by Shana Galen
“But I can see if he has any vulnerabilities. Perhaps he has secrets he doesn’t want made known. He might be willing to forgive your debt in exchange for your silence.”
She blinked at him. She’d never thought of that. It hadn’t even occurred to her, and it rather surprised her that it occurred to Colin. She hadn’t known he was so devious.
“Do you really think he has any secrets we could use against him? Something provable, not just rumors about his part in the baroness’s death.”
“I intend to find out.” He looked about the bed chamber. “Do you like the house?”
She shrugged. “Does it matter? My parents have already leased it for us. Don’t you like it?”
He shrugged. “Like you, I’m not sure what I want.” His gaze moved to the bed. “With a few exceptions.”
She was careful not to look at the bed. “Do you actually intend to live here then? I thought perhaps you went along with the idea so my mother would leave you alone.”
“I’ll admit that was a factor I considered, but right now you need to be kept safe.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Oh, good. So you will live with me not only out of obligation but duty as well.”
He looked a little surprised by her outburst. “That’s not all.”
Daphne told herself not to hope. She told herself not to wish. He’d never cared for her. He probably didn’t have the capability to care for anyone. She’d never seen him express any strong emotion other than the rare flash of anger here and there. “It’s not?” she asked, cursing her heart, which sped up even as she told it not to.
“I’d been thinking I needed a place of my own for some time. And this location is more convenient to my club.”
Daphne stiffened. She would not say a word. She would not react.
“Not to mention, it gets a bit crowded at my father’s house when my sisters and all their offspring are in Town from the country.”
Daphne sprang to her feet. She couldn’t keep quiet. The humiliation of it all was too much. “So you want to live with me out of convenience? Duty, obligation, and convenience!”
His eyes narrowed as he rose slowly to his feet, wincing slightly. Obviously, his ribs still pained him. “It might be less convenient than I supposed.”
“I daresay it will.” She faced him, hands on hips. “I am not a convenience! Do you know how many men asked me to marry them?”
His brow clouded.
“I’ll tell you. Dozens!”
“Well, you did have a formidable dowry,” he said. Obviously, he did not realize how close she was to clobbering him over the head. Would he never see her as desirable, someone of worth?
“Fine. Then do you know how many men asked me to run away with them after you and I married? How many men propositioned me, wrote me love poems, begged me to return their affections?”
“I don’t think I want the answer to that.”
“But maybe you need it because it will show you that not everyone sees me as just a convenience!” She was shouting now, but she didn’t care. For his part, Colin looked unperturbed.
“I said the house was convenient. Not you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’d never call you that.”
“Oh, so now you insult me.”
He blew out a breath, his only sign of frustration. “So I’m not to think of you as convenient or inconvenient. What is it you want from me?”
“I want you to feel something for me! Something other than lust. Something more than indifference.”
He took a step toward her, his green eyes fixed on hers. “I’m not in the least bit indifferent to you,” he said. He took another step and she moved back slightly. “I’ll admit to the lust, but that’s not all there is.”
“Then what else is there?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.
He stared at her for what seemed a very long time.
“Hate?” she prompted. “Love? Some other feeling?”
He swallowed. “I don’t know.”
Daphne closed her eyes. He did not know what he felt for her. He couldn’t even say whether it was closer to love or hate. This man, who was so much a part of her life and yet who had never been part of her life, couldn’t even answer a basic question as to how he felt about her.
She could not do this anymore. She could not keep hoping he might someday feel something for her, might someday want her, want to build a life with her. “I am done here,” she said. She pushed him away and walked toward the door, the tears she held back stinging her eyes. She would make some excuse when she was downstairs. She would tell her mother she was not feeling well and needed to go home. But she didn’t even reach the door.
Colin’s hand closed on her arm, his grip gentle but firm. She looked back at him, prepared to shake him off and tell him where he could go. Something in his eyes stopped her. Was it fear?
“I like your bows,” he said.
Daphne blinked. “Pardon?”
“Your bows. I like them. I like seeing where you will wear them.” He gestured to her dress, which had a row of pink bows from her throat to the floor. “I like thinking about untying them when we’re alone.”
She felt her cheeks heat but ignored the sudden rush of arousal at the image his words created. “That’s just lust again.”
“Yes, but lust for you. I don’t look at other women’s clothing and think about undressing them. I don’t even notice what they’re wearing.”
She nodded. “I suppose that might border on affection. What else?”
He gaped at her. “I have to say more?”
“Do you want me to talk about how I feel about you?” She wasn’t sure what she would say. Not the entire truth, that was certain. He would probably pass out if she told him how she really felt.
He looked as though he were ready to pass out now. “No! You needn’t start talking about your feelings. I’ll think of something else.” He put a hand to his forehead, pressing it hard as if thinking very intently. His gaze roamed over her face then down to her bosom.
“No more physical attributes,” she qualified.
He gave her a murderous look. “Fine.” He looked down, then away, then up at the ceiling.
“If this is too difficult for you—”
“I like that you’re brave,” he said.
She raised her brows. She didn’t think she was particularly brave. She’d never gone off to war and faced the enemy on a battlefield. Apparently, that was a good deal easier for him than this.
“You walk into a ballroom and never seem to worry that everyone looks at you and judges you. And the other night, you were ready to run off to St. James’s Street. Although that might have been more foolhardy than brave.” He took her other arm, so he held both of them. “Don’t give up on me,” he said so quietly she almost couldn’t make out the words.
She stared at him, and for once his face looked so open and vulnerable. And she realized she had been right earlier when she’d thought she’d seen fear. It had been fear, and now he was afraid she would walk away from him.
He felt something for her. She could see it now. He just couldn’t say it. Not yet.
Her first impulse was to throw her arms about him and kiss him and tell him she loved him, but that would only terrify him back into silence and stiffness. And she couldn’t risk his rejection again. So she notched her chin up. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll give you another chance.”
The fear in his eyes turned to annoyance, and she liked that much better.
“You may kiss me, if you want,” she said, her tone regal and long-suffering.
“May I?”
“I suppose.” She shrugged. But as soon as his hand came around the back of her neck, she lost all semblance of false apathy. He slid his other arm around her waist and pulled her hard against him.
“May I do this?”
She took a shaky breath. “If you must,” she whispered.
“I must.” He moved backward, taking her with him until he had h
er pressed up against the wall. She could feel his hardness pushing against her belly. “How is this?”
“Acceptable.”
“Just acceptable?” He slid a hand down her arm until she trembled. “Now, do you want me to kiss you?”
“Yes,” she murmured.
“You want me to tell you how I feel?”
She nodded.
“Then pay attention.” His mouth closed over hers, taking her breath away. She closed her eyes, holding on to him, and allowing the sensation of his lips on hers, his arms around her, to take over. There was more than lust in this kiss. There was passion and reverence and need. And just as she tried to respond to that need, he pulled back. He rested one arm on the wall and looked down at her. “When are we moving in?” he asked.
“Now?” she whispered. She wanted him to lead her to the bed. Better yet, she would lead him. She’d strip off his clothes and kiss him in all the places where she ached right now. She’d like to see his reaction to that.
His mouth quirked. “Too ambitious. The day after tomorrow.”
Daphne did not want to wait that long. She wanted him to do what he’d done to her this morning again. Now.
“Daphne!”
Daphne closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. It was her mother.
“Duncan said he would keep her busy, but even he has his limits,” Colin said. “Listen to me, stay home tonight and tomorrow night. Say you have an ague or whatever it is ladies say. Just be careful until you’re back with me. I can’t follow Battersea and keep an eye on you, and I don’t want to have to rescue you should he see a chance at abduction.”
“As though I would need rescuing.”
“Daphne! Where are you?”
“Just do this one favor for me, will you?”
The door pushed open, and the duchess stepped into the bed chamber. Colin looked over his shoulder, and Daphne caught her mother’s wide-eyed look. The shock quickly turned to pleasure. “Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Colin stepped away from her. “We were just discussing when we should move in. The house is perfect, Your Grace.”
“Oh, good! Well, continue your, er, discussion. I’ll wait downstairs.” And she was gone, closing the door behind her.
Colin looked back at her. “Well?”
Daphne’s own eyes widened. Did he mean to take advantage of this opportunity to—
“Will you stay home, stay safe, for a couple of nights and days?”
“Fine,” she said. “But this is my problem, and I want to deal with it. I’ll accept help, but I won’t sit home forever and embroider while you fix everything. Once we move into this house, my father will release my dowry. We can use that to pay the interest on my debt to Battersea.”
“No,” Colin said.
Daphne narrowed her eyes.
“We’re not paying him a penny. Besides, if you think he’ll be satisfied with that, think again. It was you he wanted all along. If you paid the debt and the interest, he would find another way. All the money in the world won’t be enough to satisfy him.”
“But you think we can blackmail him?”
“I don’t know. I hope so. I’ll know more when you see me again.” He kissed her lips briefly. “In two days.”
She wanted to pull him down for another kiss, but he stepped back and released her. She felt chilled without him, and two days of not seeing him seemed a long time. But then there would be the first night in their new home.
I’d make sure you enjoyed it.
Taking a deep breath, she decided she could wait just a little longer.
Eleven
Colin had followed Battersea from the earl’s club—where he’d waited outside as he wasn’t a member—to a rout—where he’d pretended to be a servant to move about the festivities. He’d seen Daphne’s friends, Lady Isabella and Lady Pavenley, but they were without their third tonight.
For once Daphne had done as he’d asked.
Battersea must have also gone in the hopes of seeing Lady Daphne. He made a circuit of the room, stayed as long as etiquette demanded, and then departed.
Colin followed Battersea to a raucous street just outside Mayfair where a bawdy house catering to wealthy men was situated. The bawd seemed to be having her own rout that evening as noise filtered out and culls streamed in. Colin tucked himself just around the corner, keeping out of sight of the bullies at the door but close enough so that the entrance to the house was in view.
“Not going inside?” a voice said from behind him. Colin tensed and put his hand over the dagger he carried hidden under his coat. He turned slowly, then loosed his grip when he saw Jasper behind him. Jasper wore all black and, with his half-mask in place, he blended in with the shadows.
“You’re following Battersea too?” Colin asked.
“I heard he frequents this house. Thought I would see for myself. Interesting attire.” He glanced down at the livery Colin wore.
“I was at a rout earlier. I’d have to change to go into the bawdy house, and I’m not sure it’s worth the trouble. I wouldn’t be able to move about freely, not with the ladies doing their best to empty my pockets.”
“The whores in the rookeries know about Battersea. He will round up a half dozen when he has a house party in the country. Apparently, they don’t always come back.”
“I heard something to that effect.” Colin studied the door of the bawdy house again, knowing it was too early for Battersea to emerge but diligent in his observation nonetheless.
“We’ll have to do more than follow him from whore to whore in order to find out anything compromising.”
Colin looked back at Jasper. “What are you suggesting?”
“We worked together a few times on the Continent before...” He trailed off, and Colin knew he was thinking about the fire that had scarred him.
“We did,” he agreed. “As I recall, we were generally successful.”
“Why don’t we visit Battersea’s shipping offices? See what we can find,” Jasper suggested.
“You confirmed he has investments in shipping.”
“I did, but I’m still poking around. I’d know more, but...” He spread his hands and a card seemed to appear from nowhere between two black-gloved fingers.
“Card swindlers,” Colin supplied.
“Exactly. It’s too late tonight. By the time we reached the docks and started looking, it would be too close to dawn, and we’d risk being seen. I know you blend in, but in the daylight, I’m better off staying out of sight.” Jasper gestured to his mask.
“Tomorrow night then?” Colin asked.
“Meet me here at ten.”
Colin nodded, looked back at the bawdy house, then back at Jasper. “What about your wife?”
Jasper seemed to start in surprise. “What about her? Planned that dinner party already?”
“I’m told our dining room might not suit for a large dinner party.”
“We’ll have it at Mayne’s house then. He has enough room to feed an army.”
“Good luck persuading him to return to London.” Colin paused then decided to ask the question in the back of his mind. “About your wife. She doesn’t mind you roaming London every night?”
“I don’t roam every night, but she understands the nature of my work. And I’m usually home to wake her up.” His mouth curved into a smile, indicating he rather enjoyed his method of waking his wife from sleep. “But you’re not really interested in my wife. You’re thinking about how to manage yours.”
Colin raised his brows. “I doubt she’d like having it put that way.”
“Then don’t put it that way. And you’re better off not asking for my advice. I don’t know what the devil I’m doing most days, and Olivia is practical and prefers a quiet life. Your wife—” He shook his head.
“What does that mean?”
Jasper laughed. “And here I thought you didn’t like her. I only meant that she seems to enjoy balls and the theater.” He paused. “And musicales, fetes,
routs, dinner parties, tea parties, garden parties—”
“I take your point, Grantham.”
“And all the pink and the bows and the frothy lacy stuff she wears. She’s not one to stand in a corner and blend in.”
Colin understood exactly what Jasper was saying, and he already knew he and Daphne were opposites. But there was more to her than her popularity in social circles. And he was more than a man who pretended to be someone else on demand. He just wasn’t certain she would like who he was under the disguise.
“Do you plan to stay here until he emerges?”
“Yes.” Colin studied the bullies at the door again. “I want to make sure he stays away from Daphne. She’s at home tonight with some illness or other.”
“I assume it’s fabricated.”
“She will be ill again tomorrow evening, so I will see you at ten.”
“Dress as a sailor,” Jasper said a moment later. Colin had actually thought he’d gone.
“A sailor? What will you dress as?”
“Myself. But if we need a distraction, I’ll look to you. You can play the role of sailor?”
Colin scowled at him as though the question was an insult. Jasper laughed, probably only asking it to elicit Colin’s annoyance. As Colin watched, Jasper melted away into the darkness and was gone.
He went back to watching the whore house and tried not to think about where he would be and with whom a few nights hence.
DAPHNE HELD A HANDKERCHIEF to her nose and pretended to sniffle as Lady Isabella and Lady Pavenley delicately sipped their tea in the sitting room of her bed chamber. They’d come to call on her and offer their wishes for a quick recovery. At least, that was what they’d said. Daphne thought it was more likely they hoped to see her red-nosed and feverish and looking her worst.
They seemed disappointed.
She had actually enjoyed staying in last night. She’d felt some guilt at lying to her mother, who had also stayed in to watch over Daphne. But it had been surprisingly pleasant to spend a quiet evening reading and sipping tea with her mother. And when her father had come home from the Lords, they’d all played cards games she remembered from when she’d been a child.
