by Kiki Archer
“I’ll do it,” said Janet, standing up and reaching for the mugs. “Coffees everyone?”
“Please,” came the joint response.
“One of my camomiles, if you don’t mind,” whispered Elizabeth.
Stella carefully lowered herself and her papoose backwards into the seat. “I’m so sorry, Andi. I had childcare sorted for Jack and I was all up for riding the chutes with you.” She grinned at Pippa. “I knew she’d make the perfect PA.”
Andi widened her eyes at Stella.
“And Elizabeth ... I had a sneaking suspicion they’d snap you up too.”
Elizabeth nodded politely.
“But I just can’t leave Jack. He’s too poorly. But I’ll be there tomorrow, even if it means Sandy has to stay at home and look after him. I’ll be there. I promise.”
“I’m dreading it,” said Andi. “Zara and Melody have been planning something.”
Stella frowned. “It’s the same sort of set up though, isn’t it? Black tie, canapés, polite conversation and a band?”
Andi nodded.
“But Zara’s got another inappropriate trick up her sleeve?” Stella tapped her friend’s knee. “I told your wife off for that stunt last year. I’m sure she won’t do anything like it again.”
Andi agreed. “You’d hope not, especially since we’ve got John Elton coming and the Sapphic Sisters.”
“No way!” shouted Stella, startling baby Jack and waking him from his sleep. He started to cry. “Oh sorry, Jack! Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay. Shh now.” She started to jig in the seat.
Andi nodded. “You know what it’s like. They’re just there for the photo opportunity.”
“Oh stop doing yourself down! You’re the hero of the moment. Everyone wants to celebrate with Andi Armstrong.”
“Maybe,” said Andi without conviction.
Stella frowned. “Is Melody the one with the tits and the teeth?”
Elizabeth shifted in her seat.
“Oops, sorry, Jack. Cover your ears.” She paused. “I didn’t realise they were that close?”
Andi narrowed her eyes. “Close enough to be plotting something.”
“Well let’s hope it’s something appropriate like a wonderful bunch of flowers, or a sparkling piece of jewellery,” said Janet, as she brought over the drinks. “That reminds me.” She placed the tray on the table and hopped back behind the curtains. She reached down and pulled out a large pink bag. “Shall we do presents now?”
“Bugger!” shouted Stella. “I was meant to bring mine!” Jack started to cry. “Sorry, Jack, but Mummy’s a silly old lady for forgetting auntie Andi’s present.” The crying got louder so the jigging began again, this time with more force.
“It’s fine,” smiled Andi.
“I just don’t know where my head’s at.” Stella pulled herself up and out of the chair, regaining her balance and rocking forwards and backwards. “Remind me of this when I say I want another one!”
“You’re an earth mother, look at you!” smiled Andi.
“Piss off! Sorry, Jack. Shh, shh, shh. Close your ears, my boy.”
Elizabeth crossed her legs and looked away.
“So Liz, how are you enjoying working at Proud Unity then? I bet you and Janet get along like a house on fire!”
Elizabeth turned back around and spoke in a serious tone. “I like to think we complement each other.” She paused. “Sorry, but I do prefer Elizabeth.”
Stella jigged with more force and pointed down at Jack in the papoose. “He was going to be a Betty if he was a she.”
“Bethy?” questioned Janet.
“No, Betty, like Betty Boop. Sorry, he’s getting louder, isn’t he?”
“Lucky escape then, Jack,” smiled Andi.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Andi spoke over the crying, “Shall I take him?”
“No, we’re all strapped in and it’s a bugger to undo. Oops, sorry, Jack! Plus, you ladies don’t want a crying baby spoiling the present giving. I’m going to make a move, but I’ll see you tomorrow and you’d better give me a good amount of your time, Mrs Armstrong! We need a proper catch up.”
Andi stood up. “No, stay, it’s fine.”
Jack’s crying had turned into a thunderous scream. “I’m going, I’m going now. He loves the tube. I’m just going to sit and ride the circle line all day.”
“Oh Stella.”
“No, I’m off!” Stella shouted over the howls. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure you do some splashing for me! Good choice, Pippa. What a star!”
Pippa smiled and waved as the bundle of noise headed towards the door.
Andi jumped up and kissed her friend on the cheek. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. Have fun.” She whispered into Andi’s ear. “When you’re at the pool will you do me a favour?”
Andi looked concerned. “Sure, sure, whatever.”
“Dunk that Elizabeth woman for me, would you?”
Andi couldn’t help but laugh.
****
Andi closed the cubicle door and opened her gym bag, smiling to herself at the neatly folded swimsuit and towel. She’d occasionally nip into the health club next to the Proud Unity offices, for a swim at lunchtime, and Pippa would always spot the gym bag and get its contents clean and dried. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had to clean it herself. She started to undress and thought about all of the little things that Pippa did which made her day-to-day life easier. She’d been a real blessing, and this, as an idea for a girls’ day out, was perfect. She pulled on her costume and nodded to herself. Relax and have fun, she instructed.
Andi stepped out of her cubicle and made her way to the lockers. Pippa had been right. The place was pretty empty. Andi pushed the fifty pence piece, given to her as one of her presents, into the small slot. She lifted her bag onto its side and shoved it forwards. Janet bustled in next to her and opened the locker on the left, doing the same thing with her designated fifty pence piece.
“She really has thought of everything,” smiled Janet, struggling to get her large workbag into the small metal container. “Coins for the lockers. Tokens for the hairdryers, and she says, if we’re lucky, she’ll give us a pound each for the machines.”
Andi laughed. “My dad used to do that when we were little. He’d take us swimming every Thursday evening and as a treat we were allowed a packet of crisps from the machines afterwards.” She remembered that feeling of slightly tangled clothes, made damp by a lack of proper drying, and the pangs of hunger that followed a session in the pool. “I’d always choose Monster Munch.”
Janet laughed and made one final shove, slotting her bag into position. “I’m not sure Chez Garrét do Monster Munch.”
Andi attached the plastic strap to her wrist and tucked the metal key inside. “It’s ever-so expensive there. You really shouldn’t have.”
Janet put her arm around Andi’s shoulder. “It’s fine. It’s from all of us, and we did have to get a nice sit down meal into the day somewhere, Elizabeth insisted.”
“Good on Elizabeth though, for being so game.” Andi smiled as she walked with Janet out of the changing rooms. They pushed through the big double doors and gasped as the brick wall of heat and chlorine hit them with force. “Wow, it’s hot in here!”
Janet looked up at the array of different coloured chutes, twisting amongst themselves, some ending outside, some dropping down into huge plastic bowls, and some ejecting the rider into the rapids. “Wow! I didn’t know it was this big!”
Elizabeth coughed lightly behind them, making her presence known. “Is there any lane swimming?”
Andi turned around and found it hard not to smile at the pale blue bobbled swimming cap. “I don’t think so, but it looks like there’s a nice lagoon area over there.” She pointed at the shallow pool, but stopped and laughed as a number of water sprays suddenly started to shoot up from the ground. “Maybe not.” She looked around. “There’s a Jacuzzi over there?�
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Elizabeth started to undo her plastic wrist strap. “I read an article once on the amount of bacteria floating about in a shared Jacuzzi and it didn’t make for pleasant reading. I’ll get my towel and book from my locker and just sit over there.” She pointed at a beach area with sun loungers, deck chairs and tables.
“Oh that looks nice,” said Janet fiddling with her own green wrist strap. “I think I’ll join you.” She nudged Elizabeth’s arm. “And look, it’s right next to the café. We can get ourselves a nice cup of tea.”
Pippa burst through the double doors with a grin. “How brilliant is this, ladies! Come on, let’s hit the chutes!”
Janet and Elizabeth shuffled past her. “We’ve found our spot. Don’t worry about us, we’ll be in heaven,” smiled Janet.
Pippa watched them return to the changing rooms and turned back to Andi. “Oh, looks like it’s just me and you then, boss.” She grinned. “Do you like my spotty swim suit?”
Andi looked Pippa up and down, unable to ignore the womanly curves and swell of her breast. “You’re gorgeous and you know it. Now stop forcing me to look.”
Pippa smiled at the compliment. “Where do you want to start?”
Andi linked her arm and signalled to the yellow floor arrows, appearing to guide the rider to the chutes. “Wherever you want to take me, Pippa,” she said with a smile.
****
Andi and Pippa giggled their way back to the beach area. It was their third visit back there so far. “Everything okay?” asked Andi, shaking off some water and perching on the edge of a deck chair.
Janet lowered her book and frowned at them. “Will you two stop it? It’s like you’re a pair of silly children, checking in every half hour with your parents! We’re fine, aren’t we, Elizabeth?”
Elizabeth had chosen to keep her bobbly blue swimming cap on, and having done no actual swimming yet, had started to sweat. “Slightly clammy, but fine.” She nodded. “I’m actually having a very pleasant relax.”
Pippa sat down on the end of Elizabeth’s sun lounger and tapped her on the ankle. “We’re doing the Double Trouble next, can we tempt you?”
Elizabeth moved her leg and reached down to wipe away the drips. “No.”
“Girls, stop pestering us!” Janet tried to swat Andi with her novel. “Go away! We don’t want to see you until it’s time to go for the meal.”
“Ooo, yes mum!” teased Andi.
“That’s an order! Go on, scram!”
Andi stood up and linked Pippa’s arm, giggling as she pulled them back towards the chutes. “I feel about twelve!” she whispered.
Pippa squeezed the arm in return. “Be brave, little girl. This is the big one!”
Andi giggled. “This is so much fun. It really is! I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”
“Neither can I. What have you been doing for fun, Mrs Armstrong?”
Andi started to climb the steps towards the biggest chute in the complex. “During time off?”
Pippa nodded. “Yes. What do you do when you’ve got a day off and you want to have a bit of fun?”
“I read, I go for walks.” She thought about it. “I might go and watch a film at the cinema.”
Pippa walked them through an underground cavern. Usually swimmers would be queuing at this point, but today had been blissfully quiet. “What was the last film you saw?”
Andi thought for a moment. “Men in Black.”
“Three?”
Andi frowned. “No, I didn’t even know there was a two?”
“Yes! And a three! Men in Black one, was out years ago! You’ve not been to the cinema since then?”
“I’m busy.”
“Andi, you’re twenty nine.”
Andi exhaled. “Thirty tomorrow.”
“You’re right, that’s it, onto the scrap heap.”
“I feel like I should be put on the scrap heap sometimes.”
“Don’t be daft! It’s me who’s having to keep up with you today.”
Andi smiled and released Pippa’s arm. “I know! This is brilliant fun!” She pointed at the stack of bright orange inflatables as they walked out of the cavern. “They’re double. It looks like we have to go on together. Do you want top or bottom?”
“You tease!” winked Pippa, lifting the inflatable and hauling it up the final few steps. “I’ll take control at the top, seeing as this is your first time.”
Andi followed her up the steps. “Fine, but I’m a fast learner and I’d like to vary the position if that’s okay with you?”
Pippa laughed. “Andi Armstrong! You’re getting flirty!”
Andi stared at Pippa’s bottom. “I can’t help it. I’ve been following this wiggling, polka dot bottom, up these steps all morning. It’s becoming too hard to ignore.”
“You wait until we take a hot shower afterwards.”
Andi hopped up the final step and giggled. “I feel like a naughty kid ... I’m acting like a teenager ... What have you done to me, Miss Rose?”
“I’m showing you a good time,” grinned Pippa, lining the double inflatable ring at the entrance to the chute. “This one’s fast, so make sure you hold on.”
Andi watched as Pippa sat her bottom in the first ring, hanging her legs over the edge and clinging onto the handles at the side. “Are you ready for me?” asked Andi.
“Ready, waiting and eager to thrill,” laughed Pippa, looking over her shoulder and enjoying the view.
Andi climbed into the back ring and looped her legs around Pippa’s waist, clinging onto her handles and shoving them both forwards with her bottom. The double ring started to shift in the water. “Ahhh!” shouted Andi.
“Here we go!” screamed Pippa as their inflatable caught the gust of water and headed into the dark tube.
Andi squeezed her legs even tighter. Their ring was gaining speed as it hit the first corner, climbing the side of the tube and swinging them from right to left as the chute curved and twisted. The thrill was incredible and she couldn’t help but wail with excitement.
“Hang on!” shouted Pippa. “There’s a bumpy bit next!”
Andi leaned her head to the right, glancing over Pippa’s shoulder, spotting the white frothy water. The ring hit the rapids, bouncing up and down with force, nudging Andi even further forwards.
“Is that your tuppy on my back?!” screamed Pippa.
Andi shouted in laughter. “Stop it! I have to concentrate on hanging on.” She peered back over Pippa’s shoulder and spotted more white water.
“Stop rubbing yourself on me!” squealed Pippa.
Andi couldn’t control her giggling. “I can’t. I can’t hang on!”
The double ring performed one final twist and dropped out of the chute, skimming them across the landing pool. “We’ve landed!”
Andi couldn’t hear. She was too busy falling backwards out of her ring and splashing into the water. She emerged with a coughing fit of giggles and clambered to the shallow steps. She sat down, waist deep in water and laughed. “That was sensational!”
Pippa floated towards her in the ring, still holding on and still in control. She looked at Andi, leaning back on the steps, flushed with fun. “And so is that breast sticking out from your swimming costume!”
Andi looked down and screamed. She pulled her costume back into position and leaped back into the water. “I knew you had an ulterior motive for bringing me here!” She said, lunging for the ring and tipping Pippa out.
Pippa splashed into the water and grabbed hold of Andi’s legs, pulling them forwards and plunging her under too.
They both opened their eyes underwater and saw the other giggling out bubbles of water; a vision they’d both remember for a very long time.
Chapter Eighteen
Andi glanced at the large gold clock hanging above the entrance to the elegant reception room in which she was standing. The Grandez Hotel. Booked for almost a year. It was 8.10 p.m. and Andi had been waiting at the end of the red runway carpet for over half
an hour, greeting her guests with a kiss, and posing for snaps with the photographer. Zara had been in her element, fawning over the more famous of guests, promising to come and schmooze them later on at the bar. Her treatment of the Proud Unity regulars, however, was quite the opposite. She deliberately ushered them along the red carpet, only allowing them to pose for one, very quick, photograph. Yet when guests like John Elton arrived, she’d insist on a fifteen minute photo-shoot. Andi was starting to get cross.
She looked at Zara, now standing between the Sapphic Sisters, holding both of their waists and smiling compulsively for the camera. Any onlooker would think it was Zara’s party, not hers. Andi took a deep breath and reluctantly joined the group. The bright camera flashes started again.
“Hang on, Andi. Can I just have a couple more of just me and the Sisters?” Zara was peering forwards with her eyebrows raised.
Andi stepped to the left, lifting her long silver gown, careful not to catch it on her narrow heels. “No problem.”
“Get back in there!” shouted Stella, grabbing Andi’s waist from behind.
Andi turned around. “You’re here, brilliant!” She gave her friend a big hug. “Where’s Sandy?”
“Jack’s babysitter’s ill. We couldn’t get anyone to take him. You look dazzling, by the way. Happy birthday!”
Andi pulled a face. “Oh no. That’s such a shame. You should have brought him. And thank you for the compliment. I was given it by the designer.”
“Check you out, you celeb!” Stella looked around the beautifully decorated room, admiring the twinkling lights above the stage where the five piece band were now playing a Wet Wet Wet classic. “I don’t think Jack would quite fit in, do you?”
“Andi! Phoenix is here!! We need a photo.” Zara was waving frantically, and pointing to the buzz going on at the door.
Andi took Stella’s hand and walked towards the photographer. “I’d like a photo with Stella first, please.”
Zara tutted. “For goodness sake be quick. It’s Phoenix!”
“I’m having some photos with my friend.” Andi was firm.
