“I’m sorry, baby. Try to go back to sleep,” I tell her.
Saige sits up and looks at me. “Finnick Casey Larsen! Do not do this to me. I told you everything that happened to me, when I was having the nightmares, and they aren’t that bad or come as often anymore. Just knowing that you are here with me, that I can tell you anything, is a huge deal. Let me help you. Please?”
I sigh and sit up, then pull Saige over to sit between my legs, pulling the sheet back over us. I wrap my arms around her, and she holds onto my arms.
“Saige, this isn’t pretty. Cooper knows about how I grew up, and your dad. A few of the older guys too. But it’s because they were the cops that came to the house and found us, and Coop is my best friend, he was there to see a lot of it. You know Donovan was my twin brother. Our parents, ha, if you can call them that, they liked to party. Drugs were more important than we were. Dad liked to use his fists to get his point across, and he did it a lot to not only me, but Mom and Don until I got big enough to fight back. He was a mean son of a bitch. I had come home from the gym to find Mom bloodied and lying on the floor, she wasn’t moving. Dad had a gun pointed at her and Don. Don was up against the sink, his face swollen, bloody, bruised. I saw red. Dad didn’t hear me come in, but Don saw me and shook his head no. That’s when Dad knew I was there, so he turned towards me. He actually shot Mom as he turned towards me. He said if I made another move Don was next. I stood still and he started laughing. He said I was weak, he wished that they had never had us. He turned to Don again while cocking the gun. I tackled him. The gun went off, and I just stayed on top of him beating him. Taking out every ounce of anger and pain he had ever put us through on him. It took your dad and Cruz to pull me off him. I saw a paramedic working on Don, and I realized that when the gun went off, it hit him in the leg. We were seniors, and he couldn’t play football that year. It destroyed his scholarship, and he blamed me for it. I had killed Dad, wrecked his scholarship, and Mom was gone because of me. I was going into the Marines and shipping out for boot camp. Don stayed with some friends of his. Your dad made sure everything went down as self-defense. But Don, he never really forgave me. He said football was all he had ever wanted, and I took that from him. He even said in the last phone call we had, that he hoped I died while on tour. I only told him I loved him, and he hung up on me. His friend Tate kept me up to date on him, letting me know what was going on. He got into drugs and starting drinking. On top of that he started street racing while high and drunk. I called your dad and told him what I knew, but one night, it all came to a fiery end. Don was high and racing when he lost control of the car. He ran head on into a tree. I may as well have killed my brother that same day as I killed my dad. Cause he surely didn’t live a day after that.” A sob escapes me, and it isn’t until I feel her hands on my face that I realize I am crying or that she has turned in my arms to face me.
“Finn. You didn’t kill your brother. You tried to help him, and you even saved him. I know you were in the Marines, deployed with Coop overseas, so there was nothing you could do about what he was doing. I have loved you since I was fifteen, I’m not going to stop now.”
I pull her closer to me and kiss her. Can she really love me? She says she does, I want, no need to believe her. “Saige, I…thank you. I don’t deserve you.”
“No, you deserve someone better. You keep thinking because you had to kill someone that I’m going to cut and run. You forget that I killed someone too. Lynch was in the crosshairs of that girl that was kidnapping the strippers at that club we went undercover at. I shot her like it was nothing. I did what I had to do to protect my family. You did the same. You were trying to get Don help. It’s not your fault. I know that there’s more that you don’t want to tell me right now, and that’s okay. But I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. If anyone walks away from us, it’ll have to be you. You need to put the past to rest. I don’t care what you did, or where you come from. I know you. I know your heart.” She presses into me and kisses me.
“I’ll try to think of it your way. I mean I know I didn’t kill him with my hands, but him getting shot because of me, then being put on those painkillers, is what led to the stronger drugs.”
“Finnick, it was his choice to abuse his pills to try to numb not only the pain but his mind. It was also his choice to start the harder stuff. It becomes an addiction, I know, but it starts with a choice. And Don made that choice. You didn’t force him to drink or take whatever it was he was taking. You were overseas. He could have gotten help, his friend that he stayed with could have gotten him help. I know it has to hurt like hell, and I’m so sorry. I wish I could take all the pain from you, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is help you to carry the burden of it, by always being here for you.” Damn, this woman is something else. I hold her to me for a while, just holding her, soaking up her light and love. I actually fall asleep, with her in my arms.
I wake up to Saige kissing my chin, working her way to my mouth. She is straddling my legs, moaning as she grinds her pussy against me. I pull her closer, holding her with one arm while kissing her. I rub her clit and stick two fingers in her. My God, she is so wet. Saige licks my chin, down my throat, over to the side of my neck, where she sucks on me. She is grinding down on my fingers and I’m hard as hell. “Finn, I need you, please.” She licks down my throat to my chest, and licks my nipple, then bites down on it. Holy shit that feels good! I moan as she does the same to the other, and I lift her up, helping her line up with my dick. I watch as she slowly lowers herself down on me. I have her watch as I suck her juices off my fingers. She sucks a breath in, and starts to slowly move up and down, swiveling her hips. Oh shit! I squeeze her breasts together and suck on both nipples, then run my tongue over them, nipping at them. Biting just enough for it to sting, then lick them again. Saige is getting close, I can feel it, so am I. I grab ahold of her hips and start pumping into her hard. It doesn’t take long until we both are screaming out our orgasms. Saige leans into me, trying to catch her breath. I hold her to me, lift her chin so that I can kiss her.
“Thank you, for loving me,” I tell her. I lay her down beside me and go get a rag to clean us up before I lay back down beside her, pull her close, and fall into a deep sleep.
The next morning, I wake up and Saige isn’t in the room. I see a note on her pillow. I grab it and read
“Finn, you finally got into a deep sleep, and I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be with Loki for a bit, and I’ll see you soon. Thank you for trusting me last night. I love you. Saige.”
Damn this girl is going to be the death of me. Thinking about something that has been on my mind a few days, I make my decision. Smiling to myself, I get up to take a shower. I need to talk to Stone and Tires.
Twenty-Nine
Saige
It’s been a couple of weeks since everything happened at the clubhouse. Loki is spending more time with me again. I know he is worried about me. Not only with what is going on, but he is worried that Cotton will hurt me. I told him Cotton wouldn’t intentionally hurt me. He seems to think that if I stay with Cotton, that we will lose our time together. I tell him it would take death to tear us apart. We are on our way right now to get some ink done. I know what I am going to get. I’m so excited. Loki is talking about the tats he is wanting on his arm. He’s working on a sleeve. I laugh when we get inside, and Leilani grabs me. “Tell your BFF bye for now.” Laughing Loki and I do our, “Bye, BFF, see you later.”
“Not unless I see you first, BFF.” Acer and Leilani laugh. I follow her into her area and give her a hug really quick.
“I have a question for you. Coop and I both have talked about it. You have been the biggest mother influence in our lives, except for Aunt Stella. Would you be okay with us calling you mom or makuahine?”
Leilani bursts into tears, hugging me to her. “Are you sure? I would love for you two to do that, you’re like my own kids.”
“We’re sure. Now dry those tears. I need to see if we c
an do the tattoo that I want.” She laughs and we work up a stencil of what I want to get done. I get my shirt off so that she can get it on my left ribcage. I can’t wait to show it off.
It’s been a couple days since my tattoo. I haven’t shown it to Cotton yet, he’s been gone on a parts run with Cruz. I haven’t felt to good the last few days either.
We are at the bakery, and I am covered in cake flour. I just dropped a bag and it’s gone everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. Bexley has gotten covered too. Loki walks in from the front and when he sees us starts laughing too. “Oh, dear lord. What a mess! Want me to send the two prospects in here to help clean up?”
“Yeah if you will. I need to run to the bathroom,” I say as I take off running. I barely get the door shut and locked before I start throwing up my breakfast and lunch. I’m still dry heaving when there is a knock at the door. “Just a minute,” I call out.
“Saige, are you okay?”
“Yeah, Lok, I’m okay. I’ll be out in just a second.” I splash cold water on my face and clean up. Walking out of the bathroom, Loki is right there, arms crossed with a look of concern on his face. “Really, Loki, I’m okay. Sloane had a stomach bug the other day and missed work, I must’ve caught it from her. Ugh. I can’t ride my bike back home feeling like this. Anyone in a cage that can give me a ride? Sloane and Bexley can handle things for a day or two. We don’t have any special orders.” Putting his arm around my shoulder, he leads me to a chair. He goes to talk to Sloane and let her know that he is taking me home.
She comes into the back and looks at me. “Well you look like I did when I was sick. Oh hun, I’m sorry. Bexley and I have things covered here. Love you.”
I smile at her, “Love you too.” We blow each other a kiss, and Loki takes me out to my cage. His bike is loaded in the back, and I see Bacon on mine. Damn, that was quick. I can’t help but giggle a little to see Bacon who is big and muscular, sitting on my purple bike. Loki must’ve called as soon as I started running for the bathroom. He helps me up in the truck, I lay my head against the window. The coolness feels good against my flushed skin. The next thing I know, my door is being opened and Loki pulls me out, carrying me into the urgent care. He fills out the forms and pays my co-pay. He comes back to sit with me, putting his arm around my shoulder.
“Why’d you bring me here, Lok? I just need to rest, and I’ll be okay in a couple of days.”
“Hush. You’ve been sick for a few weeks. Yeah, I’ve noticed. You were sick before Sloane got her stomach virus.” He is looking at me, and says, “Saige, is there a chance you are pregnant?” I look at him in shock, and think back, I haven’t had a monthly since Cotton and I got together.
“It’s possible,” I tell him. He squeezes my hand. It doesn’t take long for my name to be called, and Loki goes back with me. The nurse has me go into the bathroom and pee in a cup, then she draws some blood, just in case. She keeps checking Loki out, smiling, flipping her hair over her shoulder. She even licks her lips. I can’t help but giggle. Loki just ignores her.
After she leaves the room to run the tests, Loki looks at me. “I need a favor.”
I look at him, “Yeah okay, anything I can do you know I will.”
“I need Sloane’s ring size. I want to ask her to marry me.”
“Oh Loki, I’m so happy and I know she’ll say yes. Her ring size is seven. We share rings all the time.”
He smiles, before asking, “Will you help me to pick it out? You know her tastes for stuff like that better than I do. And I can’t think of anyone better than my BFF to help me.”
“Absolutely. As long as you do me a favor.” He looks at me.
“If I am pregnant, you can’t tell anyone. Not even Sloane. I want to tell everyone in my own way at one time.”
“I promise.”
There’s a knock at the door, and a man walks in. “Hello, my name is Dr. Holmes. It looks like congratulations are in order. You’re definitely pregnant. I’m going to have Sydney come in and do an ultrasound, to see just how far along you are. I’m also going to write you prescriptions for prenatal vitamins and nausea meds to take. I promise that they won’t hurt the baby. I’d like to see you back in a month, unless you have any problems. I’ll send Sydney right in.”
“Thank you, Dr. Holmes,” Loki says, as I’m sitting here in shock. “Saige, are you okay?” I nod. I look up as there is another knock at the door and a woman comes in pushing a machine.
“Hi there. I’m Sydney, and I’ll be doing your ultrasound. I’m going to try on your stomach first. If I can’t see anything, then we’ll have to do a vaginal. So just lie back and pull your shirt up a little and your pants just a tad bit down. Dad, do you want to stay in here?” We both laugh, and she looks at us funny.
“I’m sorry, this is my cousin and best friend, but yes, he’s staying unless you have to do the vaginal.”
She smiles. “Okay, I have to put some gel on you, but it’s been in the warmer.” She squirts it on my stomach and spreads it out with a wand thing. “You’re in luck, I can see great. Would you like to hear the babies’ heartbeats?’’
“What do you mean babies?” Loki asks. I think I went into shock again.
“It looks like you are having twins. Do they run in your family?” Loki tells her no. Then a wonderful sound fills the room. I look at Loki and even he is crying. You can hear both heartbeats, and it’s completely breathtaking and magical. “I’m going to take some measurements and then I’ll print you out some pictures.” I smile at her and watch as she does this and that on her screen. “Okay, it looks like the babies are measuring at thirteen weeks. Everything looks great with them so far. I’ll let Dr. Holmes know. Here’re some pictures of the sonogram, and the receptionist will have your next appointment set for you. Dr. Holmes may want to see you a little more frequently since you’re having twins. He also sent your prescriptions electronically to the pharmacy. Take care.”
“Thank you, Sydney.” She smiles as she hands me a few wet wipes and paper towels and leaves the room. “Loki, remember, don’t say a word to anyone. I need you to take me back to the bakery.”
“Saige, it’s closed now.”
“I know. You want to help me? I’m going to copy these sonogram pictures into my machine and print out edible images. Then we are going to make a cake and some cupcakes. We’ll be at the clubhouse in time for dinner.”
He smiles big liking my idea. “Let’s get to it!”
Loki and I pull up to the clubhouse a few hours later. He stopped and got my prescriptions and I took one of the nausea meds as soon as we got them. We walk in and everyone is getting ready to eat.
Cotton walks over to us, “There you are, baby. I was getting worried about you two. Sloane said you left the bakery early.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling good, so Loki took me to the doctor. It was crowded so it took a while before I could be seen.” We walk over to the table that Loki sat the bakery boxes on.
“Dad, Mom, Coop, Aunt Stella, Uncle Cruz, Sloane, Bexley, I need y’all to come up to see these cakes before everyone else. Please?” They all walk up to the table.
Dad walks up to me and gives me a hug, “Whatcha got, baby girl, a new flavor or design?”
“You could say that. Cotton, why don’t you open the big box for me?”
“Okay, Butterfly.” He looks at me, then lifts the lid off the big box. He looks at it for a minute, then turns to me, “Saige, is this for real?” He has tears in his eyes. I nod.
“Yeah.” He lets out a whoop and everyone looks at him.
“I’m going to be a dad!” he yells. He pulls me to him and kisses me.
“Yo, Cotton, did you notice that it says baby a and baby b in that picture?” Loki asks.
“What?! Really?! Twins?!” He is so excited.
“Damn, sis, you always have to go big on things when you do them don’t you?” Tires hugs me close, then does the man hug, back slap with Cotton.
Dad and Mom envelope us between them. �
��You two, making us grandparents two times over on the first try. I love you both.”
“I love you too, Daddy.” We get congratulations from everyone, and the guys go pull out the alcohol, turning this into a party.
Cotton makes a plate for us both and has me follow him to a table. He pulls me down beside him and kisses me. “You have made me so happy. I love you, Saige.” I look up at him, a tear sliding down my face. It’s the first time he has said the words, though I know he means them, he shows me every day. I can’t eat much, but I did get a Gatorade and drink it. Even with that medicine for nausea, I’m still feeling sick.
Thirty
Cotton
I was starting to get worried. Sloane had told me that Loki had taken Saige home a few hours ago, but they never showed up here. Neither of them were answering their phones. I was getting ready to go talk to Stone when they walked in the door, Loki carrying a couple of boxes from the bakery. Opening that box when Saige asked me to, and seeing the sonogram saying twins, has to be one of the greatest things to ever happen to me.
After we get congratulations from everyone, I fix Saige and I a plate, having her sit down. She looks exhausted. Her dad, Leilani, Tires, Loki, Sloane, Bex, Stella, and Cruz sit at the table with us.
“I can’t believe I’m going to be a great auntie,” Stella says, tears streaming.
“Yeah, and I’m going to be a papaw. Baby, you will be a mamaw,” Stone tells Leilani.
Leilani looks at him, “Umm no, I will be Tutu. That is grandma in Hawaiian. It can also be used as grandpa too.”
“Tutu. I really like that, it’s so cute,” Saige says. I look at her plate to see that she hasn’t eaten much, then I notice that she is looking even more pale. She is sipping on a Gatorade.
Saige Page 11
