to it. It didn’t matter how much she kept talking about needing to go back to New York and her job, all he wanted was for her to give it up and come to live in Magnolia with him. And because he knew her family so well–and even though he asked them not to–Jake was pretty sure the rest of her family had been after her to make the move as well.
The thought of Mallory not being here with him every day made his heart actually hurt. He didn’t want to think of a day without her, but…he also didn’t want to see her looking this sad and exhausted. She deserved to have everything she wanted and to be happy, so if going back up north to her job is what did that for her, then…he w
ould stand back and let her go. That didn’t mean he was giving up on the two of them though. They’d deal with the long-distance thing and he’d help her with her business in any way that he could and he’d go up to New York and see her and then try to be patient and wait for her to come back once a month to handle the shop. It could work.
It had to.
Carefully, he crawled onto the sofa behind her and got under the blanket with her. Gently, he wrapped one arm around her and lined their bodies up in the way he knew she loved. Everything in him relaxed because just being close to her did that to him. For now, he simply enjoyed the quiet with her because once she woke up, he was going to encourage her to leave–to follow the dream she had worked so hard for and promise her that he’d be here waiting.
Then his conversation with Marshall came to mind.
Expansion didn’t just have to be in the surrounding states, he could just as easily start up a branch of Coleman’s up in New York as he could somewhere closer like Virginia! The idea had merit and maybe they could find a way to split their time between their two places and work their jobs and…it would be crazy and chaotic and a lot of time on the road, but it would all be worth it if at the end of every day, he could hold her like this.
As his mind began to swirl with ideas about expansion and traveling and all the possibilities, Jake couldn’t help but yawn. The day was catching up with him and he promised to rest his eyes for just a few minutes before waking Mallory up and taking her to dinner where they could talk.
He placed a kiss on her shoulder and hugged her a little closer. And as his eyes drifted shut all he could think of was how he couldn’t wait to tell her the great news for their future.
11
“You’re going to what?” Mallory cried later that night. She shook her head, certain she was hearing things.
“I’m going to look into opening a division of Coleman’s up in New York!” he said excitedly. They were eating pizza out on his deck and he looked genuinely happy with the news he had sprung on her.
“Jake, it’s crazy! You can’t just start up another division of Coleman’s! Just…no.”
He looked at her in disbelief. “Why not? It’s the perfect solution to everything!”
Tossing her pizza back down onto the box, Mallory mentally counted to ten before speaking again. “Okay, for starters, you’re just now taking over the business and you have more than enough work here in Magnolia to keep you busy for the next year. Easily.”
His expression told her he hadn’t thought of that.
“Pops wasn’t interested in branching out. It wasn’t what was important to him. Now I get it that you’re looking for a way to make the company your own–and I’m not saying you should never expand, but the timing just isn’t right for you to do it this soon.”
“Mallory…”
“And why are you suddenly so interested in this? Just days ago you were all about me moving here and working both jobs! Why the change of heart?”
He let out a long breath and put his own pizza down. “I realized how selfish I was being!” he snapped defensively. “When I went to the boathouse and found you, I could tell you’d been crying and it hit me how much you’ve had to deal with. Then I realized how much I was adding to your stress and thought this would make a great compromise.” Raking a hand through his hair, he let out another long breath. “I thought this would make you happy, Mallory.”
It hit her how much he was trying–trying to make things right for her and for them. It was a very plausible solution so she could have her cake and eat it too, only…it felt wrong. Not that he wanted to be with her, but that he was diving into an expansion because of her.
“Jake, it’s…it’s too much. You need to wait before tackling something like this,” she said, feeling like she was being the voice of reason. But when Jake jumped to his feet cursing, she had a feeling he didn’t see it quite the same way.
“Dammit, Mallory!” he yelled. “Do you even want to be with me or are you just killing time here?”
“Oh, my gosh…are we back to this again?” she said with exasperation. “I mean honestly, Jake, this is getting crazy! If I didn’t want to be with you, I would tell you!”
“Then why is it every time I find a way for us to be together–for us not to have to do the long-distance thing–you back off or argue about what it is I’m trying to say or do?”
“I don’t do that…”
“Yes, you do,” he countered and then paced away before turning back to her. Walking closer, her gently grasped her shoulders. “Don’t you get it? I want to be with you. The thought of you going back to New York and only coming back once a month to work at the shop is killing me! When I look at you, I see everything that I want–a future! But if you don’t feel the same or if you don’t want the same thing then…could you just say it now? Please?”
He was killing her. So much of what he was saying was exactly what she wanted. She loved him and…dammit, she wouldn’t put her heart out on the line again and have him not do it. Sure he was saying things that sounded like he felt the same way, but Mallory needed the words–needed him to say it without her asking him to. Maybe it was petty and childish, but she’d learned the hard way that words did matter.
Knowing she had to be the voice of reason, she did her best to calm him down. “Jake, you know how much you mean to me, but things are a little chaotic right now. Why can’t we just give this a try to see how it works–me coming back once a month and you working on rebuilding Magnolia Sound? You have more than enough to keep you busy and I know you say it will be hard for us not to see each other, but I think we’ll have too much to do to focus on that.” She offered him a smile but he didn’t return it.
With a huff, she pulled out of his grasp.
“Look, I’m not saying it’s going to be perfect, but shouldn’t we at least try?”
She was expecting Jake to argue–to tell her she was wrong–but he didn’t. Instead, he walked over and began cleaning up their dinner. Once he had everything stacked up and ready to bring into the house, he faced her. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do.” His words were spoken so quietly that she almost didn’t hear him, but the expression on his face said it all.
He would do this for her.
Just like he would have expanded his business to New York just so he could be with her.
Maybe words weren’t his thing, but his actions–his sacrifices–said it all. Slowly, Mallory walked over to him and cupped his face in her hands. “Why?” she asked softly. “Why are you so willing to keep doing this?”
The last time she saw him look so overcome with emotion was the day of Pops’ funeral. It almost broke her then, and it was about to break her now.
Jake mimicked her pose. His large hands holding her face. “Because I love you,” he said gruffly. “I keep trying to do what I think will make you happy and…and it seems like I keep messing it up.” He rested his forehead against hers. “So we’ll do whatever it is that you want us to do and we’ll make it all work because I’d rather have one week a month with you than nothing at all.”
Tears fell in earnest before Mallory could even think to stop them. Closing the distance between them, she kissed him–kissed him with everything she had and melted against him as he kissed her back just as urgently. They moved together–banging into deck furniture as well as the side of the house in their attempt to get inside. At the sliding door, Mallory pulled back and smiled at him. “I love you so much,” she said breathlessly. “Six years ago I fell in love with you and I don’t think I ever stopped.”
His knuckles caressed her cheek. “Six years ago I was too stupid to tell you how I really felt. I was afraid to believe that what I felt–what we had–was the real deal because there were so many damn obstacles. So I didn’t say the words. I thought if I didn’t say them, it would make things easier when it all fell apart.” He placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. “But it didn’t. If anything, I’ve kicked mys
elf every day for not being as brave as you.”
She gasped softly. “You think I’m brave?”
He nodded.
“But…why? I’m a damn mess, Jake. I can’t seem to make a decision about my life or what I’m supposed to do and…” Okay, it was time to put it all out there. If he could be honest, so could she. “I hated that you never said you loved me,” she admitted lowly. “And not just six years ago. But since I’ve been back. Every time you talked about wanting me to move here and be with you, I kept waiting for you to say the words. I thought if you said them it would help me make sense of everything.”
He gave her a lopsided grin. “And did it?”
She shook her head. “No. It didn’t. And do you know why?”
Now it was his turn to shake his head.
“Because you proved to me every damn day how you felt and I was too blind to see it.”
Jake hugged her close. “I think we need to get better about talking to each other. I’ve spent every day since you’ve been back thinking you didn’t want to be with me and second-guessing myself. Promise me we’ll do better. Remind me every day if I’m messing up.”
Kissing his chin, she pulled back slightly and grinned up at him. “That’s a lot of power you’re giving me right there. You realize that?”
Chuckling, he hugged her even tighter. “You’re not the type to take advantage of that. And…just so you know…I’ll be sure to remind you if I think you’re messing up so it will be fair.”
“Hmm…” She snuggled in close, loving the feel of his arms around her and the sound of his heartbeat under her ear. “I guess it’s only right. But…”
“But…?”
“I don’t think it will be necessary because we’ve got this. We’ve worked hard to get where we are and things are going to be crazy for the next several months, but it will all be worth it.”
Remind Me Page 18
