I tried to find Will after I came home. I went to the cabin to see if I could make sense out of why he left, and I was surprised to find that everything was the same as the last time I saw him, except that he’s gone. All of his belongings are there. I even found the money he’d been saving in the floorboard where he’d hidden it. Daddy says Will doesn’t have the good sense God gave him to come in out of the rain, but I know that he wouldn’t have left everything he owned. He wouldn’t have left me. He wouldn’t have left our child.
This is how I know that I should have gone into that cabin the night we were supposed to meet. I never should have let Maryann turn me away. I never should have told Maryann the truth, because I knew how badly she wanted a child. I just didn’t know what she would do to have a child—to have my child. I may never know the truth about what happened that night, but I know that I cannot stay here. Will is everywhere, and I cannot bear to look at our child without also facing my betrayal to both of them.
I know that I’ll never be able to tell the truth, because if I do, it will destroy the lives of too many people I love. For this reason, I will close these pages and never look at them again. I’ll close my mouth and never speak of it again.
For now, for always,
Beatrice
Chapter 35
Hadley
HADLEY STOOD BEHIND PFEIFFER IN STUNNED SILENCE. IN fact, the entire room had gone quiet, with everyone, including Mark, huddled around the kitchen table like a group of campers huddled around a campfire.
“Did you know?” Hadley asked Crowley, breaking the quiet in the room. “Did you know about this?”
Crowley shook his head. “No,” he said. “Yer aunt wouldn’t tell me nothing about why she left here, but I always ’spected it had something to do with Will. Then, before she died, she showed me that there diary.”
“Why did you rip out the pages?” Pfeiffer wanted to know. “Why did you keep it from us for all this time?”
Again, Crowley shook his head. “I couldn’t bear it,” he said, his voice cracking. “She was so ashamed. I thought it would be better if you didn’t know.”
“But you left the journal,” Martha replied. “Why didn’t you take it all?”
“You ’n Pfeiffer showed up the day I decided to take it,” Crowley said. “I heard ya comin’ up the stairs. I couldn’t hide the diary, so I just took the last pages.”
“So that’s what you were doing upstairs,” Pfeiffer said, understanding dawning in her voice.
“I loved her,” Crowley continued. “I loved her all my life. And I couldn’t even protect her one last time.”
Pfeiffer covered the old man’s trembling hands with her own. “This isn’t your fault.”
“I was happy,” Crowley said. “I was happy when Will left. I was happy until it broke Bea’s heart.”
Hadley felt her own heart breaking for the old man in front of her. She understood his guilt. She wanted to reach out and hug him. “You didn’t know,” she said to him. “Even Aunt Bea didn’t know until it was too late.”
“The body . . .” Mark spoke up. “Does that mean the body belongs to this Will your aunt keeps mentioning?”
Crowley looked up at him. “The morning I came to see Bea and Maryann off to St. Louis, there was a wheelbarrow in that garden. Fresh earth, like it’d just been overturned, but I never thought . . .” He trailed off, his voice choked with sobs.
“Jesus,” Luke whispered under his breath. “How did nobody realize what happened?”
“People just assumed he left,” Brody replied. “It still happens all the time with vagrant farmhands. It wouldn’t have been a stretch.”
“You knew Maryann,” Hadley said. “Did you ever think she could have done something like that?”
“Never,” Crowley replied. “But them babies she never got to have took its toll. I was just a child, and I knew it. I suspect in the end, she saw no other way.”
Hadley now understood why her aunt had wanted someone to take care of the farm. She must’ve known that Will, the man she’d loved, was somewhere on the property. She couldn’t imagine the pain it would have caused her aunt knowing all these years and living with that knowledge. She couldn’t imagine the choice her aunt had to make, giving up her baby and then realizing she’d given him to the person who made that pain a reality. All these years, and they’d never known their aunt was really their grandmother. All these years, and their aunt could never tell them.
Hadley put her hand on Pfeiffer’s shoulder and said, “That means Aunt Bea was . . .”
“Our grandmother,” Pfeiffer finished.
“And Will was our grandfather,” Martha added.
“I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” Luke said, running his hands through his hair. “I can’t imagine any of this.”
Hadley smiled gratefully at him. She was glad he was there with them, despite the fact that she didn’t really know him. After all, he’d saved Mark’s life and probably Crowley’s as well. “At least we found out,” she said. “Thank you, Crowley, for allowing us to have this.”
Crowley shook his head. “I’m sorry it took me almost drownin’ in a flood to realize you girls deserved ta know the truth.”
“Well, I guess we’re all stuck here now, aren’t we?” Mark asked, bruises beginning to form underneath his eyes. “That’s just great.”
“You want to end up like that rental car of yours?” Martha replied. “There’s the door.”
Mark didn’t reply, instead wandering back into the living room, whining about how much the car was going to cost him.
“We’ll have to call the sheriff once we can get this journal to him,” Hadley said. “We have to make sure we aren’t the only ones who know the truth.”
“I can’t believe this happened,” Pfeiffer said. “I can’t believe this secret has been in our family for all these years and nobody discovered it until now.”
“We never would have known if it hadn’t been for you,” Hadley replied. “You didn’t give up.”
“I just knew Mama and Daddy wouldn’t have done something like this. Even if Mama did take the money you and Brody saved. She never would have done something like this.
“Hadley,” Pfeiffer said, standing up and touching her sister’s arm, “I’ve wanted to tell you so many times that none of this was your fault. But I couldn’t. I don’t know why. I guess I was angry when you left, and I was angry about Mama and Mary. But it’s not your fault. It’s not.”
For the first time in twenty years, it felt like Hadley could breathe. It felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off of her chest, and the only thing she could do was reach out and hug her sister. “Thank you,” she managed to say through her tears.
After a moment, Martha joined them, the years melting away, their faces smooth again. Suddenly there was so much to say.
Hadley released her sisters and took a step back, wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist. “I’ve missed you two so much,” she said.
“We’ve missed you, too,” Pfeiffer said. “More than you could ever know.”
Chapter 36
Hadley
DR. O’CONNER SQUATTED DOWN IN FRONT OF MARK, WHO was slumped over on the couch, his once clean and very expensive suit now covered in clay mud and blood.
“Is it broken?” Mark asked. “It can’t be broken. I’ve got a donor brunch next week, and if I go looking like I just wrestled a cow at a rodeo, they’re going to think twice about keeping me on the campaign trail.”
“We don’t wrestle cows at rodeos,” Dr. O’Conner replied, pressing lightly on Mark’s nose. “But I’d think you might gather a few more votes from country folk if you had.”
From the kitchen, Brody and Hadley shared a look. “Are you going to leave with him?” Brody asked.
“No,” Hadley said, surprising herself with the strength of her words. “I’m not.”
“That’s a relief.”
“But I will have to go back,” Hadley continued. �
�For a while, at least, until we can get everything sorted out.”
“How long?” Brody turned to her, his eyes darkening. “I lost you once, you know. I’m not aching to lose you again.”
“Well,” Dr. O’Conner cut in, making his way into the kitchen from the living room. “Your husband’s nose isn’t broken, but two of his fingers are. I imagine it’s from hanging onto a tree branch for dear life.”
“So he’s going to be fine?” Hadley asked.
“Well, I can’t do anything about his personality, if that’s what you’re asking,” Dr. O’Conner replied with a wry grin. “But yes, he’ll be fine. I splinted his fingers. And I’ve told him to get some rest, at least for tonight.”
“We appreciate you coming out,” Brody said, reaching out to shake the doctor’s hand.
“It’s no trouble. You’re my tenth visit tonight since the rain stopped and the bridges became passable. “I reckon I’ve got at least ten more.”
“What about Crowley? And Pfeiffer?” Hadley wanted to know.
“They’re both fine, too,” Dr. O’Conner replied. “Rufus is in shock more than anything else, and your sister has a couple of nasty gashes on her back. I stitched two of them up and gave her something for the pain and to help her sleep. Luke and Martha are upstairs with her now. It was a very brave thing she did tonight—saving your husband.”
“She saved Crowley, too,” Hadley said. “I guess he was just going to sit in his house until he got washed away.”
“He’s stubborn,” Dr. O’Conner replied. “I can’t ever remember treating him before tonight, and y’all know how long I’ve been in practice.”
“He’s had a rough time lately,” Hadley replied, her sympathy for the older man threatening to overflow from her eyes. “He’s going to stay with us for a while until we can figure out if his house is salvageable. He doesn’t have any family, so we’re all he’s got.”
“You’re family enough,” Dr. O’Conner said. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your aunt Beatrice. I begged her to call you girls before she passed on, but as you know, she was just as stubborn as Rufus.”
“She had her reasons,” Hadley said, smiling. “She was stronger than anybody ever gave her credit for.”
“I believe it,” Dr. O’Conner replied. “If you need me, you give me a holler, and I’ll be out as soon as I can, all right?”
Hadley nodded and allowed the doctor to envelop her in a warm hug before he gave them a final wave and disappeared out the door.
Hadley turned to Brody. “Could you give me and Mark just a few minutes?”
“I need to get going, anyway,” Brody replied. “We’re lucky there’s no flooding at the farm, but I need to get home and relieve a couple of the farmhands.”
“Okay,” Hadley said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“You will.” Brody leaned down to kiss her, but stopped himself, clearing his throat. “I’ll, uh, give you a call.”
Hadley went over to the couch and sat down next to Mark. When she’d gotten herself situated, she said, “Brody brought you a change of clothes. He went to his farm about an hour ago to check on things, and brought you a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. I know it’s not what you’re used to, but it’ll be dry and clean.”
Mark nodded. “I don’t mind dry and clean,” he said. “But I don’t know how I feel about wearing your old boyfriend’s clothes.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Hadley said. “He was just trying to be nice.”
“Everybody here is just so nice,” Mark grumbled. “It’s like I’ve fallen into one of the movies you like to watch on that women’s channel.”
“You better thank your lucky stars,” Hadley replied. “Pfeiffer would just as soon watch you drown than save you, but she pulled you out of that creek anyway. You know she had to get stitches on her back?”
“I’m sorry,” Mark said, his emotion sounding genuine. “I shouldn’t have tried to cross that bridge. But I wanted to talk to you.”
“What is there left to say?” Hadley wanted to know. She looked down at her hands and then at her feet, anywhere to keep from looking at her husband. “We’ve said it all, I think.”
“We were good together once, weren’t we?” Mark asked. “A long time ago?”
Hadley nodded. “Yes, I think we were. We just lost it somewhere along the way.”
“I never meant . . . I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “You wanted a husband, and I wanted a political partner.”
“You wanted a political maid,” Hadley replied. “You wanted someone who was going to stand up there and hold your hand and smile, wearing the latest Marc Jacobs. You wanted someone who didn’t mind an empty home as long as the bank account was full. I knew that when I married you.”
“But you married me anyway?”
“You aren’t the only one to blame for this mess, Mark,” Hadley said. “I was selfish, too. I wanted to be someone I wasn’t. I wanted to marry someone who wasn’t going to demand my emotional involvement.”
Mark reached out and gripped her hand, his splinted fingers rough against Hadley’s skin. “I’m sorry we couldn’t make it work.”
“Me too.”
“We’ll announce our separation when you get back to D.C.,” he said. “That is, if you’re planning to come back.”
“Of course I’ll come back,” she replied. “We started this together, and we’ll end it together.”
Mark flashed her his best politician smile and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. “Where are those clothes? I think I’ll go change.”
“On the kitchen table,” Hadley replied. “The bathroom is upstairs on the left.”
Mark nodded and eased himself up off of the couch, groaning slightly. “The flight home tomorrow isn’t going to be pleasant,” he said. “And I don’t even know how to begin explaining the car to the rental place.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Hadley replied to his back. “You always do.”
Hadley leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes, relieved that the day was almost over. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for twenty-four hours straight. When she opened her eyes, she saw that the dog had made its way over to her and was now resting comfortably at her feet. She bent down and ran her hands along its back, and she felt the same sense of comfort she’d felt as a child—the comfort of knowing she was safe as long as she was here, in Cold River, inside this house.
Just as Hadley felt herself beginning to drift off, Martha came bounding down the stairs, holding out her phone. “You’ll never guess what just happened!”
Hadley sat up, rubbing her eyes. “What? Is everything okay? Is Pfeiffer okay?”
“Pfeiffer’s fine,” Martha replied waving her hands. “She’s sound asleep and so is Luke. But guess what?”
“What?”
“My agent just called. Someone at Mama’s took a video of my new song and me singing with Amanda, and they uploaded it to YouTube. It already has over a million views!”
“You’re kidding!” Hadley exclaimed, startling the dog. “That’s wonderful!”
“He’s had calls all evening from record labels and from people wanting an interview,” Martha continued. “And I have two voice mails from Travis.”
“Oh,” Hadley replied. “Are you going to call him back?”
Martha’s brow furrowed. “No,” she said. “I know he just wants to talk to me because I’m in the headlines.”
“Good,” Hadley said. “So what are you going to do now?”
“I’ve got to call Amanda,” Martha replied, sitting down next to her sister. “I think we should write some songs together.”
“I bet she would like that,” Hadley said. “You always did work well together.”
“You know,” Martha continued, leaning back against the cushions, “I never thought I’d come back to Cold River. When I first pulled into town, I couldn’t wait to leave again. But now the thought of leaving makes me want to cry.”
“I know what you mean,” Hadley said.
“Are you going back to D.C.?”
“I have to,” Hadley replied. “But I’ll be back.”
“Because of Brody?” Martha asked.
“Partly,” Hadley admitted. “But this is our home now. I mean, I guess it always was, but now it really is. And I want to make sure that we honor our grandparents.”
“The grandparents we never even knew we had,” Martha replied. “Bless baby Jesus’ heart. That’s a country song in the making.”
“I feel like I’m just meeting Aunt Bea for the first time,” Hadley said. “Like we never knew her before, you know?”
“We have to call the sheriff’s department,” Martha said. “We’ll have to show them the journal.”
“I called them after you went upstairs,” Hadley replied. “They said that they would send someone out, but it could be a day or two since it’s not an emergency, and they’re dealing with the flood right now.”
Martha nodded. “That makes sense, I guess.”
“I wish we could have known her,” Hadley continued. “Known what she was like before all of this happened to her. I wish her life had been different.”
“I do, too,” Martha agreed. “But she must have known what she was doing, leaving the farm to all three of us. Leaving that journal for us to find. She wasn’t able to tell the truth, but we are, you know?”
“I know,” Hadley said, putting her arm around her sister. “We’re stronger together, and I don’t want to spend another twenty years figuring that out.”
Martha snuggled into her oldest sister, resting her head on Hadley’s chest. “Stronger together,” she repeated, looking up to see Pfeiffer walking down the stairs, careful, as always, to avoid the squeaky step. “I like the sound of that.”
Chapter 37
Pfeiffer
One year later
The Sisters Hemingway Page 28
