“She told you,” I said. “Off you go.”
I shared a conspiratorial wink with Charlotte, whose smile grew.
I liked her immensely.
“Okay, I’ll be right outside if either of you need anything.”
I waited for him to close the door behind him, then gave Charlotte my full attention. “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
She nodded, waited for the respirator to pump air into her lungs, and said, “I’m glad you’re here.”
I offered up a wry grin. “I feel kinda awkward.”
Charlotte shook her head, the movement barely perceptible. The whoosh of the respirator sounded before she said, “No need.”
I decided to be completely up front and bullish about the reason for my visit. It was the only way to get to the truth, namely, whether or not Charlotte still had feelings for Devon, and what memories she could recall from that fateful day that might help Devon put his demons to bed once and for all.
“Let me be completely honest with why I’m here, Charlotte. When I found out about you, I admit I was shocked. Devon hadn’t mentioned you at all, despite the fact we’ve been dating for months. I also admit, I felt betrayed, hurt. But once I agreed to sit down and talk to him, I realized he wasn’t keeping you secret because he was ashamed of you, but because he was ashamed of himself. He completely blames himself for what happened to you. He carries so much guilt inside that it’s killing him, Charlotte. I love Devon with all my heart, and all I want is for him to be happy. I don’t know how to help him. That’s why I’m here. I’m hoping you do. I came here today with two goals in mind. One, to find out whether you’re in love with Devon, and two, for you to tell me in your own words what happened that day.”
Charlotte bit the inside of her cheek, a pinch of uncertainty drawing her brows low. I held my breath, fearing what might come next.
“I love Devon, but not like that. He’s done so much for me. I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for him. But in love? No. When I had my accident, we barely knew each other. Not really. I wasn’t in love with him then, and I’m not in love with him now. Over the years, he’s grown into more of a brother to me.”
I almost slumped in my chair. God, the relief… I had absolutely no issue with Devon supporting Charlotte and her being an important part of his life. In fact, it made me proud that he’d refused to cut her loose, despite the guilt tethering him to this place, and to her. It still said huge amounts about his character. But if Charlotte had been in love with him, if she harbored any hope of them becoming a couple, that I’d have struggled to deal with.
I squeezed Charlotte’s hand. “Thank you. I really appreciate your honesty.”
“He loves you,” she said.
My lips curved upward into a secretive smile, my mind drifting into the world only he and I inhabited. The weeks stretching ahead where we’d have time to just be. To explore and discover each other, to form a deep, lasting bond. I’d submitted the final draft of the book and left it in the capable hands of the proofreaders, and the racing season had ended, so now it was our time to concentrate on each other.
“The accident,” Charlotte said, jerking me from my reverie. “It wasn’t Devon’s fault.”
“I know that,” I said. “I’ve told him a hundred times, but he won’t listen.”
“No, I don’t mean that. Listen to what I’m saying. Devon was in no way to blame for what happened.”
A tear spilled from the corner of Charlotte’s eye, trailing down her cheek.
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“I’m so sorry,” Charlotte said. “I’m such a horrible person. I should have told Devon the truth years ago.”
I narrowed my eyes, a prickle of unease trickling down my spine. “What do you mean, exactly?”
I listened attentively while Charlotte shared what happened that tragic afternoon. She’d started the day feeling nervous, but as time went on, her confidence grew, and she started to take more risks. She shared how Devon had begun to annoy her, asking her to check things over and over again, his dogged compulsion with safety irritating to her. Confidence tipped into arrogance, and when he’d demanded she check the pin, she told him she had. Except she hadn’t. Every other check she’d made had been fine, and she assumed this one would be, too.
Sadly for Charlotte, and for Devon as it turned out, that one mistake cost her dearly. She recalled the pin working loose, falling, hitting the ground. The next memory she had was waking up in hospital, paralyzed.
“So you see,” she said, “the only person to blame for the situation I find myself in is me.”
I covered my nose and mouth with my hands and closed my eyes. A shot of anger entered my bloodstream, rumbling through my entire body, settling on my chest, a heavy weight, crushing my heart, my lungs. How could she have left a man in purgatory all these years when she could have put him out of his misery so easily?
“I know what you must be thinking.”
I clenched my jaw, grinding my teeth together. “You don’t know shit, sweetheart.”
More tears fell. She hiccupped a sob. “After the accident, I went through so many destructive emotions. I wanted to die, and I wanted everyone around me to suffer. To go from being young, fit, healthy, and active to lying in a hospital bed, unable to move, it does terrible things to a person, Reilley, which you can’t possibly understand unless it’s happened to you. It took me years, years to even begin to come to terms with it. And if you asked me now, five years later, have I? No, I fucking haven’t. I hate being in this thing. I despise how reliant I am on everyone around me. I can’t even dry my own tears, or scratch my head when it’s itchy, or go to the bathroom by myself. So please, before you judge me, consider for one second how you’d feel if you were in this prison. Devon has been my rock, and it scared the shit out of me that if I told him the truth, he wouldn’t feel the same responsibility for me, and he’d stop visiting.”
I swiped a hand over my face, taking a moment to consider her words, to try in some small way to put myself in her shoes, to ponder what I’d have done in the same set of circumstances.
How many times had we all wished we could turn back the clock and make a different decision?
If only we’d taken more care chopping the vegetables, the knife wouldn’t have sliced through our finger.
If only we’d turned right instead of left, we wouldn’t have been caught up in a car wreck on the freeway and spent the next hour sitting in traffic, waiting for the emergency crews to clear the traffic lanes.
If only we’d taken our time putting the groceries away, we wouldn’t have dropped the gallon carton of milk and spilled it all over the floor.
But Charlotte’s if only was the stuff of nightmares.
“Devon needs to hear this, Charlotte. He deserves to know.” Confirmation from Charlotte that Devon wasn’t at fault, that he’d done everything he could to keep her safe would help him enormously, help to lift the misplaced burden he’d carried around for so many years.
“He does,” she agreed.
I rose from my chair. “I’ll go get him. Leave you guys to talk.”
“Reilley?”
I paused. “Yes?”
“How did you find out about me? You never said.”
I clenched my jaw. “Your sister.”
As I spoke of the devil, the door burst open, and Caroline stomped inside with Devon right behind her.
“What’s going on?” she demanded, glaring at me. “Who said you could visit my sister?”
“I did,” Devon said.
Caroline spun around, her shoulders braced for battle. “I might have known,” she snarled. “Next time, you ask me. I’m in charge of Charlotte’s care.”
I caught the exasperated look on Charlotte’s face, immediately understanding the dynamic between the twins.
Caroline was the drama queen sister, always creating a scene, causing turmoil and commotion wherever she went, compared with Charlotte, who epitomized q
uiet and calm. Perhaps because of her situation, but I guessed she’d been the same before her accident. Someone with Caroline’s personality type would have sent Devon running a mile.
Charlotte and I shared a look, her brief nod affirming her decision.
I gripped Caroline firmly by the elbow. “Devon and Charlotte need to talk. Let’s leave them to it, shall we?”
Caroline wrenched her shoulder upward, but I had too good a grip. Refusing to acknowledge her vocal protests, I propelled her to the door, ignoring Devon’s questioning glance as we passed. Providing Charlotte didn’t lose her nerve, he’d find out soon enough, and I hoped when he did, it would enable him to finally move on.
I pulled the door closed and shot Caroline a death stare. “You and me, lady, are going to have a talk.”
“Get off me,” she snapped, successfully wrenching free on her second attempt. “What do you think you’re playing at? Why were you talking to my sister?”
“That’s private,” I said. “I’m much more interested in your reasoning for telling me about her in the first place.”
Caroline gave me a blank stare. “You deserved to know the truth about him.”
“Bullshit,” I spat. “You don’t even know me. Why don’t you try a little honesty and admit that when you found out Devon and I were in a serious, committed relationship, you were worried the Bank of Devon Gray might suddenly dry up, and the onus would fall on you to take care of your sister, both financially and emotionally. So, you decided to try and ruin our relationship by sharing something that wasn’t yours to share.”
She shook her head violently. “No. You’ve got it all wrong.” And then her lips pinched to the side. “Is that why you’re here? To tell Charlotte her needs won’t be taken care of any longer? Because if that’s your plan, I’m going to tell the whole world what he did to my sister.”
I snorted a laugh. “Gotcha,” I said. “You know, Caroline, when people show you who they really are, you should pay attention. You showed me who you were when you told me about Charlotte. You weren’t aware whether I knew or not, but you took a gamble, and it paid off. Devon has shown you who he is for years, yet you choose to ignore what’s right in front of your face and think the worst. That’s your prerogative. It says far more about you than it does about him.”
“You don’t know anything about me. Anything at all.”
I stepped closer, using my three-inch height advantage to intimidate her. Caroline stepped back. I suppressed a triumphant grin.
“You think?” I murmured. “Let me make something crystal clear, Caroline. The funfair ride is over. You want to come see your sister in the future? Pay for it yourself, sweetheart. Devon has absolutely no responsibility to provide for you.” Or, as it turns out, for Charlotte. Somehow, though, I guessed Devon wouldn’t pull the plug on funding Charlotte’s care. He didn’t have it in him to behave so heartlessly. But Caroline? She could fuck right off. I’d make damned sure of it.
Her face reddened, but she clearly didn’t have the skills to take me on in a verbal sparring match.
“I’m going to go and see my sister now, if you don’t mind.”
I barred her way. “Actually, I do mind. When Devon comes out, then you can go in.”
“You can’t stop me from seeing my sister.”
“Delaying, not stopping. It’s important to get our facts straight, don’t you think?”
We fell into silence, apart from the odd irritated huff from Caroline which only brought a smile to my lips. From my limited perspective, Devon had gone way too easy on Caroline, and she’d taken full advantage of his tolerant nature and the deep sense of remorse he felt for something, as it turned out, hadn’t been his fault at all. I wondered if Charlotte would tell Caroline, too? And what Caroline would do with the information once she knew.
She owed Devon a fucking huge apology. I doubted it would be forthcoming.
The door behind me opened, and Devon came out, his face pale beneath his tan. He closed it behind him, briefly glanced at Caroline, then moved his gaze to mine.
“Fuck, Reilley.”
I stepped up to him. Resting my hands on his hips, I stood on tiptoes and kissed him. “I know. It’s a lot to take in.”
“What’s a lot to take in?” Caroline’s sharp tone grated.
I slipped my arm around Devon’s waist and urged him forward. “None of your business,” I said. Unlike her, I wouldn’t break Charlotte’s confidence. If Charlotte chose to share her deceit with Caroline, that was her decision to make.
We left through the same door we’d entered two hours earlier, except now, things were very different. I’d come here wanting to discover the truth, but even in my wildest imaginations, I hadn’t anticipated this outcome.
Devon started the engine and drove away, his jaw tight, an outward sign of internal strain. I left him to his thoughts, instinctively understanding his need for silence to work through the bombshell Charlotte had dropped.
I expected him to drive back to the hotel, but instead, we passed right by, heading farther inland, away from the lake shore. The streets became narrow and steep, and several times, we had to pull close to the side of the road to allow another car to pass.
He coasted to a stop on a road lined with boutique one-of-a-kind shops and cozy cafés, although given the time of year, and the snow and ice on the sidewalks, no one braved the cold to sit at one of the iron bistro tables.
Cutting the engine, he twisted in his seat to face me, his lips pulled tight, a dull sheen to his eyes.
“My brain’s scrambled, Reilley.”
I caressed his cheek, five o’clock shadow grazing my palm. “Give it time. It’s a lot to process. Don’t be surprised if you’re suddenly hit by all kinds of emotions, and when you are, don’t fight them.”
He drew in a deep breath through his nose, blowing it out slowly. “Let’s get some food.”
We strolled along the cramped sidewalk, several times having to move to single file to allow another pedestrian through. After five minutes, he pushed open a door, its dark-blue paint peeling in several places. Inside, I counted seven mismatched tables each seating four, and a log burner in the corner pumping out heat that gave a welcomed relief from the freezing temperatures. Pictures of the Alps adorned the walls, some snow-capped, others bathed in golden sunlight, and a bookcase overflowing with paperbacks was tucked into a little nook. I warmed to the mood of the place instantly.
Devon pulled out a chair at the table closest to the fire. I followed suit, sitting adjacent to him. Four of the other seven tables were occupied. My mouth watered when the smell from their food wafted over.
“Have you been here before?” I asked.
He nodded. “When I first started coming to Switzerland after we moved Charlotte, the hotel recommended it as a bit of a hidden gem, off the beaten tourist track, where the locals hang out. I like the ambiance. It helps me think.”
“I can understand why.”
The menus were already on the table, but as I picked one up, Devon plucked it from my fingers, replacing it in the plastic stand.
“You have to have the fondue. You can’t come to Switzerland and not try it, especially here.”
I held my palms out to the sides. “You’re the boss.”
His pupils dilated, his eyes darkening. He leaned in, close to my ear. “Say that when we get back to the hotel, and you’re liable to get laid. Hard, fast, and thoroughly.”
A teasing smile crept over my lips. “I’ll make a note.”
“You do that,” Devon said, gesturing to the server. He ordered our food and a bottle of mineral water.
Once she’d retreated, I grew serious. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
He rubbed his fingers over his mouth, contemplating. “Honestly? I’m not sure yet. I’m shocked, obviously, but more than that, I feel numb.”
“Aren’t you angry?”
“No,” he said. “Maybe once I’ve slept on it, I’ll feel differently.”
&nb
sp; “You astound me,” I said. “If I were in your shoes, I’d be furious. I was furious when Charlotte told me.”
He gave me a wry smile. “Yeah, she said you weren’t best pleased.”
“One way to put it,” I grumbled. “But at least now you know you did everything you could that day to keep her safe. Her own ego caused the accident in the end.”
He drew in a ragged, shuddering breath. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about that, and you’re right. Other than climbing down to test the pin for myself, I couldn’t have done any more.” He shook his head sadly, his shoulders slumped. “She should have checked it.”
I clutched his hand, squeezing tightly, my caress sending a message of support. “She knows.”
“What a fucking mess.”
“Will she tell Caroline?”
“She said she would.”
“Good,” I bit out. “That woman owes you a gigantic apology.”
He chuckled. “Might be waiting a while. I don’t think those words are in her vocabulary.”
“What will you do now? Will you still support Charlotte, still visit?”
I held my breath, anticipating his response. I felt torn between desperately wanting to keep him all to myself and realizing Devon’s moral code differed from a lot of other people’s. I couldn’t see him cutting her off without a second thought.
The rough pad of his thumb caressed the back of my hand, his gaze tracking the movement. “As long as I’m able to support her financially, then I will. I can’t not, Reilley. I’m not that guy. Her fees are paid up for another four months, and by then, I’m hopeful her respirator will be a thing of the past. She’s due to have the operation soon to remove it. Once she’s stable, and completed her physical therapy, I imagine she’ll be moved back to Australia where the government will help financially, too.”
“And what about visiting her?” I gently reminded him when he hadn’t answered the second part of my question.
His eyes lifted to mine. “You’re my priority. Us. Our future. That’s what matters to me now. After she’s moved back to Australia, if we happen to be there, and you’re fully supportive, then I’ll visit her. But we’ll make that decision together when the time comes.”
The Full Velocity Series Box Set Page 56
