by E. H. Lyon
I grab Jess for one more deep kiss. Parting and letting our lips slowly trace each other’s face. Because this is the woman I go home to every night and I don’t want that to ever stop.
Molly looks at me with a grin. She’s taking notes for me from our evening meeting. “So, things going well for you and Jess?”
I look at her with knowing eyes and I can’t deny anything with Molly. “Actually, yeah. I think we’re heading somewhere. But with Sam around, it is also hard to really make time for just me and her too. I’ve never had to navigate a relationship with a baby,” I admit.
Molly quickly closes her notebook and studies me. “It isn’t easy, the stakes are higher. But I don’t think that bothers you. So, what is?” she asks, knowing I may have a small frustration lingering somewhere in me. An idea comes to me.
“Can you do me a favor? Jess is going to come with me on my trip up north.”
“Something tells me that she doesn’t know this?” Molly raises an eyebrow, but her face looks like she approves.
“No, no she doesn’t. But I think she and I need a night or two without interruptions from Sam.” So we could talk about our future… after a few rounds in bed.
“Good plan. My guess is you want somewhere to stay a bit more romantic than your usual places?” Molly knows me too well.
“I leave it with you. Let’s just get it planned. I will check with Max when Jess has a clear schedule.”
Molly points to her ring finger. “And what about…?”
I let out a laugh. “Slow it down, Molly… it will come one day.” Or it could be now. Because Jess has me thinking and wanting everything. If she gives me even a hint she would be interested, then I would drop to my knees with a ring.
“By the way. Did you manage to arrange everything for Melanie?” I ask.
Molly nods.
“Great. I will see her then at 2,” I confirm.
“Jess still doesn’t know about her?” Molly asks, and I reluctantly shake my head no.
“May want to fill Jess in on the other woman in your life,” Molly suggests with her eyes giving me a disapproving look. After Molly leaves, I let out a breath as she is right. I need to tell Jess.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jess
I quickly make my way to the reception desk at the hotel on Fifth. Leo is in meetings all afternoon, and I had a bunch of errands, so just popping in before I need to pick up Sam from daycare.
The friendly receptionist who looks like a college kid greets me. “Hello, what can I do for you today?”
I grab my phone. “Yeah, I think I lost an earring here a few weeks ago. Your manager e-mailed me that they found it.” I’m scrolling my screen to find the e-mail.
“Sure. What name was the reservation under?”
I have to smile to myself as I think about that night. Turning to her, I answer. “Leo Hart.”
“Let me look in the system.”
I stand there patiently as I think about later this evening when I plan on surprising Leo with a bottle of wine and the lingerie I bought on my birthday. I have news to share with him that I think he will like. He has been so patient with me and hasn’t pressed about his new house. In fact, we haven’t really spoken about it and are both well aware we don’t get an award for talking like two responsible adults. But it doesn’t matter, because I know the right decision. We can’t live apart and Sam’s toys are taking over the place. More importantly, I enjoy living together too much. Whether it’s my house or his new house, we need to find what works for us.
And I need to tell Leo.
My daze is broken when I hear a contagious laugh of a woman in the lobby. These things normally don’t bother me, but this beautiful young, tall and slender woman with blond hair and blue eyes is stunning. She doesn’t notice me nor does the man who is giving her a hug. My heart drops as I notice the back of the man, and that brown hair and expensive suit are too familiar.
Too familiar because it is Leo.
My body can’t breathe, and I feel weak.
My feeling only gets worse when I overhear part of the conversation.
“It’s good to see you again,” Leo says, and I swear I can hear a smile on his face.
“I’m happy we’re meeting again,” the blond smiles.
“The room is okay? We can do dinner at six?” he asks.
“Sounds good.”
My stomach feels like it wants to throw up and my heart is cracked. I’m interrupted by the receptionist. “Ma’am, I will be right back. The earring is in the safe.”
“It’s—it’s okay. I need to go.” I manage to muster the words, getting out of there before Leo has a chance to see me.
Needing to escape, I hurry to my car. Thinking the worst, I hit the steering wheel with my hand and let out a few tears. Before turning the engine on and regretting my musical choice from earlier in the day. Because damn it, the moody music is not helping me right now.
Taking some deep breaths, I try to collect myself as I need to pick Sam up and then possibly throw anything Leo-related at home to the curb. I hope I have this all wrong, but a hotel and a blond is the Leo I used to know.
Used to know.
Did I really think he would change? Is this what he does on his business trips? Maybe he just wanted to ‘try’ with me to ensure he could be with Sam. Why does my mind have the ability to go into a million directions when he’s involved?
Because it concerns the one man that makes me feel like I can’t breathe without him, that’s why.
Being the super mom I am, I arrive collected and calm to pick Sam up. Before I leave the building—his office building—I hear Molly yell my name.
“Jessica, wait,” she quickly catches up to me.
“Not a good time, Molly,” I’m honest.
“Why, because you saw Leo’s 2 o’clock appointment?” she asks so wisely, and it strikes me.
“How did you kn—’’
“Look at your phone.”
I look at my phone in my hand and see I have seventeen missed calls from Leo.
“The hotel recognized Leo after you left and explained that you didn’t collect your earring. Obviously, Leo connected the dots that you saw him. He’s been trying to phone you. I think you should go back,” she says sincerely. But it is also her job to defend him on anything and everything.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You have it all wrong. Really,” she pleads.
I look at Sam who I’m holding on my hip.
“How could I possibly have this wrong? Leo told me he was in a meeting all afternoon.” I let out a huff.
Molly bites her lip and considers what to words to choose. “Look, it isn’t my place to say. But please go see him. You drive this man crazy. I’ve never seen him like this.” She puts her hands together like she is pleading.
I slowly nod in agreement. “I need an hour to calm down.”
He is Sam’s father, so whatever it is, I need to be civil with him on some level as we have a lifetime ahead as parents together. Somewhere in me a little voice is yelling at me to go find Leo and that it will be okay. But I’m not sure if it’s wishful thinking, because my heart hurts.
I sit at Smokey Java’s with cake, lots of cake, with Sam sitting in a highchair. Harper and Abby look on concerned. I phoned them in the car and thought a pit stop to think is probably the safest option for my mind.
“Sorry. But he wouldn’t cheat on you. I barely know the guy and even I know the guy stares at you like you’re his only meal.” Harper always speaks her mind and without the realization the thoughts it sends to our heads.
“Jess, maybe it’s all a ridiculous misunderstanding,” Abby tries to justify as she takes a bite of my carrot cake.
“I am going to have to agree,” Harper adds as she bites into her brownie.
“He was with someone else, at a hotel, when he told me he was at a meeting. The odds aren’t looking great,” I hiccup.
“But Molly said
to find him. Why would she send you to him if he was cheating?” Abby gently touches my arm. “Come on, deep down do you really think he’s cheating?”
I look at her and deep down, I know the answer. “No, I don’t.” I sigh. “But it just means he hasn’t communicated something to me. Again. Ugh,” I grumble. “If we don’t even have the basics of communication figured out then how can I jump all in with him?” I take my plate of cake back from Abby. I need sugar therapy.
“Okay. So you do want to jump all in with him?” Abby asks.
I let out a big exhale. “Finally, when I thought everything was behind us and something has to happen. Because, yes, I want to jump all in with him.”
“Sorry. But maybe it really is nothing and you’re just looking for a reason to push him away because you are making a big decision for a long-term future.” Harper takes a sip of her coffee.
I look at them and let it sink in.
“I can’t afford to think everything is a perfect misunderstanding. Not when Sam can get hurt,” I try to justify my actions. “I don’t always think clearly when Leo is around. It’s like since we slept together the first time, something takes over my mind. He blinds all my judgment. Maybe I’m still in hormone overload from having a baby. Maybe it draws me in to want to be with the father of my child… or maybe it has always been him. But it can’t be, if he doesn’t tell me things,” I admit, and tears well.
Thankfully Harper is busy playing with Sam, while I look away and Abby catches my tears with a tissue.
“If it’s always been him, Jess, then maybe you shouldn’t judge until you talk to him,” Abby speaks softly as she rubs my back. “Why are you making it so hard for yourself? You can’t keep using Sam as an excuse. His mother has to be happy too, and it seems like it is clear what and who will make you happy,” Abby offers her words of wisdom.
“If there were no Sam, then there probably wouldn’t even be a possibility of us,” I admit and take a big bite of cake through tears, but I know it’s a lie.
Abby laughs. “You are either blind or in massive denial. That possibility was always there. You both were just stubborn.” I look at her confused. “Come on, Jess. None of us were that surprised to learn it’s Leo who is Sam’s father. Remember? We all had a bet on you both, because we know it’s a sure thing. You both always had this crazy connection between each other. We were all waiting. Just like it isn’t surprising that Leo meddled with your work due to the idea of another man getting close to you. You guys have had eyes for each other always. Just had the most infuriating way of showing it, taking us all down in the process,” she muses with delight.
I know she’s right, which makes it all the harder.
“You have no way to predict what may or may not be,” Harper says, keeping Sam distracted with a book. “You both hooked up not knowing it would lead to a baby, yet you still hooked up, and it led to a great kid who I don’t think you regret. You never know. None of us know. We just go with the flow and try when we can. So why waste your time trying to fight it or second-guess it? Just go to him and talk, then you will never be left wondering what is actually going on.”
“Have you always been this wise?” I jokingly ask. Harper smiles in delight.
“She is wise. Oh, wise one,” Abby makes her hands bow down to Harper. I let out a sigh.
Just then Avery arrives at our table; she was in the back of the bakery with Nate as he was helping her with a delivery of flour.
“Are you sure nothing is going on between you and Lucas’s hockey brother?” Harper asks.
Avery laughs. “God no, I am more a suit type of gal. My last serious boyfriend was an attorney so that should explain my type. Nate most definitely isn’t that. Anything else for you ladies?”
“Yeah, a reality check for Jess,” Abby grins.
“Oh, let me see if I can whip one of those up.” Avery brings a finger to her chin and pretends to think. “Anything to do with a certain gentleman who came in here to ask that I ensure I bake Sam his favorite baby muffins so you don’t have to worry about breakfast, and brownies for Sam’s mother to snack on while Leo goes away on a business trip?”
I look at Avery. “He probably did that to try and charm his way out of this one.”
She shakes her head. “Hmm, this was yesterday. I’m supposed to deliver it to you when he goes away.”
“I thought that’s something his secretary would do.” My forehead forms lines. Leo and his charming ways.
“Well, not this time. He came in personally to ask me for the favor. And the way your name rolled off his tongue, matched with his broody grin, tells me that he isn’t a man to let you off easy.” She smiles at me with flashing eyes.
Abby and Harper look at me with wide smiles.
“What am I doing?” I bury my head in my arms on the table.
“You know what you need to do, so why are you here? Go talk then bang it out against a wall,” Harper grins.
I look at them and nod as I take in what they’re saying. I owe it to my family and myself to listen to Leo. Doesn’t mean I have to accept what I hear.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jess
Deciding to put on my big girl shoes, I returned Leo’s text to meet him in the lobby of the hotel with Sam. When I arrive, I see Leo is waiting, leaning against a wall with his hands in his pocket and ankles crossed.
Why does this man have to melt me away even when I have fury capable of setting off volcanos? I walk towards him with Sam in my arms as Leo wiggles his phone at me.
“You didn’t answer my calls,” he says, disappointed.
“You didn’t tell me about your 2 o’clock,” I challenge. His audacity fuels my fury.
“So, you think the worst of me?” He’s still disheartened, and I am feeling equally the same. I shake my head no, but it isn’t entirely true.
“I don’t know what to think,” I admit. “I saw you with a gorgeous woman and hear you talking about being together again, a room and dinner—”
He interrupts. “I could see how that may look bad if you don’t have all the facts,” he admits as he scratches his cheek. “But I would hope we’re at a place where you would know that I’m not the guy you thought I was,” he answers somberly.
“I would hope we are at a place where you would know that I don’t want to get hurt and communication is everything,” I challenge again.
We will go in circles because that is what we do. He steps closer to me and brings his hand out to touch my face, but I step back.
“You’re right. I should have told you.”
“What exactly?” Because my mind still doesn’t understand.
He scratches his chin. “Remember how I told you a few weeks ago that there would be one more surprise that I couldn’t tell you?”
Oh no. My heart sinks. How could I forget about that? He told me to trust him and now I feel like this is related.
“You did. But how does it involve a beautiful young woman?” I draw a blank as I’m lost.
“I didn’t tell you everything about my argument with James before I left for a while.”
He steps forward again, and this time cups my cheek as he looks into my eyes. “I told you James had an affair, but I didn’t mention that he also had a child. My mother and I didn’t know. She found out, and that was why she filed for divorce before she passed away. James doesn’t really have a relationship with his daughter. Still, when I was away, I searched for her and I met her while she was doing volunteer work in South America, and we have had contact since.”
“But you’re the only child,” I repeat out loud.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too, until everything happened between my parents.”
I put my hand on his. I feel for him. He was close with his mother and that is a big shock to find out that suddenly you have a sibling. But I can’t say anything.
“Melanie, my sister. She’s here. That is who you saw,” he says with a small line turning on his mouth as if he knows the wei
ght is lifting in this very moment for me.
I look at him a little puzzled. I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me.
“I don’t know how to navigate these waters. James doesn’t really speak to her and she was coming to town. Melanie also doesn’t really acknowledge him yet. I wanted to respect her choice to keep her new family private until she said she was ready, she asked me not to tell anyone and I wanted to respect that. I mean, she wasn’t exactly throwing a party when she found out that she has a brother, and I didn’t want to give her more reason not to change her mind. Plus, nobody really knows about her.”
“I am not nobody… or so I thought.”
Our eyes hold.
He takes Sam from my hip. “You most certainly are not.”
We take a moment to look at each other, study each other.
“Jess, I am not gaining points on communication, I know. But trust me when I say, there is nothing left for me to mess up. I take full responsibility for my ridiculous failed play for you a few years ago when I told Felix to leave you alone. I admit I bought a house without discussing it with you, which knocked us back a step or two.” His eyes try to catch mine and he has that gentle grin.
He continues, “If I had a way for my father to have clued me in about the sister factor many years ago then I would have taken it. Because everything that happened to make me leave feels like it’s his fault, and if it hadn’t happened then I would have stayed. But believe me when I say that I never ever want you to be hurt by me, I always felt that way. And if I didn’t have Sam about to puke on my expensive suit then I swear I would be on my knees begging you to understand and forgive me for my communication flaws.”
I listen to him and my lips tug at his words. My mind is a carousel, and I don’t know where to get off or if I should keep spinning.
There is silence as we both take in the tense air between us. I look around the lobby and remember where we are. Yet a flicker goes through me as I also remember that this is the place where we had an exceptional evening together when my heart felt alive.
