What is wrong with me?
An unsettling feeling runs through me and I take a gulp of my drink.
It’s just sex. It has to be.
I rub a hand across my face. Maybe, it’s because I haven’t been with a woman in a while. After ending things with my ex-girlfriend, I haven’t indulged lately. Britney’s clinginess put me off women for some time. But I think I’m ready again for nights of nonstop passionate lovemaking.
A frown creases my forehead as I place Hope and Britney side by side. Britney is tall, blonde-haired with a face that will make men turn and stare and a sexy body that can grace the covers of magazines. Hope is the total opposite. Yet I’d rather be with Hope than Britney.
Amazing. Hope is the first curvy woman that has turned my head. Maybe I secretly like them curvy but didn’t know because most times, it’s women with Britney’s physique who usually come my way and throw themselves at me.
The limousine pulls up in front of my penthouse apartment. The driver gets out and pulls the car door open, and I exit the vehicle. It’s still snowing, so I hastily climb up the steps. I nod at the people in the lobby and head straight for the elevators. Silent Night sounds in the air from the speakers, giving me a nostalgic feeling.
The concierge, dressed in a red and gold uniform, presses the elevator buttons. I slide in after giving him a tip. I reach my penthouse suite and as typical, my security team combs the place before I go in. It’s a necessary procedure I have to take after Britney went all cuckoo on me.
Tired after the hectic day, I walk down the hallway to my bedroom and remove my clothes. Swiftly, I enter my state-of-the-art bathroom and take a warm shower. Toweling my wet hair, I return to the room and my gaze falls on my king-sized bed. I smile as I recall the erotic dream I woke up from that morning.
The dream was so vivid I thought it was real. I dreamed that Hope entered my room in the sexiest lingerie I had ever seen. The black lace fabric left nothing to the imagination. Even Victoria’s Secret would be envious of it. She walked seductively toward the bed and performed an erotic strip dance that left me rock hard and aching for fulfillment. As soon as I rose from the bed to plunge myself into her honeyed depths, I woke up to my chagrin.
Finding I’m alone in the room with a painfully hard erection, I cursed savagely. It’s of little wonder that I haven’t been able to resist the urge of smooching with Hope in the office. The dream stayed with me all day.
Clad in my black boxers, I shake my head and climb into bed. The more I think about Hope, the more I realize that I like her. Other than the fact that I want to bed her, I find her interesting. Hope is smart, courteous and very efficient in her work. I’m yet to find any error in her work. I imagine the affair I’m about to have with her and a smile curving my lips. It’s chauvinistic of me not to be bothered that she hasn’t actually agreed to my proposal. But I want her so badly, I don’t care.
I know it’s absolutely crazy getting involved with one of my PAs, but it can’t be helped. I want her, and I know she wants me. I saw the desire in her eyes when I kissed her. Besides, she would have slapped me silly if she hadn’t enjoyed the kiss and would have threatened to file sexual assault charges against me.
No, Hope wants me as much as I want her.
However, it is going to be complicated getting involved with her. If I had known that I would eventually give in to the temptation of bedding her, I would have asked either Hudson or Wayne to employ her.
I shake my head and chuckle. Putting her in the same radius as my womanizing friends would be disastrous. I turn on the bed, remembering the first time I saw Hope at the mall. Her gorgeous body was the first thing that attracted me to her, even though I hadn’t seen her face. It sent a surge of pleasure running through me. Maybe I’m into curvy ladies after all.
Working with her, seeing her every day, taking in her jasmine scent has almost driven me crazy. I thought I could maintain my distance and remain aloof. But who was I kidding? I would have gotten to this point, eventually.
What am I doing?
If things don’t work out between us, Hope would be the one at the disadvantage. I would continue with my business, but she could not work with me again.
Dare I do this to her?
The thought of another man having Hope fills me with so much jealousy, I gasp. I have already noticed the way some of my staff look at her when they don’t know I’m watching. Hope is particularly friendly with my marketing executive, and it grates on my nerves anytime I see them together. Most times, I feel like telling him to stay away from her and that she’s mine.
Is she really? Isn’t she entitled to choose whoever she wants to date?
Damn! I shouldn’t have kissed her in the office. Now, I can think of nothing else. How will I be able to take it when she smiles and interact in her usual friendly manner with other men after kissing me like that? I should have stayed away from her. But the burning feel of the kiss we shared stays with me throughout the night.
I toss and turn, having one provocative dream after the other about Hope.
By morning, I know that there’s only one thing to do. I’m going to have mind-blowing sex with Hope. I’ll take her to sensual heights she hasn’t otherwise known. I’ll make her so sated in bed she won’t be able to think of anything else. The usual tightness in my loins as I rise from the bed isn’t a surprise to me anymore. In fact, I welcome it now because it makes me look forward to all the things I want to do with Hope.
Definitely, I’ll consider her feelings and she’ll have a say in our relationship, but I will not take no for an answer. I know she’ll refuse us having an affair since I’m her boss, but I won’t let it deter me. I’ll wear down her defenses until she agrees to put both of us out of our sexual misery.
With that thought in mind and with determination etched on my face, I stroll into my bathroom.
Chapter Fourteen
Hope
“What’s the hurry?” Debra asks as I cram the toast she made me into my mouth.
I try to answer, but my mouth is stuffed with food. Aria giggles in her seat as she watches me eat like a starved animal. Taking my cup of coffee, I pour the black liquid in my mouth to help with the bread’s movement down my throat.
When I’m finally able to talk, I say, “I’m almost late for work.”
Debra, who is helping Aria with her food, frowns, and says, “But it’s not eight yet.”
I nod and rise from the chair. “I know. Christian has an early morning meeting. I have to prepare for it, and I regrettably woke up late.”
I turn away so my sister can’t see my facial expression. I don’t want to tell her I woke up late because not only did I think of my boss and the way we smooched in the office yesterday, but I also dreamed of him making passionate love to me. If she finds out, I’m certain she will tie me to my chair and forbid me to go back to Clause Enterprises.
But, I have to. This is the first time I feel alive after so many weeks of despondency. I won’t miss going back to the office for the world. Things might be a little awkward with Christian as he wants us to have a secret affair. I don’t mind, I think there’s something hot about sneaking around with my boss.
I can’t believe I’m having such thoughts. Something I used to find shameful in the past is now appealing to me. Maybe, an alien has taken over my body. I giggle as I rush up the stairs to my room to get my jacket and purse. Ray already left because he won’t be working in the office today but at one of Clause’s remote branches.
I kiss Debra and Aria goodbye and leave the house in a hurry. Even though I’m running late, I took special care in choosing my outfit this morning. I chose a sky-blue shirt and paired it with a navy-blue skirt that fell slightly above my knees and clung to my hips. I know I look good and I hope Christian thinks so, too.
Quickly, I flag down a cab, glad it’s only snowing lightly. I plead with the cab driver to hurry and I relax on the backseat, thinking about how my first meeting with Christian will be after sm
ooching with him in the office the previous day. Knowing him, I’m sure he will act all professional, but his eyes will definitely give him away. I get the feeling that Christian relishes ogling my body, and I enjoy every moment of being the object of his desire.
I pay my fare and slide out of the cab when it pulls up in front of the impressive Clause Enterprises. Very few cars are parked in front of the building as it’s still quite early. Tightening my jacket around my body and folding my arms across my chest to ward off the cold, I hurry across the parking lot into the building. I smile at the receptionist at the immense lobby as she too is just resuming for the day. My heels click noisily on the floor as I hurry toward the elevators.
Potted plants flank the bank of elevators. I stare at them unseeingly after pressing the elevator button. My thoughts are on my forthcoming date with Christian. I wonder where he intends to take me. My breath catches in my throat as I wonder what we’ll do after the date.
Will I go with my boss to his apartment just to have mind-blowing sex? I can’t really say, but I’m afraid I just might. After all, it’s all I’ve thought of since last night.
The brass elevator door slides open and I step into the elevator. Just as it’s about to close, a hand stops it and my heart stops also. Christian, with a broad smile on his face, enters the elevator and the door closes.
My pulse races immediately and I’m afraid I’m going to lose my breath. The silence between us thrums, only permeated by the sound of Jingle Bell blaring from the loudspeakers, which the receptionist has just put on. I clutch my purse tightly as I feel the heat radiating from Christian’s body. Why of all the people who work there does it have to be him to share an elevator with me? And in the morning after our necking in the office.
I open my mouth to at least greet him, but the words die in my throat when I notice Christian’s intense gaze on me. My mouth instantly runs dry and my heart thumps loudly against my chest. The sexual magnetism between us is so blatant I feel my panties getting wet instantly. I don’t know who moves first, but suddenly Christian stops the elevator and I find myself in his arms.
I lean into him, desperate to feel the heat emanating from his body. Christian’s lips descend on mine with an onslaught that leaves me breathless. As usual, shocking sensations run through my body. His mouth moves expertly against mine and a moan escapes from my throat. I really love Christian’s kisses. His tongue dashes into my mouth and entwines with my tongue in a rhythm as old as time. He lifts his mouth for a second before crashing it down again against mine in a savage onslaught. Slowly, I feel myself moving as he backs me against the elevator wall. My breath becomes uneven when he unbuttons my black wool jacket. I don’t mind as I enjoy the feel of his erection against my stomach. My hands rise to caress his hair. I feel my breath becoming ragged when, after unbuttoning my coat, Christian’s hands caress my breasts through my silk blouse, and I moan with pleasure as wetness leaks from my core onto my panties.
Christian elevates his head to stare at me with lust-filled gray eyes. “I ache to be inside you,” he huskily whispers. “I've been in torment since yesterday,” he confesses hoarsely. I bite my lip to keep from telling him how much I want him, too. I just might beg him to take me right here in the elevator. “I’m fighting the urge to fall on you like an animal in heat. You have no idea how sexy I find you. But I want us to go slow."
To hell with going slow. I want to feel him inside me. I am so hot for him I just might beg on my knees.
I’m lost for words and his mouth catches mine again. Powerless to resist, I lean into him again. His hands shift from my breasts to my hair, massaging my scalp.
“I can't wait to see your glorious hair spread across my pillows,” he whispers against my mouth. “And these gorgeous breasts against my chest. They are the right size for my hands.” He cups my breasts again and gently rubs them.
My knees become weak and my legs go rubbery. I can hardly breathe.
“I...” What do I say? I’m looking forward to it? That’s crazy.
Christian gives me another explosive kiss before pulling away. I watch with parted lips as he takes in deep breaths and lets them out slowly. I see that he’s trying to put his need under control, yet I stand there with wobbly legs doing nothing about mine. A little shamefaced realizing how wanton I must look to him, I straighten and try to put a semblance of order to my hair.
“Now, that’s a proper way to say good morning,” Christian mutters beside me and I duck my head. I resolve inwardly to make sure I either come earlier than this to the office or make sure Christian is already here before I arrive for work. Although I want him desperately, I don’t want him to think I’m some cheap woman he can grab and smooch at will. Where’s my self-respect?
After putting my hair and my clothes in order, I stand seemingly aloof from Christian, achingly aware of him.
“Ready?” he asks as he reaches to press the elevator button.
I nod, avoiding looking at him. When the elevator takes us to our office floor, I scramble out, praying Clara is already there. I’m afraid the canoodling might continue if we’re alone in the office.
I let out a small sigh of relief when I see the old woman’s smiling face. Her brows rise when she sees Christian walking behind me. I quickly purse my lips, swollen from Christian’s devastating kisses.
Christian and I carry on as if we didn’t share scalding kisses in the elevator and set each other on fire. The rest of the day is sheer torture for me because everywhere I look, I see Christian. He doesn’t help matters by catching my eyes now and again with the promise of continuing what we started in the elevator reflected in them. I make a lot of mistakes that day, but he doesn’t say a word of complaint. He knows the effect he has on me, and that annoys me greatly.
By the time I get home that day, I’m an immense mass of nerves. I’m afraid that Debra will take one look at me and know what’s going on with me. Fortunately, she’s busy doing something with Aria; she doesn’t pay me much attention. I go up to my room and go over the things that happened that day. One thing I’m afraid of is falling for Christian if all he wants from me is sex. I don’t mind having sex with him but falling in love with him is a definite no-no. It will mess up our working relationship.
I let out a heavy sigh. What am I going to do?
Chapter Fifteen
Hope
“You look stunning.”
A smile spreads across my face at Christian’s words. I know I do because I spent quite some time preparing for the date. I went to a hair salon in the mall to get my hair washed, conditioned, and straightened, and I love the way it hangs around my shoulders.
The burgundy chiffon-bell-sleeve sheath dress falls just above my knees. I paired it with a pair of heeled dark tan knee-length boots that bring out my dress’s color.
The low cut of the dress accentuates my breasts with tantalizing glimpses of my cleavage. I feel so sexy in the dress that hugs my curves. The dress is complemented by a gold pendant that belonged to my mom and a gold clutch. I stared at myself in the mirror and couldn’t believe I gained my confidence back after what Terrance did to me. When I held on to him, sobbing my heart out, begging for him not to leave me, I never knew that someday I would get my self-assurance back. It feels great.
“It’s not that you aren’t always stunning,” Christian adds, “but tonight, you look very sophisticated.”
A smile spreads across my face, and I look away from him to the exquisite décor of the exclusive restaurant. I hear one can’t get a reservation there unless one books months ahead. So, it’s quite surprising that Christian managed it in a few days. Christian chose a secluded part of the restaurant, but I enjoy a view of the entire place. Lovely spidery chandeliers hang on the spiral ceiling. Heavily decorated small Christmas trees stand in the corners of the restaurant, offering the spirit of the season, while garlands and Christmas lights spread across one of the walls. They did the décor in shades of red, gold, and green.
I like the C
hristmas feeling of the place as sharply dressed waiters and waitresses move around the tables and chairs, attending to customers.
I return my gaze to Christian and find him watching me with those mesmerizing and scorching eyes of his. My throat runs dry once more. When he picked me up earlier, his black suit impressed me, along with his pale blue shirt and gold tie. My mouth never fails to water when I see him in a suit. Tonight isn’t any different.
Silly butterflies flutter in my stomach as his face slowly breaks into a grin. I recall opening the door to him that night and his eyes roaming my body with an appraisal that left my knees weak. Since I told Debra that I was going out on a date with someone from work, even though her eyes told me she didn’t believe me, I hurried away from the front door into his Ferrari. The cool interior of the posh car helped to quench the raging fire inside me. But then, his musky scent filled the car and ignited the fire in me again.
Darn! The tightness in my stomach threatens to be my undoing as Christian continues to smile at me as if he knows what his magnetic presence is doing to me. How do I get myself to stop behaving like a shy schoolgirl on her first date?
I reach for the glass of vintage wine Christian ordered, and take a sip to quench the fire inside me.
"Do you want to order now?” he asks in his smooth voice.
I nod. Eating will keep me busy and stop me from ogling him. “Yes, please.”
He gets the attention of the waiter who has been hovering. I sigh. The perks of being a wealthy man. I study the menu for a minute and order chicken and salad while Christian orders steak and salad. He also orders more wine. I wonder if he intends to get me drunk.
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” I can’t help asking.
Christian lips lift with a rakish smile. “Would I succeed?”
Christian Clause: A BWWM Holiday Romance Page 8
