by Jane Josephs
Nick got up, closed his laptop, and set it on his desk. The emerald horseshoe necklace still sat on his dresser. He picked it up and held it out. The necklace looked delicate and fragile against the worn calluses and rough skin of his palm. Alison had never complained about his touch, had even kissed his hand as they sat together on the rocks today. Lifting the necklace, he brought the heart to his lips and closed his eyes, remembering the taste of hot chocolate on Alison’s lips. The feel of her in his arms. The soft glow of love in her eyes. Was he only imagining it? And if not, if she loved him as he hoped, what was next for them?
~ ~ ~
Thursday evening, Alison tossed her purse onto the back seat of her car and backed out of her parking space. How could it be Thursday already? Where had the week gone? She had barely finished her blog and posted it in time to meet her friend Lisa Wilmott, who had been in town all week for a biotech conference.
“And, isn’t this just like Emma.” Alison fumed as she drove toward the hotel where Lisa was staying. “Why can’t she answer a simple text?” Worry clouded her mind. Was the girl off somewhere with Travis? Or hanging out on the street again? Why couldn’t or wouldn’t she answer Alison’s text?
The San Diego Marriott Marquis came into sight. Alison turned into the driveway and drove toward the door. Waving off the valet parking attendant, she maneuvered her car into a spot near the door and craned her neck to see if Lisa was anywhere in sight. The conference included almost no scheduled downtime, but Alison didn’t plan on letting Lisa get out of town until they’d had a chance to catch up over dinner and a couple of margaritas. After all, who knew her better than Lisa? The friendship they’d forged at Berkeley had only deepened over the last few years. Especially when Lisa’s mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer.
The car door opened, startling Alison. “Hey you!”
“Hey you, right back.” Lisa hugged and air-kissed Alison across the center console.
“Look at you!” Alison eyed Lisa up and down, admiring her friend’s short red skirt, white blouse, and designer scarf. Her long blonde hair spilled over her shoulders and framed her heart-shaped face. “I mean, you look gorgeous! No one, I mean, no one, would ever take you for a stuffy old scientist.”
Lisa laughed. “Except Ben. But I don’t want to talk about him, okay?”
“Hmmm. Boyfriend trouble?” Alison shook her head. Lisa had been dating a patent lawyer she’d met on line for the last three months, but Alison had her doubts about the relationship. Still, she didn’t want to see her best friend hurt. “You don’t really think I’m going to let that comment go, do you?”
“It’s nothing, really. Just a couple of bumps in the road. We’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. Trust me. Drop it, okay? I want to hear about you.”
Alison clamped down hard on her need to know. “Okay, you win. So, tell me instead, how was the conference this time?”
Lisa turned in her seat, her hands palming her cheeks. “So great. Amazing. Over too soon. You know what a conference junkie I am, and this one didn’t disappoint.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder with one hand and leaned toward Alison. “I mean, these people out here in San Diego? They’re doing such great work in cancer research. I am totally inspired. One of these days I’m going to apply for a job out here. See if I don’t. But right now, I can’t wait to get my toes in the sand. Let’s get to the beach.”
“Pushy, pushy,” Alison teased, and headed toward Coronado. What was going on with her best friend and her boyfriend? Why didn’t she want to talk about it? “But seriously, I would love to have you living out here. Ben, too. If that’s what you’d want. That would be way cool. Make it happen, will you? Soon.”
“Yeah, I should.” Lisa licked her lips and sighed. “But right now, things are good in Philly. I’m working on a paper I’m hoping to get published. The company’s got a couple of investors. So, it’s unlikely I’ll move too soon. We’ll see.” Lisa tugged off the scarf that she had been wearing. “I love it out here though. The weather’s been perfect this time, not that I’ve had a chance to be outside.” She laughed. “Not at all like the rain we had to put up with when I was here last January, remember? At least it didn’t keep us from ice skating. That was awesome.”
“You were awesome. I still can’t get over how I didn’t know you were once a champion figure skater. Makes me wonder what else you’re hiding from me!”
“My life is an open book, and you know it.”
Memories flooded Alison’s mind: the long conversations she and Lisa used to have about the meaning of life, the all-night study sessions, the double dates and weekend parties. They had shared it all at Berkeley, and more since then. Alison glanced at Lisa. Her friend hadn’t rejected her when Alison’s affair and the subsequent fall-out from it became the fuel for vicious gossip. Instead, she’d held Alison’s hand and cried right along with her.
“Yeah, I guess I already know quite a few of your secrets. And you know mine.” Alison giggled. “Except, well, I’ve got a whole bunch I haven’t told you about yet.” Before Lisa could say anything, she asked, “Did you remember to bring a towel to get the sand off your feet this time?”
“When did you get to be such a big tease? But you will spill all . . . sooner rather than later.” Lisa laughed and patted the bag at her feet. “And yes, I’ve got my towel this time. One of the hotel’s finest.”
~ ~ ~
The evening breeze wafted over Alison, bringing the fragrance of jasmine. Seated across from Lisa after dinner at Stillwater, the outdoor Hotel Del Coronado restaurant overlooking the ocean, she laughed. “Okay, yes, I’m seeing someone. His name is Nick, and he’s a Navy SWCC instructor.” Alison leaned forward, unable to keep from grinning when she talked about Nick. She put her coffee cup down and sighed a dreamy sigh.
Lisa laughed. “You’re more than seeing someone. You’re in love, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” Alison giggled again. “Yes, yes, yes.”
“Whoa. When did all this happen?” Lisa shook her head and reached out to capture Alison’s hand. “I am so happy for you! But, what’s a Navy swick?”
“They’re a small, select special warfare community. They call themselves dirty boat guys. But swick is the way you say the initials, SWCC, which stands for Special Warfare Combatant-Craft Crewmen. The guys drive fast boats and shoot big guns, insert and extract the SEALS from coastal waters or rivers around the world, and do a bunch of other too-dangerous-to-talk-about stuff. Nick’s been deployed twice to the Middle East, but now he’s an instructor at the Navy base in Coronado. He and ten other instructors determine who gets to be a SWCC, and who doesn’t, based on a specific set of criteria, of course.” Alison grinned. “Nick and his family also own Quarter Horses out in Ramona, about forty miles from the city.”
Lisa’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? You. You’re seeing a Navy boat guy. I never would have pictured you with a guy in uniform.”
“I know. Not my usual type. But, oh, Lisa, he’s the best. Not like any other guy I’ve ever dated.”
“And he just happens to own horses? You don’t even ride, Ali. When did this happen? Tell me everything.”
“I know it sounds crazy, but I do ride. Now. Nick and his brother have been giving me lessons.”
Lisa shook her head. “I’m totally impressed and amazed. And just so happy for you! Let me see his picture.” She leaned forward. “These dirty boat guys are allowed to have their picture taken, right?”
“Of course. I think. I didn’t ask. I hope it’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s just on my phone. I didn’t post it anywhere.” Alison scrolled through her pictures. The selfie she’d taken with Nick on Palm Sunday filled the screen, his brilliant smile and laughing eyes causing Alison’s heart to flip-flop. “Isn’t he gorgeous?”
Lisa leaned
across the table. Her eyes opened wide and her jaw dropped. “Oh, Ali! You. Aren’t. Kidding! What a babe! I mean, seriously. Does he have any available friends?”
Chapter 19
“Okay. I’ve waited long enough.” Walking barefoot on the beach near the Hotel Del Coronado, Alison brought up the bomb that Lisa had casually dropped in the car on the way to dinner. “What did you mean when you said you and Ben were having a couple of bumps in the road? What’s happened?”
“I can’t believe I said anything. I shouldn’t have. It’s no big deal, just the way things have been for a while with us. Ben’s a borderline workaholic, I’m discovering. And you know I’ve had my mind on Mom since the cancer diagnosis, so I’ve been going home to see her as much as I can. My priorities have shifted.”
“I thought you told me that she’s doing well. That the cancer’s in remission.”
“Yes, thank God. She is doing so well, but spending weekends at home with her, well, let’s just say it’s put a strain on my time with Ben this past year. We FaceTime but it’s not the same. And, well, I’m not sure it’s working with us. He’s so . . .” She ran her hands into her hair and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before she nailed Alison with a bleak stare. “Unadventurous! There. I’ve said it. His idea of excitement is taking me to a psycho thriller movie. And you know I hate those.”
“Oh my,” Alison sighed, dismayed at the tension in her friend’s face. “I thought you really liked this one.”
Lisa walked away. “Let’s talk about something else, okay? Long hours at my job and a boss who’s crazy have made me pretty unadventurous, too.”
Alison nodded and caught up with Lisa. “Yeah, that’s not you. Not by a mile. You’ve got more daring in your pinkie finger than I’ve got in my whole body.” She grimaced. “Maybe it’s time to say goodbye to Ben and see if there’s someone else out there for you.”
“I’ve been thinking about it, in between conference sessions. Trouble is, most guys aren’t looking for more than a fun time. They’re playing the field. Not that I want to get married and settle down. Not yet, at least. I’ve just finished my PhD. I want to see what I can do with it. But it would be nice to find a guy I could envision a future with, someone who made me melt the way you do when you talk about Nick.”
Alison wrapped her arm around Lisa’s shoulders and gave her a sisterly hug. “You will. And now that your mom’s health is better, you can be more pro-active about it. The right guy’s out there, I know.”
“Yeah, maybe someday. So, speaking of the right guy, how do you know Nick’s the one for you? Have you talked about marriage?”
“No, no.” Alison shrugged, accepting that Lisa was done talking about her dating life. “He hasn’t even told me he loves me.”
“Oh. Well. Have you told him?”
“No. I can’t. I mean, it’s just not the right time yet.” Alison stopped walking and threaded both hands into her hair, pulling it away from her face as she huffed out a frustrated sigh. “There’s this other thing I haven’t told you. About Nick.” She hugged her arms to her chest a moment before she flung them wide. “You’ll never believe it. Like, how could I fall for a guy who believes this stuff?”
“What are you talking about? Believes what stuff? He’s not into Scientology, is he?”
“No, of course not.” She took a deep breath, the words exploding out of her. “He’s a Christian!” She took several steps away and came back to Lisa again. “Like, a real one. He prays and everything.”
Lisa chuckled. “Really?”
“Yes. I even went to church with him last Sunday, and could have gone tonight, if you hadn’t provided a good excuse. Nick expects me to go tomorrow night . . . and Sunday, too.” She threw up her hands. “It’s scary. Who in their right mind has anything good to say about the church? And Jesus. Oh my God, don’t get me started. What does anyone really know about him . . . if he even exists?
Lisa’s boisterous laughter interrupted Alison’s rant.
Grabbing her friend by the shoulders, Alison gave Lisa a shake. “Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny. I’m in love with Nick.”
“I can see that.” Lisa wrapped Alison in her arms and hugged her. “I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at, well, to be honest, at what God has done.”
“What do you mean, what God’s done?”
Lisa looked away, then back again. “Alison. I’m a Christian, too. That’s how I met Ben.”
“No. No way. You are not!” At Lisa’s enthusiastic nod, she exhaled sharply. “I don’t get it. What happened? How did you . . . ?” Alison nearly choked. “You were a total party girl all through college. Christians don’t do the things we did.”
“Not if they’re really Christians, yeah.” Lisa started walking along the shoreline again. “Long story short, I completely turned my back on God the minute I got to Berkeley. You know that. But before I went to college, before I met you, I was the girl who was at church every time the door opened. I had a huge crush on the youth pastor, which was part of the reason for my fanaticism I’m sure.” Lisa laughed. “But my own faith was shallow. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian. And then, for a while my parents went off the deep end. All they could talk about was selling everything and going to live in Honduras. It totally wrecked my sense of security and any relationship I’d ever had with God or the church.”
“You never told me your parents wanted to be missionaries.”
“I couldn’t talk about it. I was totally mad at God, and even stopped speaking to my parents for a while. All I could think about was that I was going to be abandoned.”
“Wow. You should have gone into acting instead of science. How could we be so close, Lisa, and yet, you never let on about any of that?”
“It was safer to hide my own turmoil and concentrate on you and your situation. Like, I felt like I’d go to a dark place and not be able to get out again if I started sharing my worries. Anyway, fast forward three years since our college days together, and I finally started going to church again. Mom’s cancer diagnosis had a lot to do with it. I was scared I would lose her. Since I was going home anyway, it just seemed the right thing to do to go with them to church. Turns out I love it. The music, the sermons, and especially the young adult group I’m in. The youth pastor married someone else while I was away, but I forgave him.” Lisa laughed. “And at his suggestion, I’ve spent the last six months reading the Bible and researching the claims of Christianity for myself. Turns out it makes sense to me. When you look at all the evidence.”
“And . . . you . . . like, converted?”
“Yeah, I guess you could call it that. It took me a while, but now I believe there’s an all-knowing, all-powerful God who created us to be in a loving relationship with him.”
Alison’s cell phone buzzed. “Oh, man, hold that thought, okay?” She dug her phone out of her purse and sighed deeply. “Finally!” She held up the phone. “This is Emma, the homeless girl I told you about. She needs to see me tonight.”
“Let’s head back to the Del.” Lisa linked her arm through Alison’s and turned toward the hotel. “But first tell me, what’s your greatest fear about Nick being a Christian?”
Alison looked out at the ocean. “I guess.” She sniffed. “I guess, well, I guess I wonder, how can I ever be good enough for him?”
“Hmmm . . . good question. Now, let me ask you another one. How do you know he’s good enough for you?”
“Are you crazy? Of course he’s good enough. He’s perfect. Well, maybe not perfect, but close. Just what are you getting at, Lisa?”
“It’s just that you’ve hit on something I’ve wrestled with, that’s all. This idea of being good enough. There’s a standard, but what is it? Who gets to measure us against it? You have to admit no one is truly good. We’ve all messed up. Many times. But that’s wher
e I’ve come to see God’s grace. His unmerited favor. It’s nothing we deserve and yet, it was provided by Jesus when he died on the cross.”
Alison shook her head. “The cross. I barely understand what Palm Sunday was about. Holy Week, as Nick calls it, is overwhelming to me. I don’t have any frame of reference. But I’m trying to catch up. I even ordered a Bible from Amazon.” The parking lot came into view and they crossed to Alison’s car.
“Oh, Ali, that’s a great start. Try reading the Gospel of John. It’s my favorite.” Lisa opened the passenger side door and got in.
“Okay, I can do that. I think.” Alison started the car and backed out of the parking space.
“Look, if you really want to show Nick you love him, just be open and honest with him. Ask questions. Listen to his answers. If he’s the almost perfect guy you say he is, he’ll welcome the chance to talk about his faith.”
“You think?” At Lisa’s nod, she said, “Okay . . . I’ll try.” Alison turned onto the Coronado Bridge and headed across the Bay toward the Marriott.
“I know it’s a different way of thinking, but you have to admit, God seems to be doing something in your life. I mean, you’ve suddenly met a lot of Christians.”
“And, you’re telling me that’s God’s doing?”
“Yes.”
“Well . . . maybe. I guess it could be, if God really does exist. Which I guess I’m starting to believe might be possible.” Alison shook her head. “This is crazy confusing. I need more information, I guess.” She huffed out a deep sigh. “At least none of the Christians I’ve met recently are as fanatical as my mother.”
