One Indecent Night

by Hargrove, A. M.

  “Oh, thank you.”

  The nurse came in and hooked up the IV in her hand to a line for fluids.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Mrs. West, that’s your liquid nourishment for the time being, so you don’t get thirsty.”

  “Now why would I need that when I’m perfectly capable of drinking water?”

  The nurse patted her hand and said, “Of course you are, but this is just in case.”

  “In case of what?”

  “In case you get extra thirsty and there isn’t anyone to bring you water.”

  “My John will always bring me water, won’t you, dear?”

  “Of course I will.” Dad was concerned about how to handle this because he kept glancing at all of us and I didn’t know what to do. Telling her would only make it worse because she was completely confused.

  Another nurse came in and told us the doctor was on the way.

  Mom said, “Doctor? What doctor?”

  The nurse quickly answered, “It’s Dr. Casey, Mrs. West, and you’re going to love him.”

  “But why do I need a doctor when I have all this cooking to do?”

  The nurse waved her hand. “Let your daughters do the cooking. Isn’t that right, ladies?”

  “Yes. Mom, we’ll cook so you can relax,” Reynolds said.

  “I can’t even rely on you girls to clean your rooms. You don’t know how to cook a turkey. You’ll burn it. You know how your father detests dry turkey. Besides, I don’t like to leave my girls by the stove alone. They’re too young.” Then she blanked out again, and to be honest, it was a relief.

  God, please help Mom get through this surgery.

  The nurse said, “I’m giving her a mild sedative. Dr. Casey requested it as part of her pre-op.”

  “That’s so weird. She thinks we’re eight or something,” Reynolds said.

  Dad said, “She’s been like this all morning.”

  “Dad, I’m sorry.” I walked around the bed to hold his hand.

  “Me too, Sylls, me too.”

  We stood there, watching Mom when Dr. Casey breezed in. “Good morning, everyone. I’m on my way to the surgery suite and wanted to stop by to see if you had any other questions.”

  “No. She’s been in and out of it, but she doesn’t know what’s going on,” Dad explained.

  “I didn’t expect her to. I wanted you to know that this will be a long procedure—six hours at the minimum. I’ll send a nurse out periodically to give you updates. If it takes longer than that, don’t be alarmed. These cases can vary from one patient to another. You already know she’ll go from recovery to the ICU and their visitation policy is restricted to ten minutes every hour with two visitors at a time. If you want to leave, now would be the time. They’ll be taking her from here to pre-op, where she’ll stay until the OR is fully prepared and I finish getting scrubbed in. Then we go to work. You won’t be able to see her until she’s in recovery, and that’s after she’s out of anesthesia and almost ready to be transferred to the unit. Any questions?”

  I had one. “Dr. Casey, what are her chances of making it through the surgery?”

  “We have really good outcomes data here. My bigger concern is getting to the part of the tumor that’s causing all her issues.”

  “What are the chances of you being able to remove it all?” I asked.

  “I won’t know until I get in there.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ll be seeing you after the procedure. The waiting room is on the sixth floor, where the surgical suites are, and there is also a canteen there where you can get snacks and coffee. If I were you guys, I’d get out of here for a couple of hours and come back at ten. I have your cell number, Mr. West, if I need you for anything.”

  Dad nodded and said, “Thank you.”

  We all walked around Mom’s bed and kissed her on the cheek, and then left Dad to do the same by himself. He joined us in the hall a few minutes later, where we stayed until they wheeled her down.

  “How about going back to Evan’s instead of going to a restaurant? He’s close and has everything we need,” I suggested.

  Everyone agreed, so Evan called Robert to pick us up. When we arrived, Rita was already at work. She made several pots of coffee and tried to get food into Dad, but he claimed he wasn’t hungry.

  “Mr. West, you need a solid meal. You’re no good to anyone if you don’t eat. Now eat this coffeecake. If you can’t get past the first bite, I’ll drop it.”

  He accepted the piece graciously, as my dad would do, but after the first bite, he was hooked. Rita watched with her hands on her hips and beamed.

  “This is the best coffeecake I’ve ever had,” Dad said.

  “Good. Have another piece. And you haven’t even tried my chocolate cake yet.”

  “Dad, the chocolate cake is amazing. Rita’s the best,” I told him.

  “Don’t tempt me, honey. This is delicious.”

  Rita refilled his cup as he gobbled up his second slice.

  “Now, Mr. West, can I offer you something a bit more healthy like some fruit or yogurt?”

  “I’ll have some fruit.”

  She dished up a medley of pineapple, grapes, different melons, and strawberries. It looked so colorful and delicious, I asked for some too.

  He and I sat at the island together and ate our fruit.

  “Dad, this reminds me of when I was little, and you used to take me to that old fashioned soda fountain for lunch.”

  “Yeah, I remember. They closed down about the time Piper came along, but that place had been around forever.” He eyed me for a second and said, “I can’t believe you remember. You were just a little tyke then.”

  “How could I forget those hot fudge sundaes and how Mom would get mad at you because I’d have a stomach ache when I came home.”

  We laughed and then became serious.

  “Sylvie, what will I do without her? Even if they get the tumor, she’s not going to beat this thing. It’s a bad motherfucker.”

  In all the years I’d known my father, I’d never heard him use a bad word. The fact he just did, made me understand how much research he’d done on this type of tumor.

  I leaned my head on his shoulder and said, “I don’t know, Dad. Team West will band together and deal somehow. I haven’t been with Evan very long, but I love him with everything I have, so I kind of understand what you feel. I haven’t the years you and Mom do, but if something happened to him, it would be like losing the other half of me.”

  “That’s exactly right. I know I’ll go on, but right now, I don’t know how.”

  “I love you, Dad.”

  “I love you too, Sylls.”

  As it was nearing the golden hour of ten, we had Robert drive us back to the hospital. He hugged me when we got out of the car. “Thanks again, Robert. You’re so kind.”

  Dad leaned close and said, “That’s quite a ride your man has.”

  “I know. At first all of his, um, wealth was a little intimidating. But I’m warming up to it.”

  “Sylls, exactly how wealthy is he?”

  “I’m not really sure, but his business must be something. You know that’s not my thing.”

  “That never did impress you much.”

  We made it to the sixth floor and located the waiting room, our hangout for the next however many hours. It was huge with at least a couple of dozen people in there. Rita had packed us several large goodie bags so we wouldn’t have to eat vending machine food.

  Evan brought his computer, at my suggestion, so he could get some work done. There was actually a table with some chairs, and he was sitting there typing away. His offices were closed for the week, but that didn’t stop his work from piling up.

  The doctor’s word had been good, and a nurse would show up to give us updates that everything was going as expected.

  Noon came and went, and we all dug into the goodie bags as none of us wanted to leave. I ate two chocolate chip cookies and an apple, just
so I could say I was eating healthy. I did find some milk in the vending machine, since I was supposed to be drinking it every day.

  It was just after two-thirty when the doctor came out. That made it six and a half hours, which was about right. He corralled us into a small room right off the waiting room and told us to have a seat.

  “The tumor was large,” he began. “I found the area that was causing the seizures and got that taken care of. Then, as I told you how these tumors are, it was deeply rooted in her brain. I was removing as much as I could to give her the best chance with radiation, but what we didn’t know, what the scans didn’t show, it had already spread into her hypothalamus. Her body temperature shot up and we couldn’t get it under control. We tried everything we possibly could. I am terribly sorry to tell you, but she didn’t make it.”

  Fifty-Two

  Sylvie

  What was he saying? “She didn’t make it? As in the surgery?” I asked incredulously.

  “That’s right. When her temperature rose, we tried everything we could to bring it down, but everything we tried failed.”

  “I don’t understand.” And I didn’t. What did one thing have to do with the other?

  “The hypothalamus controls many of the body’s functions, such as temperature, and the tumor had infiltrated it. As we were removing one of the roots as I described, something must have triggered the section of the tumor in the hypothalamus and that’s what we speculate made it rise.” He rubbed his face and then neck, as though he was as baffled by this as we were.

  “Are you saying she died?” Piper asked, her voice rising.

  “I am so sorry, but yes.”

  Everyone was stone-faced. My heart fell to my gut as I held a hand to my chest. Everything went instantly numb for a second, and my head swam. I’d had bad premonitions about it, but not this way. I thought if she’d died, it would be days later.

  Evan held my hand and asked, “Sylvie, are you feeling all right?”

  I huffed out a breath, but it didn’t help. “Can’t breathe.”

  “Inhale slowly,” Evan said. “Now exhale.”

  Logically, I understood this, but my heart was tripping in my chest and I was beginning to black out.

  I heard a chair scraping and then a second later, an oxygen mask was covering my face. “Breathe normally.” Dr. Casey’s voice came to me.

  It wasn’t helping. I was hyperventilating. The oxygen was only making it worse. Now my fingers tingled too. I pulled the mask off and said, “Paper bag.”

  I heard Evan say, “She’s hyperventilating.”

  A paper bag materialized over my mouth and I breathed into it. After several long slow breaths, things eventually evened out. Then I burst into tears. Loud ugly ones.

  My mom, the one I used to tell everything to, was forever gone from this world. I would never see or talk to her again. Or share laughs with, or hold her hand. And she would miss the birth of her first grandchild and never see Evan and me get married. Everyone huddled around me as my heart and soul ruptured. I had to pull it together for Dad. This was his time to mourn, not mine. I sought Evan’s hand and tightened my grip on it. Somehow, I drew from his strength.

  When I was able to speak, I apologized to the doctor, who was still with us.

  “Don’t be sorry. She was your mother.” Then Dr. Casey asked, “Do you want to see her?”

  “Yes,” I immediately blurted out.

  Reynolds asked quietly, “How does she look?”

  He gently said, “She has a large bandage on her head, but otherwise, very peaceful.”

  “Is she bloody?” Piper wanted to know.

  “Not at all.”

  “Okay then.” Piper’s voice shook.

  “Dad?” I asked.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Where is she?” I wanted to know.

  Dr. Casey said, “She’s still in the surgical suite. I can take you there now.”

  We followed him over and when we walked in through the physician’s entrance, everyone sort of bowed their heads to us. He took us into the room where she was. There were all kinds of equipment scattered about, but everything had been cleaned up and she had nothing attached to her, no wires or IVs. She only had the large bandage wrapped around her head as he’d indicated. She looked very peaceful lying there. No stress lines on her forehead, none around her eyes or mouth for that matter.

  “I’ll leave you now and please, stay as long as you’d like. There are nurses outside if you need anything and, Mr. West, you’ll have to fill out paperwork for the hospital.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Casey.” I shook his hand because Dad seemed to be incapable of anything.

  He went to Mom, wrapped his arms around her, and laid his head on her chest. I couldn’t watch, because it broke my heart all over again to see it. Evan held me as my sisters sobbed. I held out one arm and they came to us. We stood in a circle and clung to each other. I was completely lost and didn’t know what to do. The moment was endless as we stood together. Time passed, only none of us seemed to be aware of it.

  A nurse peeked her head in and caught our attention. By our, I mean my sisters and me.

  “I’m sorry to disturb you, but may I have a word with you?”

  We walked out and she said, “I hated to interrupt, but these are the forms Dr. Casey may have mentioned. The hospital will need to get these filled out before you leave. I can go through them with you, if you’d like. We can fill them out together and then have your father sign, to make it easier on him.”

  “That sounds best. Piper, Reynolds, why don’t you stay with him and I’ll take care of this.”

  They did and the nurse, Evan, and I went to a lounge where we sat and went through them. It was simple enough and we filled them out in no time. There was the question of an autopsy, and I opted out of it since we knew how she died. I also knew which funeral home Dad preferred because there was only one near us, so I put that on the form. The hospital would take care of calling them.

  We were walking out when Dr. Casey came in. “How’s your father?”

  “He’s still in there. I’m not sure how I’m going to get him to leave.”

  “Shall I have a word with him?”

  “That’s very kind of you, but I’ll handle it.”

  “Ms. West, can I say something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Your mother didn’t suffer. Her tumor was large and in the worst possible location, and I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but the way this ended may have possibly been a blessing. I know it’s not what you wanted and it’s such a shock, but maybe it will help you and your family cope with your loss.”

  “Thanks, but I won’t tell my dad that for a while.”

  “I understand.”

  I sank against Evan when we were alone. “I feel slightly relieved, even though I hate she’s gone. It sounds terrible but to see her suffer everyday…I’m not sure how Dad would’ve handled that.”

  “Dr. Casey was right. Had it been me, I would’ve wanted to go like your mom.”

  When I checked the clock, I couldn’t believe it was after five. “We should probably get Dad out of there.”

  We walked back in and he was now standing, holding Mom’s hand.

  “Dad? How are you?” I asked.

  “It’ll be a long time before I’m okay.”

  We circled around him and put our hands over his. “I filled out the hospital forms, so all you need to do is sign them.”

  “Thank you, honey. What would I do without you girls?”

  “You don’t have to worry about that Dad, because we’re here,” Piper said, putting an arm around him.

  “I have an idea. Instead of going home tonight, why don’t we all go back to Evan’s and have one of Rita’s good home-cooked meals? Then we can get a good night’s sleep and head home in the morning.” I glanced at everyone, waiting for their responses.

  Piper and Reynolds were in. Dad, not so much.

  “I don’t know, Syll. I think
I want to go home.”

  “Come on, Dad. When was the last time you hung out with us?” Reynolds asked.

  “Christmas,” he said, “and it wasn’t very good.”

  “Right. Mom would want us to be together now. You know in your heart I’m right,” Reynolds said.

  “Yeah, Dad,” Piper added.

  “I agree,” I said.

  “Okay. You girls win. But I want to say goodbye one last time to my wife.”

  We said our goodbyes amidst an ocean of tears and left Dad alone. He joined us a few minutes later, signed the forms, and we headed to Evan’s.

  Fifty-Three

  Evan

  Rita didn’t have much warning, but she’d anticipated we were coming. She had plenty of things prepared for us. There was lasagna, salad, meatballs, another huge cake, and of course cookies. She’d made up a charcuterie platter as well.

  “I need a Rita in my life,” Piper said.

  “Right? She’s amazing,” Sylvie said.

  “I confess. She spoils me to death,” I said, stuffing my mouth with cheese. “John, may I get you something to drink? Wine, beer, something stronger?”

  “Stronger, please.”

  We went to the bar and I let him choose what he wanted, which ended up being a nice bourbon, and I poured him three fingers, straight.

  “Thanks.” He took a long sip and said, “This is excellent.”

  “Glad you like it. Help yourself to anything in here.”

  Then he glanced around and said, “Nice place you have here.”

  “Thanks again. Make yourself at home and take a look around if you want.” I wanted him to feel welcome. “I believe Sylvie put your things in one of the guest rooms yesterday.”

  “Thank you, Evan. I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

  “John, I love your daughter. And because of that, her family is my family. I’d do anything for you.”

  He rubbed his face, swallowed several times and it appeared he was trying not to cry.

  “How about I show you around?” I offered, hoping to change the subject.

  He nodded so off we went. I ended the tour with his room, showing him where everything was in the bathroom. “If you want a shower or anything, feel free. I know one thing Sylvie will insist on and that’s you eat something. So before you decide to hide out in here, if that’s what you want, you’d probably better get a bite first.”