She didn't answer, just nodded, and tears were flowing down her cheeks.
"I don't think I've been the best boyfriend either," I said, looking away from her. "Or even a decent one. That's all on me. I've made you cry too many times in our short relationship. I've got stuff I need to fix about myself before I can be with anyone, before I can give anyone the love they deserve. I get that, even if I'm uncomfortable with that knowledge."
"Then stay with me until you figure that out," she said, but her heart wasn't in it. She didn't really want me to stay, she just didn't want me to go.
I shook my head again. "Don't you see the sick merry-go-round we're on? It's just the downward spiral of a bad relationship. We've gone through it so many times, and we're going to keep doing that because you don't love who I am and I haven't been able to find the love for you within me. We both deserve better. We each deserve someone who won't make us hurt. I hate making you cry, so I'm promising you this is the last time I will make you cry. The last time for a lot of things... Yasmin, it's time for us to end things. It's time to say goodbye."
Yasmin was wiping her tears on her sleeve, but they kept coming. "I would have tried to make this work longer."
She would have, and any other time I would have taken her offer, collapsing my strength into cowardice and taking the easy way to end the confrontation. I wanted to take it now. But I knew where that path went. I knew the pain and tears, the resentment and confusion. We both deserved better even if this ending hurt like hell right now.
"I know," I said finally. "I know," I said again, my voice falling into a whisper. Had this gone better I might have given her a kiss on the cheek, a hug, or something. But whatever had been between us had just slipped away, choked into an early death and cast over the side of the bridge.
I turned away from her and she turned away from me. Yasmin began walking the bridge back into Avalon, while I walked the other direction, toward Huskerville.
I quickly texted my brother, because we had work to do and he had wanted to know when we could meet up for that. It's done. No words would be a better epitaph for what had just happened.
They say that boys don't cry, so I won't say anything about my walk across the bridge. I was only a quarter of the way from the end when I saw a familiar van slide to a halt next to me. The window lowered, and my brother looked out. "Need a ride?"
I nodded, wiping my eyes. I realized Mikkel had parked nearby and waited, knowing this would be bad for me. Normally, I'd give him shit for being overprotective, but if recent events had taught me anything, I needed to accept help when given, especially from family.
"Let's go kill some bad guys," said Mikkel.
We were heading out to the Ville because Mikkel had found some easy work for us. He figured that I'd want something to distract myself and he had found a job that should be trivial. It didn't even have a time constraint. There were zombies on someone's property in the Ville, but the owner had trapped them in their in-ground swimming pool. They weren't going to hurt anyone, the shocked but resourceful owner just needed us to kill them and clean up. So we were just being glorified garbage men. In this case, I was okay with it. It was a nice easy job and I appreciated it.
As we drove, Ace came forward and hung his head over my seat, rubbing his head against my neck. I guess that was his way of offering condolences. We hadn't found Kolchak, so he was staying with us. He luckily had taken to Mikkel as well. And since he was already a hunter's dog, he had no problem with our odd hours, our random treks in the van, and the occasional danger. If we couldn't find his old family, then he'd be part of ours now. He'd be a Nowak now. He had earned it and I appreciated him being with me when no one else was.
We had no leads on Kolchak. The phone was a burner that Paulie couldn't trace. I had told Mikkel all about it, hearing him also scoff at the idea of vampire mob wars in New Avalon right under our noses. He maybe believed it more easily than me, but without proof or it affecting him, it was mostly an intellectual exercise. Besides, it seemed like the vamps were all gone now. The only ones left were the Family, who had not made a move on me yet. Maybe they had only gone after me because I associated with Kolchak or maybe they just didn't know where to find me. I'd be careful, but if a revenant was going to take us on, we were going to fight back. If a whole shit ton were going to come after us, then we'd fight that war as best as we could. Together.
I lit a cigarette and took a long drag as I stared out the windshield at the road. On the one hand, the nicotine felt good after the Yasmin breakup, but on the other hand, the satisfaction felt empty. Cigarettes had been failing me lately - was it time to kick cigarettes with the new leaf I was trying to turn? Was I gonna be the guy that changed so much of his life at once, like going vegetarian and posting positive attitude quotes on Facebook? Did I want to become that guy?
I shook my head, dismissing the thoughts and slumping back in my seat. This was as familiar and safe a place as it got with my life. I was with my brother in our van going to kill monsters. The gyrating of Lola Mandragora on the dash was comforting, like a tacky metronome. Ace was new, but he fit right in. Despite my week, despite just breaking up with my girlfriend, it felt like things might be okay. Things were going to be all right.
My phone rang. My first thought was that it would be collections again, Dickie, or even Yasmin. At least if it was collections I could say the check was in the mail. I wouldn't answer if it was Yasmin. I'd answer if it was Dickie. He had been calling me a lot. After Kelvin Automotive, I had finally called him back and made up with him, as I knew we eventually would. And then I said I'd be willing to audition for Avalon X. Maybe I had time to be in a band, maybe I didn't. But isolating myself had done me no favors. I had to try living life, and maybe life was juggling music with monster hunting.
However, when I checked the phone, I didn't recognize the number. I answered anyway.
"Hello, is this Szandor?" said the woman on the other end. "You don't know me, but I know of you. I'm calling because I think you have something of my client's I need to get back."
"Oh geez, another collections agency," I said sourly. "What do I owe now?"
"Oh no, not at all!" she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off that way. I'm calling about Ace. I have reason to believe you have him, and I need to get him back to his owner. He's recently left town and I need to get Ace to him."
"You want to take Ace home?" I said with a glance to my brother and then to Ace, who panted happily.
"Exactly," she said.
"Wait, Kolchak is actually alive?" I said with shock. Not too much shock, I guess, as that hard ass didn't seem easy to kill.
There was a pause. "Yes... Ace's owner is well and wishes to retrieve his dog."
"Well, okay," I said. "That's fair, I guess. Ace would want to get home, right? I don't want to keep him from his people."
After that was decided, the woman rattled off an address to me and we agreed to meet immediately. No reason to put it off, right? It wasn't actually that far from where we were going anyway. Once I had relayed it to Mikkel, we headed past the Ville to a spot just before the airport.
I'll fully admit that I didn't know how I felt about this. It was good that Ace was getting to go home. It sounds stupid and it hadn't been very long at all, but I had gotten really used to having him, and facing off an army of clones together had given us a bond. Sure, he belonged to Kolchak, but I still would miss the gigantic dog. I also wondered why wasn't Kolchak contacting me directly. What had happened to that guy and why was he avoiding me now?
"So he's getting his dog back by proxy," said Mikkel. "This Kolchak is odd."
"Sometimes he seemed as paranoid as Paulie," I said. Kolchak had kept files of everything. And on us too. I wish I had gotten a chance to ask him about that. Of course I was justifiably mad at that time, but I should have gotten answers. There was something I wasn't being told and I needed to know. If I were an ass, I would have withheld Ace until I found out, but that wasn't fair. Ace
should get to go home.
"Old guy hunters, so strange," said Mikkel.
"He even looked like an old guy with his mustache," I said. "Lemme find a picture of him." I was pretty sure I had a picture somewhere on my phone of Kolchak.
"You know the name Kolchak is from the old TV show, Kolchak the Night Stalker," said Mikkel. "Popular in the Seventies. Darren McGavin at his best. Good stuff. But it can't possibly be his real name unless he won the surname lottery. I'd have loved to have grown up with that name. Mikkel Kolchak... the Night Stalker."
"I kind of figured the name was fake," I said.
Mikkel pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store near the airport. I noticed the maroon SUV that was Vickie's, the woman we were giving Ace to. Vickie was dressed in an expensive maroon running suit that matched her SUV, her blonde hair tied back. She looked like she was about to go for a run. I got out of the van, still distractedly going through the photos on my phone and opened the door for Ace. He jumped out, but when he saw Vickie, he barked excitedly and ran over to her. He jumped around her in a little dance of joy, delighted barks erupting from him. When he finally calmed a little, he let himself be hugged by her.
"Well, we know she wasn't lying about knowing Ace," said Mikkel.
I nodded, finding a picture of Kolchak but suddenly not caring as I let my arm drop. Now that Ace was really going away, I felt sadder than I thought. I was already missing his slobbering face, his almost comically large paws, and that he always seemed to care when bad shit was happening to me. I walked over to Vickie, where she was currently wiping some of Ace's slobber on her face with her sleeve.
"He's happy to see you," I said.
"Oh yeah, Ace and I go way back," said Vickie. "I'm a dog trainer, so I've trained him since he was a puppy, but I also take care of him when he's not working or with his family."
"I didn't realize it was like a real person's job for him," I said. "He might be better employed than I am. So where is... uh... your client?"
Vickie turned to me, and I watched as her demeanor changed from happy and smiling to calm and professional. Not rude, not unhappy, just guarded. "He and his family have left town for a while. I can't say where or how long. But he wanted to get Ace back to them."
"Oh, protecting his family," I said. If the Family had suddenly killed their truce, Kolchak probably wanted to get his vulnerable loved ones out of the area. And himself too, it seemed. While we were out there, I think I enjoyed that Kolchak seemed to be a loner like I was during that time. But I guess he had people he cared for, a family to go home to. Though my brother and I had made up, I felt a little envious.
I looked down at Ace, who was still very happy. He probably didn't realize that we might never see each other again, but I sure did. I rubbed Ace's head. "Well, I'm gonna miss you, Ace. You... uh... be good." I was suddenly a little choked up. It was a really emotional day. I had emotional bruises to match the ones all over my body.
Vickie led Ace into her SUV. Once he was in, she turned back to me. "Ace will be well taken care of, you don't worry about him."
"I won't," I said, but she could see I had a frown rather than a smile.
"So..." she said, trying to find the right words. "It was suggested to me that you might be the right person for this. If you want. As a trainer, I do not want this forced upon you."
"Huh?" I said.
She reached into the SUV and pulled out a bundle. It was a blanket, which she pulled back to reveal a small furry form. Not black like Ace, but a mottled mix of browns. I could see that it was a small Great Dane puppy. The dog's paws were massive compared to the rest of it, and its big beautiful brown eyes looked right at me. I don't know exactly what I was feeling when I locked eyes with the dog, but it was good.
"Who is he?" I said.
"She," corrected Vickie. "I work with a lot of breeders and clients who want pedigree and a certain look. They'll pay a lot for dogs to be bred that way. But not every dog gets the look. She doesn't have the markings, and even though she's not a mutt, no one has wanted to buy her because of that. I could keep her and train her as my own, but I already have so many. She needs a good home, just like every dog, pedigree or not. My client suggested that you might be that good home. He thought that you might need her as much as she needs you."
I simply nodded, unable to take my eyes off the puppy.
"Do you want to hold her?" said Vickie.
I nodded. I still had my phone in my hand, so awkwardly I felt for a pocket, barely paying attention. My brother had come up next to me, so instead I handed him the phone. Then I took the bundle from Vickie, staring at that beautiful mottled puppy below me, now cradled in my arms.
Somewhere in the back of my awareness, I heard Mikkel say, "Holy shit!" as he looked at my phone. But my whole attention was on the small puppy in my arms. The past week had shown me a lot about myself and much of it wasn't good. I had realized that for a long time I had a trouble with love. It had never seemed like I had enough love to give, that I just didn't have enough inside me to give to someone else. But looking down at this small brown form, I realized this was different. Something inside me welled up, a feeling I hadn't felt in many years. I realized that I did have some love in me. It wasn't much, but I had enough for her. I could love this puppy and that would be a start. This I could do.
About the Author
Dennis Liggio is the author of fourteen books, including I KILL MONSTERS, the DAMNED LIES series, THE LOST AND THE DAMNED, and the books set in the city of New Avalon. He is a veteran of the game industry, enjoys long walks on the beach while thumbing through tomes of unspeakable evil, and rumor has it that if you say his name three times in front of a mirror at midnight he will appear and give you Hostess Fruit Pies. He writes primarily in the genres of geeky absurdist humor, horror, and urban fantasy. He lives in Austin, Texas with his wife and two furry monsters.
www.dennisliggio.com
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Books by Dennis Liggio
The Ghoul Pit (Nowak Brothers #4) - Coming August 2017!
Mikkel and Szandor are trapped. Far away and under the earth there is a desolate place, an underground labyrinth. The two brothers didn't intend to end up here; they didn't even know it existed. They were simply doing a friend a favor. But in the course of that, they tangled with the wrong people and were banished down here. It is a seemingly endless maze of tunnels, caverns, and dark places. They would be lucky if it was empty, but it's not; the labyrinth is full of ghouls and other monsters. Friends are few and help is minimal, but it's Mikkel and Szandor's job to raid a fallen town and steal back a strange artifact. This item is the only thing they can use to buy their way up to the surface. But what's really going on down there? What answers will they find in those dark tunnels? Can they fulfill their mission and stay alive? Can they escape The Ghoul Pit?
Manic Monday (Dane Monday #1)
Dane Monday deals with weird stuff. Mad scientists, sorcerers, robots, time-travelling cats, cyborgs learning the concept of love, and more. Whether it's a death ray, a doomsday ritual, or simply magic gone wrong, Dane Monday is there to stop them. He's even got a rogue's gallery of megalomaniacal villains who want revenge. Armed only with his wits, some reluctant allies, and a satchel full of gadgets, Dane steps forward to save the city of New Avalon.
While investigating an abandoned building, Dane encounters the remnants of a magical ritual shortly before the building explodes in spectacular fashion. Narrowly escaping this destruction with his new ally, the aspiring journalist Abby Connors, Dane follows the threads of this mystery while evading a menagerie of homicidal robots, kidnapping thugs, and the wrath of a mad scientist. At the bottom of it all is a scheme to destroy New Avalon involving a century-old architect, a historic hotel, and something not of our world.
Can Dane and Abby brave the dangers and the strangeness to save the city of New Avalon? Find out in Mani
c Monday!
Burning Monday (Dane Monday #2)
Dane and Abby ride again - in a modified El Camino using experimental rocket boosters! And that's not even the main story! After a brief stint of ghost drag racing, Dane follows a lead which brings him far below the city where he and Abby escape the jaws of death to find a strange device. Before they can find out what it is, the device is stolen by an outlaw motorcycle club who are harboring a violent secret. Meanwhile, their friend Wong's long buried past is coming back to haunt him with an explosive vengeance. In this Dane Monday adventure there's fire, a gigantic beast, mystical martial arts, a long buried past, and howling enemies. Chinatown is ready to burn - can Dane and Abby stop it? Find out in Burning Monday!
Murder Monday (Dane Monday #3)
The past has come back to haunt Dane Monday! A master of murderous puppets has returned - ten years after Dane defeated him and sent him to prison. Immediately kicking his usually trusted partner Abby off the case for her own safety, Dane prepares to deal with the villain and not make the same mistake he made all those years ago. However, Abby refuses to be so easily cast aside and continues to work the case, uncovering secrets but also placing herself in harm's way. But the puppet master is not the only past that's returning and someone else has taken an interest in Abby's fate - particularly her demise. Can Dane and Abby stop the villains without losing their lives? Or will this be an unhappy Halloween for Dane Monday? Find out in Murder Monday!
The Case of the Dead Girl in my Apartment (New Avalon Case Files #1)
When Jake arrives home to find his not-quite-girlfriend Melody murdered in his apartment, things seem like they couldn't get any worse. But when the killer, a ferocious man turned monster, is still there and looking for something of Melody's, Jake fights for his life, just barely getting out of the apartment to safety. Now he's on the hook for the murder of Melody. To clear his name, his college friends put together a reluctant Mystery Gang: Anna, the mystery-obsessed Criminal Justice Major; Eva, Jake's best friend and escapee from New Avalon's high society; Nathan, cynical Philosophy Major; and Thomas, the weird Physics grad student from across town. Together they investigate the murder and the object they murderer was looking for, stumbling onto something bigger and stranger than they ever imagined. Monsters, memory wipes, magic, men in black, and a secret war of Good versus Evil for the fate of the city and possibly the world. Mysteries have never been this strange.
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