by Katy Kaylee
“I didn’t see her pulling away,” Phillip replied. “She seemed to be rather into it.” He looked at me. “Was this a non-consensual situation?”
I couldn’t see Alex, since he was behind me, but I could practically feel his gaze boring into the back of my head, pleading with me. Say yes, say yes, say yes. But I wasn’t going to lie and paint Alex as the kind of person who kissed someone without their permission. I wasn’t going to put that stain on his character.
“No, it wasn’t,” I said. “It was consensual.” And far from the first time, I thought but didn’t add. I was already in a hole, there was no reason to grab a shovel and start digging.
“Claire knows the rules,” Phillip said, looking over my shoulder at Alex. “Fraternizing this way is strictly forbidden by hospital policy.”
Alex released my wrist. “What’s going on, then? What’s going to happen to her?”
Phillip hesitated, then seemed to realize that this conversation was going to happen whether he wanted it to happen or not, so he stepped forward into the room and closed the door behind him. The chart that he’d dropped he left outside on the floor.
“What Claire’s done is grounds for immediate termination,” Phillip began, but Alex wasn’t having any of that. The noise of inarticulate rage that he made was actually kind of satisfying to hear and also kind of hot. I could defend myself, but it warmed me to know that Alex wanted to defend me, that he wanted to support me and stand up on my behalf.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he snapped. “On the grounds of a single kiss you’re going to fire the best doctor that you have? No warning, no slap on the wrist, nothing?”
I had to agree with him. As far as Phillip knew, we had only kissed just the once, just now. If both Alex and I kept our silence about the rest—I trusted that Alex would, and I most definitely would—then all that Phillip had on us was this one kiss. Not even Pippa knew the full story. We could play it off as a one time thing, I’d get a slap on the wrist, and I would probably not be allowed to work with Tabitha for the last week or so that she was here.
Phillip immediately firing me? That was a low blow. I couldn’t help but feel like there was personal feeling behind that decision.
“Claire knows the rules—”
“Of course she does, and I’m saying I kissed her. What, you want to fire your best doctor over one kiss that the other person initiated? You know what I think this is?” Alex took a couple of steps towards Phillip, radiating anger, and oh God, I should not have found that as hot as I did. “I think that you’re jealous. I think that this is jealousy. You want Claire and you can’t have her, and now that someone else is supposedly moving in on your turf, you can’t stand it. That’s the only possible reason you’re being so unfair to her right now.”
Phillip glared at him. Anger, ugly anger that I had never seen from him before was bubbling up in his eyes. Both men were obviously upset but I knew which one of them I felt safe with, and it definitely wasn’t Phillip. “You need to learn when to quit, asshole.”
“I will bury you, and you career,” Alex growled, “if you don’t keep Claire on staff. How’s that for quitting, hmm?”
He could do it. I knew that he could. There was nothing that Alex couldn’t do, with the resources, connections, and money that he had at his disposal, and Phillip had to know that. I was suddenly immensely grateful that Alex was a good person, and I knew that I wouldn’t have to worry about him abusing that power, because holy shit.
Also that should not have been turning me on as much as it did, and yet, here we were. Watching Alex get all growly and self-righteous like that was a major turn on.
“If you—” Phillip said, starting forward, but I darted ahead of him and got between the two of them. I wasn’t sure if this would escalate all the way to a physical fight, but I wasn’t going to just wait it out and see.
“Stop it,” I hissed, putting my hands up and glaring at Phillip. Look, maybe Alex having a temper about this was or wasn’t the best idea but Alex was right. This was unfair of Phillip to jump immediately to termination. “You’re being unfair, Phillip, and you know it. What were you always telling me about how I was taking the rules too seriously, about how I needed to relax and that things could be flexible? Now you’re not even going to report me to the board, you’re just going to straight-up fire me? Right here and now? What kind of bullshit is this?”
I grabbed my badge off of my lab coat and handed it to him. “I’ve been suspecting that you wanted more from me than just friendship. I feel tricked and lied to. So bending or working around the rules is okay only if it’s you? So that you can have me? I trusted you. And now I feel like this whole time you were trying to set up a trap for me. You don’t have to worry about firing me. I’m resigning.”
Phillip gaped at me, but I had known him for years now, and I could read the shame in his eyes. I was right. Well, Alex had been right, first. He’d seen Phillip’s motives before I had. I still felt a bit like a naïve fool for not realizing it all so much sooner. But at the same time I wouldn’t apologize or feel bad for believing the best about someone who had mentored me, someone who was my friend. Sue me for thinking the best of him, I guess. The fucker.
Phillip was still a good person with a lot of good qualities. I could only hope that he learned from this.
But me? I was moving on and not looking back. I’d worry about finding a new job later. Right now, I was riding the high of righteous indignation. I turned and stormed out of the room, walking down the hallway.
Time to pack up my things, I guess. I placed a few calls in administration and organized my office so that I could easily pack things up. Now that I had officially resigned and put the wheels in motion, Phillip couldn’t call and fire me, he couldn’t put that stain on my record. I was all set to go.
Once that was dealt with, I just took off my coat and I… I left. Of course, I would be back. I had to transfer patients over to other doctors, I had to make sure all transitions were smooth, the hospital would want me to stick around to finish up with a few patients like Tabitha who were close to the finish line… it wasn’t just a self-righteous stomp out the door and then finished forever.
But I sure did feel righteous.
I had an excellent track record. I could get a job almost anywhere. And I would get it somewhere I could be with Alex, if that was what he wanted, because I wasn’t going to let myself let him go.
As I was walking out the front doors, though, I felt a hand grab me again, just like before. I knew that hand.
I turned, looking up at Alex. The poor man looked a wreck.
“Claire, I’m so sorry.” He took me gently by the shoulders. “That was all my fault, I should’ve remembered…”
“I asked you to kiss me,” I pointed out.
“I should have closed the door…”
My fingers gently covered his mouth before I could even consciously think about it. “Alex, really, it’s okay. I knew the risks when we started our relationship. I knew how this might go. And it was all worth it.”
He stared at me. “It… it was?”
I nodded, feeling a grin creep over my face. “I promise you, it was. It was completely worth it.”
Alex stared at me for a moment. “Are… are you sure?”
I nodded. I had always been sure of my career in life, and I’d worked hard to get where I was. I would be able to get a job somewhere else. I wasn’t worried about it, not at all. The only thing I was worried about was keeping Alex with me.
“This was worth it,” I promised him.
Alex stared at me for a moment more, and then kissed me—ferociously, consuming me, and I clung to him. We hadn’t touched, hadn’t even really talked, since the whole debacle with my father and now it felt like I had to have him or I wouldn’t even be able to breathe.
“Come home with me,” he said, taking my hands and tugging me along, and well, I couldn’t have said no to that. The idea didn’t even cross my mind.
Alex picked me up and whirled me around the room and I laughed, taking his face into my hands and kissing him for all that I was worth, feeling his smile against mine, his tongue sliding in and out leisurely, easily, like he knew exactly how. And he did—he knew me, better than anyone else, more intimately than anyone else.
“I can’t believe you,” he whispered, kissing me frantically in between his words. “You’re a fucking miracle, I hope you know that, a fucking miracle, Claire Montague—”
“For resigning?” I laughed as he tossed me playfully onto the bed.
“For standing up for yourself, for believing in your worth, for being brave, fuck yes,” Alex replied, climbing into bed after me and pulling my legs apart.
He kissed up my stomach, pushing my shirt up as he went until he got to my breasts, practically ripping off my bra so that he could lick at my nipples, pinch them, suck them. I cried out, not bothering to keep quiet—who cared if the neighbors heard us having sex in the middle of a random afternoon? I ground my hips against him, feeling myself getting wetter with each moment, and feeling Alex getting harder in return.
When at last he got up to my neck, planting delicate, teasing kisses, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I pushed him back so that I could undo my pants and rip his clothes off afterwards, the two of us making out hot and dizzy on the bed, naked limbs entangled, grinding and rubbing against each other until I thought that I was going to die.
If I did die this way, I’d die happy.
“How do you want this?” he whispered, kissing the corner of my mouth and tugging at my hair. “Hmmm? You want me on top of you? Is that what you want, baby?”
I grinned wickedly, feeling powerful, and then pushed him back one more time so that I could turn over and get on all fours.
“Like this,” I told him.
Alex’s groan was all the answer I needed.
33
Alex
As I slid into Claire from behind, draping myself over her, I thought, how the fuck did I get to be so lucky?
Maybe I would never know. But fuck if I wasn’t going to take advantage of it. She was encouraging me all along the way as I slid into her, giving little gasps and moans and breathy exclamations of my voice. I could practically feel myself going cross-eyed as I fucked her, felt how tight and perfect she was. Fuck, we’d done this so many times now and yet, each time it felt almost like the first in how overwhelming it was, how good it was. I never wanted to leave this bed, or leave her, ever again.
I hadn’t known that it was possible to love someone this much, or for that love to make the sex that much better, and yet here we were. We were joining together and doing something that I’d done thousands of times in my life, and yet, it felt new. She made it all feel new.
“Alex,” she moaned, again and again, music to my ears. I adjusted my angle until I found the one that made her literally scream, throwing her head back, her toes curling, and then I kept at it. Once I slid my hand around to thumb at her clit she wouldn’t stop thrashing, clenching around me. My name was like a prayer on her lips and I didn’t think I’d ever heard a sweeter sound.
“Yes,” I encouraged her as she sobbed, falling apart in my arms over and over. “Yes, yes, yes, Claire, yes—”
My legs gave out a little as I came, like getting sucker punched, like getting run over, my vision whiting out. It felt unbelievable. She was unbelievable.
We collapsed together, the both of us spent, and for a while we just lay in each other’s arms, unable to move. I couldn’t feel my goddamn legs for a few minutes, that was how much the sex knocked me out. Goddamn.
This was what I’d been missing from all of my previous partners. Not just the slow, romantic sex like what we’d had at my home in Malibu, but the fun, relaxed sex like this where we just knew each other’s bodies so well, it all came together, natural and fun and relaxing.
I traced lazy patterns up and down Claire’s spine. “I’m sorry that I cost you your job. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you…”
Claire shook her head. “So long as you think it was worth it, then I’m okay.”
I leaned down, kissing along her shoulder. “Of course it was worth it. You’re worth everything.” I paused. Swallowed. Took a deep breath. It was crazy, how something could slip out so easily around others but the moment that I had to say it to her, to the object of my affection, I felt like I was about to climb Mount Everest. “I love you, Claire.”
Claire went stiff, and turned so that she was on her side, staring up at me.
I plowed forward. “You’re the only woman for me. You’re the only person I’ve ever felt this way about, the only person I’ve ever wanted to pursue a relationship with. I love you, and I don’t think I could ever let you go.”
Claire inhaled, and I could see her shaking a little. “That’s—that’s good, because I have a secret to tell you.”
“Is it that you were a virgin before me? Because I hate to tell you but it’s a little late to reveal that now…”
“Oh my God.” Claire playfully smacked my shoulder. “You are the worst, you know that?”
I grinned at her. “But you love me.”
“I do.” Claire’s face softened. “I do love you, Alex, so much, and I… I hope that nothing changes about that, between us, when I tell you that—that I’m—I’m pregnant.”
My heart stopped.
My jaw also dropped open, not the best look for me, I admit, but I was in shock. She was—it made sense, of course, we’d been kind of lazy about the condoms thing, but Claire had also mentioned she was on the Depro shot so I hadn’t worried about it—was she really…
“It’s okay if you… if you don’t… with Tabitha and everything…” Claire started, her face beginning to shut down.
I grabbed her and pulled her under me, kissing her. “I love you, I love you, and I already love the little sprout we’re going to have.”
“You—really?” Claire pulled away just enough to stare up at me, hope shining in her eyes.
“Yes,” I promised. “I’m excited to raise a family with you. I—I was worried that things were a little fast, with how much I—but if you want this to be permanent, if you want to raise a child together, then I want that too. I want Tabitha to have a sibling, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll have me.”
“You know that sounds an awful lot like a marriage proposal,” Claire noted, trying for humor but sounding breathless instead.
“It is, if you want it to be.”
Claire just kissed me again, but that was answer enough.
Epilogue: Claire
It had taken a year to prepare this damn ceremony, and I wanted everything to go right.
Pippa snatched the phone out of my hand, clearly not impressed with my last-minute checking of everything. “The caterer is here setting up, you can breathe for a minute.”
“Are the—”
“Flower arrangements here for the reception? Yes.”
“And—”
“The band will arrive in half an hour to start setting up while we’re finishing the ceremony.”
I stared at her, feeling the knot of worry in my chest loosen a little. “You really are my best friend.”
“I’m so glad to hear it, seeing as you made me your maid of honor and all that.” Pippa hugged me. “You need to learn to take the day off every once in a while, honey, I’m the one in charge of making sure your wedding goes smoothly. You’re supposed to just relax and show off how disgustingly in love you are.”
“Okay but what about—” I made to take my phone back, but Pippa held it up out of my reach.
“No way. The hospital is going to be fine without you.”
“We’re short staffed, you know
that, and Daniel is at an iffy stage in his levels—”
Pippa shushed me. “You deserve to not have to worry on one day, one day out of the entire year. Okay? Daniel is going to be fine. There are plenty of wonderful doctors who are on call today who will look after him if anything goes wrong.”
Daniel was one of my patients at Cedars-Sinai, where I had gotten a job after moving to LA to be with Alex. I loved the atmosphere there, and I loved my new coworkers. Pippa was in town just for the wedding, staying with us for a few weeks to enjoy the beach and the weather, but I was hoping to persuade her to move here permanently and work with me at Cedars-Sinai.
Pippa said she was considering it. Every day that she spent here, though, soaking up the atmosphere, I knew she was drawing closer to saying yes. Having my best friend out here with me would be the final puzzle piece that made my life complete.
Well, that and what I was about to do today: marry Alex.
Pippa took the veil and helped me to set it. “You look like a vision,” she cooed. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”
“Thanks.” I smiled nervously. Having a private wedding was nearly impossible when you were as high-profile as Alex, and we’d done our best, but there was still a crowd of people waiting just a short walk down the hill, on the beach. Alex’s friends, my friends, and then of course my parents.
Mom wasn’t exactly pleased with my choice in life partner but that was her problem to deal with, not mine. She wasn’t thrilled that I was getting close with Dad, either, but she had known a losing battle when she’d seen one and after some frustrated arguments between the three of us, things were getting better. I wanted a relationship with both of my parents, as imperfect as they were, and as much as my mom had messed up. I still loved her. We were just going to make sure that our relationship was healthier from here on out.
“I’ve never been a fan of crowds,” I admitted.
“I know, honey.” Pippa picked up Sarah and passed her to me. “But it’s going to be fine.”
