by Amy Hale
“Jane, I don’t know what is happening to you, but I’ll be here to help you through it. I hope you believe that.”
“I do, Colt. Thank you.”
“Listen, if you’re okay with staying here, you can have my room, and I’ll sleep on the couch. I’m not sure you should be alone right now.”
“I’d appreciate that very much. I don’t feel like being alone.”
Colt stood. “Great. I’ll go get some fresh sheets to put on the bed. I’ll be right back.”
While Colt was in the bedroom, Jane strolled around the living room, looking at family photos and smiling. There were several of Colt and Brett as boys, playing in the mud or proudly standing next to their bicycles. She also noticed a man who had to be their father. The men looked very much like him with only minor differences.
She wondered what her own father looked like. Did she resemble him at all? It made her sad to know she might never remember her parents. She glanced at a collection of photos on another bookshelf and quickly realized there were no women in the pictures.
Did their mother hate getting her picture taken?
“No. She left my dad when Brett was barely a year old, so we don’t have any photos with her.”
Jane felt her cheeks redden once again. She hadn’t realized she’d asked the question out loud. “I’m sorry about your mom. I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”
Colt shrugged. “It wasn’t easy, but we managed. I don’t know what it’s like to have amnesia either, so we’re even.” He gave her a smile and a wink, trying to put her at ease.
It wasn’t a topic he liked to talk about. He remembered his mother, but Brett had been too young to develop those maternal memories that would hit him like a knife to the chest. Colt was thankful for small favors. He knew Brett felt the loss as well, but there was something about knowing things—how her voice had sounded, how her arms had felt, how she’d smelled—that made her leaving them feel like an intense betrayal.
His dad had simply told him, “That’s how women are, son. Just enjoy your time with them for a while, but don’t fall in love. None of them ever stay long, and it’s not worth the heartbreak.”
Colt had taken that to heart while Brett was the exact opposite, planning to marry every girl he dated. It’d drive Colt crazy that Brett couldn’t see that most relationships had been built on shallow, selfish needs. Once those needs were filled, you’d move on. Sure, a few people seemed to make it work for life, but Colt didn’t believe that was the norm.
Jane yawned, shaking Colt out of his thoughts.
“Sorry, uh…your room is ready.” He walked down the narrow hallway with Jane following right behind him, and he opened a door to the left. “You can sleep here. Brett’s room is across the hall, but don’t worry. He won’t bother you.” He pointed to the door at the end of the hall, positioned between the two bedrooms. “That’s the bathroom. Feel free to make yourself at home.” He reached into a closet off to the side and pulled out a blanket and a pillow. “I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”
“Thank you again, Colt. I feel bad that you are giving up your bed.”
“Don’t feel bad. I’m glad to do it. Get some rest.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Good night.”
“Good night, Colt.”
Somewhere around two a.m., Colt was still tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. His large frame didn’t fit well on the small couch. He could feel how lumpy the cushions had become, and he was pretty sure he felt a broken spring in there somewhere. He made a mental note to buy a new couch with his next tax refund.
He had just rolled over for the umpteenth time when he heard a crash coming from one of the bedrooms. He bolted up and ran down the hallway. Just as he opened the door, something else crashed inside the room.
He flipped on the light to see Jane asleep, tossing her head back and forth in the midst of what appeared to be a nightmare. On the floor, he found the remains of a drinking glass. The wall showed evidence of where it had hit and broken. Water ran down the blue paint, making light shiny streaks.
He didn’t see the item that had caused the second noise. When Jane started to thrash faster, her legs moving as if she were running, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. A frame rose into the air and started spinning slowly before gaining momentum. Colt couldn’t believe his eyes. He ducked down just in time, the frame narrowly missing his head before hitting the open door beside him.
Jane still slept fitfully, none of the noises awaking her from her dream.
Colt dashed to the bed and tried to gently wake her.
She moaned. “No! No! Don’t take me in there! It’s scary! I promise, I’ll be good!”
Not knowing how to help her, he pulled her to him and held her tight. “Jane, sweetheart, it’s Colt. I’m here. You’re safe with me. I won’t let them take you.”
He tried to stroke her face while still keeping her still as he murmured in her ear, “I’m here, Jane. I’m here. I’ll always be here.” Then, he kissed her cheek.
Her breathing began to slow, and her movements stopped. Her cheeks were wet from tears, and she still had a frown on her lovely face. Colt loosened his grip and ran a finger across her lips. She relaxed a little more. Then, he gently lowered his face to hers and kissed her. It was a kiss full of tenderness and concern. She went limp in his arms as she sighed, and then she snuggled into his shoulder.
Colt spent the rest of the night with Jane in his arms. Sleep that night would never come to him now, not after what he’d just witnessed. While it certainly freaked him out, he also felt more protective of her than ever.
Somewhere deep inside her subconscious, Jane remembered horrible things. She also had some kind of power that she didn’t realize she possessed. She was on her own, and she’d need him to stick with her while she figured it all out. He could do that. He was sure he could. It wouldn’t be easy, but Colt was determined to help her unlock and banish her demons.
Jane woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon frying. She stretched her arms and legs and then settled back into her pillow, looking up at the ceiling. She had the odd sensation that she hadn’t been alone last night, but she didn’t understand why. She reached over next to her and felt the empty space on the bed. She got the impression that Colt had been there.
She closed her eyes and thought of him. Once again, she saw small sparks of color behind her eyelids. They swirled and danced and then formed waves that seemed to crash over her. With each crash, she felt warmth and happiness. It felt like…love. She wasn’t sure she knew what love even felt like, but she guessed it would have to be very close to this. If it didn’t feel the same, it certainly should.
She smiled and opened her eyes. Then, she promptly dropped about a foot, landing on the bed with loud protests from the old springs.
She sat up in shock. Was I just levitating? How is that possible?
She was still sitting upright in bed, lost in her thoughts, when Colt knocked on the door.
He entered, carrying a tray with eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice. “How are you feeling?”
She tried to smile, still a little stunned from her earlier revelation. “I’m fine. You?”
Colt smiled. “Great. Slept like a rock.”
His eyes said otherwise, but Jane didn’t feel it was polite to point out his lie.
She scooted herself up the bed and sat against the headboard, so he could place the tray in front of her.
He tried to keep his eyes on the tray, but he couldn’t help but notice the flash of her bare thigh peeking out from beneath the sheet. Since she only had the dress she’d worn to the bar, he’d given her one of his T-shirts to sleep in. Right now, it was his favorite shirt.
He mentally slapped himself and stepped back. “How did you sleep?”
His question was normal enough, but the way he’d said it made her suspect that he knew exactly how she’d slept.
Taking a bite of her toast, she studied
him. Then, she placed it back on the plate and crossed her arms. “Okay, what’s up?”
Colt tried to suppress a grin. It seemed she’d regained some of her spunk. “Nothing. Why do you ask?”
“Really, Colt, I can tell when you aren’t being honest with me. Something happened.”
He glanced around the room. After rising for the day, he’d cleaned up all the evidence of the destruction, but he could still see the impossible event in his mind. For once, he was thankful that Brett slept with earplugs. Colt couldn’t imagine explaining this to his brother.
Jane tapped her fingers on the tray, waiting.
He sat on the bed and tried to give his voice a nonchalant tone as he said, “Well, you did have a bad dream last night. Do you remember it?”
She shook her head. “No, not really. I kind of remember feeling upset though.” She frowned. She didn’t understand why she could remember the feeling but not the dream.
“Oh, you were absolutely upset.”
Her eyes snapped to his. “What did I do?” Her voice had a slight tremor that belied her calm exterior.
“Eat breakfast, sweetheart. You need your strength. Then, we’ll talk.”
She forced herself to eat, instinctively knowing that he was right about her needing strength. She feared the conversation that awaited them. There were things about herself that she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
WHEN ALL I KNOW IS UPSIDE DOWN,
I FEAR I’LL NEVER WIN.
Jane had finished her breakfast and was in the kitchen, helping Colt clean up. She was standing at the sink, washing dishes, still wearing his T-shirt. It covered her almost as much as the dress she’d worn last night, but this was infinitely sexier.
Jane was talking to Colt, but he was struggling to concentrate. His eyes kept wandering down her torso to her bare legs. Once he got there, his mind would wander further. While she was talking about finding jobs and getting an apartment, he was thinking of picking her up, so she could wrap those long legs around him while he set her on the counter.
“Colt? Colt!”
He blinked at her.
“Have you heard a word I’ve said?”
“Yeah. You’re thinking about getting an apartment.”
She placed her hands on her hips and sighed. That did nothing to help his concentration. The motion pulled the shirt tighter and allowed him to see more of her curves.
“That was ten minutes ago. I just asked you if we could talk about last night.”
He rubbed a hand over his face and then up through his hair. “Yeah. We should do that.”
He glanced at her legs once more and decided the only way they’d have a decent conversation was if she got dressed. Even that would be pushing it because he’d still have to fight off his mental images.
“Let me get you some sweatpants or something.”
He rushed off to his room and grabbed a pair from his dresser. She’d have to roll them up and cinch up the waist, but at least she’d be covered.
He jogged back into the living room to find Jane sitting on the sofa, one leg crossed over the other.
He swallowed hard. “Here you go. That should keep you warm until you’re ready to change back into your dress.”
She smiled. “Thanks. That’s very thoughtful of you.”
He had to bite back a laugh. No. Thoughtful has little to do with it. This is self-preservation, sweetheart. “You’re welcome.”
She stood and placed her feet inside the waistband, and he turned around to give her privacy. She was innocent and probably had no idea what all this was doing to him. Sadly, that seemed to turn him on even more.
He could no longer admit that he was just being brotherly. He was intensely attracted to her, but if he acted on it, he’d eventually hurt her. He couldn’t let that happen. She was different than the women he knew—in more ways than one. And he needed to discuss that with her.
They both sat on the couch.
Colt placed an arm behind her. “Jane, last night, you had a nightmare. You were thrashing on the bed, saying something about being scared.”
Jane frowned and tried to remember.
He continued, “But that wasn’t the weird part. The more upset you got, the more…” He wasn’t sure how to say it. “Well, things were flying around the room. I was able to calm you, and when you finally relaxed, the chaos stopped.”
Her eyes were wide, and her voice came out in a small squeak as she said, “Colt…what’s wrong with me?”
He could see the fear on her face. He pulled her to him, hugging her. “I don’t know, Jane. But I promised you that I’d help, and I never go back on a promise.”
She pulled back and looked up to his face, tears on her cheeks. “But…when you promised, you didn’t know I was…”
“Special?” he asked.
“No…a freak.”
He shook his head. “What you are is amazing. It’s overwhelming right now, but we’ll figure it out.”
Jane tried to smile and believe that Colt was right.
When he used one of his thumbs to wipe away her tears, she felt that warm wave rushing over her again. This time, she smiled for real.
Later that afternoon, Jane was back in her room at the shelter, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, looking at the want ads in the newspaper.
Shortly after Jane had gotten back, Carol had stopped by to see how she was feeling. Jane had kept her explanation of the night before very vague, leaving out the bits about flying glass and bad dreams.
Colt had promised to take Jane to dinner after he ran some errands, so while she waited, she was searching for possible job opportunities. She couldn’t brag about a lot of skills or past experience, so that was going to make it difficult to get a job. She didn’t even have a Social Security number at this point.
She wadded the paper up in a ball and tossed it into a metal waste bin near her bed. Then, she angrily stared at it, the frustration of her entire situation building inside her. In one blinding moment, the newspaper went from a mangled ball to a small inferno. She jumped from the bed and tried to think of a way to put it out before the fire alarms sounded.
She didn’t think fast enough. The alarm and sprinkler system went off at the same time, quickly drenching everything. Instead of exiting the building like everyone else, she stayed put and cried. The despair seemed to swallow her. She wondered if she could make herself disappear. She hoped that if she thought about it hard enough, she could just turn herself to ash and blow away in the wind. She was sure the whole world would be better off without her. So, she sat on the bed and let the sadness continue to wrap around her, focusing on the shades of gray and brown behind her eyelids.
To her humiliation, this was how the firemen found her—sitting on her bed with her eyes closed as if she were meditating while the sprinklers completely soaked her. They carried her out to the EMTs and wrapped her in a blanket. Everyone was staring at her.
She was starting to feel paranoid. Do they know it was my fault? Do they know I started the fire?
Shortly after, Colt pulled up in his truck. He noticed the emergency vehicles and leaped out of the driver’s seat, frantically looking around. Then, he spotted her. He jogged over to the ambulance. Just his luck, Lance was on duty. He was talking to Jane and rubbing her arms covered with the blanket. Colt instantly wanted to hit him. Usually, Lance had to open his mouth and let a few words fall out before Colt would be prepped for a fight. But seeing Lance touching Jane was more than enough to set off Colt’s ire.
Jane looked up. “Colt!” Her cheeks blushed a bright pink, and she looked down at her hands.
He immediately wondered if she was embarrassed that he’d caught her talking to Lance. Does she like him? Well, that’d be Karma coming back to roost.
During their senior year, Colt had been guilty of stealing a few girls away from Lance. Colt hadn’t tried to make it happen. It just had, and Lance had hated him ever since.
Colt tried to clear the disturbing thought
of Jane and Lance as a couple. “Are you okay? What happened here?”
Lance didn’t give her a chance to answer. “Little fire. No big deal. I’m taking care of her.”
Colt heard the challenge in Lance’s words. He was staking his claim. But Colt could never resist a challenge, and when it came to Jane, he wasn’t about to let Lance win.
“I’m glad you could help, Lance. I’ll take it from here.”
Lance clenched his fists. “I need to finish my examination and make sure she doesn’t need further medical assistance.”
Colt took a step forward and looked down at him. Lance stood his ground.
Jane watched them and was completely confused about what she was witnessing. “I’m fine. Really. I’m just wet…and a little embarrassed.”
Colt took the two short steps needed to reach her, and then pulled her up and to him. “Are you really okay?” The concern in his eyes was evident.
“Yes. I’m really okay.”
He breathed out a sigh of relief and then kissed the top of her head.
She stepped back and wrapped the blanket around her tightly. “Thank you for your help, Lance. I should get changed, so Colt and I can go.”
Lance looked temporarily defeated, but then his determination returned. “Call me if you need me. Anytime, Jane. I mean it.”
Colt moved toward Lance, but Jane stood between them.
She placed a hand on Lance’s arm. “Thank you, Lance. I appreciate that.” She gave him a smile and turned toward Colt. “Can we go now?”
He glared at Lance over the top of her head as he nodded. “Sure. My truck is over here.”
She handed the blanket back to Lance and walked away with Colt. “I would get some dry clothes, but I’m not sure I have any now.”
“I can take you to my house. You can wear my sweats again while we toss your clothes in the dryer.”
She thought that was a good idea, and they started to walk to the truck when Mrs. Jameson—another of the shelter administrators—came running up to them with a stern frown on her face.
“Miss Jane! I must talk to you now!”
