I swiftly lock the doors then jump over the seat to close his.
He bangs on my window and I grin.
“Open the fucking door.”
I turn up the radio, pretending I can’t hear.
He turns to Royce, who is backing out up past us and throws his hands up. “A little help here.”
“Can’t. Fresh. Waxed. Vagina, Cap.” Royce slides on his sunglasses and peels away.
Captain runs his hands down his face, before glaring at me. “Raven, I need to leave. Now. I cannot be late.”
“Get in then.”
He hesitates a minute, then curses and heads around again.
I unlock the door and he jumps inside.
He doesn’t look at me as he pulls out and on to the road. The first twenty minutes we’re on the road, I take in my surroundings – nothing but orchards and corn and boring shit. But when I’m over it and ready to complain about where we’re headed and cry about how much longer, I look to Cap, who glares at the road.
His leg is bouncing, his fingers keep flexing against the wheel, and he keeps taking deep breaths. He’s anxious.
The vehicle slows and he turns down a small side road. He starts bouncing his shoulders as if he’s trying to shake loose, and slips into the first spot he finds, facing an open field that dips down. If all the families shuffling in and out of the cars around means anything, I’d guess there’s a park at the end.
He looks at his watch, then his phone, then his watch again.
“Cap ...”
“Just ... quiet, Raven. Please.”
I pull back, shocked and a little unsure of this is about, so I attempt to lighten the mood.
“Wow, Captain,” I feign annoyance and he drops his head back, not at all wanting to deal with, well, me. “I had no idea you were aware ‘please’ was a thing.”
He scoffs, a small laugh in there somewhere and drops his eyes to me. After a minute he says, “You shouldn’t be here.”
I shrug, because too late now, right?
I look away, sinking back only to lean forward when I spot someone. I squint to see better. “Is that ... that’s my social worker.”
Captain’s head snaps forward and he curses. He blows out a deep breath and climbs out. Before his door slams, he turns back, leveling me with a hard look I’ve yet to see from him. “Stay in here, Raven. I mean it.”
His words are strong, but there’s something deeper than anger in his eyes.
“Okay.” I nod and he pauses a second, before walking away.
I sit back in my seat, crossing my legs Indian style as I trail his every step across the grass. He stops a few feet from Ms. Vega. A few words are exchanged, and then she turns and walks away. I look back to Captain, but he doesn’t move, his eyes follow her.
Just as I look back, a streak of blonde catches my eye.
“What the...”
Captain bends at the knee and a teeny tiny little thing, with a little blonde, bouncy ponytail, and chubby cheeks runs straight into his open arms.
My jaw drops.
Captain buries the little one against his chest and her baby hand sneaks over his shoulder and pats. He pulls back to look at her, only to hug her close again.
He stands, lifting her with him.
And then he carries her down the hill as she giggles in his arm, patting his cheeks playfully.
I’m not sure how long I stare after the two, but when I snap out of it, I lay flat in the front seat, staring up at the roof forcing myself to think of any and everything other than that fact that I just forced him to share something he wasn’t ready to.
Captain was right, I shouldn’t have come.
The door opens and closes with a soft thud.
I wait for the engine to start but nothing happens, so I don’t move.
After about five minutes, his low sigh has my chest growing tight.
“You can stop pretending to be asleep now, Carver.”
“I don’t wanna look at you, Cap. I’m a bitch.”
“That’s not news to me.”
My eyes pop open and I slowly sit up when a hint of a smile hits his lips.
“I shouldn’t have forced you to bring me,” I tell him.
“Nope, you shouldn’t have,” he agrees. “But you did and now here we are.”
“Cap... I...” I throw my hands up and shrug.
“You can’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t have anyone to tell.”
“I’m not playing.” His tone is sterner this time.
I shrug again. “Neither am I, Cap. I have no one to tell, but even if I did, I wouldn’t.”
He eyes me a minute before nodding back and then we’re back on the road.
I try not to stare as he drives, but it’s impossible.
He’s smiling so bright, probably replaying the last hour in his head, but it’s short-lived and the closer we get to the house, the more his shoulders sag, and his face morphs back into the blank stare he shares with the world.
“Do they know?” I ask him quietly.
“They’re my brothers. They know everything...” He trails off.
“But?”
He swallows. “But they haven’t met her yet.”
“Well,” I whisper. “She’s beautiful, packman.”
He smiles wide, a light laugh leaving him.
I bet he’s picturing her little curls and the sound of her voice.
“Tell me her name?”
His features tighten along with his grip on the wheel. “Not today.”
“Fine.” I bounce in my seat, knowing neither of us needs to go back like this. “Take me to get ice cream then.”
Captain throws a grin my way. “All right. Ice cream I can do.”
I jog down the stairs, moving to check the garage, finding nobody. I pull out my cell.
“Yo?” Royce answers on the first ring.
“Where the fuck you guys at?”
I look over when the front door opens and Royce holds his hands out, the phone still to his ear.
I roll my eyes and toss mine to the couch. “Where’d you guys go?”
“I went to Rumi Grey’s house for some solid cardio.”
I look past him, but he shuts the door.
His frown meets mine. “What’s up?”
“Where’s Raven?”
“With Cap, I think.”
“Nah, man, it’s the second Sunday of the month.”
“Fuck.” He winces. “I forgot. It was my turn to make a plan for tonight this time.”
“It’s cool. I’ll message the team, tell them to gather some people and meet at the party pad. But where the fuck is Raven?”
“No idea, but chill. She’s probably hiding in the trees smoking or something.” He grabs a water from the fridge and we both drop on the couch.
I turn on the TV, but when a half hour passes, I turn it off and sit back.
When Royce sits forward instantly, I know I’m not the only one on edge here.
“Think she’s fighting?”
I frown. “No. Told Bishop if he so much as invited her to watch a fucking fight, he’d get his ass beat and lose his gig.”
Royce nods. “She wouldn’t leave would—”
The front door flies open, banging against the security screen as it does. Raven stumbles in as Captain tries to keep her steady and carry a bag of shit at the same time. She trips, catching herself with her palms against the wall, and starts laughing, dropping her head lazily.
Captain laughs and moves to help her, but she only trips over his shoe and smacks her ass on the hardwood.
She laughs harder, her dark hair falling all in her face.
Royce and I glance at each other and slowly stand.
Raven drops onto her back, spotting us from upside down.
“Oh.” She smiles. “Hey.”
I look to Captain. “She drunk?”
“Yeah, actually.” He laughs, setting the bag down that he was holding so he can help her to her feet. �
��We stopped for ice cream and she had the bright idea to make vodka floats.”
She clings to him and my eye shift to his.
Royce walks over then and lifts her over his head.
“Hey!” she playfully scolds him but laughs as he carries her up the stairs.
When I look back, Captain’s eyes pinch at the sides. “Don’t, brother,” he speaks low.
“You took her with you. To see Zoey.”
“She wouldn’t get out, couldn’t be late.” He shrugs like it’s no fucking big deal.
I narrow my eyes and he looks away.
“Guess I didn’t fight her on it too much.”
Holy shit.
My eyes widen. “You trust her.”
He looks down a moment, and when he looks back, it’s clear. “Guess I do. How ‘bout you?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “Does Royce?”
“Maybe not all the way yet but it’s happening slowly. He wants to trust her.”
Fuck.
“Should we?” I ask him and he gives a small smile.
“I don’t know, my man. Guess we’ll find out.” Captain pats my shoulder as he walks past and into the kitchen. “So what’d the old man have to say?”
“Wild guess.” I drop onto the stool, running my hands through my hair.
“Heard we were at the warehouse.”
“Yup.”
“Fuck.” Cap spreads his hands out on the counter, his chin dropping to his chest.
“What’s going on?” Royce walks in and I motion for him to sit beside me.
He frowns but sits.
“It was what we thought. Dad got word we were at the warehouses that night.”
“And Raven.” Royce scans my face. “If he heard we were there, he knows damn well she was.”
“He’s right,” Cap says, pushing off the countertop.
“He didn’t mention her, so neither did I.” I look from Royce to Captain. “That shit Collins said that day was true. He told me tonight. He’s up for parole in a few months.”
Captain’s hands instantly go to his hair and he runs them down his face while Royce throws himself from the stool and starts pacing.
“Maddoc...” Captain shakes his head, dread all over his face. “I...”
“I know.” I shoot to stand and both Royce and I make our way to Cap. I grip both their shoulders and they do the same. “We won’t let him come in and ruin shit. Getting Zoey is priority.”
“I’m not ready to tell him about her.” Captain’s features tighten.
“I know.” I nod. “I doubt he’ll get it. They’re not just gonna take his word on being a changed man or fucking whatever the first go. We’ll deal with it as it comes.”
“Yeah, all right.”
Royce nods too and then we hear a bang and laughter up the stairs.
Royce grins despite the shittiness we all feel when our brother comes home helpless like tonight.
“Forgot. She asked me to help her get in the shower.”
My frown is instant and he laughs, holding his hands up.
“I told her to wait a minute and I’d be back.” He grins. “Thought we’d play a game of sending you up there and see if she was too drunk to notice.”
I scoff and Captain laughs lightly.
“She’s not that drunk. Just feeling good.”
“How ‘bout you, Cap?” I ask him.
He sighs. “I’m good, man. Zoey’s getting bigger every time I see her. I just ... hate driving away without her. She cried when she got put in the car today. That shit fucked me up.” He looks between us, then glances past us. “Raven.” He swallows. “She’s intuitive. That’s what the ice cream fun was about. Doubt she’d admit it, but she understands us. I’d say she cares, boys. We need to be careful with her.”
Unsure of what to say I head for the stairs.
I yank at my socks, falling against the wall with a loud thud.
“Whoops,” I laugh, tossing one to the floor and move to start on the other.
“What the hell are you doing?”
My head jerks toward the door, but my hair falls in my face, blocking my view. “Trying to get this shit off but my arms aren’t working.”
His deep chuckle has me shaking my head in an attempt to see him better, but more hair sticks to my face from the steam that’s overtaken the bathroom.
His fingers touch my forehead and he pushes it away.
He’s so close, bent in front of me like he would be if he were tossing my legs over his shoulders so he could bury his face between my legs.
My tongue slides between my teeth.
“Stop.”
“Stop what?” I ask, but my eyes continue to travel the curve of his shoulders and down his arm.
“Letting your horny show.”
“Can’t help it.” I throw my hand forward, weakly squeezing the packed muscles of his biceps. “You try sitting a foot from a beast in the flesh with crazy eyes and dirty smirk and let’s see if your thong stays dry.”
The bounce of his shoulders has my eyes lifting.
“There’s that smirk I’m talking about.”
“Your shower’s getting cold.”
“Yeah. But I need food.”
“Can you stand?”
“I’m too lazy.”
He sighs but moves his hands beneath my arms and yanks me off the floor, and right into him.
I laugh and turn, planting my hands on the wall behind him. His brows lift just the slightest. “You ever let a girl run the show, big man?”
“No.”
“Never let her push you into a wall and pin you there?” I run a finger along the collar of his shirt. “Never let her do as she pleases, tease until you can’t hang and beg for her to wrap her lips around your dick?”
He drops his head back. “I wouldn’t need to beg. I’d push her to her knees, and she’d be lucky to put me in her mouth.”
A small hum leaves me, and I rest my weight against him, his hand coming around to keep me still. “I wasn’t talking about those lips, big man. I’m talking her pussy lips. You never begged to slide in a girl’s heat, never ‘bout died to feel her suck you in and squeeze to try and keep you here?”
He groans, and I’m quickly spun around, so my back is now to the wall.
“Like I said. No. Now you want me to take your clothes off for you or not?”
“No.”
His forehead pinches. “No?”
“No.”
“Royce said you needed help undressing.”
“I lied.”
“Why?”
“To get him to go away. He was giving me the look.”
Maddoc’s stare shifts between mine and he steps back. “What look?”
“You know, the open-eyed, flat-lipped look you guys got going on lately. Like you’re trying to figure me out. I don’t like it.”
“Maybe we just wanna know you.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to.”
“Maybe you should get over that.” Maddoc frowns and moves into the hall. “Starting dinner in an hour.”
He gets a few feet away when I call his name.
He pops his head back in.
“Is Cap ... I don’t wanna come down if he’s got that beaten look on his face again.”
Maddoc licks his lips as he searches my eyes. He nods his head. “He’s good, Raven.”
When he walks away, I peel my clothes off my body and by the time I get into the shower, Maddoc was right. It’s cold as hell, so I quickly wash and get out, wrapping the towel around me as I run into my room.
I drop back on my mattress and stare at the ceiling a minute before grabbing a water bottle off the nightstand. I down it then pull myself up again.
I pull on a pair of black sweatpants, socks, and a random shirt and head for the kitchen, running my fingers through my hair as I do.
“Whatcha makin’?” I slink beside Maddoc and he scoots over for me to see the veggies he’s cut up.
He
smacks my hand when I try to snag a piece of broccoli, so I snag a piece of bread instead – it’ll help with the alcohol better.
“Quick beef and broccoli.” He glances my way as he shifts for the sink to rinse his hands. “Wanna start the rice?”
My nose scrunches. “Uhh ... sure?”
He eyes me. “You don’t know how.”
“I mean, you got instant rice? I can pop it in the microwave like a champ.”
He leans back crossing his arms. “You know how to cook at all?”
I lift a shoulder, leaning back on the opposite side of the kitchen. “I’m sure I could if I read instructions, but can I slide in here and make magic? No.”
He nods and pulls a pot from under the counter. He hands me a measuring cup and tells me what to do. We get the rice rinsed, the water measured and I look back to him.
“So how do you know when it’s hot enough?”
“What?”
“The stove.”
He frowns at me. “Have you never cooked before?”
“Made pancakes at the Bray house, but Victoria helped me out, reluctantly. What I did isn’t really considered cooking, but I have made spaghetti a bunch of times.”
“And you don’t know how a stove works?”
“Never had one.”
His forehead pinches. “How’d you cook the meat?”
“We didn’t use meat. Cost too much. We could go to the ninety-nine- cents store and get a pack of noodles and a can of sauce for two bucks. That was like three meals for us if it was only us two. Four or five if I was home alone.”
He drops his stare to the counter and turns back to the food.
“We had a hot plate for a while. My mom would make things if she got a hair up her ass, which was maybe once a month if that. She usually ate out with her clients, though, so I’d heat up a hot dog or soup or something.”
“She’d go out to a restaurant and leave you there with nothing?”
“It’s not a big deal. It was normal where I lived, other kids were running around late, scrounging just like me.”
He frowns. “Have you lived in the same place all your life?”
I jump up on the counter. “Yep. Same trailer since I was born. Out of all my mother’s fuck ups, she at least did that right. We didn’t always have food or hot water, electricity was off a lot, but she never did lose the place.” I scoff as I think about it. “Probably ‘cause then she’d have to spend some of her payment on a hotel room like most the other girls she ran tricks with, but no, she liked to pocket as much as she could.”
Boys of Brayshaw High Page 28
