Support Your Local Monster Hunter

by Dennis Liggio

  "Who the fuck are you guys?" I said.

  I heard the ding of a text. One of the four looked at their phone. "Kill," he said after he looked at it.

  "Wha -" I started to say, but all four leapt into movement. Usually I can handle myself pretty well in a fight, even if it's just fists. But I had four guys coming at me at once from four directions and I was still hurting from Szandor's Most Terrible Week. I managed to slam my fist into one and throw the other against the wall of the alley, but the other two laid into me, hitting me in the kidneys and then the back of my head. That last hit to my skull dazed me, causing me to stumble. My stumble turned into fall as they pushed me down to the ground, kicking me as I fell.

  Weird laughter followed, as each of the four started chuckling in their rage, a weird choked sound. One kicked me, then they laughed before another did too. It was less about hurting me as much as enjoying every moment of it. Even the bald one off to the side seemed to enjoy it though he didn't participate - he simply watched with a nervous, sweaty glee.

  The kicking continued for perhaps a minute longer, my ribs aching with each kick. If they were cold, efficient killers, I would have been long dead. But they were laughing, sadistic bullies, so they enjoyed my pain, they enjoyed my weakness. Before this, I just wanted to learn what the deal was with the exploding heads and why they always seemed to pop up. Now I was learning to hate them with a fiery passion. If I survived, I would make them pay.

  Due to the kicking and laughing, I heard nothing at first. Then I heard the frantic voice of the bald man. "Uh, guys, hold on, guys! Guys! Guys - oh no!"

  The kicking paused. I heard a few things then: a growling bark, a scuffle of shoes, and then the familiar sound of a head exploding. Then the growl intensified as there was a grunt of pain from one of the four. I felt one of them fall over me.

  Still hurting, I knew this was my chance and I pulled myself up, using the wall for support. As I struggled for breath, I took in the fight in front of me. One of the four men was down on the ground, bleeding from a dog bite on his throat. The other three stood around Ace, not sure how to attack the dog, who turned quickly to keep them from getting a clean strike. One of the men was already bleeding from a bite. Since Ace was as big as one of them, weighed as much as them if not more, and had deadly teeth, they seemed reluctant to act.

  Despite my pain, I was happy to see Ace. I was hurt and wanted to rest, but I needed to help him like he helped me. Struggling with the movement, I pulled the lead pipe from inside my jacket. My movements were jerky, but I had the element of surprise because they were concerned with Ace. I slammed the pipe down on the head of the man closest to me. The other two suddenly realized I was back on my feet and wielding a deadly weapon. They paused only for the slightest moment, then both immediately broke into a run toward the alley entrance. Ace quickly leapt upon one of them, bringing him down. Ace then angrily tore at the man's neck, clearly something he had been taught for dealing with either violent men or vampires - I had no idea how much Kolchak trained his dog to do. The last man escaped. Ace and I were the only ones standing in the alley.

  After he was done, Ace turned to me and something like a smile appeared on his face - his eyes lit up, his jaw seemed to open in a relaxed way, his tongue sticking out. If his snout and teeth weren't covered in blood, this would have been a cute and endearing expression. Either way, that dog smile was good to see for a variety of reasons. Ace trotted over to me and then rubbed my free hand with his bloody nose. I didn't even mind the blood. I rubbed his head, breathlessly gasping, "Good dog."

  I leaned against the wall petting Ace as I struggled to regain my breath and tried not to think of everything hurting - did I have a broken rib? I fumbled in my pocket for the pain killers. I popped the lid off the bottle and dry swallowed a few, hoping for any possible relief, but I doubted I would get much. I think I was beyond the power of ibuprofen.

  When I finally felt like moving, I looked at the men in the alley. The bald one's head had indeed exploded. He was as dead as the others, but for once I didn't have his blood on me. Ace had killed two of the others and I had ended another with my pipe. Had this been another situation, this would be the point at which I was freaking out with guilt. I had let my anger and adrenaline get the better of me. I had killed someone. Not a ghoul, not a zombie, not a revenant. There were three dead bodies on the ground, and I was responsible for one.

  However, at the moment, I wasn't bothered. I didn't think it was shock, I didn't think it was some sociopathy on my part, it wasn't even my hatred for the beating the had given me. Even then, I think I knew that these weren't people. I didn't yet know what they were, but they were clearly not human. They were some kind of a monster that seemed very human, like a vampire or revenant. How could this be just a person when I saw the same man repeated over and over? The non-monster explanation required them to be eight identical twins, four with magically exploding heads, the other four burn victims. If they were normal people, I had seen the death of all but one, which was unfortunate. But I didn't think that likely. So what was going on? Clones? Some sort of duplication? The possibilities were as endless as the Midnight Creature Feature and I had zero leads on what was actually happening.

  I looked at the bloody corpses. Whether human or monster, this was the point where I'd normally walk away. Mikkel and I only really did cleanup if the monster bodies were in someone's building or living space. When underground we left the remains for the ecosystem to take care of. But this time, I needed answers, I needed a lead. So I sucked up my disgust and got to work searching the bodies. You see it on TV where the officers search corpses with plastic gloves, remaining almost immaculately clean during the entire process. In practice, moving dead, bleeding bodies and checking their pockets is really awkward and messy. I was doing my best to keep my clothes clean, but there was no way I was getting free without any blood on me. I might not look bloody for a cursory examination, but if the cops decided to pick me up again as a dick move, they'd find blood on me. As I searched, I remembered Ace's stained face. I ripped one of the corpse's shirts so I could at least clean up Ace's jaw; a bloody dog seemed very obvious.

  While searching the bodies I discovered that while they all had some cash on them, which I pocketed, none of the dead men had carried IDs. I didn't find anything on them that gave me any sort of identification - their phones were generic burners with no contact info. They were all getting texts from the same number, but none of the texts made much sense, they were all single words. I wrote the number down, but left the phones with the bodies. One of them had a set of car keys with a keychain of a car dealership, but I had no idea what kind of car they were for. Then I found the most interesting thing, which I wasn't happy about. A Minerva Technics badge. This one didn't have a name or picture, but it was a keycard with the MT logo. I had some bad dealings with Minerva in the past and never wanted to deal with them again. However, I also knew it was inevitable that we would cross paths with them again, because of their interest in monsters. I just didn't think it would be so soon. The thing was, these didn't seem like MT employees. They weren't the jackbooted thugs in black kevlar that seemed to be the MT security uniform. Nor did they seem science or technical staff. There was one badge between them, so my instinct said it was stolen.

  And that was all I found. No manifesto dealing with their big plan, no tattered ad proclaiming The Talented Octuplets, not even a name. Just a badge, an anonymous number, and some keys. I thought about calling the number, but I wasn't about to give them my own phone number.

  "I have no idea what is up with these guys, Ace," I said.

  In response Ace just cocked his head, the dog version of a shrug.

  "Ace, where's Kolchak?"

  Ace seemed to not understand.

  "Where's your... uh... where's your dad? Where's your person? Where is he, boy?"

  This Ace seemed to understand, but he had no answer, only sadness. What joyful light in his eyes I saw disappeared and he rubbed his h
ead against my hand, as if insecure for affection. I love dogs and I don't always know what they mean, but I was pretty sure he didn't know where Kolchak was either. He was looking for Kolchak and was just happy to find me. Which meant we both had no leads on Kolchak and I had no leads on the men who attacked me.

  We left the crime scene then, as I felt we had lingered far too long. We took a route that lead us parallel to the Night Market, but not through it, in case any of the blood that did get on me attracted attention. I thought I was clean, but it was probably best to limit viewings.

  As we came closer to the train station, I looked at Ace. I wasn't sure if dogs were allowed on the train, but at night it didn't matter, as we could ride it until we got thrown off. The bigger issue was what to do with him. He had lost his owner, who was possibly dead. He was a gigantic Great Dane, a massive dog full of love and violence. I couldn't just let him go. Someone needed to be responsible for him. And that was me, since I didn't know another person he knew and I wasn't leaving him at a shelter. He was coming home with me - no other option seemed reasonable.

  "Come on, Ace, we'll go home," I said.

  As if he had somehow sensed my uncertainty, Ace seemed to grin at this, even giving a peppy bark and a wag of his tail. He followed me toward the train station.

  Out here in Huskerville, the train is above ground. The main line back into the city ran on an elevated rail parallel to the highway. It descended underground once it entered the city. So to wait for our train, we had to climb up to the platform in the wind. Meanwhile we could look down at the streets, a closed station kiosk that once sold newspapers but mostly sold bottled water and candy now, and a bank of the dying breed of payphones you could still sometimes find in the city. It was while we were waiting for a train that might take some time to come (the New Avalon Transit Authority seemed to hate the Husks stations more than the Ville line) and I was staring down at the pay phone that I got the idea.

  Ace and I went down to the pay phone. I dug into my pocket before finally finding enough change. I put it in the phone and dialed the number I had gotten from the corpses. As it rang, I wasn't expecting much. If they had any caller ID, it probably said the location of the phone or unlisted, neither of which would entice them to answer. But since I was out of leads, I might as well call the number so I could say I did. The call finally clicked as it picked up. Then I heard something I could only call a combination of screeching and hissing. It started as soon as the line picked up. I didn't say anything as I listened. And I'll dispel the notion right now, it wasn't a modem or computer. Whatever this sound was, I was fairly sure it wasn't mechanical or technological.

  The noise went for about ten seconds, then the line went dead. I heard the pay phone devour my coins and that was it.

  What the hell was that? Those men were being texted by whatever was on the other end of that. Maybe I had caught it at a bad time, but what was that? I had no idea.

  Ace and I went back up to the train platform. Our train still hadn't showed up. I never knew why there was sometimes a really long time between trains at night on the weekends. Wouldn't you want more trains on weekend nights, because that's when people were out doing stuff? I sighed and instead leaned over the railing, looking at the cars pass below.

  It was another ten minutes before I could finally look down the track and see the lights of the correct train coming. It would be another minute before it got here. I happened to glance back down below us and noticed a car come to a screeching halt by the pay phones below. At first I thought it was someone who was dropping off someone trying to make the train, but I knew in a moment I was wrong. Three men got out. One immediately walked over to the phones, inspecting each phone, while the other two fanned out around the area.

  The train came into the station, a long whine as the breaks engaged and all the cars slowed down. But for the moment, my eyes were glued to the men down at the phones. It just couldn't be coincidence that I made a call, and ten minutes later, people were suddenly looking at the phones. Was I just being paranoid? I wasn't - all unfounded fear disappeared when one of the men turned to look up at the platform and I locked eyes with him. It was one of the same men. He wasn't bald; he was like the four men in the alley - short brown hair, random burn scarring, and an angry look to his face. He was wearing a bowling shirt and jeans. I recognized him and he recognized me. He gave a quick shout, and at once, all three men ran for the stairs to the platform.

  "Fuck!" I said, and I grabbed Ace's collar to urge him to run with me into the open doors of the train car.

  We made it inside, but the doors were still held open as the train conductor rattled off the list of destinations that was nearly incomprehensible through the train speakers. I saw through the windows that the three men had made it to the platform and now were running for the train.

  I readied myself for a fight, feeling the weight of the pipe in my jacket, but not wanting to pull it out and alarm the other passengers if I didn't have to. There weren't many on the train, but they were already a little put off by my gigantic dog.

  I was saved from a fight by the New Avalon Transit Authority. Just before the men reached the train, the doors lurched shut without warning. The doors had closed early, something that many a passenger had complained about. In this case, it probably saved me. The three men ran down the line to my train car, glaring at me through the window. They were all the same man: short haired, randomly burned, and angry. Their fashion differed wildly, as the one in the bowling shirt was accompanied by one in scrubs and another in an Avalon U sweatshirt. I shrugged my shoulders at them and smiled in relief as the train started moving and they could only watch me go, no doubt wondering what station I'd get off at.

  Tired

  There were no angry men waiting for me when we got off the subway. I was sure they knew the futility of it all - once on the train, I could have gotten off anywhere in the city, as well as even doubling back and going farther out in the Husks or the Ville. So when I got off in South Egan, I didn't worry and shrugged off any sense of being watched. I did made a quick and surreal stop in an all night store run by the father of someone I went to school with to buy dog food using a dead man's money. After that, I headed home.

  Ace chowed down on dog food in a cheap plastic bowl while I drew a bath. I was still hurting. I had all the bruises and pain from the night before with the revenants and now I had fresh pain from the near fatal beating by the angry men of unknown origin. I just wanted a bath to sooth my pain. I had some fancy girlie bath stuff from Yasmin that I threw in the tub. I'd never buy them myself, but I was willing to take a risk on their supposed magical properties if they could cure even one iota of pain.

  As I stripped and passed the mirror, I saw again how beat up I was. I had tons of bruises from everything else in the week, but the beating in the alley had added large new bruises in dark purpley glory. I was scratched all over. My hand still had a cut on it covered a small plastic bandage; I was impressed it barely hurt. Near one of my ribs there was a really nasty set of bruises. I really did wonder if my rib was broken, but there was no way I was going to the hospital. I hated them in general, and after my last experience with a debt I still hadn't crawled out from under, I didn't want any more bills. I winced in pain when I touched this rib. I decided I would just avoid touching it. Looking back in the mirror, I realized how much I was starting to look like the walking dead. Pretty soon someone was going to think I was a zombie and try to kill me. I needed rest and relief. I decided to double down on magical bath time: I found every bath product Yasmin had ever given me and tossed them all into the bath, hoping that maybe one could help.

  The tub was smelling like a fancy soap store and was bubbling with many pastel colors by the time I slid my body into the hot water. There was some initial pain, but after a moment, the heat was soothing. It helped me relax my muscles, but much of my pain was still there. The bath products were slick and soothing. Instead of removing the pain, the hurt was just dulled, but this w
as enough: it allowed me to close my eyes and drift off for a while. I don't think I actually fell asleep, but my mind went off somewhere. As I spaced out, time passed. It was only when I heard a snort that I came back to awareness.

  I opened my eyes. Ace was next to the tub. He was sitting attentively, his gigantic butt taking up my entire bathroom rug. While he wasn't full of nervous energy, he had an expectant look on his face like, "What are we doing next?" I felt bad for him. This was all out of his comfort zone, and I had no idea how he was normally cared for.

  "I have no idea what we're doing," I finally said to Ace. "I don't know where your master is. I have absolutely no leads there. And on the men who attacked us... me... well, I don't know if I want to do the one thing I could do."

  Ace cocked his head, pretending to understand what I was talking about.

  "I could attempt to call in a favor I'm not actually owed from someone who hates me," I explained.

  Ace gave me another quizzical look.

  "Yeah, there's a lot of that in my life."

  By the time I was out of the tub and dried off, I knew what I needed to do. I wasn't happy about it, but it really was the best choice. Ace followed me around the apartment as I grabbed my phone and then got on my couch. Ace climbed on the couch with me. It was a tiny loveseat, but when I had sat on it with Yasmin it felt close but comfortable. With Ace on it, I suddenly felt very cramped. Ace didn't seem self conscious at all, even if he was practically on top of me and his head was wedged under my chin.