“No. Your mother is too stubborn to leave us.”
“But what if she does, Dad? I can't live without her.” She cries. Cradling her, I shake my head.
“She won't, sweetheart,” Dad says, rubbing her shoulder.
God, I hope she pulls through. I need her to pull through.
***
Dad took Emily home; she was exhausted and needed to get her homework done. She tried to fight me on not doing it because of Daria, but I told her her mom wouldn't want her to fall behind on her studies.
“So, what's the story about her father?” I ask Jess when she comes in with her newborn son. Her eyes snap up to mine like it was some sort of secret.
“Nicholas was here?” Her eyes widen. “Was there a woman with him?”
“No. He was on his own.”
“Good. I don't think I would be able to stop my actions if I ever laid my eyes on the stuck-up, privileged bitch again.” I've never heard Jess talk with such venom in her voice before, not even toward me. I look at her, urging her to elaborate. “I’m not saying anything more.” She shakes her head, looking to Daria. “Daria will tell you in her own time.”
“I’m asking you.”
“Striker, you can use that voice on me all you like, it won’t work. I’ve dealt with bigger and much scarier men than you.” She laughs. “Let’s just say you weren’t the only man to abandon her when she needed him most.” She looks back to her best friend, sadness washing over her face.
“Why does everyone keep saying I abandoned her? I didn’t know she was pregnant.” I sigh, sitting down.
“Because, Striker, that’s what it felt like to her.” Jess sits at the other side of Daria. “She was told that you didn’t want anything to do with her, that you didn’t want seconds and to go find some idiot to believe her story.”
“Who said that?”
“Again, that’s up to Daria to tell you.” All her focus is on Daria, but I need to know who stopped me from knowing my daughter. “I’ve already said too much.”
So many missing pieces of this puzzle, and the only one who can fill in the missing parts is lying with a machine helping her breathe.
“Striker?” Nico snaps me out of my daydream. “Let’s get some coffee and something to eat.”
“No. I need to be here when she wakes up.”
“I’ll be here until you come back.” Jess gives me a small smile.
I relent when my stomach rumbles.
Nico and I sit in the canteen. I can’t help staring at the exit. I should be with Daria.
“Jess won’t leave her.” Nico hands me a sandwich and a coffee.
“I should be there.”
“You love her.” It’s more of a statement than a question. I let out a small laugh at the mere thought that I could love a woman like Daria. “If you don’t love her, why stay at the hospital for a week, never leaving her side. Even now you’re wishing you were there instead of here.” My eyes bore into him for being able to read me like that. “Eyeball me like that all you like, Striker. I’ve known you almost my whole life. This is the only time I’ve been able to truly read you. The only other time was when your mom died.”
“You’re wrong. I don’t love her. I’m only here for Emily’s sake. Nothing else.” Standing sharply, I head back to the ward with Nico quickly on my heels.
“Look, Striker, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up your mom.” He knows I hate thinking about that day. “I’ve just never seen you so scared and worried in a long time.”
“I don’t love her, Nico. I can’t.” Turning the corner, we see an anxious and upset-looking Jess walking out of the room. That’s when I hear the alarms and the doctor shouting for a defibrillator. Bursting in, I’m met with nurses and doctors working on Daria. The machines are going crazy.
“No. No. No.” I back up to the corner of the room and slide down with my head in my hands. The tears come, despite me trying to keep them at bay. My hands cover my ears as I shake my head.
Please, Daria. If you can hear my thoughts, you need to come back.
I love you.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Striker
“Mr. Xanders?” I jump when a young nurse touches my shoulder. After they finished working on her, I sat beside her taking her hand in mine kissing her fingers. I must have fallen asleep. I was still holding Daria’s hand. I look to Daria, seeing she’s still in a coma, then to the nurse. “Sorry. We need to give Miss Denver a bed bath.”
“Okay.” I look at her to elaborate but she just stands there, giving me a small smile. “Oh, right, okay. Yeah. I’ll wait outside.” Leaning down, I kiss Daria’s forehead.
Standing outside, I see someone I never thought I would see again. “Did you not understand the message I gave you the last time?” I asked him.
“Nothing will stop me from seeing my daughter.” He looks me up and down with a sneer. “Not even the likes of you.” Stepping forward, I’m about to punch him when Jess walks along with Nico and Ezra, their son.
“Nicholas?” He turns hearing his name. “What are you doing here?” He steps closer to Jess to hug her, but she steps back. He looks deflated.
“I want to see, Daria. Where’s Jake?”
“Not here.” I sneer.
“He’s still her husband.” He looks to me with a smug expression on his face like he’s trying to get under my skin. It’s working. He’s still staring me down, when Jess steps beside me, sensing I’m about to make a scene outside Daria’s room.
“Ex-husband. They’re getting a divorce. I’m her next of kin, have been since we turned eighteen. Where has Jake been? It’s been a week since I called him and he’s nowhere to be seen. He may not be her husband now, but he’s supposed to still be her friend. If he doesn’t want to be here for Daria, he sure as hell should be here for Emily.”
“Look, Jessica, I’m here to see my daughter, not get the third degree from you. Jake can’t face seeing her like this.” Daria’s dad tries to go in again, but I stand in front of the door blocking him. “Move. I want to see my daughter.”
“She’s not dead and that’s all you need to know,” Jess snaps. “You lost the right to know anything that happens in her life the day you chose that evil witch over your own flesh and blood. Is that why it’s taken a week to come and see her again? Because you had to sneak out?”
“No. Denise and I divorced three years ago. Not that it’s any of your business.”
“When it comes to my best friend, it is my business. The same best friend I had to watch break her heart every day for the past ten years. All because she wanted her dad to be in her daughter’s life, your granddaughter’s life. That she missed you so much that she snuck into your press conferences just to see you. Tell me, Nicholas, how does it feel to know you have broken your little pumpkin into pieces so much that she doesn’t trust anyone and she thinks everyone she loves will leave her? She’s a shell of who she once was.” Angry tears fall as she points in his face. “You did that. You let that vile woman into her life and turned a blind eye to every single vindictive thing she did, just so you could get into office.” Jess turns from him, brushing past me to get into the room, but stopping before she’s fully in. “Leave and don’t come back.” I take one last look at his face then follow Jess in to the room.
“You okay?” Nico asks her.
“Fine.” Her answer is short as she takes Ezra out of his car seat.
“You sure?” She looks up to him with a hard look, one that says shut up and stop asking questions.
***
“Let us know if there are any changes.” Nico shakes my hand as they both leave.
“I’m telling the staff not to let Nicholas anywhere near Daria. The last thing she needs is him when she wakes up. She needs calm and people who love her.” Jess looks at me with a raised eyebrow, daring me to say something.
“Okay. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” They both leave and I resume my place in the chair bedside
Daria. Taking her hand in mine, my thumb skirts over her knuckles, and I look at our joined hands.
I let out a chuckle as I shake my head at the whole situation. “If someone had told me eleven years ago when I first saw this petite, shy girl walking into the clubhouse that I would be sitting by her bedside, praying she lives so I can tell her I love her, and that we have a kid together, I’d ask them if they were high on crack. I didn’t care about anything other than myself and my knives.” I look up from our joined hands to her still bruised face. “Baby, please wake up so I can tell you.” I kiss her knuckles. The feel of her skin on mine is like nothing I’ve felt before.
“When Nico suggested that I may be in love with you, I told him he was delusional. You made me screw you at seventeen, and kept the fact that you were pregnant from me. I despised you. I didn’t take any responsibility for the fact that I took advantage of the whole situation that night. It was easier to blame you.” I move a stray hair from her face. “Truth is, I was pissed at myself for letting it all happen. Seeing you again in Three Scoops, then seeing Emily, I was even more pissed. Seeing you brought back all those feelings I had tried to bury for the past eleven years. When I finally realized that, yes, I did love you on some level, I was too late. Brad had wormed his way in.” I grip her hand a little tighter, taking a sharp intake of breath to try and calm myself. “I don’t trust him. He couldn’t even do his job and find Emily when she went missing.” I stop my tirade of how I hate Brad when I feel her finger twitch. Leaping off of my seat, I run out to find someone. The first person I see is Ant.
“Doc,” I shout down the corridor. “She moved. Her finger moved.”
He sprints down the hall to her room with a nurse.
“Well?” I question them after they have done all of the checks. “Is she waking up?”
“I’m afraid not.” Ant places a gentle hand on my shoulder. “People in comas often have spasms, but it doesn’t mean they’re waking up. She’s still not responding to light or sounds.” My shoulders slump more, defeated.
“I’m sorry. It’s still a waiting game. Keep talking to her.”
When they leave, I sit staring at her, trying to wrap my head around the fact that she may never wake up. She’ll never know how much I truly love her, or see Emily grow up, or even see Emily get married. Emily will be left without a mother. I had to learn to live with that, and I don’t want that for her. It’s the worst feeling in the world losing a parent so young.
“Come on, baby. I love you. You need to wake up. I want to look you in the eye and tell you how much I love you.”
Please, God.
***
There’s been no more spasms or twitches. I’ve not left this room or this seat since she was brought in three weeks ago. Dad tried to convince me to go home for a shower and sleep in a bed, but I refused. I know Emily needs me too, but I need to be here for Daria waking up. Emily has been a couple of times, but I hated seeing her sad when she looked at her mom lying motionless. I don’t want it to have a lasting psychological effect on her like it did with me.
I finally succumb to sleep, still holding her hand after throwing out another prayer to the big man in the sky to make her wake up.
Opening my eyes, I hear a groan and some movement. Lifting my head, I see Daria’s eyes scrunching together, the monitor going insane.
“Daria?” I touch her head and her whole body starts shaking. Leaning above her head, I press the red buzzer. “Daria, baby?”
A rush of doctors and nurses come in, and I’m pushed back. I want to bulldoze through them all and tell them to let me see her.
“Mr. Xanders, we need to ask you to leave.” I stare down at this older lady about Dad’s age. “Sir, we need help Miss Denver.”
Waiting outside her room feels like a lifetime.
“Striker.” Jess runs towards me with her mom. I called her like I said I would if anything changed. “Striker, what happened?”
“I-I don’t know. I fell asleep, then next she was having some sort of fit.”
“She’s a tough cookie is our Daria.” Jess’s mom rubs my arm. I can only nod my head and wait. Again.
***
“Mr. Xanders?” The nurse that kicked me out calls for me to go back into the room. Jess had to get back to Ezra, but Alex stayed behind so Daria had a friendly face. I look at Alex.
“Go. I’ll be out here,” she urges.
Walking through the door, I see Daria lying peacefully again, but with no breathing tube attached to her.
“She’ll be a little groggy, but keep doing what you’ve been doing.” The older nurse pats my forearm with a smile she leaves me.
“Daria?” My voice sounds foreign. “Baby?” I have never felt as happy as I do in this moment. Her eyes open and connect with mine. Rushing to her side, I take her hand in mine and kiss her lips on instinct. “I love you, Daria.” I lean my forehead against hers.
“Striker? What are you doing?”
Sitting down, I prepare myself to tell her everything I said while she was in the coma. Once I get it all out, I risk a look at her. Her brows are knitted together. She blinks a few times. I need her to say something. “I love you, Daria. I always have.” She takes her hand away from mine. “Baby?”
“I’m-I’m with Brad.” Her voice sounds unsure of what she’s just said.
Swallowing hard, I stand. “Well, Brad hasn’t showed his face the whole time you’ve been in here. I’ve been here, day and night. Watching you go into cardiac arrest multiple times. Me. Not him. I should leave.” After pouring my heart out, I realize she doesn't feel the same. Other than my mom and Emily, Daria is the only other woman I would willingly give my heart and my life for. I hate this feeling of rejection. “I'll call Emily later to see how you are.” My throat burns as I turn to leave.
“Striker.” Her hoarse voice calls me, halting my steps. “I don't want Emily seeing me lying here. Can you keep her with you for a while?”
My shoulders slump at yet another hope dashed. Taking one last look at her, I nod. Closing the door, I lean my head against it, squeezing my eyes closed and willing the tears to go away.
Get a grip of yourself, Striker. You have plenty of pussy willing and waiting for you at the clubhouse.
But they're not Daria.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Daria
Seeing the hurt and sadness in his beautiful eyes when he left this room about an hour ago tore my heart to pieces.
“I'm so fucking stupid.” Fisting my hand, I slam it down onto the bed. He’s just confessed his love for me and all I could say was that I’m with someone else? Brad is the reason you’re in this bed. He set this all up. He beat you up along with three other guys. A hot tear falls down my cheek. I’m such a jerk.
“Hey, what's wrong?” Jess rushes to my side. She grabs my hand and repeats her question. When I don't answer her, she starts telling me about what her labor was like and how Nico was a nightmare and she told him to shut his mouth before she wrapped the cord around his neck, making me laugh. “But seriously, Daria. I wish you were in the room with me. You keep me calm and focused. Even Nico mentioned you should have been there.” A tear drips down her cheek. This is the first time I've seen her shed tears in years. “You're my best friend and my sister. I don't know what I would have done if you had died. I dread to think how Striker would have reacted too. He was like a caged animal here. He never left this room, hardly slept, and hardly ate.” Jess’ confession only makes me feel worse about rejecting him. “What's going on, Dar?” She takes my hand again. “Please, please talk to me.”
“Striker told me he loves me,” I say after ten minutes of silence.
“He actually told you?” Her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, Daria. You can't have been that naive to think all the random visits to your house while Brad was there were just that.” Hearing Brad’s name send shockwaves through my
body and causes my heart to race faster. “Daria, that man loves you more than he loves those knives and his bike.”
“I rejected him.” My vision blurs, clouding over so she's nothing more than a blob of color in front of me.
“Ah. So that's why he demanded my mom and dad look after Emily tonight. Daria, why did you reject him? I can see it when you look at him how much you love him. You've loved him since we first went to the clubhouse together.”
“I'm with Brad.” I swallow, hating his name on my tongue, not wanting her to know that he’s the one that put me here in the first place from her.
“Brad? And where is Brad? He’s never once visited, Daria. Striker has been here day and night. I’m not his biggest fan, but he’s been more like a boyfriend to you than that asshole.”
“I’m scared, Jess.”
“What are you scared of?”
“I’m scared he'll reject me when he finds out that I...” I stop myself talking and spilling what I recently found out from the doctors before Strikers confession.
“Finds out what? Daria, you know you can tell me. I'm your best friend.”
Looking into her kind blue eyes, they will me to spill what I've kept locked away inside. I can't look at her any longer. I look down at my lap and take a deep breath.
“How's the patient?” I'm interrupted by Dr. Cross.
“A little tired, but fine otherwise.”
“That's understandable after what you’ve gone through.” He smiles kindly at me. “How's my favorite niece?” He turns to Jess, pulling her into a hug and kissing her hair.
“I'm good. I actually need to go. Dad has Ezra. Don't want him teaching my boy bad words already.”
“Like he did with you?” Ant laughs.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.” She holds up her hands in a surrendering motion. “Call me later.” She hugs me tightly. “I love you.”
“You too,” I whisper through my clogged up throat.
“So, how are you really doing?” Ant perches on the edge of my bed. “I know when you're lying, Daria. We've known each other a very long time.” He raises his eyebrow at me.
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