‘That was after you’d tried to drown me. I was in shock.’ I match his soft, low tone, but can’t quite keep the quiver out of my voice. ‘I don’t think it will happen again, but we could test that out.’
‘We could.’
Oh God, this is intimate. And we’ve got all our clothes on, and the only contact between us is his hand on my chin.
I think I’m in shock now, he’s just moved his hand, but stripped off his shirt! But I’m not going to pass out this time. I don’t think. I bloody hope not.
His chest is perfectly tanned, and perfectly toned, and heck I want to check out if the rest of him is as well.
I reach out a finger to touch his sculptured abs, trace them down as they taper towards his belt, and his sharp intake of breath makes me smile.
Then I stop. His lips search out my neck, before I get the chance to taste his.
His mouth is hot, damp, thigh-clenchingly teasing. Oh my, his tongue, his tongue is circling in a way it shouldn’t. I’m throbbing in places that shouldn’t even know this has started yet. Normally I’m not awake down there until we’ve got to the totally naked stage.
‘You sure about this?’ He pulls back and I can see the effort, the want in his face and I’m sure mine mirrors it.
‘Kiss me. Anywhere.’ I arch up towards him, wanting him to kiss my neck again. Such a desperate hussy.
‘Becky?’
He doesn’t move closer and kiss me again. He’s waiting for an answer, he’s not going to… Oh my…
‘Ye-e-e-e-s.’
How can he ask a question like that, when he’s just put his hand between my legs?
Chapter Sixteen
I can’t believe it; this hasn’t happened after sex before. I’m awake, and he’s asleep. I think my lady parts have become turbocharged. That hasn’t happened before either. They’ve been pulsating like strobe lights at a rave and I feel totally drained. In a very nice way.
I am still more than capable of admiring his physique though. It might only be half-light, but I can see every muscle etched out as though on canvas. The gentle light makes him even more perfect. He’s kicked one leg free of the sheet, which drapes over the other, his groin, his hips. His chest is bare and I watch him breathing for a moment, resisting the urge to touch him. To feel the beat of his heart. To kiss his exposed throat. Run my fingers through his hair.
Oh hell! Bella! I never locked her up. I was going to lock her up in the other en-suite. I should in case he wakes up when I’m asleep, grabs her, sneaks out… he won’t find her there… wow, feel a bit tired… later… will find her in a bit…
When I wake up again, he’s shifted onto his side and is facing me. But he’s still asleep. I have done it. Slept with the enemy. And done other stuff with. Lots of other stuff. Everywhere.
This man has got stamina and moves I have never been introduced to before.
‘What are you doing?’ he says without opening his eyes.
‘Just looking, not touching.’
He opens one eye. ‘Ahh, touching, I like the sound of that.’
And he demonstrates a few more things I didn’t think were possible.
The light is peeping through the curtains as I roll over lazily for one more cuddle before I have to get up and let Bella out for a wee. I think it’s the only thing I’ve got the energy for. Cuddles. I’ve been bad, very bad, but in my current sleepy, satiated state of mind I don’t think I care.
My fingertips meet cool sheets. I reach a bit further, up towards the pillow. The empty pillow. I pat the space with the palm of my hand, then open my eyes.
There is nobody there.
Shit, this is bad. I am awake, wide awake now and about to panic.
That bit about not caring that I’ve been bad? Wrong. I’ve just realised I do care. It matters. I have slept with Georgina’s ex, in her bed. Well, not in her actual bed, in the spare room. But in her house. And now he’s gone!
But she didn’t say don’t have sex, she said not to talk to him, or let him touch Bella.
Oh bugger, Bella.
Has he taken her? I sit bolt upright, fully awake and feeling slightly queasy.
Did I lock her up safely? I know I put a pile of tasty treats in the bathroom before Ash arrived. I do remember that bit. I don’t think I put her in though. I’m pretty sure I didn’t. I don’t remember doing anything when I woke up though. Just falling asleep again.
And I don’t remember locking her up in the kitchen before we came up or letting her out for a wee before she went to bed. Bloody hell!
‘What are you stressing about now?’ Ash is standing in the bedroom doorway. Naked.
‘Nothing. Not stressing at all.’ I can’t drag my eyes away from his groin area. ‘Er, Bella, I was just wondering… Eurgh.’
At the sound of her name, Bella apparently leapt in the air and has landed slap bang in the middle of my stomach, knocking me back onto the bed. Talk about passion killers.
‘Eurgh, stop it.’ She was licking my face, and has managed – the moment I opened my mouth to talk – to stick her tongue in. ‘That’s horrible! Stop it! She doesn’t sleep in here!’
‘Does when I’m here, don’t you babe?’ He gets back into bed, pulling her into his arms so he can hug her close and kiss the top of her head. Cuteness overload. ‘I just let her out for a wee, and now I’m all yours again!’ He grins, mischief all over his face.
I pull the sheet over my head. ‘I can’t, I can’t, I need rest. I think I need you to gooooo…’
His chuckle reaches right down to the spot between my thighs where his fingers are dancing, and my traitorous body says otherwise.
‘Why are there dog treats in the main en-suite?’
‘Er, no reason. Why have you been in there?’ I squeak, trying to ignore what he’s doing to me.
‘No reason.’
I want to object and interrogate him further, but I can’t. His fingers are on my thighs, his mouth is on my neck and I am powerless.
Until he stops. ‘She is mine. I’ve never lied to you.’ He strokes my inner thigh. ‘I picked her, bought her, registered her. But whatever, she means a lot to me.’
‘Mmm.’ I can’t think straight.
‘She means an awful lot. You have the most gorgeous body, you know.’ He slides down the bed, his mouth replaces his fingers, and off he goes again…
We both doze off for a while, but I can’t sleep properly. Because my mind won’t stop whirring. In the end I slip out from his embrace and leave him and Bella snoring away on the bed.
They look so cute together. So happy. And he’s never changed his story, always insisted that she really is his.
I pad down the stairs barefoot, knowing where the squeaky floorboards are, and go into the study. I sit down on my chair and try the drawers.
They’re not locked.
No reason to be, I suppose. I’ve not even thought to snoop around since I’ve been here. Why would I?
Except…
The first drawer is full of stationery stuff, the odd screwdriver, things like that. The next one has more of the same, and I move on. I’m trying not to be nosey and look at things that are nothing to do with me. All I’m looking for is a file with ‘Bella’ at the top of it.
If she’s his, then any paperwork will back him up, won’t it?
I don’t find a file in the next drawer, or the first one when I look on the other side of the footwell. But I do find a dog vaccination certificate, pet passport and puppy information pack.
I look through them and my breath catches in my throat.
Every single piece of paper relating to Bella has Ash’s name on it.
Every. Single. Item.
‘Looking for something?’ It’s a low drawl, and I jump guiltily, drop the vaccination certificate and swing round.
‘I don’t er, normally, snoop, I was just…’ My voice tails off as he stoops down, picks up the paperwork and wordlessly hands it back. ‘I wanted to know.’ She means a lot to me, he’d sai
d. And it’s obvious, she does.
‘You couldn’t take my word for it?’ The disappointment on his face makes something catch in my throat.
‘I did, I believe you, Ash. But I just thought…’ What did I think? That if I knew for sure, I could talk to Georgina about it? Even though it is none of my business. ‘Ash, she just needs time to get used to the idea.’ I take a deep breath and say what’s really on my mind. ‘I feel guilty even having you here, let alone…’ I wave a hand in the air.
‘I know, I get it, I’m going.’
‘I didn’t mean that, not right now.’ A pang of alarm hits. Does he think I’m throwing him out? I don’t want him to go!
‘No, you’re right. This shouldn’t have happened. It was fun, but…’ His voice has an edge that makes me feel uncomfortable.
‘Ash!’
He looks me straight in the eye for a second, then glances down. ‘I wouldn’t want you to think that I, that we…’
‘I’m not here to start a relationship!’ I’m not, I don’t know what I want. I do know that right now I need independence, because the last thing I need in my life is another Teddy. Not that Ash is anything like Teddy. But I got that so wrong, so I’m not exactly ready to start again, am I?
‘I’d better go.’
‘I’m not daft Ash. I do know Bella means a lot to you.’ I want to grab hold of him, but I don’t. ‘And I do believe you, and I thought maybe with proof I could talk to Georgina, persuade her she should let you see Bella, negotiate and…’
His laugh is short and harsh and makes my skin tingle for all the wrong reasons. I feel cold all over. ‘Negotiate?’ He shakes his head. ‘You are kidding?’
‘But—’
He stares at me. ‘Don’t you think I’ve tried to talk to her? Oh yeah, yeah, I know.’ There’s a grim smile on his lips. ‘I’m the evil one, trying to ruin her life, take everything. What else did she say?’
I open my mouth, but he lifts a hand to stop me. ‘Forget it. Don’t tell me, I don’t want to hear it. I’ve got stuff to do, you should work.’ He sounds resigned. Switched off.
It is horrible. It makes my heart sink. I feel sick. I don’t want him to walk away like this. We had fun last night; we could have more fun. Well, not right now, but later. But I know he’s doing it because he’s hurt. And I know that this goes deeper than a fight over custody of a dog.
I never wanted to get involved in the war between Georgina and Ash, I wanted to come here to escape drama. But it seems I’m my own worst enemy.
Just being here means I’m involved.
Sleeping with Ash means I care about what he thinks, what he feels. And I know that the truest reaction I’ve seen from him, apart from with Bella, was when he arrived here last night. When he saw my painting.
If I never have the chance to ask him anything else, I need to know about that.
‘Ash?’
‘Yes?’ He pulls the T-shirt that he’s holding over his head.
‘What did happen to the boathouse?’
‘It was knocked down.’ His lips tighten, then he sighs and shakes his head. ‘It spoiled the view apparently.’
‘Spoiled?’ I stare at him, slightly speechless.
‘Don’t get me started.’
‘Please.’ I drop the paperwork and stand up and face him.
‘She had it knocked down.’ He draws himself up to his full height, as though getting ready for battle. There is real anger in his face – jaw tight, eyes narrowed, his hands are tight fists and he’s talking through clenched teeth. ‘I came back to a pile of stones and shattered timber.’ The way he’s staring ahead and looking straight through me, makes me think he’s seeing it all over again. As vividly as the first time. ‘Destroyed. All gone. Guess that’s what happens when you’re away for a while. On tour.’
‘She? You mean Georgina?’
‘She reckoned it spoiled the view, and Instagram is king.’ He laughs, then focuses on me properly as though he’s remembered where he is and sinks down onto a chair. His head is in his hands. ‘Sorry. Sorry, that’s a complete overreaction. It’s just it’s complicated, me and Georgina.’
It must be. I mean, even if it was hers to knock down, surely she knew how much it meant to Ash? Surely, if she loved him at all, she would have at least warned him?
He sighs, and his whole body softens. ‘Sorry, I’m being unfair. It’s not her fault.’ He shakes his head slowly. ‘It was a difficult time, I overreacted back then, like I am now. Sorry.’
‘You don’t need to apologise.’
‘Oh, I do.’ His smile isn’t humorous, it is lopsided, rueful. ‘It did need work doing on it, it was tumbling down, a bit like our relationship. She thought it was a good thing to do, but it was a shock.’ He looks me in the eye. ‘I guess it showed just how far apart we’d drifted that we didn’t really get what the other person wanted at all by then.’ He sighs and grimaces. ‘My fault, I completely fucked up with Georgie. Dragged her out here, changed her life, then came back from the Marines a different guy. None of this is her fault. But it’s not something I’d want to do to somebody again.’ He looks me in the eye. Again.
‘Ash, I enjoyed last night, it was fun. But I’m not in the right place to start something again, either.’
‘Fine. Great.’
‘And anyhow, somebody else beat you to it and tried to fuck up my life!’
His laugh is short, but there is a tiny trace of the fun-loving funny Ash in there.
‘I’m not going to be fucked up twice!’
He laughs properly and shakes his head. ‘You’re funny. Very funny.’ Then he taps the end of my nose.
‘Mates still?’
‘Mates still.’ The upturn of his mouth is slight, but it’s there.
‘I mean, I don’t want you to think I’d do that with anybody, I don’t normally…’
‘Me neither.’
‘Cool.’ It’s not cool, this feels awkward.
‘So…’ He puts his hands in his pockets and stands up straighter, as though he feels he should end on a ‘mates’ note and is trying to think what to say. ‘I hear you’ve agreed to do some pictures for David?’
‘Yeah!’ I grin; he’s said exactly the right thing. I can’t help but feel good when I start thinking about work these days. Wow, I hadn’t stopped to think about that before. When did that creep up on me? I’m actually enjoying work again! ‘I decided it’s time for a change. I want to do more of the stuff I want to do, you know, stop doing all the boring stuff that somebody else wants me to. A new start, kind of!’ Saying it out loud to somebody suddenly makes it feel all the more real, but the feeling is good. It hits me, I don’t feel scared and uncertain now.
‘Are you doing any more of Bella?’ He’s back on his feet again, ready to go.
‘Maybe! I’m surprised you’ve heard about it though. I’ve only just agreed!’
‘Word travels fast in these parts.’ He smiles, then takes a step closer to me and drops a kiss on my head. ‘You’re brilliant, you know, kind and clever – Bella has definitely landed on her feet! I’m glad you came.’
Now that has a note of finality about it.
I watch from the door, hanging onto Bella’s collar, as he walks down the driveway. I don’t know about her landing on her feet with me, I think it’s more the other way around. Bella is so much more than a dog; she’s listened to me, got me motivated again, and in a strange way seems to have given me the confidence to be me.
She whines. ‘Yeah, I know. I don’t want him to go either.’ She’s also been a lovely fluffy bundle of fun to curl up with when I’ve needed a hug – something I feel I do, we both do, now.
You know the worst thing about brilliant sex? The come-down when it all goes wrong.
That feels shit. I want to call him back, talk a bit more.
I feel flat and empty. Because this makes it feel like a massive mistake. The sex. And at the time it didn’t feel like that at all.
It felt incredible.
Like he knew me inside out, and we fitted together perfectly.
But we don’t. And right now, it feels wrong on so many levels. Doing this in Georgina’s house. Whatever the rights and wrongs about the Bella thing.
Guilt is gnawing away at me. This feels like some kind of betrayal. Maybe it did to him as well, which is why he shot off so quickly.
But he was right. I snooped around in her study, because I wanted to know. And I guess I wanted some kind of justification for doing what I’d done. I could just tell myself that what happened was fine, because Bella is his after all. Definitely. Georgina is unreasonable.
Except she isn’t. I know in my heart she isn’t. She’s hurt. She’s successful, she had a great life and for all I know an amazing relationship, and it all went wrong. And when things go wrong it can be bloody hard to admit you’ve failed; I know that better than anybody.
Why couldn’t I have just plain kept my nose out of it instead of souring what had been an amazing evening and night?
Gah. I hold my head in my hands.
‘Not sure that was good, Bella. Well, not a good idea… it was good.’ It was definitely good.
Ash is a bit of the strong, silent type. I guess I’m not used to that. I’m used to people like Teddy who have everything out on display.
And yet I’m a bit like that myself and would love people to take me as they find me. Let me decide when to reveal things. Not rummage into my life like some kind of crazy stalker. Oh my God, I’m turning into a crazy stalker woman!
I mean this was fun, no way do I want it to be anything else, but it makes me feel empty and slightly sick inside to have a morning-after like this.
My phone beeps and my heart lurches – it’s him!
It is not. It is Georgina.
I have thought about it. I don’t want Ash anywhere near Bella, I can’t risk it. Please tell me you’ll keep away from him?
Oops.
Chapter Seventeen
I’m brilliant! I think I need to add ‘peacemaker’ or ‘negotiation skills’ onto my CV. I decided not to take no for an answer. After much persuasion, and many swapped messages, Georgina has agreed to at least talk to me about ‘supervised visits’ between Ash and Bella.
The Dog Sitter: The new feel-good romantic comedy of 2021 from the bestselling author of The Wedding Date! Page 18
